Quick tactics are funny

Funny quick tricks (popular articles)

1. Let’s go! The farther you go, the better. Please stop pestering me. I really can’t stand you anymore. , you will only bring me harm. The kinder you are to me, the more painful it will be for me. Fly away, damn mosquito!

2. Newbie friends, don’t panic when you break into the pig farm, be brave enough to fight , there are up to three outcomes: if you win, you are better than a pig; if you lose, you are worse than a pig; if there is a tie, you are just like a pig!

3. You are as kind as a cat, You are loyal like a dog, you are cute like a bird, you know the way like a horse, you are brilliant like a butterfly, you are diligent like a bee, you are similar in everything, no wonder everyone calls you a beast!

4. Promise me that you will be calm no matter what happens, be determined no matter what you do, be optimistic and happy no matter where you are, and never tell anyone you meet that you are crazy!

5. The love store I run has only you as a customer, and serving customers is the purpose of our store. I believe that the customer is God and the customer is always right. Supervision phone number: 12315; service hotline: 520xx14!

6. Tea should be drunk until the aroma is strong; road should be difficult until the bitterness is over; people should have deep feelings until they can still love in the next life. "Pig's trotters, I want fresh ones! Hey! This one with the cell phone is not bad."

7. Not every flower can represent love, but roses do; not every tree can withstand thirst, but poplar does. Not every idiot can read text messages, but you You did it, congratulations!

8. Pig and puppy talk: Brother dog, what do you want to do in your next life? Dog: I want to be a human, what about you? Pig: I still like to be a pig. A few years later, the dog's wish was not fulfilled, but the pig learned to read text messages!

9. You are cool, you are handsome, you are a diamond king, there are rows of girls chasing you, you can do whatever you want. You can choose from them, your face will light up with joy and your heart will beat wildly. Suddenly you hear a voice in your ear: rag pickers are not allowed to sleep here!

10. A fool is a fool, a dwarf is a winter melon, and a cuckold The seeds are watermelon, the big and round belly is pumpkin, the lack of sweetness is bitter melon, the smell is cucumber, and the hanging on the shelf is loofah. These are not your stupid melons.

Funny quick tricks (classic)

1. I can’t forget that when I was a child, I would go down to the river to catch fish and shrimp with my bare feet; I can’t forget that I would play in the mud with a face full of snot; The most unforgettable thing is that in the evening and sunset, I played the flute and rode on you to drive you home leisurely!

2. In the hot weather, I asked my caterpillar sister to bring you some intimate things. Kiss me, I ask Aunt Mosquito to sing a lullaby for you every night, don’t be polite to me, there is a better gift prepared for you!

3. When God sees you are hungry, He God created food; God saw that you were thirsty, and He created water; God saw that there was no one who understood you, and He created me; God finally saw that you were lonely, and if He created kindergarten.

4. The Cowherd and the Weaver Girl are a match made in heaven, and Yingying and Zhang are born in the West Wing; Butterfly Lovers turn into butterflies and make people drunk, while Bao Dai makes people cry in love; Ruth and Jack make people heartbroken, and the hot girl’s favorite is Beckham; if you ask who and You are the right one, Sister Feng is the perfect match for you!

5. Whether you miss me or not, my heart is with you, and I will never leave or abandon you. Whether you follow me or not, my belief remains firm. Come to me, or let me come to you. Pay the bill for the treat, I like it in my heart.

6. A short fat man married an extremely tall wife. Others laughed at him whether he wanted to climb a ladder. He said proudly: One is high and the other is low. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder; as long as you practice Kung Fu well, Don’t care if he has both ends!

7. Life is beautiful and happy, you have many friends and you are not lonely, you are brave enough to move forward and never admit defeat. Send humorous text messages to pigs, and pigs will laugh when they receive the text messages. I also know the effect. , I don’t want to reply to you, just treat it as feeding the pigs.

