Why can't you speak your hometown dialect?

Passerby A: I heard you moved.

Passerby B: Yes, it moved to the end of the city.

Passerby A: Yo, Municipal Committee, it's good. It's on the third middle road, isn't it?

Passerby B: No, it's in Nakai, Hedong Development Zone. It's the tail of Liuzhou City.

The creativity of Liuzhou people is peculiar. Anything serious can be turned into relaxation and fun by talking and laughing. From another perspective, cities are changing and expanding. Yesterday's "end of the city" has become today's bustling city, and tomorrow's end of the city will be farther and farther away.

2

A: Let's have dinner together tonight.

Yes, it is.

Perhaps only Liuzhou people can understand the meaning of this short message, but it means where to eat; Noisy Who does that mean? Simple, 5 cents a word.

three

Appropriate backwardness is also a fashion. ...

-A radio DJ and an advertising planner discuss fashion topics. Nowadays, there are more and more definitions about fashion. Avantgarde and fashion have become the mainstream of fashion, but different people have different understandings, which also means the trend of social and cultural diversification.

four

Come on: Welcome.

Driver: No.93, plus 5 yuan.

Oilman: ...

Driver: Did you add it? Please make out the invoice for me.

fueler:@ # RMB % &；

-A Mercedes-Benz S500 car pulled into a gas station on Liushi Road, and the service staff at the gas station greeted it with great interest, thinking it was a big customer. Unexpectedly, the above conversation happened, and the oiler's expression experienced a clear-yin-yin process, and finally almost collapsed. This scene is reminiscent of a dialogue in world without thieves: Do you have to be a good person to drive a good car? ...

five

China's plane flew high, and the American plane was beaten and burned.

-The nursery rhymes circulated among children born in Liuzhou in the 1970s have obvious ideological tendencies, and there are many similar nursery rhymes. For today's children, children's songs are no longer their mainstream form of entertainment. The development of science and technology enriches children's lives, but it also limits their imagination.

six

Which one is finished? Is this the end?

-A conversation between an employee of a company and a customer on the phone. Colleagues laughed after listening to it. Think about it, too. Sometimes even a simple question will be blank.

seven

Hey, it's Yang Guo again. ...

-A basketball teenager in Longcheng Middle School was too energetic when shooting. Watching the ball fly over the basket, he used the name of the hero in The Condor Heroes to evaluate the failed shot. After careful consideration, I think it should be explained as follows: too much energy means too much yang, and the ball flies over, which is estimated to be relative to impotence.

eight

My childhood dream was to be a pastry chef.

-a girl said to her boyfriend.

Venue: Selena Cake Shop on Park Road.

nine

I went to school with explosives and bombed classrooms and playgrounds. ...

-adapted from a long-standing school song, the crystallization of a pupil's collective wisdom. I don't know whether the school angered the students or whether the students were tired of the school, or whether to express their creativity or vent their dissatisfaction.

10

It's getting cold today. The snake can't get out. It must be a mouse. ...

-Lottery's logical analysis of the market. Now it is not difficult to hear similar conversations in the streets and alleys of Liuzhou. The prevalence of gambling reflects the lack of people's spirit. I really want to get angry: Liuzhou people, you shouldn't be so depraved!

1 1

Ah, Brother Squeeze, move the bucket to light the lamp, give the umbrella door, who (sei) is red, Lu, Cha Qiu, and give it to Pima and the dog, all of them have started.

Who knows these out-of-tune words? Others may not know, Liuzhou men must know it very well-the boxing name is wide and the streets can be heard everywhere. The bold voice interprets Liuzhou's character from another angle.

12

The first generation of only children after implementing the family planning policy; The date of birth was accompanied by historical events such as the Third Plenary Session of the Eleventh Central Committee and the counterattack in self-defense. Colleagues of reform and opening up have enjoyed the fruits of reform and also borne the price of reform; No faith, no sense of security, confused in the era of diversified values. ...

-The self-definition of a Liuzhou netizen born in 1978.

13

How did you drive the flies into someone's bowl?

-a snail powder stall owner angered coolies. We have been complaining about the food brands in Liuzhou. How can such a good product not build a strong brand? Now it seems that in addition to market factors, we should also find reasons from our own details.

