I feel at ease knowing you are doing well.

‘I love you, and for your happiness, I am willing to give up everything, including you’. ——Zhang Ailing.

1

“Hey, I’m not in a good mood, come out with me for a drink.”

The person on the other end of the phone was a good friend of mine. I kept calling Her little w.

"Okay, we'll leave in ten minutes. Let's meet at the old place."

The old place is a bar, a place Xiao W and I discovered by chance. It is said to be a bar, but it is not noisy here. The atmosphere is quiet and the light diffused through the translucent frosted glass lampshade gives people a peaceful feeling. We often come here to sit, listen to music, or chat with the artistic bar owners.

When I got there, Xiao W had already arrived. She was sitting there with a look of loss and sadness on her face.

"Tell me, who offended you, the eldest lady, so late, so that I was pulled out and used as your trash can."

"Xu Feng is getting married. "

Little W didn't even raise his head, staring at the wine glass, and casually pushed the cell phone in front of me: "I just received his WeChat message, it's May Day."

p>

I took the phone and looked down at their chat history.

20:23 Ah Feng: I’m getting married. Do you have time on May Day?

20:41 Little W: Oh

20:42 Ah Feng: It doesn’t matter if you don’t have time.

20:50 Little W: Oh

Looking at their chat records, I understand why Little W dragged me out to drink today, and I also know not to drink until midnight today There is no going back. I looked at Xiao W. He was looking out the window. I followed his gaze and turned to the window. The dim light outside reminded me of the previous story.

2

Me, Xiao W and Xu Feng, the three of us were high school classmates. Xiao W and I were roommates. We had a very good relationship at that time and we went shopping together. , eat together, study together, and we often discuss which boy in school is the most handsome. Xu Feng was a student who transferred later. I remember that day was the first math class on Thursday morning. The head teacher walked into the classroom as usual, but followed by a sunny boy. He was tall and thin, wearing a yellow sweatshirt the color of a sunflower, and a Dark brown casual pants and a pair of red sneakers. Dress up casually and handsomely.

"Hello everyone, my name is Xu Feng. I am very happy to be my classmates."

At this time, Xiao W came to me excitedly: "Look, he has something." He has dimples and a pair of tiny tiger teeth. I give him a 95 points for his appearance, haha. p> Xu Feng was arranged to sit behind us. From that day on, the three of us got to know each other, studying and chatting together. I could notice the changes in little W. She began to take classes seriously, sit upright, and began to pay attention to her appearance. One time we came back from the shower with disheveled hair and wet slippers. We happened to bump into each other when we were returning to the dormitory. When we arrived at Xu Feng, I was going to say hello to Xiao W. Normally she would have started calling A Feng from a distance, but this time there was no sound. She even pulled me and told me to leave quickly. I saw her blushing and her heart beating fast. He covered his hair with a hat and walked towards the dormitory in a hurry.

Occasionally when we go out to eat delicious food, she will remember to bring a piece back to Ah Feng. When we go on a trip, she always brings gifts to Ah Feng. Even once when we were shopping for scarves, she wanted to choose a men's scarf for him.

I think she fell in love with Afeng, and she confessed to me honestly.

"Just tell him if you like him. If you're sorry, how about I help you convey it."

"No, we are brothers now."

Yes, in fact, the three of us had already become brothers when Afeng arrived less than two weeks ago. We also called ourselves "Taoyuan Three Brothers" and we have been brothers since then. I am the eldest, Ah Feng is the second, and Xiao W is the youngest.

"And I don’t think Afeng likes me, but just treats me as his good friend. If I say it out and get rejected, it will be so embarrassing, and I may not even be able to be friends."

p>

"Aren't you afraid that he will be snatched away by other girls?"

"He is so good, he studies well, he is good at basketball, and the most important thing is that he is good-looking. There must be many like me. The same girl has a crush on him and pursues him, but I'm not ready yet. Please keep it a secret for me first. "

In fact, this is nothing like the little W I knew. He was as brave as before. The vice president looked indifferent, but now it seems that she is serious.

Three

Little W and Ah Feng continued to get along happily like brothers, until they all took the college entrance examination. Little W asked Ah Feng where he wanted to go, and he remembered that Ah Feng said he wanted to go. Take a look at the north. I haven’t seen snow in my whole life. Maybe I will go to Harbin.

Xiao W must have kept it in mind, because her first choice is Harbin. But sometimes fate plays tricks on people. The admission result was that Xiao W and I were both admitted to schools in Harbin, but Afeng was admitted as our second choice and went to Chongqing. When I learned the result, I immediately turned my eyes to Xiao W's face and saw that she was in a daze, with a face of despair and pain.

That night, Xiao W dragged me around the playground for two hours, "How could this be the result? I originally decided to tell A Feng after the exam, but now that I'm done, I'm destined to be him all the time." My sister. "

I still advised her to tell Afeng clearly and not leave any regrets, but she was still afraid that she would not even be a friend.

On the day of the high school graduation ceremony, Xiao W asked Afeng: "Will you find a girlfriend in college? What kind of girl will you find?"

Afeng Answer: "Maybe, I should find someone who falls in love at first sight."

Afeng asked back: "Then will you find a boyfriend, and what kind of boyfriend will you look for?"