8. It is absurd to encourage others to encourage others, and it is foolhardy to deceive others. Borrowing arrows from a straw boat is a clever plan, but burning the cauldron and sinking the boat is a decisive battle. Romance is romantic, and sacrificing one's life for righteousness is dedication. If you continue to look down, you are a big idiot!

9. Female patient: Doctor, you asked me to stick out my tongue, why didn’t you look at it? Doctor: I didn’t want to look at you. Tongue, I asked you to stick your tongue out. I just want you to be quiet while I prescribe the medicine.

10. Shrovetide in the West is February 16th. Dear, I was wrong: I regret! I regret! I regret! I regret! I regret! I regret! I regret! I regret! I regret! Haha, love tolerates small mistakes.

Funny quick tricks (selected articles)

1. Of the twelve months in a year, you like February; you worked hard in the competition, although you only got the runner-up; Even in the lottery, you always get the second prize.

I really don’t understand, why do you always like two?

2. Starting tomorrow, the city has decided to get rid of all the mentally retarded young people who are ugly and detract from the appearance of the city! You pack your things quickly and go out to avoid it. Shelter from the limelight, don’t tell anyone that I informed you, remember! No need to say thank you!

3. I miss you so much; I don’t have the right look in my clothes; I can’t get along with anyone. I have lost my emotions; I am no longer popular wherever I go; I can no longer keep up with Lenin when thinking about problems; my heart has stopped even though I am fine; pneumonia is no longer typical!

4. Xiao Wang came back from a business trip in Shanghai and just got off the train On the train, I found that the zipper of the bag was opened. When I opened it, I saw that the information was still there, but there were words written by the thief outside the blank space of the information: Such a beautiful bag, but there is no money in it.

5. I have been friends with you for so long, I have been helped so much by you, and you are such a good person, but I have never done anything for you. In order to repay you, I will wait for you to be a bull in the next life. If you are a horse, I will definitely pull grass for you to eat.

6. In my eyes, you always look carefree, you always eat with relish, and you always sleep soundly. I really envy you. Oh, sometimes I think about it, like you It's good to be a pig like that!

7. A joke: Congratulations on being admitted to Frog University, Toad Department, Shameless Class. Please bring your mental illness certificate and take bus No. 250 to Fool Road. Get off at Quexinyan Street! Please stand at the school gate and giggle when you sign up!

8. I received a small greeting card from you, expressing your deep nostalgia for me. Although we haven’t seen each other for a long time, our feelings are still the same. No change, you said that I have been particularly concerned about you recently. Old Sun, I must visit Second Junior Brother your house.

9.15 Love format contract: Party A: you; Party B: me; Subject of the contract: sincere heart; Method of performance: heart for heart; Contract period; Lifetime; Note: Carry love to the end, forever No termination!

10. Man: My heart is so tired. Are your legs tired? Woman: What does it have to do with you? Man: Recently, I feel like you are always walking around in my heart, woman. : Your heart doesn’t feel pain yet, I’ll go back and put on high heels! Funny short dialogues about quick tactics

Funny short dialogues about quick tactics (popular)

1. Today I accidentally stepped on a middle-aged woman's shoes on the street. She immediately shouted: You are blind, do you know how expensive my shoes are? Look at how poor you are, I can't even afford to sell you! I was so frightened that I immediately knelt down and begged: Rich woman, rich woman, let’s be friends.

2. QQ News just said that the Netherlands is planning to purchase 120,000 tons of waste oil from China and process it into aircraft oil. The Netherlands has a large demand for waste oil every year, and China has a lot of oil resources. I laughed, Holland, what are you thinking? You bought the waste oil, what do we Chinese people eat?

3.A: Why are you so tall? You must be over 1.7 meters, your parents Are they all this tall? B: No, my parents are only a little over 1.6 meters tall. A: Oh, there is a genetic mutation. B suddenly became anxious and shouted, "Where is the mutation?" My uncle is only 1 meter tall. Eight!

4. Next to a barbecue stall that grilled mutton skewers, a little lamb knelt there, looking at the skewers being grilled, and couldn't help but shed tears: Mom, Mom, they I roasted you, and while I was crying, a little mouse came over and rolled my eyes at the lamb: I'm crying, you're crying! That's my mother.

