How long has it been since you hugged someone seriously?

Sister Xiaowen recently left her job. She is the credit review director of an internet finance company.

I asked her why she chose to leave in the middle of the year.

She said: "I didn't intend to choose now, but my mother was very ill recently and needed surgery." My father is old, too He can't take care of my mother. In fact, I never thought that I would leave Shanghai one day. Now, I finally made this decision, resigned and went home to take care of my mother, then found a job in my hometown and married myself by the way. "

Sister Xiaowen, a native of Hubei, studied law at a university in Wuhan, and went to work in a bank in Shanghai after graduation. After five or six years, I changed my credit card to another bank for review. I just joined the internet finance company and left it not long after.

This year, Sister Xiaowen is 33 years old. She has had two fruitless relationships. She has been in Shanghai for more than ten years, and she has always believed that she will not leave the biggest city in China.

People wandering in first-tier cities all have the same fate: half are burning and the other half are barren.

Once the top gun, once the lover, has faded away in time, the future is getting closer and closer, but the body is tired and confused, running in the tunnel without light, and you can't see the person who walks with you.

Sister Xiaowen said: "I like Shanghai's youth, speed and passion, but I am no longer young, and I am getting old. I think I have bloomed before, but I still want to return to the soil. My parents are old in my hometown, and now my mother is seriously ill. I think I should go back. I suddenly have a question for you. How long has it been since you hugged someone seriously? That kind of hard hug I miss this feeling very much. I seem to rarely hug my parents. "

Hearing the last sentence, I was hit in the heart in an instant.

How long has it been? Probably, a long time!

In my memory, I hugged my good friends, brothers and my girlfriend, but it seems that I haven't hugged my parents since I can remember.

I was born in the countryside in central Henan. The simplicity of rural people makes the expression of feelings more restrained. I have never called my parents "mom and dad". There is only one word for stingy. I call my father "Bai" and my mother "Mom".

In our country, fathers are also called "Dad", "Uncle" and "Da", and mothers are also called "Niang".

My father is a heavy smoker. He loves smoking very much. He can smoke one or two boxes of cigarettes a day. This may be inherited from my grandfather and grandmother, who both smoke, and my grandmother smokes more than my grandfather. It is said that my grandmother is the landlord's daughter. She was very delicate when she was a child and learned to smoke at an early age.

When my brother and I were young, my mother taught us not to smoke like your uncle, but to learn something good! Our two brothers are very obedient, so we stand with my mother and often refute my father and ask him to smoke less. However, my father can't give up smoking at all. He said he didn't like drinking. People always have some hobbies. He just likes listening to songs on the radio and smoking!

Later, when I came out to work and called home, I would still persuade him to smoke less, but when I really went back to my hometown, I would still secretly buy him a Yuxi. My mother knew she was unhappy, but he patted me on the shoulder and smiled. I told my mother, don't be angry, I gave grandpa and grandpa red envelopes.

I often tell my father that my mother can marry him because he has been blessed for generations. I opened their marriage certificate, and the wedding photos in the late 1980s were still in black and white.

The father in the photo is black and thin, like a monkey that has been hungry for several days. My mother is white and pure, with eyebrows like spring mountains and eyes like autumn water. In the present words, it can really be described as a "goddess".

My mother is nearly 1.7 meters tall and is the tallest woman in our community. That's why she told me and my brother that you two would never find a girlfriend lower than your mother. I smiled and said, mom, you are asking too much!

My mother didn't enjoy this blessing when she married my father. With my brother, it became more and more crowded in the old family house. Grandpa and I can only live separately, but there is no spare house at home. My parents made their own mud on the bank of Shahe River in the east of the village, poured bricks with molds, and then burned brick kilns with wheat straw. The concrete plot is similar to the brick kiln burned by Sun Shaoan in Ordinary World, but it is not as big as his brick kiln factory, with only one hole.

