How to date offline?

1. Invitation

Generally speaking, when the online chat reaches a certain level, you can make a request.

There is currently a very serious misunderstanding: the invitation skills. Being superstitious about the so-called invitation words is a mistake that brothers with low emotional intelligence will make.

If Fan Bingbing asked you out, would you come out even if the language was dull?

If Sister Feng asks you out, will you come out even if you are a good talker?

The so-called speaking skills are just that in the sales/invitation and other links, you save the energy of your original sentence, and at the same time, the sales/invitation link is templated, standardized, and ISO-oriented. Even if you speak eloquently, you will still be able to sell what should be sold, and what you cannot sell will still not be sold.

Many brothers with low emotional intelligence who are superstitious about talking skills think that talking skills are like spells. As long as you recite the spell, the girl will go out with you as if she is possessed...

Here I will teach you a relatively standardized process:

A certain amount of interaction - vague invitation - then interaction - a formal invitation

1. A certain amount of interaction

This It's a must. Unless it's a very purposeful occasion, you definitely have to have a conversation before you can make an appointment. What, you ask me when we are almost done talking? How long and how many words should we talk to be considered to be about the same? Sorry, it varies from person to person. What is emotional intelligence? Emotional intelligence is the ability to judge something based on feelings. Your attempt to quantify this thing is essentially trying to replace emotional intelligence with your already low IQ.

Of course, it doesn’t matter if you can’t judge. If you feel like it’s enough, just give it a vague invitation.

2. Vague invitation

The so-called vague invitation is to casually say "Let's go out for a meal when you are free some other time" and "If you are interested in XX, I will tell you in person if I have the opportunity. I can’t explain it clearly by typing on WeChat.”

This is not a formal invitation, and there is not much pressure on the other party. The other party will have two answers:

Okay, okay.

Don’t get too proud too early. The other person is just talking casually, and there is still some way to go before the invitation is successful.

Oh, let’s talk again/It’s too early to meet now.

It means that the other person is still very sensitive about meeting. It is recommended that you take a step back for a while and chat for a while before making an appointment. Don't press forward step by step, which will only strengthen the other person's idea that they don't want to date.

In fact, emotional intelligence is gradually developed through a little trial and error.

3. Interact again

After the vague invitation is successful, do not confirm the time and place immediately. Wait for a while and then talk about the improvement.

4. Formal invitation

If a vague invitation is just asking for directions, then a formal invitation requires clearing the specific time and place.

A formal invitation will involve many objective factors, such as you are busy/she is busy, etc., so you must consider all aspects.

What is more taboo is that you are always free. You are free on Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays every night, and all weekends, waiting for the other person to be lucky. This will make you look LOW.

You'd better look busy (regardless of whether you really are), only busy people's time is valuable.

For example, I often have this kind of conversation here.

After finalizing the specific time, you can go to battle.

2. Dating methods

Some people on Zhihu have summarized a lot of dating methods, such as watching movies, dramas, musicals, museums, outings, mountain climbing... Having said a lot, is there any essential difference between watching a drama and watching a movie? Is there any essential difference between drinking coffee and eating desserts?

In my uncle’s eyes, all men and women can’t escape the following three ways of dating.

1. Communication

For example, eating or drinking coffee is a way for two people to face each other and mainly chat. Generally speaking, early dating is very suitable for this method. Strangers generally don't talk too much, but acquaintances don't talk too much.

Communicative dates mainly occurred in the first two times.

2. Appreciation type

For example, watching movies, musicals, concerts, etc. Basically, two people sit on the stage and perform. In this process, it is difficult for the two of them to have sex. Substantial communication (many first hand-holdings will occur at this time), however this method of dating still has several very important functions:

Increase familiarity: Although there is not much communication, after watching the movie Compare it with the previous one, and the sense of familiarity will still rise;

Three Views Test: After reading it, you can communicate with the girl to understand the other person’s intelligence level, aesthetic level and three views. Of course, men with defective aesthetic abilities do not look at IQ. For them, as long as they look good, look good, look good... they have no in-depth screening of women. For them, they just want to sleep, sleep, sleep. ...

They cannot understand that it is extremely painful to sleep with a woman who has an intellectual disability and low aesthetics...

