Traveling alone with children: "quarrels" also bring each other closer

In early July, my child and I went on a five-day, four-night mother-child trip to Prague.

In early July, my child and I went on a five-day, four-night mother-child trip to Prague.

Traveling alone with children is not a deliberate plan. My husband happens to be unable to travel with us, so we simply spend some time alone with mother and child. I am also looking forward to this unique experience.

In the past year, my new job has been very busy. Most of the time, my husband takes care of the children. This trip, without my father to take care of me, is a rare "intimate time" for us ( Or test? )".

It turns out that mother-son travel not only allows us to learn and grow from each other, but also makes us closer.

Before setting off, I gave myself "psychological construction". It doesn't matter whether I saw anything this time. Family time is the key. However, no matter how close people are, traveling together , it is inevitable that everyone will have their own "travel expectations", and "quarrels" will inevitably occur when each other's expectations are not met. This is true for lovers and friends, and mothers and children are no exception.

Mom’s learning: Accept your children with tolerance and patience

One afternoon, we were in the Castle District of Prague, following the directions in the travel book, and found a restaurant with a good view. eat lunch.

I took a good seat on the balcony. Alley was in high spirits at first, playing with the ladybugs and ordering a tuna sandwich. Unexpectedly, after the food was served, he took a bite of the sandwich and said that it tasted weird and refused to eat it. He also felt that the toast alone did not taste good. He also refused to eat the salad and refused to drink the soup, so he clamored to go back to the hotel. .

Ah, didn’t you just say you wanted a sandwich? Suddenly he stopped eating, so I tried it. In fact, there was no strange taste. It was probably just different from what he was used to. At that time, I lost my patience and got a little angry. I tried to tell him You need to learn not to be picky about food and to be content with whatever comes your way, but of course children won’t listen.

Later, I observed that the direct sunlight on the balcony was too strong, which may have made him uncomfortable, or that it was too hot and made him lose his appetite. It also comes from "the child did not cooperate with my plan" and did not enjoy the delicious food in the beautiful space that I finally found?

I suddenly realized that traveling requires cooperation. While I hope that he can be more "easy-going" and adapt to the diet, shouldn't I also be more "easy-going" and accept that my child is still "adapting", " "Adapting to food with different tastes" is also a necessary process?

After thinking about it, I decided to move indoors and exchange dishes with Are. At least my mother’s salad contained the fruits and beans that he was used to eating, so let’s start from here.

As a result, Alei also learned to cooperate and was willing to eat a little more food, and I also learned a new lesson.

That night, by coincidence, I received a child growth observation regularly sent to parents. Speaking of children over six years old, they are both sweet and often capricious. One moment they want this, and the next moment they want it. No more. The "uncertainty" at this moment is also part of growing up. Mom should learn to be more sympathetic to his growth process. Maybe he is a child who needs to slowly adapt to his diet. He is not willing to try new things right away like his mother. However, I should not demand him according to my own "model", but should respect his natural nature.

Children’s learning: expectations may not always be met

Another day, we went to a hot spring town. We had a lot of fun and fun drinking in the hot springs along the way, and we walked around. , the sharp-eyed Alei saw his favorite "Star Wars model" in the toy store on the corner. After we went in and went shopping, he asked me to buy it for him. I looked at the price of the model and found it was a bit too expensive, at least beyond my travel budget at the moment, so I refused to buy it on the spot. As a result, I was unhappy with Alei.

When I usually take him to a toy store, I actually make a three-point agreement. I just don’t want to buy it, which is always fine. But this time, I don’t know if my expectations were particularly high during the trip, or because he really loves this model too much. During the next walk, The trip became Alley's "complaint trip". Along the way, he kept saying that because of this, the trip was not fun at all, the day became boring, he was not happy at all...etc.

These words made me angry as soon as I heard them, so I angrily told him that if he continued like this, he would not buy anything from now on and not travel together again next time. The mother and son were so angry with each other that they slowly reconciled until they got on the cable car to Diana's Observation Deck on the hillside.

