I’m looking for a skit, something really funny, and a script too! Thank you, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, aunts, grandparents, brothers and sisters.

(Zhao Benshan, Maomao appears)

Zhao Benshan: Here we are.

Maomao: Here we are.

Zhao Benshan: This is the most expensive hotel in Tieling. This..Scottish Flirting.

Maomao: Master, you read it wrong, it’s a Scottish sentiment.

Zhao Benshan: Ah, the mood, ha, just leave it here.

Maomao: Master, isn’t this house expensive?

Zhao Benshan: Gui, we have brought money, more than 30,000 yuan. What about the bag?

Maomao: I didn’t take my bag.

Zhao Benshan: The bag containing money is a yellow bag.

Maomao: It’s done, let me get on the bed.

Zhao Benshan: Do you think your child can still do something? You said I was doing something for you, and you got on the bed. Do you still have money?

Maomao: Dou, keep the money and pay it back. This is more than seventy yuan.

Zhao Benshan: I still have four hundred, okay.

Maomao: That’s not possible either.

Zhao Benshan: Oh, that’s enough. Waiter.

(Little Shenyang appears)

Little Shenyang: Sorry, uncle, we are a high-end hotel and we do not accept agricultural and sideline products.

Zhao Benshan: No, we are here to eat.

Little Shenyang: Oh my god, I’m eating.

Zhao Benshan: Doesn’t it look like it?

Xiao Shenyang: It doesn’t really look like it.

Zhao Benshan: Girl, this meal is very important.

Little Shenyang: Oh my god, who do you call a girl? He is a pure man!

Zhao Benshan: Then why are you still dressed like this? How about wearing a skirt?

Little Shenyang: This is packaged in our Scottish style. Besides, it’s not a skirt. Aren’t these cropped trousers? Didn't you see it? It doesn't have legs, ha!

Zhao Benshan: Haha

Little Shenyang: Oh my god, I was so anxious to wear it that I went astray. Oh my god, why is there no crotch in the aisle?

Zhao Benshan: OK, leave that leg for tomorrow, hahahaha. Oh, young man, let me tell you, I am going to invite an important guest to dinner today, and you must entertain him well, ah!

Xiao Shenyang: Ang, no problem.

Zhao Benshan: Come on, let me ask you, this, how much does it cost to have a meal in this hotel of yours?

Little Shenyang: Why are you so anxious?

Zhao Benshan: No, I mean to order the most expensive ones.

Little Shenyang: Ten thousand or twenty thousand.

Zhao Benshan: Ten...twenty thousand? Ah, what about that? Is there ever a situation where one person finishes eating today and the other person comes to pay the bill tomorrow?

Little Shenyang: Are you making a fool of yourself?

Zhao Benshan: No, it’s not just for free, I’m not short of money, I’m rich! (Take out 100 and give it to Xiao Shenyang) Then

Xiao Shenyang: What do you mean?

Zhao Benshan: Tip!

Little Shenyang: Oh my god, uncle, you are so open and bright, you are so handsome!

Zhao Benshan: Haha, it’s cool for 100 yuan, I tell you it’s not for nothing! When the guests arrive, you must give me enough face, do you understand? When it's time for me to order, you have to carry the order for me.

Little Shenyang: What are you doing?

Zhao Benshan: Even if you give me face, you can’t spend too much money. I want to order expensive dishes.

Little Shenyang: Can I just say no?

Zhao Benshan: Oh my god, you are so awesome, come on, come on, get some, I will give you another 30, come on.

Little Shenyang: I’ll give you a clear guide! Ah

Zhao Benshan: Thank you

Little Shenyang: Don’t worry, ah

Maomao: Grandpa, I’m a little hungry.

Zhao Benshan: Are you hungry? Have a bowl of noodles.

Little Shenyang: Oh, 78 a bowl.

Zhao Benshan: What kind of noodles are they so expensive?

Little Shenyang: Scottish Braised Noodles.

Zhao Benshan: Is the marinade expensive?

Xiao Shenyang: No money required.

Zhao Benshan: Ah, then you can have a bowl of braised food. Ah, let’s taste the saltiness first. Go quickly, go quickly.

Little Shenyang: Well, you haven’t been there before? !

Zhao Benshan: That’s because I didn’t come. If I had come, you would have done it by now. Go, go, go!

Little Shenyang: This old man, if I say noodles are free and I want noodles, will you pay them back?