Me I only heard Xiao W say: "I like to be in love for a long time, so I will find one according to your standards." But after she said that, she immediately added: If I find someone like my second brother, he will definitely take good care of me. "

"Of course, if your boyfriend bullies you in the future, tell me and your second brother will help you teach him a lesson. "

I saw that Xiao W couldn't stand it any longer, so I interrupted: "Everyone should contact me more when the time comes, and let me know if I change my phone number. "

That night I asked Xiao W if she would regret it. She said: At least we are still friends, and I still have a reason to call him.

Four

p>

After starting college, Xiao W and I came to the same city. Since we were not in the same school, we didn’t have many opportunities to meet. But every time we met, we would talk a lot, and of course the topic of Xu Feng was indispensable. In fact, I know. , Xiao W has never forgotten A Feng, and she has never really let go.

She told me that life in college was rich and colorful, and she was busy with various activities or competitions every day, but she calmed down. She still feels lonely sometimes, and whenever she is lonely, she will think of Ah Feng. She has never contacted him actively since he went to Chongqing. We sometimes only know a little about him through WeChat Moments. His updates. But he never updates it for a long time. Xiao W still keeps his old mobile phone number. Sometimes he calls the number on a whim, but he always hears that he can't get through. , she had the courage to dial that number, and it seemed that the moment it was broadcast, her missing was reduced.

Finally one day I saw a post from A Feng in the circle of friends: Finally waiting for you. , and there is also a picture of holding hands. This news is obvious, Ah Feng is in love, I know that Xiao W must have seen this news, and I was afraid that she couldn't bear it again, so I called her: "Did you see it, Ah Feng?" Maple's circle of friends. "

"See, he must have succeeded. "

Her answer and calmness made me feel very incredible. I thought she would burst into tears and pull me out to relieve her worries. "You knew this a long time ago?"

"We suddenly chatted on WeChat for a while that day. He said that he met a girl he fell in love with at first sight. Later he learned that the girl also liked him. He wanted to give the girl a gift and asked me if I had any suggestions. "

"Are you okay now? You must be very sad about what he said, right? "

"It's not his fault, it's my lack of courage and our lack of fate. "

From then on, when we met and chatted, we basically never mentioned Afeng, but she kept him in my heart and never took it out. In fact, she didn't want to . She told me that a boy in the school pursued her. He was a senior in the dance club and he was very good to him, but they broke up not long after. I asked why and she said it was not suitable. I asked what kind of suit would be suitable for her. She lowered her head and said nothing, knowing that she was thinking of Xu Feng.

五

There must be an indissoluble bond between me and Xiao W, because we were still looking for jobs after graduating from college. In a city, we sometimes joke that we might live in the same community, on the upper and lower floors, go shopping together, walk the dog together, have our children go to school together, and maybe even play mahjong together. It may really come true.

After graduation, we all came to Shanghai. We worked hard for our future and did not want to let ourselves live up to our youth. We worked hard to keep up with the rhythm of this city and speed up our pace. Sometimes she pretends to be strong, but deep down there is a feeling that cannot be touched.

Xiao W is still single. She puts most of her energy into work, maybe this way she will feel fulfilled. We would occasionally talk about high school events during our gatherings, and we would occasionally talk about Afeng. Once, when we came to a bar for a drink, she said to me after drinking: You know, Afeng is my first love, and she is my first love. The first love that ended at the beginning was the love of only me. He was not here, and he didn’t even know. I wanted to say it, but I had no chance to say it.

After hearing this, I suddenly realized that it turned out. She always had that love in her heart.

Later she said: "I am a fool, I am a coward, I deserve to have unrequited love here... Ah Feng must love that very much." Girl, actually this will make me feel better, I want to forget him, I want to forget him... Xiao W repeated this sentence and fell asleep, wondering if she would dream of Afeng.

Looking at him sleeping, I thought of what I said to A Feng on the day I graduated from high school.

"Xiao W likes you and has liked you for a long time, you know, but she doesn't. I dare to tell you.

"

"Actually, I can feel it, but I have always regarded her as my sister. ”

Looking at Ah Feng’s back that night as he left, what I thought at the time was that maybe Xiao W was right not to confess her love, otherwise with her character, she would never have any contact with Ah Feng again.

After that drink, I haven’t seen Xiao W for a long time. However, even now, in this bar, it’s still because of Xu Feng that she still hasn’t let go.

< p> I stared out the window, and her words suddenly interrupted me.

"I really should let it go this time. He should be very happy now. He has no reason not to let it go and can't do this to me again." It's not fair. "

"Is it really possible this time? ”

“I decided to go out to various places tomorrow, maybe Dali, Yunnan, maybe the grasslands of Mongolia, don’t worry about me. I'll be nice and come here for a drink when I get back. ”

After saying that, she took her mobile phone and sent a message to Afeng: I will definitely be there to bless you, second brother.

Postscript:

Some love, although we don’t mention it, is always in our hearts, and we don’t want to abandon it, because it is our youth, until that love becomes heavier and heavier, and it begins to feel unbearable for us, and when our hearts begin to hurt, We have to forget it in the end, not because we no longer love you, but because I feel at ease knowing that you are doing well.