Flirting with boys

1, tell you a story. Once upon a time, there was an idiot. He is so stupid that when people ask him questions, he only answers "No". Have you heard this story?

2. You can better reflect people's shortcomings than a mirror, and you are more knowledgeable than Zhuangzi and grandson, so people affectionately call you the grandson of Jingzhuang.

After all, I can't catch up with that BMW, so I can only watch it die in the sunset. It's not that my engine is broken, but that my chain has fallen off.

4, a river spring water a Jiang Tao, a mountain is higher than a mountain. Send a message to the straw bag, the straw bag must take out his mobile phone, take out his mobile phone and look down, and find himself an idiot.

When you saw this message, I was quietly thinking about you in a corner of the world, what you were doing, and whether you were thinking about me.

6. Are you lonely? You can chat with the puppy; Are you bored? You can jump down from upstairs and sit down. I hope you can get the ultimate happiness and happiness.

7. Everyone wants to chase beautiful women, but not all beautiful women can chase them. Otherwise, you won't be demoted to the wrong place for chasing beautiful women, will you, Bajie?

8. Tips for life: According to the research of odorists, when others fart, you don't have to cover your nose, just take three deep breaths, and you won't know it stinks after five minutes.

9. I've always wanted to say two words to you, but I finally got up the courage today: First, I love you and I like you very much; The second sentence, never take the first sentence seriously.

10, urgent order: those who want money but have no money, those who want talent and have no looks, have been listed as "three noes". You must leave the city within 24 hours after receiving the order, or hell to pay!

1 1, family Shunzhi, life Kangxi, personality Yongzheng, thriving career, everything Jiaqing, bright future, wealth and Xianfeng, internal and external governance, Qian Qiu Guangxu, celebrate the whole world!

12. once upon a time, there were four monkeys The first one was blindfolded. The second one just covered his mouth and stopped talking. The third one stopped listening. The fourth one smiled with a mobile phone!

13, sometimes persistence is also a burden and a kind of pain, but it is easy to give up, so I don't want to chase you anymore, just hide in the mosquito net, so you won't bite me!

14. urgent notice: polygamy will be resumed from now on. If monogamy is still practiced after two weeks, it shall be sentenced to fixed-term imprisonment of not less than six months but not more than three years and shall also be fined.

15, the breeze and the moon are together, and I want to hold your hand. Take a walk on the edge of the West Lake, roar on the Yellow Crane Tower, look inside and outside the Great Wall, and twist on the Avenue of Stars. To my favorite dog!

16, sad! Trapped by another problem. I'm worried. I don't want to eat or drink these days. I said, help me. See what this means: "Pigs are good at reading."

17, the sky is blue and the sea is salty. Missing your heart is not fake! The land is wide and the trees are long. Loving you is not just the arrival of cold and summer! But why did you leave me? Wang Cai!

18, the falling raindrops are tears of missing, and the falling snowflakes are frozen tears. My friend, I will never forget you who once sucked your fingers and wet the bed, hehe.

19, I see you: a slave, with drooping hands, bright triangular eyes, four eyes staring, unsmooth facial features, six gods wearing yin, eight or two small heads, nine yellow beards, very unlike people.

20. If you don't work on Labor Day, you are ignoring social regulations! I'm not threatening you, please treat me to dinner quickly! Or I'll post your phone number on the street: all-night hotline! Take care of the rice.

2 1, Mochow has no bosom friend in the road ahead, and all countries are neighbors. Looking at the bright moon in the distance, I miss my hometown thousands of miles away. There is no doubt that the mountains are heavy and the water is heavy. Take out your mobile phone and have one-it's going to rain, so close your clothes quickly!

22. The mouse calls the cat: Hello! The meal is ok! Come down, Missy! The cat lay prone on the mouse hole and stretched out its front paws to take the mouse out. Pants, pants paid all night, and paid the same sound the next day.

23. Since I met you, you should know your place in my heart. Except for you, everyone else is a pile of shit in my eyes, but you are different, because you … are two piles.

24. Your face is as beautiful as a flower, and your docile personality is as lovely as a kitten. You should make me feel that I finally know why people say you are not human.