14

Ultrasonic waves can be emitted here and metals can be detected.

-A garbage collector in Ou Yangling garbage dump is introducing his equipment to others. The progress of science and technology really affects everyone.

15

Customer: Give me a box of that.

Shop assistant: Which one?

Guest: That's it. ...

Shop assistant:

Customer: Condoms! ! !

One day in a supermarket on Sanzhong Road, I heard a conversation between an adult man and the cashier in the supermarket, which made people laugh. China people have been ashamed of sex since ancient times, and sex education in schools is even more lacking. Most people are self-taught. Nowadays, sex is not only a personal problem, nor a family planning problem, but a social problem.

16

I want to go far away to bask in the sun and let the moldy sun shine brightly. ...

—— Personality signature of a netizen in Liuzhou

17

Excuse me, do you have Liang Xin here?

-A newly graduated employee contacts other units for the first time. The two people he was looking for were Liang Yu and Chen Xin, but when he was nervous, he let it slip.

18

Curb AIDS and keep promises.

-The theme of World AIDS Day in 2006. This year's 65438+February 1 Yes 19 World AIDS Day. The latest assessment results show that there are about 650,000 people infected with HIV in China, including about 75,000 people with AIDS. At present, Liuzhou is in the forefront of the country in AIDS prevention and control. On June 5438+ 10 this year, Zhang, deputy director of the Education, Science, Culture, Health and Sports Committee of China People's Political Consultative Conference, went to our city to conduct an investigation on AIDS prevention and control, and fully affirmed the achievements made in AIDS prevention and control in our city.

-

one

This baby is the wolf's reward.

A mother is blaming her son who just turned 10. It is no wonder that children are scolded by wiping their mouths directly with sleeves after eating. "wolf reward" in Liuzhou dialect means untidy and unhygienic.

two

Don't you have to go to work today?

Today is Saturday, okay?

-"Good" and "Good" have become the mantra of young people in Liuzhou now. This is not a local slang in Liuzhou, but an imported product. The root cause seems to be the lines in the series of Hong Kong and Taiwan. With the cultural exchange, many regional factors have been added to dialects. Now, if you want to listen to authentic Liuzhou dialect, you may only have to find Aber who is over 60 years old.

three

Answer that you are sleepy!

—— This spoken language is an original work entirely from Liuzhou people, with completely independent intellectual property rights. Usually used in situations where you don't want to answer other people's questions, similar to the "no comment" of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs. At the same time, deductive works such as "I am tired of seeing you" and "I want to be tired of you" are also derived from this.

four

Are you going to climb Maanshan this afternoon?

-What's it like at noon? Who knows? Whoever says it will understand. Just like noon means morning. Some Liuzhou people who can't speak Liuzhou dialect don't seem interested in standard Mandarin, so they have to say something they think is fashionable. It is no longer a question of arguing whether to speak Mandarin or Liuzhou dialect. It's important to have something to say.

five

Catch chicken and eat cauliflower ...

-a lyric in Yu Junjian's "Tell the truth": To tell the truth ... was interpreted by a Liucheng brother in the OK hall.

six

A: Liuzhou has developed well in recent years.

Yes, that's why we have a lot to worry about.

-At the dinner table, a friend who left Liu for a long time lamented the changes in Liuzhou. Another friend drank for 30 days and immediately picked up a sentence, which made all the friends sitting there laugh. However, we are all working hard to make our lovely Liuzhou better.

seven

Fatty, come and take a look at it for me. My computer crashed here.

-Talk in the office. There seems to be nothing wrong with grammar, but it sounds awkward logically. Anyway, the audience present at that time were all laughing their heads off. It seems that the humorous elements in the office are really endless!

eight

Here comes the strange thing. I want to sell powder alone tomorrow morning.

-In front of an entertainment venue in Wuxing Street, a brother in a suit and tie grandly stood in front of the door and made a phone call. Compared with other cities, Liuzhou's entertainment market is particularly hot. It is often seen that boys and girls who shuttle between entertainment places at two in the morning, no matter which class, are infected by this atmosphere and actively participate in it.

nine

The thief is also going to celebrate the New Year!