Later, the house at home was built, and the front eaves of blue bricks and flat tiles became popular in my hometown within half a year. After a year or so, two-story and three-story buildings became popular.

I finally moved into a new home, but my mother was overdrawn because of burning bricks to build a house before, and she was hospitalized urgently. Then I invited a client and a famous doctor in Fiona Fang dozens of miles away to operate on my mother, just to save my life.

I haven't seen my mother for a day or two. I didn't know my mother was in hospital until I asked my grandparents.

When an uncle, a close relative of my grandfather's family, went to visit my mother in the city, I took his tractor to the hospital. The back of the tractor is full of my uncles and grandmothers (my mother has several uncles, so there are more grandmothers). When I arrived at the hospital, I saw many familiar and unfamiliar relatives chatting with my mother, or standing or sitting in her ward.

My mother is lying in the hospital bed, her lips and teeth are white and she looks very weak. She's still receiving a blood transfusion. That was the first time I saw a blood bag. There is still a lot of blood on the ground, and the indoor air smells like fish, which scares me inexplicably.

At that time, I was in the third grade of primary school, and I felt so close to death for the first time.

I learned later that I almost lost my mother.

My grandfather gave our family some money to support us, because we were building a house and my mother was in hospital. In fact, there was not much money, and my uncle and Zhang Zi missed it. My uncle is very kind, and my father helps him farm when he is busy with farming. Unfortunately, my nephew is noisy and my uncle has bronchitis. They always thought that my grandparents were partial to that girl, but in fact, my grandfather worked hard for my uncle all his life.

Later, we planted tobacco leaves at home and asked my uncle to ask relatives of the Zhang family to help sell them. As a result, the tobacco leaves were sold, but my uncle refused to give us money. So, my father took my mother to ask my uncle for money. As a result, my uncle and Zhang Zi refused to give it, and finally turned against each other. Besides, my uncle and they don't even care about my grandparents.

Sometimes when you think about things in the countryside, there are many entanglements: money and pension.

After I broke up with my uncle, I always advised my mother to let go. At that time, she sat on the bed crying and kept wiping her tears. Later, my father came back, held my mother's shoulder and blamed me: "What did you say to my mother?" ! Can't let her cry less! "As a result, my mother stopped crying.

Until now, when I see a girl crying, I will be at a loss and don't know how to comfort each other. I still don't seem to have learned.

My father is a very good cook. When he was young, he learned from our local old chef. Many relatives in the nearby villages will invite him to cook at red and white wedding banquets. However, our family seldom eats his cooking. Usually my mother cooks, and only when guests come occasionally will she cook some good dishes.

When I go home during the Spring Festival, I always take a look and want to learn from my father. He always said, you can't be a knife. It's no use just looking if you want to learn well.

In fact, all the money in our family is managed by my mother, but my mother always says that my father is in charge and my father says that my mother is in charge. As a result, what two people say is wrong, which often makes the people who hear it laugh.

My father loves smoking, so it costs a lot of money to smoke. My mother always hides money in a very inconspicuous corner, but some places are easy to see through, such as sheets at the bottom of the box, socks, pages, bed roots and so on.

I said, mom, in some places, you hide it too clearly. She smiled: "I asked him to find some money on purpose, otherwise he would die of anxiety if he had no money to smoke!" " "

My mother sometimes goes to town to buy some clothes for my father, and my father cuts a few kilograms of pork accordingly and cooks braised pork for my mother. In spring, in my spare time, my father will take my mother to visit the temple fair on a motorcycle.

I have four aunts, all of whom have been married for a long time. My uncle is a soldier and has served in the air force for more than ten years. He participated in the Tiananmen parade in 1999 and 2009, and was later transferred to a district public security bureau in Tianjin. Now I have bought a house and a car, got married, and my children are in junior high school. My uncle is away all the year round, and it is basically my dad's business to take care of his grandparents at home. Every time I go to the temple fair in Pangushan County, my father will drive a tractor with his grandparents, mother and neighbors in the village to the town, and then transfer to the bus to climb the mountain in Pangushan County to worship the ancestors and watch the temple fair.