25. Are you full today? Did you sleep well? Will it be cold late at night? I really want to be by your side quietly. I know you never take care of yourself. Whenever I leave, you jump out of the pigsty!

26. Today, there are many talented people, such as geniuses, scholars and talented people, that is, wood, matches and things that should not have come. At first glance, you are gone. Don't look at the information, fool.

27. The butterfly said to the bee: You are so stingy, pretending to be full of sweet words but refusing to give me a word. The bee said: Hum! Besides, you have two antennas on your head. Why didn't you text me?

28. Living without happiness as the goal is nonsense. Love that doesn't end in marriage will break up sooner or later. It's best not to do a job that doesn't reward a raise. Who will read information that doesn't take flirting as an idea!

29. You stepped on a pile of shit as soon as you went out. You said: I was lucky today and didn't go far. You said: It's a lucky day. You smelled it and then sighed: It's a pity that people pulled it!

30. Seven precepts after meals: First, quit smoking; Second, give up eating fruit immediately; Third, stop loosening your belt; Drink tea immediately under temptation; Fifth, quit; Sixth, quit bathing immediately; Seventh, stop sleeping immediately! Bajie: Do you remember?

3 1, the legend of Cupid: one arrow through the heart represents love at first sight, two arrows through the heart represent wishful thinking, and three arrows through the heart represent three lucky lives. I am shooting an arrow at you. Small sample, you just wait to become a hedgehog!

32. You are really cold these two days. You must take care of yourself. Don't freeze-as the saying goes, people freeze their legs and pigs freeze their mouths. I have put on my pants, so you should buy a mask quickly.

33. You said you couldn't stay with me to keep warm and live without food and clothing. I had to bury my pain in my heart and silently wish you "Huang, come back when you have no meat."

34. Xiaoli shows off to Ahua: You are usually rustic and have never seen a famous brand! Look at my new schoolbag, it's LV! Ahua deadpans: My pinyin is not good. Is this word pronounced "donkey"?

35. Scissors are used to shave hair, combs are used to comb hair, and hair dryers are used to blow hair; Singing is for showing off, makeup is for taking pictures, and as for you ... alas, just to be a knife head.

36. Hey, almost everyone uses a keyboard instead of a pen now. In fact, typing with a keyboard will have a strange thing. If you don't believe me, look at your keyboard. There will be a pig hand on it!

37, you go! Find someone worthy of your love … I don't know you well enough. I know that some things can't be forced and some distances can't be crossed. Just like yesterday, I really can't believe you left with someone else for a bone.

38. I have liked you since I was a child, and I have never left you since I was a child. However, your flu completely changed my mind. Sorry, I dare not eat pork these days.

39. If you are a genius, I worship you; If you are a generalist, I will learn from you; If you are a wizard, I envy you; If you are a talented person, I recommend you; But you are a fool, I can only lie to you!

40. I have too much of you, and I have been hurt too much. I really want to get rid of it. There is no happiness with you. How can I stand your pestering? Please, leave me alone-hateful troubles.

4 1, the tour guide gushed: this cultural palace was built by my father and he also designed the * * building. Just as the tour guide was talking, a tourist interrupted him and said, I see, your father killed him!

42. In order to consolidate our friendship, narrow the gap between the east and the west, curb the disparity between the rich and the poor, put an end to social division, stabilize social order and promote survival ... lend me 200 yuan!

43. My girlfriend lost weight several times and failed. She asked me for advice and sent a short message after thinking hard. "Friend, want to lose weight? If you like, then talk about a lovelorn. " Be beaten.

44. The dog smiled at the pig. The pig asked inexplicably, why do you laugh when you see me? The dog couldn't help laughing. See how stupid you are, and learn to play with your mobile phone and read short messages. Would you?

45. Do you know what today is? Look at mobile phone text messages. Weather forecast: It will rain in most parts of North China during the day tomorrow, and mobile phones, computers, dollars and other currencies will fall with the rain through satellite detection. Please be prepared to get rich!