Zhao Benshan: Come on, stand up and tell me. After a while, Teacher Bi from Avenue of Stars will come. You must give me some face, okay? This is the best opportunity in life, you know? Grandpa has been training you for more than 40 years.

Maomao: Grandpa, how old am I?

Zhao Benshan: I have trained your father for more than thirty years? Isn't it? Your dad is a half-finished product, and I have trained him to become the webmaster of a cultural website. You must surpass him. Are you determined?

Maomao: Yes!

Zhao Benshan: Show your determination!

Maomao: I designated Honggu Water, where waves hit waves. The waves behind the Yangtze River push the waves ahead. Each wave is stronger than the last, and slapped my dad on the beach.

Zhao Benshan: (raises fist) Have ambition!

Little Shenyang: Hey, here we come.

Zhao Benshan: Drink this braised food first. I’m so hungry

Maomao: Oh, Master, it’s a bit salty.

Zhao Benshan: It’s okay. Give me the whole bowl of water first.

Little Shenyang: Free water, right?

Zhao Benshan: Just boiled water.

Little Shenyang: OK, wait, I’ll straighten the water for you.

Zhao Benshan: What's the matter?

(Bi Fujian appears)

Little Shenyang: Stop, stop, don't move. oops? Aren’t you that person?

Bi Fujian: Who?

Little Shenyang: Wait, let me look for it, Zhu Jun? no. Baiyan pine? No, Lao Bi! Are you Teacher Bi?

Bi Fujian: My nature is complete.

Little Shenyang: Oh my god, Teacher Bi is here to pull me? Why did you come out? Oh my god, come here quickly. It’s time to run away soon, Teacher Bi.

Zhao Benshan: Hey, hey, what are you doing to make a fuss and get chased by wolves?

Little Shenyang: Teacher Bi.

Zhao Benshan: I know, this is the guest I want to invite. (Shake hands)

Little Shenyang: Oh my god, Teacher Bi, can you take a photo with me?

Zhao Benshan: Please wait a moment. We just arrived, right?

Bi Fujian: Just arrived.

Zhao Benshan: Oh, I’ve been waiting here for a long time.

Bi Fujian: Hello, hello. Are you?

Zhao Benshan: Who are you looking for?

Bi Fujian: I am looking for Zhao Tiezhu, the director of Lianhua Township Cultural Station.

Zhao Benshan: You found the right one, this is Zhao Tiezhu’s father. I am...

Maomao: No, you are... Zhao Tiezhu is my father.

Zhao Benshan: I am Zhao Tiezhu’s father. Aren’t you looking for my father? No... I found the right one.

Bi Fujian: Dad... no... I said, I'm looking for your son for this.

Zhao Benshan: Ah, he is waiting for you in the countryside. Oops, the township has been decorated in a grand way. The mayor and secretary are lining up to wait for you. We will build a hall and then a big room. We will get a big photo for you to hang in the middle, surrounded by flowers.

Bi Fujian: Brother, what color are those flowers?

Zhao Benshan: There are white and yellow ones.

Bi Fujian: Oh.

Zhao Benshan: It’s so beautiful. It’s true. The people are waiting with their pens, and even they are crying while waiting for you.

Bi Fujian: Why are you crying?

Zhao Benshan: Aren’t you excited? You went? Come on

Bi Fujian: Oh, no, no, no, let’s go to the countryside quickly.

Zhao Benshan: The village arranged for me to have a meal at Tieling first, and then go there after finishing the work. You see.

Bi Fujian: Eat here?

Zhao Benshan: This is the most expensive one in Tieling, come on.

Bi Fujian: No, no, no, sir, I didn’t eat it on the plane

Zhao Benshan: Guests do as they please, okay? Just be obedient to whatever arrangements are given to you, okay? Come on, come on

Little Shenyang: Teacher Bi, take a photo with me, Teacher Bi. Take a photo.

Bi Fujian: You are a waiter, right? She looks quite tactful, no, haha

Zhao Benshan: I misunderstood it when I first came here. You said there is no one dressed like this, oh my god.

Bi Fujian: Sit down

Zhao Benshan: Just arrived, right?

Bi Fujian: Just arrived. Just arrived.

Zhao Benshan: We are fellow villagers.

Bi Fujian: Really?

Zhao Benshan: Aren’t you from Dalian?

Bi Fujian: Yes, yes, from Dalian.

Zhao Benshan: Where do you live?

