What does subtext mean (ten ways to understand other people’s subtext)

Let’s take a few questions first: What do you think are the subtexts of the following words? Girlfriend: Tell me, in your eyes, is the game more important or me? Leader: I’ve been told this for so long, how come you still can’t learn it? Look at people... Parents: I asked you to... but you didn't listen, now you're fine!

When most people face these seemingly accusatory words, their first reaction is to be defensive and protect themselves. If they meet someone with a slightly straighter temper, he will be as angry as a kettle boiling. , puff puff upwards. Originally, we didn't want to argue or quarrel, but in the end, it was easy for us to break up unhappy because of our quick talk.

In fact, as long as we make a slight adjustment, we can help us change this dilemma.

To put it simply, it means learning to think at a deeper level, understand the other party’s subtext, and respond rationally. Things behind the subtext

When we begin to receive education, the "ideas" of subtext have already been implanted in us. This is a pun commonly mentioned in literature, or we often need to figure out what the other person means and what they are implying.

Behind every novel is always related to the history of an era. The protagonist of each story has a subtext that represents the expectations and pursuits of a type of people.

Therefore, people with a little bit of urban wealth, or people with relatively rich social experience, have mastered certain language skills. If you think about it carefully, you will find that their words are thought-provoking. As long as you master communication skills, you can become a "popular person" more easily.

Since it is said that understanding subtext is so important, then, what is subtext? How should we read it?

In the book Da Ci Hai, subtext is explained as:

A term for drama and film performance techniques. Refers to the inner essence of a character's lines. Including the purpose of speaking, the implication and the unfinished words, etc. It also refers to the implicit meaning in general.

Thinking about it this way, subtext is an inevitable part of us whether in study, life, daily social interaction, work, or travel, so it is very important to understand it correctly and master how to deal with it. .

At present, books on communication management are very popular in the market, and many people have mentioned how to solve subtext, which can provide us with reference and reference.

For example, Tuo Buhua once proposed structured listening, which tells us that we must not only take care of others' emotions, but also deeply analyze the other party's true intentions through language surface and what actions they expect us to achieve.

We all have this feeling and experience, that is, when a person is angry, if he does not pay attention to controlling the emotion of the breath, it will be difficult to make rational responses and decisions, and he will unknowingly Conflict intensifies. Some unpleasant words that you didn't want to say at first become a weapon to hurt people. As a result, you have to pay a higher price to make up for the impulse you once committed.

Therefore, we should organize our thoughts, take care of the other party's emotions, start from the individual and the surrounding environment, adopt appropriate methods, reasonably respond and resolve conflicts, understand the subtext, and make ourselves happier and happier. happy life. Ten ways to understand the hidden meaning

Stay calm and maintain a peaceful mind

One of the first prerequisites for communication is not to be impulsive. As the saying goes, impulsiveness is the devil.

We must be prepared to deal with conflicts and surprises every minute and every second. Many people actually do not prepare their mentality and emotions when socializing, but when we use the most natural state to meet the external environment, we are in an unprepared state. If we have little knowledge at this time, Without effective social interaction, it is very easy to be shocked by triggered conflicts and contradictions, and you will be at a loss after being panicked.

Be preconceptions and judge the other person’s characteristics

But we have a relatively peaceful mentality. Before communicating with the other person and speaking, we should first understand and judge the other person’s characteristics in general, including his or her characteristics. character, behavior, and living habits.

Different communication partners require us to use different conversation methods, speaking skills, and different levels of listening methods to solve communication problems between two people.

Get rid of distracting thoughts and personal prejudices

The so-called prejudice is the label you put on a person in advance, and the division and classification of people into groups.

This is different from the preconception mentioned above.

Preconceptions are used to judge a person's behavior; while abandoning distracting thoughts focuses more on the attitudes and emotions of both parties in communication.

It is common for friends to argue and fight, and it is more common among couples. They may be hot and cold, so each other's attitudes and emotions are not static. Only with such a relaxed attitude can we witness the growth and development of more people.

Take advantage of the situation and create the right atmosphere

Any kind of conversation has its corresponding place and place.

Should you choose to go to a public place or a private home? Do you meet at a party or discuss with everyone in a meeting? In fact, it must be taken into consideration.

A relaxed environment allows people to let down their guard and open up. In serious and formal occasions, we need to fully demonstrate the intelligence and talents of the social elite. It is these different scenarios that determine different ways and purposes of speaking.

Read and communicate, increase the reserve of knowledge

Only when you use the books can you regret them. Especially when communicating, if you want to understand other people’s meanings, then you must have sufficient knowledge. Reserves and rich experiences.

If you are reading literature and novels, one of the prerequisites for judging the meaning of any real-life behavior is to understand the social background environment at that time. This will be more useful for understanding the protagonist's psychological activities and way of doing things. help.

For example, children who come from rural towns or children who live in cities have their own differences and characteristics in terms of ideological attitude and behavior. As long as you master these general backgrounds, it will be easier Finding the same topic makes it easier to have a pleasant chat. This is another level of subtext.

Do math problems and break down the other person’s words

As we have learned in language and literature, a complete sentence can be divided into three parts: subject, predicate and object, that is Subject, predicate and object. When learning English, subject, predicate, object and adverbial complements often appear.

So when a person speaks, is it also broken down in this way?

If it is to simply learn grammar and knowledge structure, this is certainly possible, but if it is to listen to the subtext, a deeper division is needed. The superficial meaning of this sentence, the thoughts and feelings of the other party contained in it, and the final sublimation are the expectations for the other party. What was his purpose in saying this? What does he want you to do? This is a question that deserves deep thought.

Organize language and express personal opinions

We often find that we are full of knowledge, have plans, and all the opinions we want to express, but as soon as the words are spoken, , as if it didn't develop as expected.

Therefore, we need to master the skills of language organization, learn to speak, and master how to speak.

The simplest way is to talk more and communicate more. Whether it is the partners we meet during daily walks, the aunt who manages downstairs, or the sales tellers in ordinary shopping malls, these all provide us with good information. Exercise place.

Communication review, corrected guesses

After we understand other people’s intentions and organize and express our own language, there is another important task, which is to review.

Communicate and express yourself with the other party again, and judge whether your expectations are consistent with reality through the behavior of both parties. Use this result as a criterion and standard.

Confucius also once said, I examine myself three times a day. For cash people, introspection is particularly important. It not only tests whether past behavior meets the standards, but also is the starting point and basis for our future behavior.

Summarize records and form a reasonable framework

As the saying goes, a good memory is not as good as a bad writing.

After establishing enough communication scenarios and mastering enough communication skills, the rest is to summarize and form your own system. Of course, this step is simple and easy, but it requires a lot of energy. Only by studying frequently and practicing frequently can we achieve the desired results.

As for the establishment of the framework system, there are already many ready-made books on it. On the one hand, everyone can draw on the existing knowledge system framework and borrow it to form their own theoretical framework. On the other hand, you can also form your own unique theoretical knowledge framework based on your personal interests and memory characteristics.

Draw inferences from one example and find scenarios before applying them

You have formed your own theoretical knowledge system and can now start applying it.

With the same sentence and the same communication object, can the same solution strategy be used in different scenarios?

Can the same sentence and the same communication scenario be applied to different communication objects?

So next time if you encounter different scenarios and change different communication objects, how should some knowledge theoretical frameworks be modified to better solve new problems?

These are the thoughts of drawing inferences from one example. Written at the end

In short, live and learn. Communication has always been a skill. Learning to understand the subtext can help us reduce detours in the communication process.