46. Whether you miss me or not, my heart is with you and I will never leave you. Whether you follow me or not, my belief is firm. Come to me, or let me come to you. Pay the bill, I like it in my heart.

47. It is said that when you pay back the money you owe others, the rest will be yours. I suddenly found that I still owe you a short message, so I must return it to you now, and then a good friend like you will be mine!

48. Don't read and receive short messages on your mobile phone for the last month because a virus has been found on the short message network. Remember! The virus is "because of the virus found in the SMS network, don't read and receive SMS on your mobile phone for nearly a month, remember!"

49. In my eyes, you always look carefree, you always eat with relish, you always sleep soundly ... I envy you, alas, sometimes I think it's good to be a pig like you!

You have a kind heart, and you will selflessly help everyone in the world who needs help. Everyone says that you are an angel from heaven to help others. Unfortunately, your face landed first!

5 1, water may not be drinkable-salary; A horse may not be able to ride-flattery; Life is not necessarily capable-life; Letters don't have to be in paper-short messages; Send you a short message, I hope you stupid child can learn more new terms!

You often say that I can do anything, but when I saw your girlfriend the other day, you stabbed me twice. You often say that you can help me empty my wallet, but that day your girlfriend said she was short of money, so you took my wallet!

53. One day I went exploring with you, and I met a troll. He sniffed me and you, and then decided to eat me. I don't think it's fair. I asked him why, and he said, "I am Hui, and I don't eat pork."

54. Chickens' eggs are called eggs, zero in the exam is called duck eggs, empty pockets are called poor people, bad guys are called bad guys, and explosions are called * *. If you look at this sentence, you are an asshole. If you are angry, you are an idiot. Laughing again is a big idiot!

55. The German Planetarium decided to name the newly discovered comet after you and your lover. For the convenience of China people, I will give you two German names: Johnny and Nader. And this new comet is called Jonnard!

56. On the bus, a young man saw a beautiful woman with a low collar, and spring leaked out. He joked,' It's really a place where peach blossoms bloom.' Hearing this, the beauty lifted her skirt and said, "There is also a place where you were born and raised."

57. A letter of accusation against those who don't reply to the message: This kind of behavior is inhuman and impolite, which is a disgrace to all messengers and should be punished. Based on this, if you don't reply to the information in the future, you will be given the title.

58. You get up in the middle of the night to relieve yourself and forget to turn on the light. You accidentally fell into the toilet and struggled to make a heroic sacrifice. When the news reached Beijing, the chairman was shocked and wrote an inscription: Life is absurd, and death is cowardice!

59. One day, the pig gave the donkey a difficult problem and asked which of the two bugs under the word "stupid" was male and which was female. The donkey racked his brains, but he still couldn't answer. Pig scolds: You are such an ass.

60. I miss you with the most beautiful mood, remember you with the sweetest smile, look at you with the purest eyes, and bless you with the most sincere heart. Then, then. I hit you with the biggest stone. Who told you not to remember to text me?

6 1, you found someone worthy of your love. I don't know you and your feelings well enough. I know that some things can't be forced and some distances can't be crossed. Just like yesterday, I can't believe you ran off with someone else for a bone!

62. I am gentle and considerate to you. A drop of wine makes you intoxicated; The delicious part keeps your stomach healthy. I'm waiting for your date by the river. I cast so many baits. Fish, why don't you take the bait?

I know I can't catch up with you. With so many people chasing you, I must be hopeless. Forget it. Some things can't be forced. Give the opportunity to others. Anyway, catching up with you is for the people! You still run, little mouse!

64. The US military offered a reward for the capture of Al Qaeda elements, but the two men searched in the desert for months without success. One night, a man woke up from a dream and found himself surrounded by more than 200 gunmen. He hurriedly called his partner: "Get up, we are rich!" "

According to the most mysterious information in China, a new virus has invaded the city. When you receive this message, you have been infected. From now on, you will fall into happiness and suffer from happiness forever!