5. Eight years ago, my two Two friends, one has developed a bad habit of smoking, and the other has developed a good habit of drinking milk. But now, the guy who smoked is alive and well, but the guy who drank milk is dead. Facts tell us that in China, there is no tobacco in cigarettes, but there is poison in milk!

6. The new boyfriend the girl just met went out to work! Call him in the evening and ask: Have you eaten? The man said: Finished eating! The woman said: After eating, I have nothing to do and I went out for a walk! The man said: I’m not familiar with this place. Only Wan’er can take me around, and I can’t take Wan’er away!

7. I have money, but I don’t know how to spend it. When I went to buy leather shoes, I joked to the waiter: Do you have human leather shoes? The waiter was angry and said: Are you sick? Do you want some ghost leather shoes? Later, , I spent more than 1,000 yuan to buy a pair, and when I took it back to see someone, who knows what kind of leather they are!

8. I received a text message: Starting from 15:31 today, my wife will I started to sleep with other people's husbands, and I had to happily wait for him to wash, change clothes and take a bath, but there was no way he would bring a gun. I was puzzled after reading it, and when I looked at the sender, I was shocked, there was such an announcement about the birth of a child!

9. Yesterday, I went shopping with my girlfriend, and when I got off the bus, I found that my mobile phone was gone. , when I was greeting the thief’s family members in my heart, my girlfriend received a text message sent from my number: Let’s break up! I immediately grabbed my girlfriend’s phone and dialed mine, then turned it off! Thief, how wicked do you have to be? < /p>

10. One day I went to eat barbecue. It was a stall set up by a middle-aged couple. While eating, unexpectedly, the alarm bell blared, dark clouds covered the sky, the earth shook, and the city management appeared. I was very disappointed with them. I remembered that when the Japanese invaded the village, they killed, robbed, and burned them all. They only managed a third of it: grabbing it all.

Funny short dialogues with quick tricks (classics)

1. I have been chasing a goddess for 5 years, and I never talk to her when I talk to her. One day, he took the initiative to leave me a message on QQ. Do you have time next Sunday? I haven't been on QQ for a long time and I didn't see him until next Monday. I regretted it so much that I called her quickly and asked her what was wrong. She said, it's okay, it's just the wedding day and she wants you to come to the wedding.

2. The four masters and disciples of Tang Monk were going to the West to learn Buddhist scriptures again. Tang Monk wanted to take a shortcut, so he asked Wukong. Wukong replied: I heard that airplanes are much faster than white dragon horses. Bajie suggested: Master, I heard that Shenzhou VI is faster. At this time, Sha Seng took out four train tickets, pointed at Tang Seng, and said: Master, I heard that riding on this thing can send you to the West immediately!

3. I want to watch you talk, but why are you talking? Bury your face in your ass?. Oh? I'm sorry, I didn't know that was your face, so where did your butt go?

4. Don't ask me why I cry, my tears flow for you, my heart goes to you broken. I hate that man, why did he take you away from me dead thief.

5. Wearing street stall goods and wearing Wenzhou shoes, the total cost of the whole body does not exceed 200 yuan, but the bag in hand is considered a high-end leather bag, because its English name is gaojipibao.

6. It rained one day in the mental hospital. Many patients were bathing in the rain. You were the only one watching by the window. The director asked curiously: What are you doing? You replied: I will wait until the water is hot. !

7. Your moving voice came from the valley. I looked down and it was you! It was really you! You were with an old man. I ran down excitedly and said: Uncle, I can lend you this. Is it okay to use a donkey?

8. Some people say that you look like a professor during the day and an animal at night. I think they are wrong, because when you take off your clothes at night, you are a beast, and when you put on clothes during the day, you are not a professor, you are a beast!

9. After working, I got to know more and more people, but I found that people There is less and less true love between people. Suddenly I thought of you, so I bought you your favorite food, seafood-flavored dog food!