-An old man looked at a young man who was anxious because he couldn't find a motorcycle at dawn and said the above sentence. Every year is the peak of thief activities, which seems to be a routine. But do thieves have to harm the interests of others during the New Year?

ten

He is a pink baby.

-In an alley of Sanzhong Road, a noodle shop owner pointed to a bony young man, Kan Kan, and talked. Drugs have long been a social problem, and the resulting public security problems, health problems and family problems are all harmful. Drug addicts have become the darkest group in society. Here, although our voice is not loud, we can't help but appeal again: cherish life and stay away from drugs! ! !

eleven

Brother, I'll take you to the theatre. I'll sit upstairs, you'll sit on the ground, I'll eat melon seeds and you'll eat fart.

-Liuzhou nursery rhymes, with a little humor and a little ruffian. Liuzhou people born in 70-80 years should be no strangers. At that time, adults described the joke as "no oil and no salt", but it brought a lot of fun to that generation.

twelve

What did you talk about in the teahouse last night?

Sit together, Bengu.

-It's interesting to hear these two sentences in the elevator of an office building in Sanzhong Road. Both sentences contain typical local slang in Liuzhou: saying Xiao is an interesting thing in Liuzhou dialect, similar to saying Xiao; Ban Gu, on the other hand, means chatting, which is similar to the "dragon gate array" in Sichuan dialect and the "chatter" in Northeast dialect. A few years ago, Liuzhou Radio also published a column in Liuzhou dialect called "Ban Gu Jin Lun".

thirteen

Chairman Mao taught us that our educational policy should be to let the educated develop morally, intellectually and physically, and become educated workers with socialist consciousness. In order to revolution, to protect eyesight and prevent myopia, eye exercises began. ............

-The eye exercises broadcast for nearly 40 years is a typical specimen of the times. It still sounds like a retreat through time and space, and you still feel kind when you have a chance to hear it. At present, in Liuzhou, there are still some schools and units that continue to use this set of broadcasts, but it seems that only the version played by Liuzhou No.2 Middle School is the most complete.

fourteen

Do you know Liu Zongyuan?

Yes, I have studied middle school textbooks.

-serious language barriers, learned is learned, why "learned", this is not fashionable, this is a grammatical error, but also the mistake of Hong Kong and Taiwan. We should use the language correctly, whether it is Liuzhou dialect, Mandarin, vernacular, Sichuan dialect or Hunan dialect.

fifteen

Customer: Do you sell shrimp?

Seafood dealer: There are two in the big pot, a lobster in the tube, and this seven grass on the side is for you. ...

-Bargaining in the seafood market is full of slang with Liuzhou characteristics. Foreigners have never heard of it. I really don't know what's going on. In fact, "one two" is Yuan; One hundred yuan for a barrel; A bird 1000 yuan; "One big" is 10000 yuan; Of course, there is still a dollar, called a grass.

sixteen

Don't argue, we make a lot of money and don't care about this little money.

-In the cold drink shop downstairs of the Overseas Chinese Building, two foreigners involved in pyramid schemes are drinking drinks. Because of the price dispute, the thin man was flushed and deadlocked. The fat man patted the thin man on the shoulder and said the above words. It seems that "broad-minded and fat" is quite reasonable.

seventeen

Ducks cut their eyes, big monk ...

-At the New Year's party in a community in Liujiang County, a hostess announced to everyone: "The next program is Yamato singing." Some foreign audiences were puzzled at first, but they understood after explaining. Liuzhou dialect belongs to a branch of Southwest Mandarin. Because there are many ethnic minorities in the surrounding counties, the branches of languages are often integrated into the languages of some other ethnic groups, such as the Zhuang nationality. Therefore, although both belong to the boundary of Liuzhou, there are still great differences in dialect pronunciation.

eighteen

You broke the rules. Do you have a problem with the fine?

-A traffic policeman stopped an illegal vehicle at a certain intersection and said humorously to the driver.

nineteen

Vendor: Do you want to buy it? Don't rummage if you don't buy it!

Customer: Why are you so miscellaneous? Who wants to buy your things?