My father is very open-minded about the education of my brother and me, but when I was a child, I was naughty and disobedient, and I would spank my two brothers with a belt. Later, when I grew up, my father never hit us again.

I remember when I was in high school, I asked him, what should I do if I can't get into college?

He said very simply, if he failed the exam, he would come back to farm!

I know what it's like to face the loess and face the sky. I have been working in the farmland since I was a child.

One hot afternoon in summer, a family was picking tobacco leaves in a tobacco field, and the air was transpiration to smoke by the heat wave. Suddenly, the sky suddenly changed, dark clouds came like horses, and heavy rain poured down, stinging the skin of scalp, shoulders and back.

We will continue picking in the rain, because we will race against time with God to finish picking mature tobacco leaves in the field as soon as possible. Heavy rain and strong wind will ravage tobacco leaves and appear small holes, which will affect the baking and final sales of tobacco leaves.

Wet clothes stick to the skin and feel like being wrapped in wet sticky octopus. The black layer of cigarette oil on the hand, accidentally rubbed on the eyes, is burning pain, making people unable to open their eyes.

It is precisely because of my disgust and fear of the tiredness and boredom of farming that I really pay more attention to learning. Maybe he was stupid, but later he just passed a very ordinary second book in the provincial capital.

When I received the college notice, I asked my father, what if I really can't get into college?

He said, "If you don't pass the exam, you won't pass it!" ! Repeat until you are admitted! "

"Didn't you say you let me farm at home? ! "I was shocked and choked up.

"I didn't mean to break your back and burn your bridges!" That face, whose skin is tanned by the sun, has a smile in the corner of her eyes and a hint of cunning.

Some people say that the biggest dream of a father in the world is to realize his children's dreams.

My father didn't want me and my brother to go back to the old road, so my brother and I went further and further, and now we are not in our hometown.

20 14 During the Spring Festival, I went back to my hometown from Shanghai.

It snowed heavily that winter, probably because of the cold weather. I had a slight cough.

Actually, it's not a cold, it's an involuntary cough. If you don't cough, you will feel uncomfortable. My mother suspected that there was something wrong with my bronchus and asked my father to take me to the town hospital. I said it doesn't matter, it doesn't hurt or itch. My father refused, left the mahjong table and insisted that I go with him.

The road was blocked by heavy snow, and the motorcycle at home could not get on the road at all. My father had to make me walk to town with his ass.

It was snowing heavily and the wind was blowing hard. My father's feet crunched in the snow, leaving a string of footprints.

Just like when I was a child, I habitually put my feet in his footprints, only to find that my father's footprints could no longer hold my feet.

I always thought I was a child before, and at that moment, I realized that I had grown up.

My father turned to ask me what my future plans were.

His nose is red with cold, like a shiny carrot.

My hands are shaking with cold, and my voice is shaking. Make some money first!

Later, when I talked about getting married and having children, I said that if I didn't have time to take care of my children after marriage, I would leave my children in my hometown and let two old people take care of them.

He was unhappy and said, "Your mother and I can take care of the children, but we can't leave them at home all the time! The poor living environment and educational conditions at home will make children stupid! The environment in which children grow up is very important. I must let my grandson grow up in the city. "

I am very happy that my father has a broader vision than me.

I sometimes wonder if this is my life and I can't do anything big.

But perhaps, if you can be with the people you love and like, watching the clouds in the sky and listening to the wind in your ears, as long as you are happy, you can't live up to anything!

I don't want to be anyone, and I don't want to be anyone.

I just want to close my eyes and embrace the past time, those people and flowers I love most, those bitterness and loneliness, tears and laughter, true feelings and happiness!

I am the most ordinary person, I am Xu Shaohan, and I am myself!

The sunshine in Shanghai is very good, enjoy it with you.