Seek classic short jokes and cold jokes

69.1. After dinner today, I found a bench on campus and took a nap. When I woke up, I found a few cents in the rice bowl.

2. Last time I helped a classmate lift the computer, I rented a scooter at the north gate. Then I rode back to

from the south gate. Near Nengke Building, a middle-aged man quickly rode to catch up with me and asked, "What kind of junk do you collect?" It makes me depressed.

3. When we were doing the basic design, a brother in the opposite lab took three boys in our grade to process the circuit board. It's near the southwest gate of Keyi Factory. It's said that he went there with a broken woven bag. At that time, Lanqiying Community was under construction, and that day he caught up with a sandstorm, blowing his disciples to the ground. When I arrived at the gate of Keyi Factory, I was stopped by the doorman < P >, and they said it was for processing. The doorman said, "Come here, you guys. One of you can write

and fill out the visitor list!"

4. I just moved to the new campus that day, went out to buy lunch boxes, and bought them for everyone together. One ***

7 copies. When I entered the gate of the dormitory area, two mm saw me, and then one of them

said to the other, "Didn't you say that you can't send takeout food?"

5. Once in front of Shuang 'an Shopping Mall, I put my schoolbag on my chest and waited for my classmates. After a person stopped the car, he told me that I was from the shopping mall, and then walked away ...

6. Once I sent GF home, I was stopped by the doorman downstairs and told me not to clean up the garbage at night, so I

would come back tomorrow morning.

when I was 7 or 16 years old, I went to a public toilet to pee. After paying 2 cents, I went straight to the ladies' room. The old man who received the money grabbed me and shouted, "Where are you running around, smelly boy?" ！”

8. Three of our classmates were walking in Zhongguancun Street when a CD seller came over and asked,

Do you want a CD? The classmate ignored it and asked another classmate if he wanted the software. Students ignore it.

He ran up to me again and asked, Do you want porn? Shit, the giant has no face, and he was laughed wildly by his classmates. Go back and look in the mirror, it's not like watching porn too much.

9. Besides, when our family first arrived here, we didn't know the administrators downstairs very well.

Later, the manager downstairs once said to my mother: Your maid seems to be very punctual

. It was 4 o'clock sharp when I got home from school. This misunderstanding was solved after one month

.

1. I was waiting for the bus at Princess Station that day, and an uncle pretended to know a lot and said to me

, "Look at how much this is for me, you can't cheat me!" I said

and took out a mobile phone from my coat. I said I wouldn't accept it, I was waiting for the bus! The resident

suddenly said, "What's wrong with mobile phone dealers now? Don't want such a good thing! "

depressed!

11. When I was in college, I didn't shave once, and then I went to the classroom for self-study. I was stopped by a

person at the door. Well, "Uncle, what time is it?" Suddenly petrified! ! That's

sad, only 2 years old! From now on, shave every day!

12. When I was in college, I wore a red dress and went to Carrefour. I was dragged by an uncle

and asked, "Miss, where do you sell seasoning salt? ...

13. I saw someone in our school setting up a stall that weekend looking for a tutor. I was just about to say

hello, and he came forward," Uncle, do you want to ask a tutor for your child? " I was dizzy

14. On the eve of graduation, I accompanied a buddy to the talent market to apply for a job. I saw that the

recruitment of a normal college had ended, so I sat down at their recruitment desk, came over to a plmm

and asked, "What major are you looking for, teacher?" At that time, I froze. You know, I

was also a graduate:-((

15. Once I was walking on the street with a classmate, we were both men, and a

person came to us and asked, "Do you want a couple's watch? 28 yuan and his wife. "Are we just like

sharing the same ambition?

16. In the past, when I had long hair, I went to my classmate's house to play and was praised by her mother: this

girl is really tall.

17. Once I went to the toilet, I saw a man with long hair. We were both

surprised: I probably thought I had the wrong toilet ...