The street vendor didn't want others to turn over his goods, so the customer quarreled with the vendor. "A za" in Liuzhou dialect means bad attitude and blunt speech.

twenty

What I want most during the Spring Festival is to receive a phone call from the police station informing me to pick up the car.

Some people hope to get flowers, some people hope to get perfume, some people hope to get a sincere love, but for a person whose motorcycle was stolen, the biggest wish is to find what he lost.

-

"Uncle, did you eat the car?"

A child made a phone call and an adult taught him to say hello to his relatives. After getting on the bus after dinner, he made a mistake in a hurry. Children are so cute.

"Today is Tuesday, Guo."

How about Tuesday? The butcher is a little worried. Oh, by the way, there are few people shopping in the street today.

"Why does someone always cut in line, … Oh, he has a' VIP' card, but you posted a notice that the' VIP' card can be given priority?"

At the bank, a depositor who had been waiting in line for a long time was very angry. Half an hour later, the bank really posted a notice that "customers with VIP cards have priority in handling business". The bank is very irritating now!

"I think I hear the sound of the waves?"

Study on business trip, skip class and watch the sea, and lead the inspection post. Fortunately, the leadership did not pursue it. It feels good to have the opportunity to study and train!

"More than 5 waves."

It is much more unified to buy food and meat in the market at night. His professional level is really flattering. I have been selling meat for nearly ten years, but my knife skills have not improved at all. I always cut too much.

"Let me help you download it."

In front of the computer, a ten-year-old child said to me. This boy should be white and smart! Playing games makes you an expert.

"Grandpa, there is nothing for you this year. Give more money and spend whatever you want! "

Qingming, I heard an interesting sentence on the ridge.

"Too white tremella can't be bought, and too white ginkgo can't be bought."

On the bus, a passenger said to the pine tree, why not buy it? There is a lot of knowledge about buying vegetables. The pine tree only taught people to buy a Yuba in Random Life, and now it has learned something new. In the future, if you can't see pine trees strolling around red beans, he must have compiled a booklet called "Shopping Must Read" and sold it at the food market. This is an absolutely profitable business. Soybean oil is competing with poor pine trees.

"Did you watch Prison Break 2?"

A greeting I often hear in the company canteen recently. Prison Break 2 Fire!

"There was something wrong with hanging fish last night!"

It's about playing mahjong. Playing mahjong is developing with the times, with more participants and more entertainment!

"Learn to pay tribute to the workers and comrades who stand in the front line of the struggle!"

To be precise, this is a sentence I saw. I hung up in front of a factory for a long time. I wonder if Jin 'an is here? It is related to the bankruptcy and reorganization of enterprises. I think the slogan is so sensational! So sad!

"What responsibility do you take?"

A group of lovers break up if a woman says to a poor man. Love is a heavy topic in front of money. Love is inseparable from milk and bread. I don't think there is anything wrong with women. It's so real!

"What should farmers do if they get this disease?"

Faced with the high medical expenses, I heard such a discussion at the hospital gate.

"He didn't give us dollars!"

In the face of low wages, work more, said a beautiful woman after she resigned.

"It's going to rain, and we have to get married."

There is nothing wrong with writing North, but getting married is a turning point. Marry others, some people are helpless, some people can't tell the taste!

"The groom's official will work hard to be a man from tonight!"

A sentence often heard at wedding banquets is a bit inappropriate for children!

"I have cured several cases of thalassemia. I just need some herbs. I just came back from watching the children in Liugang. "

Take the shuttle bus back to Xiangzhou, and listen to an old farmer B, it's awesome. Thalassemia is that simple? I want to recommend him to work in the Institute of Medicine of China Academy of Sciences.

"There is wine to drink during the day and a pinch at night!"

Image description of farmers' well-off life.

"As long as you are willing to be my mouse, you are welcome to visit."

I just heard a rather novel sentence. It turned out that a beautiful woman wanted to go to a colleague's house for dinner, and the colleague was not good at cooking. She was still in the initial stage, so going to dinner was just a test of her cooking skills. Isn't it a mouse's job to do experiments for people?

"Where can I be without you?"