Generally speaking, viewing dates are Happened on the second date. It is not recommended to only arrange to watch a movie on the first date because there is no way to communicate.

3. ***Same participation type

There are many types of this, such as playing escape rooms together, hiking together, visiting museums, shopping, or attending parties where a group of people play together. Wait, wait, wait.

Obviously, a date with the same type of partner will only be more reliable after the two people have become familiar with each other (after three dates).

3. Notes

1. It is best to be familiar with the date location. Arrange the time and place in advance like a tour group (but not as compact as a tour group). What time will it be? Everything must be clear. Many brothers only think about these things after making an appointment. Getting lost halfway, finding out you have to wait for a table when you arrive at the restaurant, etc. are all taboos;

2. Regarding paying the bill. In the field of dating science, there is a concept of "guiding the other person to invest". Many brothers understand that dating means making the other person pay for it. As everyone knows, under the Chinese cultural system, men should pay the bill. Even a woman with feminist ideas who will take the initiative to pay part of the bill will think you are stingy once you ask the other party to pay the bill.

Moreover, even if it is to guide investment, the small amount of money generated from dating does not constitute investment at all. You are accused of being petty and still get nothing.

If you meet a woman who believes that "it is natural for men to pay the bills", it is difficult for you to educate her (how can you change a thought that has been ingrained for decades overnight)? You must either accept it or exclude it (the uncle's approach is generally is excluded), of course you can also fight one willingly and suffer the other.

A sensible woman will buy popcorn after you buy a movie ticket. There is no need to stop her, just let her buy it.

A woman with feminist ideas may make love with you. There is no need to stop her, just let her make love.

Don’t be stingy, don’t be stingy, don’t be stingy!

3. Never think that dating is just an opportunity to get girls. Excellent men are choosing women, and only losers who are short of women want to get women. Many men are actually quite good, but they are limited by this kind of thinking of "getting women". As long as they go on a date, their minds are filled with "how to get her". This kind of thinking will affect your language, behavior and body movements, thus giving girls "you" He has the impression of being a lowly person.

4. Regarding ordering. You have some, but you have to respect the woman’s wishes (so I ask you to go to a restaurant you are familiar with). Some brothers don't have any idea and completely let each other take orders, while some brothers blindly take orders by themselves. Before ordering, ask the other person what their taboos are, and then order one and ask the other person if XX is OK (don’t worry, they basically say OK, OK). You can let the other party see the drinks themselves, and remember to ask if you can drink ice.

5. About drinking. My uncle doesn’t drink or smoke in the strict sense (there are three bad habits, I only love women). Many brothers like to make girls dizzy when picking up girls. They think it is easy to have sex this way, but I don’t recommend this. On the one hand, persuading some girls to drink when they are not familiar with each other will arouse the resentment of some girls. On the other hand, you will have legal risks when you have sex after drinking: According to Article 236 of the Criminal Law: Rape by violence, coercion or other means Women shall be sentenced to fixed-term imprisonment of not less than three years but not more than ten years. Drunkness is considered "other means". A drunken woman cannot express whether sex is in line with her will, so as long as she later says it is not in line with her will (many boyfriends will do this in order to set up memorials), you will definitely die.

6. About being late

I recommend that you be 5-10 minutes late. I usually do this.

If you are more than 20 minutes late, you must express your apology specifically and continuously to make the other party feel that you are very polite.

If the other party is late for a short time, you will pretend that he is not late.

If the other party is late for a long time, you need to show slight dissatisfaction (provoke the other party's apology), and then express that you don't care.

7. About saying goodbye

If you have a car and it’s not too far away, you can take the other person home (it only takes 10 minutes). Many brothers with low EQ are told “Don’t kneel” The influence of "licking" makes it difficult to distinguish the difference between kneeling and licking and demeanor).

When saying goodbye, you can make a vague invitation to the other person for the next date.

8. Chatting during a date

Face-to-face chatting is actually easier than online. If you are good at chatting online but not offline, it means you are anxious. It is difficult to overcome anxiety. The best way is to keep repeating the anxiety (date more with different girls).

As for topic derivation, it is the same as online chat, so I won’t go into details here.

For emotional issues, follow the WeChat public account "Uncle Love Science (cashushu)" to ask questions and provide the most effective solutions.