100 minutes is urgent! ! ! Waiting online. Ask Dan Tianfang funny story-telling jokes! ! !

I found the shortest jokes of five single teachers.

1 is a three-character scripture.

2 is the Kanto warrior.

The third is the wife, lover and confidante.

Fourthly, it is a performance to commemorate the 50th anniversary of becoming an artist.

Five is five, thirteen and eighty-one.

If you think the theme is not good, you can also imitate Dan Tianfang's sketch about weather forecast with the comic dialogue "Smart Script". Recently, a blind singer named also imitated Teacher Shan. You can learn from it.

Here are some spoken words of Mr. Shan, which can be used.

Husband and wife fly with birds, and people are proud of their good quality.

Next to the Golden Temple, Ganoderma lucidum must grow; There must be dog urine beside the toilet.

When the tournament is high and low:

Tigers on the mountain meet Shang Lu, and dragons in the clouds meet dragons in the fog.

When it comes to the number of soldiers, it will be wide:

Ten thousand people have no boundaries.

There are hundreds of thousands of people, completely connected to the sky.

When you meet a character:

Hundreds of people, all kinds (shai).

When it comes to feelings between father and son or mother and son:

Mother and son are connected, and father and son are natural.

Brothers fight, fathers and sons fight.

● Others include:

Water thieves cross the river, don't use dog planes.

The eyelashes are empty.

Asshole! Asshole, add three levels!

Jiang Yang Thief, Snitch at Sea.

Angry Chili, don't let go of garlic.

Elbows out, put down the gun and shoot inside.

What a good boy! He suffered a lot.

If you don't have enough to eat, you won't fall asleep.

I am the thief's father and mother, and I am the thief's grandson. I'm a thief myself, and the wind stinks.

Eyebrows are divided into eight colors, and eyes are Ma Xiuxing.

The Longwang Temple was flooded and the family denied it.

I really can't help it. I pulled an eight at that time.

Kill without blinking.

Talk without doing anything, eat people without shit.

Hold on, play backwards.

Adults do great things and write big words.

Ah, ah, bah!

What an asshole.

Whoo! Asshole, it's too noisy.

Fuck you.

There is a sore on the top of my head and the soles of my feet are thick and rotten.

Slippery than slippery, more ghostly than ghosts.

On the scale, it's not nearly 300 Jin.

Touch asphalt and you will be defiled.

No one often goes to the market without meeting his in-laws.

Three noses and eyes give you an extra breath.

To know what you are thinking, just listen to the voice behind you.

To get rid of hatred, draw a sword to cut the enemy.

Give five orders and the boxer will die.

Sweeping the floor doesn't hurt the life of the worm, cherish the moth yarn and shine on the lamp, and be a monk with compassion.

The tip of the tongue is more powerful than the abdomen in the tooth cavity.

Go down to the next sofa and start the land flight method.

The toilet stool faces outwards.

When the Woods are big, there are all kinds of birds.

A crock can't be broken from a well, and the general is bound to die before the battle.

Money overwhelms handmaiden's hand, and art overwhelms pedestrians.

Fart with the wind

When the bad guy died, he said, "I haven't lived enough!" " "

Which onion are you, which big clove of garlic are you!

Throw away your cheeks and lift your back teeth. This is a word. Eat!

Don't do evil in heaven. You can't live if you commit iniquity yourself!

The golden wind does not move the cicada, secretly sending impermanence to death.

Good words can't persuade damn ghosts.

Grandma Fei is full of energy

Short skirt, small dress.

Light ball torch, Pinus tabulaeformis

Take a deep breath.

Skimming, cramping, and digging your eyes into bubbles.

Son of a bitch, smelly feet wife raised land. ....

Toe on the ground and twist the upper part of the room (wall) ....

You're not afraid of the wind messing up your tongue. ...

Time flies, the sun and the moon fly!

Play the 12-character running skill of the ground combination method, swish three shakes and two shakes, and there is no trace!

The boldness of execution stems from superb skills.

Turtle green ball

Infinite Buddha

The human heart is like iron, not like iron; Official law is like a furnace, really like a furnace.

Wine is a poison that penetrates the intestines; The color is a bone scraping steel knife; Wealth is the root of trouble; Qi is a bolt from the blue.

Long drought meets rain; Meet an old friend in another country; Wedding night; When nominating the gold medal list.

The intestines are showing! What's the point of living? Dead! Dead!

Curly hair and naughty gazazi glass balls

The helmet wears armor, robe belt and armor block. Clean and tidy all over!

Spit toilet water on your face.

You can't accept this power.

Step down at once, long fists and short strokes, high to high, soaring everywhere.

Catfish mouth, pointed skull, wide chin

Feed; free of charge

It's done.

A storyteller's mouth cannot tell the story of two families.

