Classic funny sentences in 2020

School is hell. The headmaster is Yan, the dean is a judge, the teacher keeps a book of life and death, and the student union is a kid.

2, the weather is too hot! In order to prevent my back from being burned in bed, I turn over every hour before going to bed.

3. Friends are like RMB, which is true and false. Unfortunately, I'm not a money detector. My friend, I only want quality, not quantity.

4, get up early for school and get sick, suddenly want to study. Then I washed my face and woke up a lot. Yeah, playing mobile phone.

If you are hurt, not only my heart is hurting, but also my heart can't bear your blow to anything.

6. Grandpa said that in their time, when there was a question that they couldn't do in the exam, they wrote Long live Chairman Mao, and no one dared to cross it.

7. Love is a glass of wine. We hold it carefully to the person we love. He accidentally spilled it, so I mixed it with water.

8. Feet are easy to get cold because the legs are too long and the altitude is too high for blood supply. Finally found the reason why my feet are cold for so many years.

9. My father is a myth. Even if you lose all your teeth, I can take you to the hot spot.

10, it doesn't matter what you are, don't care about the gossip outside, after all, I have a man who loves and pampers me.

1 1 When I have money, I will sell two Mercedes-Benz and a bicycle first. Mercedes-Benz will clear the way on both sides and ride a bike in the middle.

12, the vast land is broken with one sword. Where is the prosperity? Leaning against the clouds hides loneliness, even if others laugh at me.

13, the third grade left, the second grade went to hell, the first grade went to prison, and the sixth grade looked forward to junior high school life like a fool.

14, I love you, and I will never forget you. If there is someone more handsome than you in the future, of course, it is another matter.

15, if you ever have a crush on a girl, I will propose to you. You shouldn't slaughter her, but you should kill her.

16, look at you and you will know that you are the crystallization of love between donkey and horse.

17, there is no incurable pain, no endless sinking, and all lost things will come back in another way.

18, it's not your grades that will move you for a lifetime, but those days when you are going to collapse and persist.

19, I always felt that something was stuck in * *, so I dug out half of Flammulina velutipes and gave it to the landlord without stint.

20. The electric fan is man's best friend. I asked the electric fan, am I ugly? The electric fan shook its head silently all night.

2 1. You didn't see how many good things you did all year round. It's rare to steal the chicken and touch the dog twice in a hundred years, but you caught them all red-handed

22. If you don't love, roll, or if you don't believe, die! I believe you, because I only love you, and you don't believe me, because you don't love me!

No one can control your life, but many times we need more courage to strengthen our choices.

24. After watching Transformers 4, when Optimus Prime fell, why didn't the young man with Oreo show up?

25. The so-called deep love means that you have me and I have you. It turns out that one person is not as happy as two people.

26. I always feel that the bed is too neat, which means spending my old age safely. Well, it's still messy and energetic.

27, suddenly found that I have lost so many people around me; It turns out that some people, unconsciously, played down their relationship.

28. Journey to the West tells us that all monsters with backstage were taken away, and those without backstage were killed by a stick.

Every time I want to find someone to accompany me, I find that some people can't find it, some people shouldn't, and some people can't.

30. The next time someone calls me fat, I will retort. The fat man has lost weight. What about ugly people like you?

3 1. Some people say that I don't talk or communicate with her on QQ. How should I think? As long as you don't mate, how to communicate will do!

32. Since you made a smart decision to like me, it seems that the whole person has begun to shine with wisdom.

33. Every time I go shopping, many people send me small advertisements and leaflets. Alas, this is me, I am so beautiful.

Don't judge my appearance, because I don't live by my face, and don't judge my virtue, because you are not nobler than me.

35. Go after them if you like. No matter whether they have boyfriends or not, the team has a goalkeeper. I thought the ball was still there!

36. All the questions in the world can be answered by "none of your business" and "none of my business". Suddenly I feel so busy.

37. You smile so ugly that your tears keep falling. Finally, I asked a sentence. That's naughty. Why doesn't he come back to deal with this matter?

38. From spring to winter, I waited until I could write your name on the glass window, but it was right in the eyes of the class teacher.