A little contractor took his little brother who was looking at the construction site to have a big meal. Little brother raised his glass and toasted the big contractor. The original intention is to praise him: without your concern, there would be no bar where I am today. I don't want to get drunk or hide the big scene. When the words come out, it becomes like this. I take advantage of myself! Full of laughter.

What do you mean by "black and white"? I want to complain! "

In the business hall of a company, a person asked which window a business should be handled. I was busy inside, so I replied, "It's written on the wall. Find it yourself. " The man is angry, as mentioned above. If you work in a window post, you must pay attention to the service attitude, or you will be in trouble!

"Remember, don't talk to strangers."

The pine tree went to study, and the teacher announced free activities in the afternoon. Pretend to be serious and tell us. As the old saying goes, telling it to adults who often go out is a bit funny!

"I am such a person, good people can't do it, bad people can't do it! You have to get married in this situation! "

My buddy picked up girls and accidentally his girlfriend's stomach was abnormal. He doesn't like his girlfriend very much and doesn't want to get married, but he was forced to get married. In desperation, picking up girls became a husband! This is his wedding speech. Friends are so honest! But then he was a good husband!

"I want to find someone to quarrel with!"

A friend quarreled with his wife and confided in us, so a friend replied. A single friend thinks that quarreling is actually a bright color, and he envies others quarreling! It is really a book that is difficult for everyone to read.

"This is called looking for a needle in a haystack!"

Spring Festival travel rush Peak returned the train ticket at the railway station. As soon as he arrived at the refund window, several students stopped to ask where the tickets were. If it is from Beijing, he will accept it. Spring Festival travel rush is hard to get a ticket, and some people who don't have a ticket often try their luck. But it is not easy to find the right ticket, so the image of college students is likened to: looking for a needle in a haystack!

-

"More busy now? Always see you go dancing? " ?

"I have to take my grandson to cook, and I am too busy to see the road." ?

"The baby's grandmother didn't bring it?" ?

"In the countryside, my daughter didn't bring it." ?

"Stupid woman! I am exhausted by my mother, and I am comfortable for others! " ?

-At the bus stop in front of the Third Hospital of the municipal government, two women in their fifties and sixties are discussing the problem of helping their children (comments: boys and girls are the same. There are more men than women now, and girls will be valuable in the future)

"She is the first. She is a dinosaur! " ?

"Don't talk! My mother always said when she came back from the parent-teacher conference, do you think people learned it from their parents? I laughed when you got half of it! " ?

"Just like my mother said, but I told my mother, why don't you ask the baby who was born with a better brain?" ?

-On the No.59 bus, two middle school students are discussing the exam results and parents' attitudes.

"I won't let him go easily!" ?

"come on It's hard for you to drag on any longer. " ?

"I've never been better, even if I get divorced right away. If I am not better than him, I don't want to be better! " ?

"Did you leave him alone or did you leave yourself alone?" ?

-In the bar, several women are enlightening a woman whose husband is having an affair and her marriage is in trouble.

"I told you long ago, don't lend money to others, so as not to worry too much." ?

"Mainly depends on the friend didn't borrow much money, more than two thousand. He borrowed it so as not to hurt his feelings. I didn't know until now that he had been dragging. " ?

"If you borrow it, it will hurt your feelings. You urged him several times, but he didn't return it. I was angry when I saw him, and I didn't want to tear my face. If you want to be happy, you must avoid him. Now it seems that we owe people money. " ?

-In a bank savings office, a man and a woman are waiting to handle business and discuss the issue of creditor's rights.

"My mother said that if she won the lottery in the yard, she would buy me a set of' Motorized Altman'." ?

"My dad said that if he won the lottery, he would send me KFC." ?

"But it seems that she has never won. She reads materials every day and studies very hard. " ?

"My dad doesn't accompany me to do my homework or play with me on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays." ?

"My mom doesn't cook, and my dad doesn't cook well!" ?

It seems that they adults are busy ...?

Two primary school students are talking about their parents buying underground Mark Six lottery tickets.

"Your son loves pig brains so much that he buys three at a time!" ?

"Yes, I bought two yesterday and didn't put down my chopsticks. I gave it to him, so I bought three today and everyone has to eat it. " ?

"Me too. Last night, I cooked Dongpo pork. My wife ate a few sweets and finished them for her at once. I didn't cook much and didn't eat chopsticks. " ?

