Too many emotions, minutes to fry? It's raining and watching negative emotions can help you.

We usually watch the weather forecast, but the weather is usually sunny, cloudy, cloudy to cloudy, cloudy to light rain, light rain and heavy rain. We will find that this property is actually uncertain.

Where there are dark clouds, there is darkness, and where there is sun, there is shadow. What's more, as human emotions, there must be many kinds, some sunny, some decadent and depressed.

I have read many articles about how to control negative emotions. At first, I thought it was very important to control emotions, but only after contacting meditation and mindfulness did I know that when we use the word "control" to produce negative emotions, we actually increase the accumulation of negative emotions invisibly.

Why control it? Emotion is also a part of us. Why can we accept ourselves as positive and sunny, but not as decadent and depressed? That's who I really am.

If we can't even accept our negative emotions and get along with ourselves, how can we find someone who will spend our lives with us? Is this embarrassing yourself or others?

Maybe it's pessimism or perfectionism, but in the end, I still haven't learned to live in peace with negative emotions, and even amplified negative emotions into adversity that is difficult to cross in life.

Two days ago, when I was studying in Fan Deng, I heard a book called "Meditation of One Square Meter", which mentioned a four-step method of peaceful coexistence with negative emotions, that is, RAIN's negative emotion viewing method, aiming at how to solve our negative emotions quickly without affecting our normal working life.

When we can't equate emotions with all of ourselves, we will find that emotions are actually constantly ups and downs, rising and dissipating, neither innate nor static.

It comes from a specific situation, just like a sudden visit from the outside. Knowing this first, I'll break down RAIN's way of looking at negative emotions.

It is divided into four steps, that is, breaking words into corresponding words related to each initial letter,

A little hard to understand, isn't it? Watch me break it down:

That is, if we are obviously unhappy, depressed and anxious because of one thing, we need to identify it first and tell ourselves, yes, I am angry and angry at the moment, and I feel humiliated …

Only by giving examples can everything be understood most easily. Let me give myself an example.

The day before yesterday was my brother's birthday, and I wrote an article about me and him since childhood. When I told my sister about it last night, my sister said that I didn't feel anything after reading it, but I didn't think it was true. Actually, I'm a little unhappy.

I went back and read the article several times, and several things mentioned in it were true and all happened. Why did she say it wasn't true? Because in the writing community, my comrades and I will comment on articles to encourage each other and make suggestions, but my sister only said that it felt bad and untrue, and didn't say anything wrong. The signal I received was similar to a negative, and I was quite disappointed.

Sometimes I may not react so much to external blows or accusations, but I can't stand people from my closest relatives. I changed from being unhappy at first to being lost, wronged and even doubting myself, and finally I was obviously angry when I talked to her. ...

But then, I let myself be quiet for a while, and it was almost bedtime. I quietly began to recover this thing in bed, which is actually the process of identifying my emotions.

I realized that I was angry, angry, depressed, depressed. If I don't do this recognition process, my mood will not stop by itself. It will also bring many reactions, such as insomnia and depression, which will affect my digestion and then affect my normal work the next day.

It is to allow yourself to have such emotions, and you can't blame yourself or reject them. The more you resist it, the more you will find it will produce other emotional behaviors.

After recognition, I began to try to accept a series of my emotions and silently said to myself: It doesn't matter, you can be angry, you can be angry, it doesn't matter, you can also be depressed ~ At this time, in fact, my emotions have gradually picked up a little ~

It is to discuss in depth why such emotions occur, what is the reason, whether this reason is controllable, and if there is a way to change it, are you willing to try?

After I calmed down, I asked myself why I was angry and depressed.

Is it really just because my sister said my article was untrue? I began to seriously consider whether there was something I wrote that she didn't know, so she didn't think it was true because she wasn't there.

After I asked her, she said she didn't remember helping my brother fight. I suddenly returned to the scene of the fight. At that time, a neighbor's older boy was bullying my brother, and my brother was obviously at a disadvantage. So I took a broom and rushed over.

Even if we play together, we are no match for him. I wore a ponytail and my hair was all messed up. I couldn't beat the injustice and cried there. There are grievances, unwillingness and regret. Why am I so weak that I can't protect my brother?

Another time, in the second day of junior high school, I was in the same class as my brother who was two days older than me. Some people say I will hit my brother. I had the same feeling of being angry and crying. I feel too weak. If only I were a boy. ...

However, I remember clearly that my sister was not there at that time, so she knew nothing about it. Besides, when I was a child, I fought with my brother so badly that my brother can't remember himself. But I may be naturally sensitive and remember these things clearly, so this is also the reason why my sister feels untrue after reading this article.

She didn't participate, she didn't watch, she couldn't understand my mood at that time, so I would be angry, I would be angry. I didn't make it clear to her that I always doubted myself ~

This is the reason why my negative mood rises ~ Realizing this, my mood rises further ~

Before saying no, say yes. If a person agrees with emotions, it is "I am easily angry, I am easily angry, I am easily depressed, and there is no way ..."

On the other hand, not admitting means realizing that negative emotions are our guests, we can't be taken away by them, we can send them away in a friendly way, and we can't be influenced by them, so not admitting means "we can't ..."

After everything was clear, I looked back again. As a witness of my whole emotion, I thought it was time for this guest (negative emotion) to go, so I said to him, "You can sit in my house for a while, but I am the owner here. I'm going to send you away now, please forgive me ... "

Then I fell asleep, and when I got up in the morning, the sun was still shining and the breeze was blowing on my face. The puppy that eats on the way to work looks so cute ~

The whole process of my mood from rising to death is over.

After reading my personal example, when we have negative emotions again in the future, we can try to use the four steps of rain to make ourselves a "witness" of emotions, so that we can deal with them with mindfulness.

Because sometimes we are used to overweight ourselves in self-criticism, for example, we are ashamed because of fear, angry because of shame, and then act irrationally because of anger.

At that time, the four steps of rain can help us peel off the additional reaction layer by layer, identify it, put it down, return to the starting point, enable rationality, and return to normal life and work.

Ok, finally, let's summarize RAIN's negative emotion method:

Rain means

First, identify it.

"Oh, it's jealousy. It thinks I am so happy and wants to be a guest and knock on my door. "

Then, accept it.

"Come on, don't push it, don't deliberately drive it away, or the more you push it, the more excited it may be and bring us other extra emotional reactions."

Then, explore it

"It turned out to be composed of a moment of anger, a moment of sadness, a moment of helplessness and a moment of panic."

Finally, express your disagreement with it.

"Hello, you can sit in my house for a while, but I am the host here. I'm going to send you away now, please forgive me ... "

Above, if it helps you, please tell me in detail or make a suggestion at the bottom of the comments. I appreciate it ~ compared with others.