10. You look at me for a while, and then look at the ground for a while. I feel like you are far away when you look at me, but very close when you look at the ground. Alas, you can gnaw on those bones, it’s really a headache to take you out for a walk!

Funny short dialogues with quick means (selected articles)

1. When The moment I turned around and left, you cried helplessly behind me. The heart-rending pain made me instantly understand how much I love you. I turned around and hugged you: This pig is not for sale.

2. I miss you so much! Oops, I accidentally sent it by mistake. I sent it anyway. If you accept it, then save it; if you don’t accept it, please send these four words back. Give it to me, thank you!

3. Monday, discharge. Tuesday, hold hands. Wednesday, first kiss. Thursday, love. Friday, Beautiful Lies. Saturday, a romantic kiss goodbye. Sunday, rotation.

4. I understand that every text message I send to you makes you unforgettable! I understand that every word I write to you makes you forget to eat and sleep! But I want to know the meal you owe me. , when will you ask?

5. Today I saw a beggar begging with two hats. After giving him a dime, I asked the beggar why he was holding two hats. The beggar replied that business has not been very good recently. OK, I opened another store.

6. You are the most beautiful in my eyes, and every smile makes me intoxicated. Your bad, your good, your pout when you lose your temper. You are the most beautiful in my heart, and only those who love each other can understand it best.

7. Keep the principle firmly in mind. One person stands beside you. There is no need to be near the water to clean. There is a road sign to guide the sheep. There is no need to touch the button with your hands. The best thing is that there is no rice in the chaff. (Answer: I wish you good luck and good health)

8. I am obsessed with loving you, I have a fever thinking about you, my face turns red and my heart beats, I can’t help but dream about you, please don’t run away, I want you so much Hug you! Ah! Qian, it’s just a joke, don’t worry about it!

9. Every night after I met you, I tossed and turned and couldn’t sleep, all I thought about was you! You Your smile and your face appear in my heart all the time, scaring me so much that I can’t sleep!

10. Your shy face is so beautiful, like a budding flower; you are light and graceful Li's gentle and lovely posture, like a kitten's temperament, made me so intoxicated, so you got a nickname: Colorful Cat, Kuaishou, Talk about love, Kuaishou, talk about love

1. Suddenly I discovered that many of my good friends had lost contact without knowing it. It turns out that friendship is the same as love. Without management, it will become a stranger in the end.

2. One day, you no longer need a vigorous love, you just need someone by your side to give you a cup of hot water. All you want is someone who will not leave you.

3. Find something that I think is important, whether it is ideal or love. I need something like this to remind me that I am not living by the inertia of living.

4. Of course I know that people change, and I never expected you to be the same forever, but when I felt that you were no longer the same as before, I couldn't help but feel secretly sad for a long time.

5. There is no point in being sad, the most important thing is to live a good life. Although love is beautiful, it is not everything in life. It is better to smile and forget than to remember sadly.

6. The world is so big, but I met you; the world is so small, but I lost you. Why would I leave traces if I missed you? Why would I meet you if I missed you?

7. Falling in love is like drinking a glass of water. At first it is to quench your thirst. After you drink it, it seeps into your blood and enters your bones, becoming indispensable without even realizing it.

8. Before I fell in love with you, I wanted to explore the world alone and see this colorful world. After I fell in love with you, I felt that the world was too far away. I won’t go. I just want to be by your side.

9. Life is complete only when it is bitter and sweet; it is interesting when love is both troubled and harmonious; it is experienced when the mood is sad and happy; it is natural when days are cloudy and sunny. May you laugh and have fun every day!

10. I'm not afraid of us being separated temporarily. If good love needs to go around in a big circle before coming back, then I can hug you with a smile and say, look, you are still mine.

11. Is there someone you want to see but can't; is there someone you want to love but don't dare to love; is there someone you want to forget but won't forget?

12. Please cherish the people around you who love you silently. Maybe, one day when he really leaves. You will find that it is you who cannot live without each other, not him.

13. I have walked on bridges in many places, seen clouds many times, and drank many kinds of wine, but I have only loved one person at his best age. Good morning!

