Let go of expectations and let go of yourself - written after the coaching training camp

?I came back from the fourth coaching camp training in Shanghai yesterday. I was not in a hurry to write, but carefully thought about the process of my first acquaintance, acquaintance, and acquaintance with Wuwei. From the unfamiliarity of Wudian at the beginning, to attending the Dragon Boat Festival Wudian M20 class with doubts, the intense pace and brain-burning vocabulary made me meet a group of super talented friends. After the five-dimensional course, I have gained a lot. Because this is different from the professional training I usually participate in. This is a management course, a communication course, and a course to strengthen interpersonal relationships. And the joy, self-breakthrough, and self-awareness brought to me by the large amount of homework, daily check-ins, and the first micro-lecture were something I had never imagined. The two major training camps are also one of the purposes for me to take the five-dimensional course, and they are also what I want to go to. They are free and inevitable. With the help of the group members, I applied for the opportunity to enter the training camp. I met the legendary master Teacher Gao Ping, who is peaceful, wise, aura, and in MCC status. Under her leadership, I once again gained a deeper understanding of coaching and took more practical actions.

1. Gains

? (1) Listen, feel the emotions of customers, and empower customers

I remember the first time I gave a micro class, about listening I also explained the content, but my understanding of listening is not yet fully in place. When coaching others, I didn’t feel the client’s emotions, I didn’t stay with the client, I was still remembering while listening, I wasn’t focused enough, I couldn’t catch the key words, I didn’t resonate with the client, there are three aspects of listening: Facts, feelings, intentions, I do not stand in a neutral position. I always use my own judgment instead of facts. My mantra is "I feel, I think." The results for both the coach and the coached are unsatisfactory. The only gain from this kind of conversation is that both the coach and the client deeply feel that it is different from the past. The manager and the managed are at the same level. In the process of coaching with clients, Coach Gao Ping listens with his heart and sees with his eyes. He doesn’t talk too much. He gives the other party the space of silence and captures the other party’s emotions. Even a tiny frown or a little smile can be seen. These emotions In our daily conversations, we may not care much about the changes in emotions, but as a coach, through these changes in emotions, we can empower clients, find new perceptions, help clients clarify their goals, and find what they most want to solve. question.

(2) Be with the customer

How to be with the customer? Leave the beginning and end to the customer. The courses include "meditation", "walking meditation" and " Empty your brain." During walking meditation, I bent my knees, slowed down, and followed the music without thinking about anything. Although my center of gravity was sometimes unstable while walking and I was about to fall, I still persisted for 30 minutes, and my back was sweating. I asked Teacher Gao Ping what was going on, whether my mind was not calm enough or the weather was too hot. Teacher Gao Ping smiled and said, "Just sweat, the slower the better, the moisture will be discharged. My usual fitness It is related to running and swimming. I have never thought that a slow pace like walking meditation can also be used for fitness. I think that no matter which method is used, we need to cultivate ourselves and be calm, so that we can develop wisdom. In the process of self-cultivation, I suddenly understood why Teacher Gao Ping gave me such a peaceful and calm impression. This is a long-term self-cultivation process. By emptying the mind, feeling the existence of the subconscious, and diving into the deep sea to explore the answer. < /p>

(3) Let go of expectations

?One of the purposes of attending the coaching camp this time is to talk with Teacher Liu Xiaoou about children’s education. The article about the 150-point entrance examination touched me deeply. The transformation of a child from a poor student to an entrance examination, from impossible to possible, is all due to coaching skills, the five dimensions, and the love of his parents. She listened. When I talked about my child's situation, the first thing I said was "let go of expectations." Hey, let me go, as a mother, to death? She is not in a hurry, but I am. Teacher Xiaoou asked me, "Does it work in a hurry?" I said it doesn't work. After that, I would use every spare moment between classes to talk to her about her daughter. The biggest question is how to let go of expectations. A parent's heart is to do his or her best to be a child, and the expectations and expectations for the child cannot be put down at the drop of a hat. At the end of the two-day course, I finally understood that letting go of expectations does not mean letting you go, but different management methods. Don't stare at your children all day long. They play games, don't study, and hurt your eyes. You can Tell him the pros and cons and let the child trust you. You have to truly trust the child and let the child be touched from the heart. Only then will he act and change. When my child started school this time, I said to myself that I would no longer interfere and let him do it on his own. I would just remind him appropriately that before going to the coaching camp, he was always anxious and worried inside, but he truly understands "letting go of expectations." After that, I felt a little relieved. My child is a grown-up child, and the shortcomings in your eyes are not necessarily all shortcomings. He should be responsible for himself. I just need to support and remind him. I will try my best to cultivate myself and improve myself. himself, influencing him subtly and truly "letting go of expectations."

(4) Live yourself and live truth

The simpler a person is, the more relaxed he is; the more real a person is, the more relaxed he is. This is what Teacher Gao Ping said in the course.

In this complex society and intrigues, is it feasible to live truthfully and simply? We are always afraid that we are too real and do not cater to the world, and that we will suffer a loss. But during the coaching process between the two students in class and Teacher Gao Ping, they both showed their true side, which made me admire their courage. After an hour of coaching, I got my three methods, full of confidence and energy. When we present our truest selves, we feel relaxed and let out a long sigh of relief. We treat others with our own truth, do not doubt other people’s thoughts, and act according to our own intuition and our own principles of doing things. No matter what you do, it is a state of MCC.

2. Action

Instead, it is due to action, constantly aware, and constantly acting. After this coaching camp, I saw friends in the group starting to take action and making appointments for coaching. The action list I gave myself:

(1) Use all the spare time to listen to the coaching tools, become familiar with each coaching tool, master the basic process of each coaching tool, and gain the foundation of coaching. . As of this writing, I have listened to Teacher Yahan’s “Nine-Gongge” no less than five times. The Nine-Gongge is the foundation and a set of tools that can solve any problem. Combined with Teacher Chen Xu’s “Nine-Gongge” and Teacher Gao Ping’s "5R" principle, in-depth study of Jiugongge and other tools.

(2) Keep up with the large troops and complete the mission. Done is better than perfect. This is a saying that I have always adhered to. I am still just a novice on this road of coaching. I pay attention to the process. Maybe when I complete these assignments, I will inadvertently find that I am growing.

(3) Act boldly. Practice with the best buddies formed in the coaching camp, practice with group members, and use coaching methods at work.

The new partners I met in the coaching camp are also role models for me to learn from. I can see my own gaps from them, and I also know that if I improve myself, everyone will be so good. The M20 coaching team My teacher Liu Hongyan, it was his encouragement that led me to give micro lessons; M20’s Ya Ling was the first coach partner with me; my best friend, Yang Yan, a super confident and ideal girl, is He brought me into the coaching camp; the teaching assistants in the coaching camp AMY are smart and sensitive little girls, cute Min Min, teacher Wei who is calm, deep and connotative, calligraphy prince Luo Jun, Zhou Jianghong who is both beautiful and smart, and talented Kunming Yingying. Everyone has such good expression skills and unique thinking, which I have learned from. I will learn with you and travel together on the road of coaching.