Everyone calls your name, but only one person can make your name sound so special.

40. My computer and I have the same language. When I am gentle with it, it will collapse. Makes me extremely excited.

4 1, I have to think about three big questions every day: 1, what to eat in the morning. 2. What to eat at noon. 3. What to eat in the evening.

42, female man = being a daughter+eating like a mountain+carrying your own luggage+a bunch of gay friends+Nima mouth hanging+lying in the trough is a daily life.

43, riding a white horse, not necessarily a prince, may be Tang Yan; Those with wings may not be angels, but bird people.

44. No matter how beautiful a brother's woman is, she won't touch it, and no matter how handsome a girlfriend's man is, she won't grab it. You can do it, you know. If not, get out.

45, breaking up is not love, those high-sounding reasons, not to make each other feel better, but to make themselves feel better!

46. You are either mentally ill or physically handicapped. I am very healthy. I may be a pervert. Yeah, I'm a super pervert.

47. There are only two kinds of mathematical proof questions, one is "lying in the trough can also prove" and the other is "lying in the trough can also prove".

48. There are some unspeakable secrets in a person's life. Irretrievable regret, unreachable dream, unforgettable love.

49. I dare not tell you all my emotions, because all my emotions are related to you, and speaking them out is like expressing my love for you.

50. Love plus love equals great love, love minus love equals the starting point of love, love is multiplied by infinite love, and love minus love equals the only love.

5 1, a kind person like me usually negotiates with every grain of rice before slowly putting it into his mouth.

Your age and IQ don't match at all. Judging from your IQ, I think you are so young. Already 00 years old!

53. There is a connection between people. Miss a little every day, and persist in accumulating feelings to nourish feelings.

54. A woman who knows how to show weakness can win a man's heart; Only a woman who dares to be strong can win the respect of men.

55. The teacher always teaches us to take care of trees, but I want to tell you, teacher, that trees seem to have been made into test papers.

Give me your bank account number and I'll pay you back now-I was deeply moved by this message.

57. Every dormitory has a snorer, a molar, a talker in his sleep, and a sleeper who watches the audience.

58. What makes us unhappy are trivial things. We can avoid an elephant, but we can't avoid a fly.

The only thing I feel sad is that I am not strong enough, and I am not strong enough for you to be fearless when you support me.

60. There are no snacks at home, so I go shopping in the heavy rain. Anyway, in my heart, eating is the biggest.

6 1, I know that from now on, you will continue to be strong without my city. I will heal in a city without you.

The most touching thing in the world is not that I can give up the whole world for you, but that I can give up World of Warcraft for you.

63. Age is the length of life, knowledge is the density of life, will is the intensity of life, and dreams are the height of life.

64. I should tear off the label of "national inspection-free products" on the refrigerator and stick it on my summer homework.

65. Actually, find a boyfriend. There is no need to choose a long and handsome one. As long as you are cute and willing to make fun of you, that's enough.

I am very happy because I have a good girlfriend and a good husband. Although we will be embarrassed, we will not be apart.

67. Give me a woman and I can create a country; Give me a bottle of wine and I will lead them to conquer the world!

68. Being angry is my habit, being crazy is my freedom, ignoring others is my specialty, and being too arrogant is my hobby.

69. If I really give you some sunshine, you will be brilliant, right? You don't know why the flowers are so red, unless you are scolded by a dog!

70. If you feel lonely, turn off the light and put on a movie. After a while, you will feel that you are not alone.

7 1, you can't insult Zhou Zhenglong's wisdom too much, at least he doesn't have a leaf, and then he calls himself the South China Tiger!

72. In a few days, elementary school and junior high school will be the world after 00. If you dominate primary and secondary schools, you will feel old in an instant.

When I was born, God asked me whether I should have a good memory or be handsome. I have forgotten what I answered at that time.

74. If you can't lie to me for a lifetime, please don't lie. Even if you can't love for a lifetime, please don't love, even for a moment.

75. The teacher found smoking and refused to admit it. The teacher said, then what's the smell of smoke on you? I said: body fragrance.