14. I have made plans to spend the rest of my life with you, and I am also ready for you to leave at any time. This is probably the best view of love, affectionate without entanglement.

15. Love cannot be forced, and marriage does not need to be forced. Both men and women should be cautious about love and marriage. Emotional marriage cannot be a casual act.

16. Only caring thoughts are called love. Only when there are years of humility is it called marriage. Companionship is the longest confession of love, and happiness is finding a warm person to spend a lifetime.

17. No matter how earth-shattering the oath of friendship is, it is not as good as the unbreakable companionship, and no matter how unforgettable the love is, it is not as good as the simple happiness of daily necessities.

18. What is love? The best form of love is, two people in one room, three meals a day, four seasons, you love to sing, I love to laugh, I admire you like a hero, and you pamper me like a child.

19. It's a pity to be alone on such a beautiful night. It has become a pity to miss the love that cannot be obtained. Love songs let me waste my time in romance, but in the end it ended.

20. The so-called love is the best. You are in my hand and belong to me. I am in your hand and I give everything to you. You live in my heart and I feel most comfortable. Only when I live in your heart do I feel at ease.

21. Only by experiencing can you understand life, and only by understanding can you cherish it. There will always be someone in your life who makes you laugh the sweetest, and there will always be someone who makes you feel the deepest pain.

22. Indulging one's own desires is the greatest disaster; talking about other people's privacy is the greatest sin; not knowing one's own faults is the greatest illness. —— Aristotle

23. Cutting off love is definitely not heartless and unjust. To tell you the truth, your love is fake and not real. You are lying to yourself and others, and it is false.

24. I don’t know since when, finding you at a glance among the crowd has become what I am best at. Wherever I miss you, wherever I look, you are there.

25. There was once a true love in front of me, but I didn't cherish it. When I lost it, I regretted it. The most painful thing in the world is this.

26. As long as you can control it, it is not love, but need. Falling in love means knowing that you don’t want it, but you just can’t help it. I always want to leave, but I just can’t.

27. I hope there is someone like you, like the refreshing wind in the mountains, like the warm light of the ancient city, from early morning to night, from the mountains to the study, as long as it is you in the end.

28. Love that cannot stay together for a lifetime is just a transit station that comes and goes in a long journey. No matter how long you stay, you always have to leave and take another flight.

29. The most beautiful feelings are not because they are the best, so we are nostalgic for them, but because they can never go back, and we can only summon them with nostalgia, so we become the best!

30. The love I want is very simple: when I speak, you will listen; when I am willful, you will love; when I need you, you will be there; when I turn around, you will still be there. That's enough.

31. Love is a feeling that makes you feel happy even if it hurts. Love is an experience that feels sweet even if your heart is broken. Love is an experience that makes you feel beautiful even when you are broken.

32． Love is not about being able to enjoy those sweet moments of enchanting love, but it is about being able to withstand the disappointment caused by loneliness and indifference in the long years to come.

33. When I was a child, I looked at the sky full of stars. When the meteors flew by, I always had no time to make a wish. When I grew up, when I met the person I really liked, it was still too late.

34. Only then did I understand that when I like someone, I will see you from the corners of my eyes and eyebrows, from all directions, from heaven to earth, you will be your success, and you will be your failure.

35. You and I are destined to be on parallel trajectories, and we are not dependent on each other at the end of the world. Just each other, listening to the fragments of life, the footprints left behind by strangers, and the hurried calls.

36. "Do you know where ABC begins?" "From A." "Then do you know where love begins?" "Where?" "It begins with you and me."

37 ． True love includes appropriate rejection, timely praise, decent criticism, appropriate argument, necessary encouragement, gentle comfort, and effective urging.

38. I don’t expect vigorous love, I don’t expect any sweet words, or vows of eternal love. I just hope that in the long days, you will never leave me.

39. In fact, if I really want to contact you, I can find any reason to persuade you. However, some things have passed away, so it is my gentleness not to bother you.

