Maybe I will be so mediocre all my life.

When I think that my life will probably be as mediocre as it is now, my heart has no waves.

Since I got married and gave birth to a child, I have been wandering around my children every day except taking them to play with their mobile phones to kill time. I have lost my motivation and enthusiasm for life. It seems that there is nothing I particularly want to do, and I want to do it at once. I feel that I am not enthusiastic about anything and I am not very interested in anything.

Sometimes the weather is very good, I want to change into beautiful clothes and take my children out to take pictures. But when I think about how children are hungry outside, how to sleep, how to pull, and how to bring a lot of things, I think about it or forget it.

I don't know why I became like this. I feel that every day is a fool's day, and everything is three minutes of heat. Stick to it for a while, and then I feel boring, and then I give up. I know that it is an investment for me to keep exercising, reading and learning English every day, but I just can't do it. I can't even brush my teeth before going to bed every night. what can I do?

I even regret getting married and having children. Marriage is a shackle and a cage. Although I have the key, I just can't escape. I don't even know the meaning of living, and I don't have any lofty aspirations and ideals. I may not even be as good as salted fish, at least salted fish knows how to turn over for himself.

Enthusiasm, goal, ideal, these beautiful words are getting farther and farther away from me, numb, that's it, forget it. These negative and powerless words stick to me every day and can't be torn off.

Let it go, maybe this is my life.

Maybe my whole life will be spent in mediocrity.