76, riding a white horse is not necessarily a prince, he may be a Tang priest; The one with wings is not necessarily an angel, he may be a bird man.

77. Nana asked Jason if he would find * *, and Jiege said it would depend on who it was. If it weren't for you, you would have been my * *.

78. I originally wanted to thin into a flash of lightning and light up your eyes; Unexpectedly, fat has become a nut, blocking your view.

79. What I was most afraid of when I was a child was not dreaming that I couldn't find the toilet. Is that people haven't wake up, the toilet has been found.

80. Hold your head high, throw away snacks, put down your mobile phone, dry your tears, and stop bothering yourself, girl, you still have a future.

8 1, philandering and practicing brains, being in a good mood to cheat, picking up girls to fight aging, flirting to solve troubles, unrequited love, and being less sleepy.

82. To marry a wife should be to marry Xiao Shao, to make friends should be to make friends, and it is best to be a man in Qiao Feng and Wei Xiaobao.

83. The most painful thing in the world is not the parting of life and death, but the coming exam. Others are reviewing, and I am previewing.

84. Don't dislike ugly girls with ponytails around them. Because you don't know how beautiful she is when she takes off the rubber band.

85. The furthest distance in the world is not between life and death, but in the dark night, there is no electricity in my house, but my neighbors are brightly lit.

86. In class, one of my classmates sent me a note. When I saw the content, I really wanted to beat him up. It says, "Are you there?" .

87. Nothing has changed since my trip except what I should do.

88. There are only two kinds of mathematical proof questions, one is lying in the trough, which is also used to prove, and the other is lying in the trough, which can also prove.

89. We sincerely pray that there will be only a lot of bonuses at the end of the year; The emotional commitment of the leader: there is only a little work in the new year.

90. If I want to sweep the floor, I will never wash the dishes. If I want to wash the dishes, I will never sweep the floor. Both? You think I'm an alien!

9 1, everyone has done obscene things; When you are playing computer, parents always go to the computer and cut to the desktop to refresh.

92. * * * * Women's Manifesto. Piano, chess, painting and calligraphy are not good, and washing and cooking are too tiring. Refuse to have children and pay for sex.

93. Don't make any promises easily. I'm afraid that nothing will come true in the end and it will eventually become a ridiculous lie.

In this harmonious society, primary school students celebrate Valentine's Day, middle school students celebrate Singles Day and college students celebrate Children's Day.

95. I am here to shout in a low-key way that I have no time to participate in your past and I don't want to participate in your future.

96. Some people say. Sometimes you need to put yourself in others' shoes. I think winter vacation is a good opportunity. Teacher, let's go somewhere else.

97. You derive the function, go back a little, multiply, and then come back. Have you considered the feeling of the function?

98. It's naive to fall in love with someone just by chatting. Mature and wise people know that you have to look through the photo album.

99. I thought the tiger photo was real, but as soon as I heard it was true, I immediately knew it was fake!

100, don't take your woman seriously. One day, another man will thank you for not understanding her.

10 1. When the sun is shining, I will think of you. After all, no one can give me a warmer intuition than the sun.

102, the headmaster's adult, discuss it, let the children's shoes with objects go to school first, and talk about it later if they don't!

103, people who come for your surface will also come for other surfaces. Only those who come for your heart will last.

104, sometimes I really want to forget you and only remember the world. However, I often forget the whole world and only remember you.

105, at that time, young people were unwilling to be lonely, mistakenly thinking that exercise was torture, and the right person would eventually come because they had made enough mistakes.

106, dear user's warm reminder: You haven't contacted your sweetheart for an hour, so be careful what she does.

107, every time you are mean to me, I think there is something wrong with you. I'm so cute, you can lose your temper and be speechless!

108, insufficient brain capacity? You have done a shameful thing yourself, and you are not ashamed to blame me. I am ashamed.

109. Love is music: first love is light music, passionate love is rock music, marriage is pop music, and divorce is pop music.

1 10 Please don't always think about how unforgettable you will be. I will never forget the past, not you. Please make it clear.

1 1 1. I'm degraded and I can't swim until now. You know, before I was born, I was definitely the fastest swimmer.