18. I moved into a new home and bought a lot at one time. Kao, do I look like I can't afford a taxi? I told him that I was driving by myself, and he lamented that being a taxi driver was hard and his waist was bad. Kao, do I look like a

with a bad waist? I told him I wasn't a taxi driver, and he suddenly realized, "Oh, you used to be the driver of the unit to drive for the leader." I said it lazily and let it go. But one day, I met

and he knocked on my door early in the morning, asking me to give him a ride. Because it was basically on the way, I wanted to count it as

, but I even said, "It's public oil anyway."

19. I know I look old, but some ticket sellers have gone too far. Every time I get on the bus, just

stand firm, the ticket seller shouts, "That comrade has given this master a seat.". I

am only 22 years old ... My brother, with developed hair, forgot to tidy up his face one day, and rode out on a broken donkey with a big green cloth bag (not military, pure green) on his back. He was asked by more than N people whether to repair the gas stove, sewer and security door.

2. I occasionally wear a US military jungle camouflage to go to a bar, and MM drank too much. I wait in front of the toilet

. Then a GG came over, borrowed a light from me and asked me what time it was. When he left, he asked me, "What time do you go to work?" I don't understand, he stressed. Aren't you the security guard here? * *, he has seen the security guard wearing 25 sets of original camouflage, Roamer with

6 yuan, and drawing soft boxes of Chinese security horses? I told MM that MM was laughing violently all night < P >. Although I am not very bookish, I am a postdoctoral fellow after all. I have the same experience occasionally. I like to cross a black bag at work, and I dress more casually, and my hair is generally messy. As a result, when I entered the office building at work in the morning, someone asked me, "What's the phone number of your courier company?"

22. A friend's colleague went to Shanghai on business and asked the director of the telecommunications bureau if he was in.

The nanny shouted in Shanghai dialect, "Director, there are two country people coming to see you." I didn't know that

colleague could understand Shanghai dialect, so he said helplessly, "We are from Beijing."

The nanny called again, "Director, there are two country people from Beijing looking for you." Faint

dead! Those two guys earn more than 1 thousand a month.

23. On a summer evening, our brothers strolled by a construction worker's

site, and a brother wearing a rotten white vest and sandals was slow to walk.

One person fell behind, then a kind migrant worker walked over and patted him on the shoulder and said,

"Hey, it's time for dinner. I talked about taxation, so I cursed

the "black heart" of taxation and all kinds of bad styles. Finally, I asked what I do, and I touched my head

and said I was from the tax bureau. She suddenly fell silent. After a while, she said that the tax was ok, and the most hateful thing was the Public Security Bureau. So she said a lot of things, such as collusion between the police and robbers, waiting for the

card ... I really couldn't stand it. I pointed to my eldest brother and told her that you knew what he did. The girl was tongue-tied and asked, Can't he be from the Public Security Bureau? I nod my head. She didn't say a word until my brother and I left. Is the

image of taxation and public security so bad? I think I am quite upright.

7. Letter from the Tang Priest: Dear Wukong, I wrote this letter very slowly because I know you can't read fast. We have moved, but the address hasn't changed, because we brought the house number when we moved. It rained twice this week, the first time for 3 days, and the second time for 4 days. Yesterday, we went to buy pizza, and the clerk asked me whether to cut it into 8 pieces or 12 pieces. I said that 8 pieces would be enough, but 12 pieces could not be eaten. The coat I sent you was afraid of being overweight, so I cut off the button and put it in my pocket. Chang 'e was born, because she didn't know whether it was a man or a woman, so she didn't know whether you should be an uncle or an aunt. Finally, I wanted to send you money, but the envelope has been sealed. New Year's Day is coming, don't forget to tell the children something that happened a long time ago: at that time, the sky was blue, the water was green, crops were growing in the fields, pork was safe to eat, mice were still afraid of cats, the court was reasonable, marriage came first, the barber shop only cared about haircuts, medicine could heal the wounded and rescue the dying, doctors didn't need to sleep with the director when making movies, and clothes were needed to take pictures. Schools don't want to make money, idiots can't be professors, selling dog meat can't be a sheep's head, getting married can't be a MM, you have to pay for things, and you have to go to smack that if you can't finish reading it!