Nowadays, the competition in this society is fierce, and everyone is too busy to stop like a top. It is normal to have pressure and dissatisfaction. I'm desperate to let you vent your pressure. Come on! Let it out! Hit me hard with your money

67, () for a long time, () fighting, () getting rich, () swearing; (1) Birds fly first, (2) misfortune and happiness are at dusk, (3) freedom, (3) freedom. Fill in the blanks and read the first word together. It was fun.

68. I have good news and bad news. The good news is that I'm taking a roast duck to your house! The bad news is that a dog accidentally caught up with him and took the roast duck. The person next to you said that the dog belongs to your family! You owe me a roast duck!

69. On a red day and blue sky, farmers rushed into the cinema to watch the third-grade film excitedly, and their angry shouts shook the earth. The village chief came to ask what was going on, and the farmer said, "People who read short messages are not stars, and we won't pay if we are killed."

70. Monkey sent me a message telling my second brother that there are three main steps to cultivate Bai Gujing: first, to become a white-collar worker, second, to become a backbone, and third, to become an elite. Brother Monkey said he hoped his second brother would be happy when he saw the letter! Keep in touch!

7 1. If we go back in time, we will all go back to childhood. I will definitely play with you, play hide-and-seek with you, catch fish in the river, make you cry, and then pat your little face to make you laugh. Then I'll hit you.

72. I dreamed of you last night. You have 1 charming eyes and burning lips. Holding 3 in my heart makes me lose my mind. Your charming five officials make me lose my mind. A heart with seven ups and eight downs has made me unforgettable for a long time. I said 10, and sent it to the wrong person.

Over the years, thank you for your silent company. Cold weather gives me warmth, hot weather is not too wet and salty, and always accommodates me and tolerates my shortcomings. Although there are flaws, you still don't dislike me. I miss your smell! Old socks.

74. It is said that cats sleep ten hours a day, play by themselves for four hours, stay in a daze for four hours, be teased for four hours, eat and drink for one hour, and read text messages for the last hour. Don't believe it? Look, the cat is reading the short message again.

75. Good news: housing prices remain high, and housing supply and demand continue to be tight. After many inquiries, I finally found a cheap house for sale. Well ventilated, warm in winter and cool in summer. Good lighting, urban thermocline structure. Address: the second bridge of Chengnan Interchange.

76. It's been a long night, and I don't want to sleep. I thought I was the only one who couldn't sleep, so neither can you, girl! Might as well go out for a walk. Relax your breath, pay attention to the mist in the distance, and give the yellow heart to the running water. See you in the bathroom!

77. I don't want to lament the changes in the world, nor do I want to wait for the unknown growth. In this journey, we learned to be strong and independent. You should take care of yourself without me. It's very cold. Stop using socks as handkerchiefs.

78. It's hard for me to calm down in this hot and cold season. I always miss you in the distance. I would like to keep a homing pigeon and let it fly to you every day, even if all I can do is a simple action: pull a shit on your head!

79. A lazy cat went crazy after a mouse and finally got married. After marriage, the cat took care of the mouse in every way, and the mouse soon became fat. The mouse was very moved: "Dear, why are you so kind to me?" The cat smiled and said, "You'll know when you get fat!

80. Don't panic when you meet a dog on the road. Fight it bravely. There will only be three results: first, you win, you are better than the dog; Second, if you lose, you are even worse than a dog; Third, you are even. You are like a dog.

8 1 Wang was sitting on the bus on a business trip when suddenly his legs began to itch. He scratched his leg for a while, but it was still itchy. He scratched it again. A lady in the next seat turned to him and asked him, Brother, why do you always grab my leg?

82. Today, I met an idiot. I said, idiot, are you stupid? Idiot said: not stupid. I said, idiot, can you? Idiot said: ok. I said: will the idiot receive my message and not finish reading it? Idiot read my message and said, no!

83. Blessing is a kind of enjoyment in the heart, greeting is a kind of care of friends, short message is a way of communication, and mobile phone is a tool of life. Sending you greetings by SMS can definitely reflect a life attitude.

84. Kindly remind: If it is a flower, it must bloom brilliantly and make spring jealous; If it is grass, it should thrive and be envied by green trees; If you are cute, you should eat fatter and let the owner sell more money! Remember to eat more!