Later I told him that it was a great thing to be able to travel together. It didn’t matter whether we bought something or not. Just like when we go to a toy store, we rarely buy anything, let alone the journey. A large model that is immovable and expensive? I hope he can learn that not all expectations can be met immediately, and that life is not about getting everything you want. Many things require waiting or finding alternatives.

I'm not sure whether he understands it at a young age, but I believe that "being unable to meet expectations right now" is a necessary experience.

Later we resumed our happy trip. We bought hot spring cakes and ice cream together, and went to the toy store window to take photos with the big models as souvenirs.

When you are wrong, you must know how to apologize, and when you get something, you must know how to thank

After several small "quarrels", the "sorry" and "thank you" our mother and son said to each other were actually There have been more. When a child knows that his mother can’t buy everything, if he gets a small gift, he will hug his mother and keep saying “thank you”! When I find myself saying angry words because of a moment of anger, I will also frankly tell my children that they are just angry words. I am sorry that my mother was so angry all of a sudden. My mother still wants to take him on a trip and adventure, and my children will too. He looked at me with a smile and said "It doesn't matter." Even later he knew what angry talk was and what the truth was. We all understood each other better because of these experiences.

Every day, we hug each other many times. We are grateful for this little trip. Even if we have one or two small quarrels, we know better how to travel together. The more we quarrel, the closer we become. It seems to be very applicable to us. On mother and child.

Rely on each other and bring each other closer.

When mother and child travel, we have to rely on each other, and the children have to learn more flexibility and adaptability.

Precisely because his father was not around at the same time, he could not "leave and go play somewhere with his father who usually eats quickly", but "even had to wait for breakfast for his mother who ate slowly" Let’s go together when we’re done.” Without "choice", he just learned to "wait". In this way, he becomes a better "travel companion" day by day, instead of just a child waiting for his parents to take care of him.

We, mother and son, are both on a journey, and we are both more open to accepting each other’s different desires and possibilities.

When we went to take a boat trip on the river on the last day, Alei originally wanted to take a big boat. I told him that small boats can go to beautiful places that big boats can’t. Do you want to give it a try? Originally he insisted, so I let it go and just followed my child's wish, but he decided to listen to me at the last minute, so we got on the boat. When the boat reached a beautiful bend in the canal, he exclaimed, "Thank you, Mom!" Mom, you are right. Fortunately, I listened to you."

In fact, mothers are not always right. Many times, the children are right, but the point is that our flexibility has increased, and And appreciate every unique moment we have because we are "together".

When we walk hand in hand on the crowded Charles Bridge, little Ale will follow suit because he sees everyone carrying their backpacks in front of them to prevent pickpockets. Just seeing him being so funny makes my mother and I laugh. . In order to prevent pickpockets, Alei even held me with both hands the whole way and helped me push me to a "less crowded place" just to "help prevent pickpockets." When I was looking at the map at the subway station to find my way, he hugged me from behind, stretched out his two small fists and said, "I protect mom so no pickpockets will come."

< p> Sometimes (especially when I have to cooperate with children), I will imagine that if I travel alone, I should be freer and more relaxed, and I might see more things I want to see. However, if I am not traveling with him, When traveling, you will not experience some unique perspectives that only children can see. Just having someone along the way, holding hands, finding the way together, and eating together makes people feel warm in their hearts.

During this five-day and four-night trip, our mother and son became closer than before the trip, and we also had a lasting memory that only belongs to the two of us.

See more parent-child stories of mother and son A Lei:

The only son’s question: "Mom, where is my brother?"

Because of companionship, So there is love

Different mother roles can be a kind of happiness

For more sharing of Finnish parenting and life, please refer to the Nordic Seasons Facebook page

< p> My book: Can parenting be so natural - Taiwanese mother’s notes on parenting in Finland?

"This article is the author’s opinion carefully selected for cooperation and does not represent the position of the author"