Bi Fujian: I live in Laobianwan, Dalian

Zhao Benshan: Oh my god, I have relatives. The child's grandfather is also in Laobianwan. Also named Bi.

Bi Fujian: What is your grandfather’s name?

Maomao: Bi Menting.

Bi Fujian: Your grandpa must be a master at playing mahjong.

Zhao Benshan: What?

Bi Fujian: Close the door, stop.

Zhao Benshan: Oh, you just call it a closed-door gun. Talk about that...

Bi Fujian: My name is Bi Fujian.

Zhao Benshan: Haha, it’s like Xiao Cui, it’s true. Oh my god, look how much this smile looks like the photo of your grandpa before he left. .

Maomao: Hey, grandpa, look at this, it looks more like smiling.

Bi Fujian: I feel like I can’t escape.

Zhao Benshan: The child can’t live with her grandpa in this life, so she will kiss her. Before her grandpa left, she cried all the time. Please recognize her!

Maomao: Hello, grandpa!

Bi Fujian: Hey, don’t, don’t, don’t, get up. It’s the New Year. If you come here, I will have to give you lucky money.

Zhao Benshan: Oh, no need. No need, oh my god, oh, this guy, come here

Little Shenyang: Teacher Bi, please take a photo with me

Zhao Benshan: I haven’t eaten yet. Pick it up now. Come and order. hurry up.

Xiao Shenyang: Take the photo before clicking again

Zhao Benshan: Hurry up, take the photo after finishing the photo!

Little Shenyang: Did you run away?

Zhao Benshan: Who ran? This is all done in a low-key manner, don’t tell this or that. Her grandpa, these are all real relatives, just order them.

Bi Fujian: No, no, no, we can just have some food. You come, you come.

Zhao Benshan: Now that our family is rich, the life of farmers is different from the past. If you just eat hard, how much can you eat? I order.

Zhao Benshan: Four Australian abalones!

Xiao Shenyang: Sorry, no.

Bi Fujian: Don’t order something so expensive. Go down.

Zhao Benshan: A four-pound lobster.

Little Shenyang: Sorry, it’s not that big!

Zhao Benshan: How big is it?

Little Shenyang: It’s more than a pound.

Zhao Benshan: Is there anything more than one pound?

Xiao Shenyang: Yes or no?

Zhao Benshan: Now, let me tell you, is this a store opened by you? You still don’t understand, it’s not bad money!

Little Shenyang: Oh, no!

Bi Fujian: Down below, let me take a look. Don't even order the shark's fin.

Zhao Benshan: Don’t eat shark fins if you have them. Did I get stuck after eating shark fins once? Later, soaking the steamed buns in vinegar didn't work, so I took them out with tweezers at the hospital! Don't eat that stuff.

Bi Fujian: Neither did he.

Zhao Benshan: No, why do you want this hotel? What are you doing? Is it easy for this person to come? Find your boss.

Xiao Shenyang: No.

Zhao Benshan: You just remember that there is no one left, right? boss!

Little Shenyang: Ang, boss, I went out as boss.

Zhao Benshan: Where have you been?

Little Shenyang: It’s unethical, it’s unethical.

Zhao Benshan: What the hell are you talking about? What do you want to eat here?

Bi Fujian: ... Let’s have some home-cooked food, something from the folks.

Zhao Benshan: It’s among the people, right? It’s among the people. In this way, let's have a little pheasant stewed with mushrooms.

Xiao Shenyang: No.

Zhao Benshan: This is possible.

Xiao Shenyang: This really doesn’t exist.

Zhao Benshan: Well, I brought this to you. We have it. Here are the duck eggs. Bring this. Thanks for bringing it.

Bi Fujian: Oh, brother

Zhao Benshan: I brought it to Beijing for you. I can’t take it away now, so we have to leave it here to eat.

Bi Fujian: You can’t eat wild pheasants.

Zhao Benshan: This is domesticated. Tono Mushrooms. Stew this in a pressure cooker for a longer time. Come on. Okay, here's a dish, come on, you idiot.

Little Shenyang: Who are you calling stupid?

Zhao Benshan: Oh, no, I said pick up another stupid egg.

Xiao Shenyang: No.

Zhao Benshan: Come on, I have it, come on. In this way, the eggs are fried with green onions.

Bi Fujian: Brother, why do you prepare all the ingredients for your next restaurant trip?

