rich joke

Three little tadpoles, they went to a restaurant to eat ... waited for a while, and served the first course ... fried frogs. ..

Three tadpoles sang in unison: I don't want to, I don't want to.

Don't want to grow up ...

One day, Cao Cao arrested Liu Bei, Guan Yu and Zhang Fei. Cao Cao said to the three of them: each of you is going to the orchard to choose a fruit. After a while, Zhang Fei took out an apple. Cao Cao said, if they can put the fruit in their ass, let them go. Zhang Fei tried for a while without success and was killed. After a while, Guan Yu came out with three grapes and Cao Cao said the same thing to him. Guan Yu started stuffing things ... when he stuffed the third one, Guan Yu suddenly smiled, and as a result, he smashed the grapes and was killed. After going to the underworld, the prince asked Guan Yu, "You are so stupid, why are you laughing?" "If you don't laugh, you won't die," Guan Yu said with a sigh. I don't want to! Jealous beauty! When I stuffed the third one, I suddenly saw Brother Liu coming out with a durian ... "

Summer vacation is coming, life is forcing me to make a living. I have the following jobs: writing summer homework for primary school students. Bullying other students for primary school students and holding family meetings instead of parents. Cost:

Summer homework: (62 pages, grade 1-3) 32 yuan.

(62 pages, grades 4-6) 40 yuan

Bullying classmates: (height 1.3m- 1.4m)40 yuan.

(height 1.4m- 1.6m)60 yuan

(height 1.6m- 1.8m) The price is negotiable.

(Height is above 1.8m)

Never write a love letter: about 500 words.

40 yuan

500- 1000 words

60 yuan

1000-2000 words

100 yuan

More than 2000 words

Broken glass price negotiable:

The first floor 10 yuan, the second floor 10 yuan, the third floor and the fourth floor of 20 yuan are negotiable. (* Dogs or tough security guards in the community are not allowed to enter) Those who spend money in 200 yuan can get a membership card for free. Students with membership cards can apply for the following special services: parent-teacher conference: within one hour.

One to two hours, 40 yuan.

Two to three hours, 700 yuan.

100 yuan for more than three hours

The price is negotiable. Hit the teacher:

Female teacher (70 yuan)

Male teacher (100 yuan)

P.E. teacher (not talking)

)

In the Internet cafe, a 12-year-old child was playing World of Warcraft when he suddenly shouted, "Dad, someone hit me!" " "We were all surprised and thought, does anyone in Warcraft know dad?

Just then, a middle-aged man's voice came from the other end of the Internet cafe: "Son, where is it? I'll do it! ! "Internet cafes are very popular.

foolish

A few minutes later, the middle-aged man shouted, "son, we can't beat them." They are well equipped. Run! " "Everyone is crazy about ft.

After a while, a middle-aged woman entered the Internet cafe, looked around, then went straight to the boy and picked up the boy's ear.

Scold: "didn't you go to the teacher's house to make up lessons?" ? "The boy covered his ears with one hand and pointed to the other side of the Internet cafe with the other hand, shouting:"

Dad is here, too! "His mother was surprised, look, sure enough! Immediately asked: "Didn't you go to work overtime? "

Everyone in the internet cafe fainted n times!

His father argued: Double the experience today.

His mother was overjoyed and angry, and said, it's a good thing I asked for leave to come and see, otherwise your father and son would have surpassed me at night.

Double the experience and don't text me? You will know when you go back at night! Who's that? Oh, son, don't be afraid, mom is coming, mom.

Open a tuba to support you. Mom doesn't believe that our mother and son can't die!

All the onlookers lamented: What can I do if I have a wife? If you have a mother, what can you ask? Admire! I really admire it!