"We love our children more and always give them food until they know how to eat." ?

"Oh, whether he knows it or not, it makes him feel very sweet to see his daughter eating well." ?

-vegetable market, two women are talking.

"In the past, when we were class teachers, we always got more structural wages than leaders. You see, the people's leaders get less than us, so there is no reason why you can't do a good job. Right? " ?

"Yes, I remember what the dean said. Although the leader gets less money, the work of the guests is much easier to do. You can have more or less money, just watch. " ?

"Is that you see those corrupt officials, greedy for so much money? I can't sleep well. Let's forget about money. It is true that you are doing well, but it is not good to live for a long time. " ?

-Several teachers talk about structural wage distribution.

"Now the baby doesn't know what's wrong. He always likes the teacher to talk too much." ?

"That's right. My grandson can't say three words when he meets his classmates. He immediately said that the size of the teacher's nose, eyebrows and mouth is far worse than that of any star ... how can he read like this? " "No wonder there is a saying that it is better to be a generation than a generation!" ?

-In the shade of a tree, two old people are waiting for their grandchildren who come back from school.

"Boy, the girl you were looking for last time is not very good. Why did you break up again? " ?

"You didn't buy me a house, so don't call me to talk about the object!" ?

"For you to finish college, niang Lao tze which have the money to buy you a house! Besides, our house is enough. " ?

"Almost all my friends have their own houses when they get married. Now, which one is still under the same roof for three generations and four generations? ! "？

-Dialogue between colleague Lao Lin and his son. Lim kept sighing.

"Why are your eyes red and swollen?" ?

"Stop talking and cry for my silly girl." ?

"Your daughter is beautiful and her work unit is good!" ?

"Well, just don't understand! She introduced her to a man with money, a car and a good appearance. She was going to talk to an intern in her hospital. She told her that they hit it off. It's no use talking about it, let alone an undergraduate course. It is difficult for graduate students to find jobs now. She also moved out to live with others, and my tears as a mother have dried up. " ?

"alas! Stupid woman, she will regret it. " ?

"It's too late to regret it!" ?

-Liu Hou Park, two women walk and say.

"Come early tomorrow and try to practice a few more laps." ?

"As far as possible, my neck is twisted these days, my hand is swollen, and my whole body hurts. I want to find someone to massage at night. " ?

"We have decided to register before the implementation of the new policy and stay in school for three months one day later. Isn't that harder? " ?

"It is better to practice more, so as not to become a' road killer'!" ?

"So come early and practice more." ?

-Two young people are talking about learning to drive down the stairs.

"The fund you bought has gone up?" ?

"Get up, I didn't buy much, I want to take this a few months bonus to buy more. Don't tell my husband! " ?

"Didn't speak? What if he knows what to do? " ?

"I won't tell him. If he knew, I would say it was for my mother. " ?

-At the gate of the Agricultural Bank, I heard a conversation between two women.

"Aunt Wu doesn't talk?" ?

"Well, I'm going back to wash my daughter's clothes." ?

"Your daughter is in her twenties?" ?

"28."？

"Do you want to help wash clothes when you are so old?" ?

"Well, she went online as soon as she came back from work, didn't go out to play, and didn't do housework." ?

"So you see? Don't spoil her too much! " ?

-A group of middle-aged and elderly women are chatting. One of them wants to leave and talk to his partner when he leaves.

"Boss, which part of lean meat without bones is the best? Cut me a catty. " ?

"Do it?" ?

"Buy it for my dad." ?

"Oh, I have been selling pork for more than ten years. I always listen to buy pork for my son. It's the first time I heard my father buy pork. Ok, I'll cut the best for you. " ?

-a conversation I heard in front of a pork stall the other day.

Qin Xiao, let's go home. It has been a long time today. You are exhausted. " ?

………?

"Stop talking, go back, I had a stroke in May! Today, my daughter-in-law told me that the Double Ninth Festival was coming and bought me a wheel. She just picked me up from the fourth floor and wheeled me to the park ... "?

-Queshan Park, an old woman in a wheelchair, a young daughter-in-law and an acquaintance are talking.