Don't mention how comfortable it is

It's over, it's over, it's over

The waves behind the Yangtze River push the waves before, and the new generation of the earth will change the old people.

I am so angry that I fart!

I have a bad stomach.

My mother's legs and stomach twitched with fear.

The ear of Yuanbao

Duluxian narrow-headed catfish mouth

The face is covered with coquettish skin, and flies and mosquitoes are reluctant to fall down, for fear of slanting their feet.

Ah ~ ~ I haven't lived enough ~ ~ I haven't lived enough.

I buried my head in the hole.

The hero shouted in his heart at the critical moment that my life was over!

But someone can help each other.

What are you doing? Collect chicken feathers for dusters.

The tip of the tongue is more powerful than the abdomen in the tooth cavity.

Go down to the next sofa and start the land flight method.

The toilet stool faces outwards.

The crock never leaves the well, and it is inevitable to die without fighting.

When the Woods are big, there are all kinds of birds.

Refuse to accept the guilt of the superior.

Money overwhelms handmaiden's hand, and art overwhelms pedestrians.

I'm afraid it's not good if I'm not afraid of it.

Fart with the wind

Bad guys always say when they die, "I haven't lived enough!" " "

Then I added: "I can't do it without living enough!" "

Fart under the covers and eat alone.

People die than people, and goods are still better than goods.

A bottle of discontent, half a bottle of wandering.

Blink, leap, jump, turn around.

The expert held out his hand. We'll know if there is.

If you talk about martial arts, say:

Open the monument with one hand and hit the stone like powder.

Golden bell jar, iron cloth iron fence, balance of thirteen Pacific Insurance.

It is said that people fly high, and they like to say that their bodies are like electricity.

It's hard to say things, like to say, the potential is better than the sky, or it's hard to fly.

There is also the emergence of people with high martial arts. They like to say: temples are bulging, cheeks are bulging ... (I can't remember)

eyes flash like lightning

If you save people, say: xx is crazy, your xx is coming (long sound)! !

If you don't know, just say, shake your head like a wave drum. ...

If the martial arts player is not good at martial arts, just say: it's only xx, and I'm so tired that my nose and temples are sweating. ...

One didn't notice. ...

Before the contest, he said: the whole body is clean and tidy, the limbs are stretched out, and there is no place to collapse. ...

Speaking of treasure bags, it says: top, blade, thorn, small hook, small. ...

When performing qigong, he said: hit the front heart with your knee and hit it with your heel. ...

When he died, he said: close your eyes and your heart will be finished!

When people are short: pinch it, not enough for a plate, press it, not enough for a bowl.

Say the gun: it will collapse with one blow and the nest will be covered!

Everyone who said it was angry: angry, he farted!

Advice: Man struggles upwards, but water flows downwards. The general will protect the Lord, and the handsome bird will climb the mountain!

Learning skills: the teacher really teaches and the apprentice really learns (Xiao). It's amazing after XX years!

Toads don't eat people. It's so scary!

The eyebrows, the eyes, the nose, the face ...

A tall building is empty.

Without the three magic sands, I dare not turn against Siqi.

Don't accept the job of porcelain without Jin Gangzuan.

Describe someone's high achievement: the sky is full of jade pillars and the sea is purple and golden beams.

Hate my parents' lack of legs.

Men can't control many people, and their fists are lost to four hands.

I made a pearl-inverted roller blind, and the hag explored the sea.

Bullshit! DuDu fart!

The pony rolling line is too narrow, and Dapeng spreads its wings and hates the sky.

Wine is poison in the intestines, steel knife is scraping in the bones, wealth is trouble, seedling gas is thunder, fireworks are bubbles.

In order to attract everyone's attention, he always shouts: "Ah ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Stay!"

"Na ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Tommy Buddha" and "Infinite ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Buddha"

Who can stand the challenge? The general manager said: "Jump into the river and jump into the sea vertically, stepping on the feet of tall buildings." "High to high, the earth takes off."

XXX, you were hit by my smoke gun!

XXX said unconvinced: "Before XX finished speaking, XXX turned his head unhappily, and his face sank when he clapped his hands:" Stop it. "

Say who's tied up, say "targeted."

Who can't stand it: "The power of two arms and three hundred pounds!"

If XXX wants to fight hidden weapons, first of all, he should say, "XXX is really powerful. Seeking a home is not the defeat of his opponent!" Turn around and run.

XXX can't beat others, always thinking, "Why don't I beat him with defeat as victory?"

You and I were enemies in our last life, and we are enemies in this life, XXX, you took ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ life!