40. There is no winning or losing in life, only whether it is worth it or not. Anything and any experience, including love and work, is either gained or learned. —— Chen Wenqian Kuaishou’s popular funny jokes, Kuaishou’s complete collection of funny jokes

1. I always say that I am tough-talking, but if you don’t kiss me, how will you know if I am soft-spoken or not?

2. There are so many friends to make, regardless of your wealth, background, education, or looks. If we all hang out together, if you can take a beautiful photo of me, you will be my good friend.

3. Even though some people appear to be doing well on the outside, they are busy catching up on homework behind the scenes.

4. Zuo Zi was lying charmingly on my bed, her charming lips slightly parted: Officer, it’s been so long, why don’t you come and touch me. This homework is indeed a beauty, the voice trembles slightly and the last three times the voice line rises, it tickles people's hearts like a feather. I slapped her face: It’s the last day to let you know how powerful I am.

5． I spit on the plane today and several foreigners looked at me. In order not to embarrass the Chinese people, I said "Baga!"

6. Everything that can be solved with money is small. No wonder I can't solve anything.

7. When you grow up and have no place to go, just go to a nunnery. I just heard that Wu Meiniang went there and became Wu Zetian, Zhen Huan went there and became the empress dowager, and Yang Yuhuan went there and became Yang Guifei.

8. I usually drive a Land Rover when I go to school, a Bentley when I go out for fun, and a Ferrari when I'm drag racing. But if you ask me what I love to drive the most, I love to joke the most.

9. Teacher: This question is your score! God’s reply: Mom said you can’t just ask for things from others.

10. For a gentle person like me, I can tell at a glance that I am just pretending.

11. A winter vacation has passed, my words have become ugly, I have become stupid, my IQ has dropped, I have forgotten everything I learned, and everything has been restored to factory settings.

12. When I was a child, I went to the zoo with my family. While watching the monkeys, I stuck my head into the railing, and then I couldn't pull it out. I was so anxious that I burst into tears. Everyone stopped looking at the monkeys and all gathered around me. Even the monkeys Look at me on the rockery.

13. I saw a sign saying 3.3 meters of preserved egg and lean meat. I read it out, and then the shop owner said: Beauty, I’m sorry, this is preserved egg and lean meat porridge. I was laughed at for a long time.

14. People who know your past are scary, but people who have photos of your past are even scarier.

15. I bought a cheap power bank online. When I came back, I couldn't wait to use it and charge my phone. Half an hour later I found that the phone was out of power, and the power bank's original 80% power was now 100%.

16. Not long after school started, I didn’t recognize anyone, and some of them had already fallen in love, on and off, for three hundred rounds.

17. I was having a great chat with my roommate in high school. The roommate on the upper bunk who was asleep said in his sleep that I was going to fart, but he actually farted. Then he said I was going to poop, which scared his roommate on the lower bunk. Climb up quickly and shake him awake.

18. If you gave me 50 years to write my winter vacation homework, I would still put it off until the last day.

19. Why do you think you are looking for such a handsome boyfriend? You worry about being snatched away by other girls every day, so you leave the handsome one to me. I am worried about you.

20. I thought about the five words "especially able to endure hardship" and I achieved the first four.

21. In fact, we met as early as a thousand years ago. It was an autumn without white clouds. You ran with me in the wind, and you left tooth marks on my body. Later, this incident became a legend through the ages. That At that time, my name was Lu Dongbin.

22. Lost in love, I posted a post about why I feel suffocated even when listening to music. Someone replied below: Please don’t wrap your earphones around your neck to listen to music.

23. I originally thought there would be a vigorous review, but later I found that even finishing the homework was a problem.

24. A friend said he had a phone number for shopping rebates. I was surprised: Are you sure it's not the website but the phone number? A friend said: You can get a rebate by calling this number after you receive the goods after shopping online, but the rebate is not very much.

I dialed the number with the intention of giving it a try, and then I heard a male voice with substandard Mandarin coming from the other end of the phone asking: Hello, do you want to come to collect scrap?