Boyfriend is very controlling. What should I do?

Huacheng Emotional Instructor replied:

The desire for control is one of the primitive instincts of human beings, and everyone will want to control some things or others more or less. People who are usually insecure have a strong desire to control. Obviously, your boyfriend is this type. He doesn't allow you to go out to parties and get in touch with other boys, and he will check your bag when you come back. When he can't find you, he always thinks that something is wrong with you, and he is in a hurry to call the police ... These behaviors all reveal his strong desire for control, because he has a strong sense of insecurity.

But not every desire for control can be satisfied, especially if you can't stand his desire for control and occasionally do something bad for him, which will aggravate his symptoms to some extent. So it is easy to have anxiety and depression. If it gets worse, it may even go to extremes, and do some extreme behaviors, such as hurting you and your family and friends after breaking up.

The emergence of control desire is closely related to his childhood growth and living environment. This role has become a qualitative role. You can't solve this problem at once, you can only relieve his anxiety and his desire for control step by step. In this process, you should pay attention to many details. For example, don't let him think that you want to change him because you are tired of his control. You should use your positive energy to infect him. Helping him to establish some good hobbies and distract his attention can effectively alleviate his anxiety and let him enjoy the joy of challenging success in other places, thus satisfying his desire for control without hurting others. But this practice must be implemented for a long time to be effective, so if you still love him, stick to it and face it with him.