Someone is always coming at the critical moment. In the words of Dan Tianfang, "close your eyes and wait for death there. Ah, this is the time. . . . . . "

Rescuers always: pull the front heart, hammer the back heart and crush people. Sometimes I add artificial respiration, and then I say, "Did that man say there was artificial respiration?" ! Don't be serious with me, it's a rescue anyway. "

When I wanted to fight XXXX shanzhai, I saw the soldiers at the mountain gate always shouting, "Did I say who has a breath?" ! ? "

"Good words are hard to persuade damn ghosts!"

XXX coughed: "Goose is disgusting ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~".

Push eight horses horizontally and pour nine cows back.

Pour a kilo or two.

Iron sand palm, eagle claw force.

Car owner: "Wo Wo Wo Wo ~ ~ ~ Pa, bone bone bone"

This kid is bigger than a bald-tailed dog

XXXX raised XXX (a weapon, if it is a palm, it will say "Hold your palm in the air") above your head and said, "XXX, there you are, 1", and he was going to kill you.

XXX just wanted to start work, but XX jumped up. Old swordsman, why kill a chicken with a knife? ! Give me this boy!

XXX is empty.

Three shakes and two shakes, and there is no trace.

Being single does not fight for power.

XXXX poor monk (being original) Trying to kill ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Eating steamed buns always says: Meteors chase the moon.

Name is XXXX, thunderbolt, XXX has nothing to say.

Although XXX is very capable, it is useless to compare with anyone, and it is useless to compare with XXX!

XXX silver helmet, like a silver doll.

Brush your eyebrows, bitch eyes, flat nose, water chestnut mouth and a little black beard!

He hit a cross-arm iron gate bolt (or fishing for the moon in the sea) and only heard a dull sound, which made his arm numb and his mouth hot!

A man's head is about to explode from a dog's head. . . .

There is a small head on the big head. . .

Man is a woodcarving, and he can defeat others without fighting; Man is a bitter worm, without which he can't fight. . .

Shit, my grandma.

How many nails can you drive out when you are covered in iron? !

The dog lifts the curtain, all by mouth!

Acupoints-"Ben Er! Freeze! "

Hidden weapons's name is not hidden weapons.

And words and words! The wind is tight!

Ah ~ ~ ~ ~ boring! I opened this mountain and planted this tree. If you want to cross here, stay and buy the toll! Say no when your teeth jump! Come and see! ! I am a knife (axe) and a tube to kill whether buried or not!

If you want to kill, eat meat and open your mouth. Frowning is not a hero.

That's money ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Step on a hole ~ ~ ~ ~ (the sound of a gun or explosive)

I once met a man who ate raw rice.

A crock can't be broken out of a well, and it must die before it becomes bigger.

XXX secretly picks his thumb, that's all ~ ~ ~

Conscience dies in a sleepy place. Conscience is in crisis.

XXX can also copy two weapons? !

Heaven has a way out! There is no escape from hell. You vote.

Are you XXX? However! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Say who is a good sharpshooter, and go straight.

It is said that someone has a bad temper-sex is like fire and caught fire.

Smoked too old, burning king kong, strange eyes, black beard and stubble on the sideburns.

XXX is also a bit hanging!

When you want to do bad things, you think "harmless ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ husband!" ! ! ! "

Chop XX's head, not chop, but make XX's head unhappy!

Old swordsman, don't be angry and arrogant.

Learn martial arts and sell goods to the emperor's family!

I'm afraid it's not good if I'm not afraid of it.

..... That's it! What did that guy say? I have explained all the documents, and the books have not been sorted out.

If you don't keep your word, you will shit and wait for death.

Eat enough thick skin and not enough thin skin.

Shake the spear three times, shake it three times. .......

The tree wants to keep quiet, but the wind won't stop.

There are no rules, Fiona Fang! It's hard to correct six tones without five tones!

There is nothing to see in the first three plays. Old swordsman, I'll go up to cushion the field.

Immortals can't hide from smoke.

I remember: there are thousands of golden lights and thousands of lucky colors.

There seems to be: "you unlucky child, aren't you dead?"

You stop ... I won't stop. ...

Where are you going ... don't worry, don't worry if you have a place to run. ...

Let it be!

Let's go ... conscience is in trouble, no poison, no hate, no husband. ...

You go over there and cut him open and let me dry.

I was caught in my cigarette and the ghost blew out the lamp.

You are the famous xxx? I haven't heard of it.

Scare people and catch ghosts, drowning will lead to water.

I opened this mountain and planted this tree. If I want to fight here, I will stay and buy the toll, and I dare to say "no" with half a tooth. Come and see! (and then shua shua practiced weapons), Lao tze I killed or buried!

When I tilted my body, I didn't fall off my horse!

A water thief crossing the river is not a dog robe!

Telling stories and singing plays to persuade people, three avenues take the center. Good and evil will eventually be rewarded, and the right way on earth is Cang Sang.