"Hometown Yi Nangou"

My hometown is a place I tried my best to escape from when I was a child. When I grow up, I want to go back, but I can never go back.

Some people also say that hometown is the place where your ancestors are buried for generations. It is hometown.

I was born on January 4, 1993.

According to what my mother later told me, when I was born, my family temporarily lived in someone else’s two-hole clay kiln, where I was born. Most of the people in the village have Shandong household registration. There are about twenty households in total. It's called Nangou Village. Grandma and uncle's family live in the village opposite. This place held my entire childhood.

Some people’s childhood heals them throughout their lives, while some people’s lives require childhood healing.

I only remember that there were eight or nine children the same size as me in the village at that time. At that time, if the class started at 7:30 in the winter in the morning, we would have to walk from the village to school at 6:30. Winter in northern Shaanxi is really cold, and the cold wind can only be described as biting. My hands were often cracked, and only in the evenings when my mother had free time would she wipe our sisters' hands with a little "bangbang oil" by the stove. Especially if it snows heavily, you have to start early. Usually when the weather is bad, my mother will give me 1 yuan to buy a pack of instant noodles at school for lunch. I often want to buy something delicious in the second period of class. After school in the afternoon, I walked back with my classmates from the same village. There is a river at the entrance of the village. In the winter, they break the ice to catch fish. Before the fish can be caught, their shoes are all wet. When they go back, they are beaten again. Later, a boy from the same village stole a lighter from home and lit the corn stalks to dry them before going back. Once, he almost set the mountain on fire to bake his shoes. This happens all the time.

The cave dwelling where my grandmother once lived was also where my mother grew up.

Later, my father said that the teaching conditions in the town could be better. I was transferred to a boarding school in Linzhen. It takes more than an hour to walk from home to school, but I live on campus during the week and come back once a week. The classmates there were also children from nearby villages, where my grandma was not around that year. I remember it very clearly now. It was the May Day holiday soon. I was in the classroom, and the head teacher came over and asked me to come out. He told me that there was an emergency at home and asked me to go back. I knew my grandma must be ill. I went home with my uncle who was at work and he took me on his motorcycle. On weekdays, I love my grandma the most. My mother gives me 20 yuan for living expenses every week, and I always save 2 yuan to buy chicken feet for my grandma. Every Friday when I go back from school, my grandma will sit in the yard and wait for me. She often wears her shirt and pants with little flowers on them. black. My hair has always been like that. Until this time when I got home and saw my grandma’s body swollen while sucking oxygen, I was heartbroken, or at a loss. I cried and didn’t eat for two days. I only heard my uncle whispering in that room: Fangfang is also an emotional baby. By that time, grandma's condition had worsened, and she passed away a month later.

I didn’t dare to go to that room for a long time after grandma left. I always feel like she's still there. Still sitting on that sofa, still smoking a dry cigarette...

In 2016, Linzhen suffered a heavy rainstorm that lasted for more than a month. Many villagers have been transferred to resettlement sites in towns, where the government arranges food and accommodation. Many people's homes suffered from water leaks and floods. At that time, our Shiyao Shicun was the first to be built, and it took a long time. It completely collapsed in the year of the flood. I was studying abroad at that time. In 2017 we bought a house in the town. During the 20th Chinese New Year, our family finally reunited in our new house to celebrate the New Year.

? The special nature of working in a hospital results in very few opportunities to return to the village. But I must go back to Nangou every time I go home. This is the place where I was born and raised. The breeze, Natsume, distant mountains, and you. My dearest relatives...

? In early June, it is a busy day for farming. Taking advantage of the vacation, I came back again with my children and parents. It is about ten miles from the village to the town. There are my close relatives and memories on this road. Most people in the village have gone to the apple fields to bag bags. If you hire someone, it costs 8 cents a bag. I heard from family members that there is a couple in the village who can make 10,000 bags in one day at the fastest. At this time of year, people from nearby villages and even people from Guanzhong will go over to help with bagging. The unloading of bags is based on the day, which is about 120 per day. If there are more apples, people must hire people. The corn seedlings in the field are a little dry. It is said that it has not rained for some days. You must have heard this saying, farmers depend on the sky for their livelihood. Yes, rely on God.

I took my son and took some photos. Tell him this is where mom grew up.

In recent years, my friends in the village who are about the same age as me have also started their own families and are about to enter their 30s. Thinking about it, we were still just kids at that time, thinking about it, it’s great.

At that time, we were only worried about failing the exam. But now we are worried about much more than that.

The happiness at that time was that I could make up with you immediately after the quarrel.

Nowadays we have all become cautious and sensitive.

The indescribable wisdom of human nature.

? There happened to be a market on the day I left. There is a market every five days in the town. On this day, people from nearby villages will come here to buy some daily necessities, vegetables, etc. I basically don’t want to spend a lot of money on fruits. The things in the market are not expensive and fresh.

I went to the local greenhouse early in the morning to pick some small melons. I tasted one on the spot and it tasted just right. It must be the taste in memory. I had a conversation with the fruit farmer and asked me where I was going. I said I would go back to Xi'an to work.

The uncle said that I have two sons who also work in Xi'an, but we rarely go there because there is too much work at home and no time. I probably heard the uncle's confusion in his words. I want to go but I don’t want to go. I’m not used to it and I think it will cause trouble to the children. I have never been to a big city several times in my life. At that moment, I thought of what a netizen once said, how many parents wait until they are sick and unable to survive before going to a big city where their sons work for the first time. But you have to know that when your parents are here, there is still a place to come in life. When your parents are gone, there is only a way back in life...

(This photo was taken with the uncle's permission)

A foreign country The soul cannot be accommodated, and the hometown cannot accommodate the body. A place called home cannot find a way to support the family, and a place to support the family cannot find a home. From then on, there is a distance, homesickness, wandering, and longing. Pay tribute to every young person struggling outside.

You must firmly believe that time will never let down those who have dreams and dare to struggle.

Starlight does not care about travelers, and time pays off to those who are diligent.

May the mountains and rivers be safe and the world be safe.

?——Poor Man A2021.6.5