Zhao Benshan: No, he doesn’t have it. The problem is, he doesn’t have it. Even if you give him the money for this thing, he can’t find anywhere. How many dishes are there? Two. Just do this and give you a chance. Will your hotel respond to Teacher Bi's visit this time?

Little Shenyang: How about one as a gift? Oh my god, uncle, why are you so picky? You said you haven’t finished ordering one yet and we have to take another one, right?

Zhao Benshan: I said, young man, if you are like this, we are not all without ordering. After I ordered, you didn’t even have abalone and lobster.

Little Shenyang: Are you worried about whether there are any?

Zhao Benshan: What number do I have? Don't you say you don't have it?

Little Shenyang: Stop talking. What if something happens later?

Zhao Benshan: It’s not about whether you have it or not. Is this a lack of money or something?

Little Shenyang: I know the uncle is not short of money. What I mean is that Mr. Bi is so easy to come by. We can’t care about money when we eat and drink, uncle. You may see that I am young, but I have concluded that human life is actually short. Sometimes when I think about it, it’s the same as sleeping. As soon as you close your eyes and then open them, a day has passed, ho~ As soon as you close your eyes, this life has passed, ho~

Bi Fujian: Young man, brilliant!

Zhao Benshan: What a brilliant idea, he is a fart!

Little Shenyang: Uncle, I have no other meaning.

Zhao Benshan: What do you mean?

Xiao Shenyang: What I mean is that people cannot take money too seriously. Money is something external to the body. Do you know what is the most painful thing in life?

Zhao Benshan: Ang?

Xiao Shenyang: The person died and the money was not spent.

Zhao Benshan: Do you know what is the most painful thing in life?

Little Shenyang: What?

Zhao Benshan: The person is still alive, but the money is gone. You're not short of money, so don't worry and just sit there.

Little Shenyang: Hey, okay, this day.

Zhao Benshan: This kid...

Little Shenyang: This is too stingy!

Zhao Benshan: Come, grandpa, this dish will take a while to cook. Look at the duck eggs. This child has been full of artistic bacteria since he was a child...

Bi Fujian: artistic cell.

Zhao Benshan: Let me see if I can get on your road. The talent is incredible!

Bi Fujian: Brother, I figured it out. The reason why you brought me here today is to let your granddaughter enter our Walk of Fame.

Zhao Benshan: Isn’t it? There is such a relationship.

Bi Fujian: Oh, what will she order?

Zhao Benshan: Come on, let’s perform for grandpa. What's that? Waiter, come on, get the microphone. Bring me the karaoke microphone. Stand still.

Bi Fujian: So be it, follow our rules.

Zhao Benshan: What are your rules?

Bi Fujian: Come, report yourself to your family.

Maomao: Since...

Zhao Benshan: Just look at the front. Don’t worry, just leave it where it came from. Say it quickly.

Maomao: I, I am from Shuigouzi, Lianhuachi, Tieling, a big city. My name is Duck Egg, and I am in a very impulsive mood today. The sun is shining brightly tonight, and it will become cloudy and sunny tonight.

Little Shenyang: Oh my god, the weather forecast is here, haha.

Zhao Benshan: Don’t tell her. Don’t be sad about the way she said it.

Bi Fujian: Keep going, keep going.

Maomao: My mood. . It went from cloudy to sunny. Oh, why is this? It's me...I found my grandpa. My grandpa is so good, she can take me to that swanky avenue.

Bi Fujian: Avenue of Stars.

Zhao Benshan: Avenue of Stars.

Maomao: On the Avenue of Stars, I am very grateful to my grandfather for giving me this opportunity. I am so grateful to you. If you can really lead me to the Avenue of Stars, I will thank you for eight generations of ancestors. . On behalf of eight generations of ancestors, I thank you. I will never forget your great kindness to me. I will never forget you in this life. Even if I am a ghost, I will never let you go.

Bi Fujian: Grandpa, no, no, grandpa, why do I get more and more panicked the more I hear this?

Zhao Benshan: No, this kid just wants to take revenge on you.

Bi Fujian: Revenge?

Zhao Benshan: No, repay, repay, repay, repay, repay, repay, repay, cancel you, no, repay! Repay the kindness! ah! When you become successful, you can’t forget grandpa! Sing, sing.

Bi Fujian: Can you sing?

Zhao Benshan: Oh, sing Li Guyi’s Qinghai-Tibet Plateau.

Maomao: That one from Li Na.

Zhao Benshan: Li Na? Whoever you love, you sing.

Maomao: Who brought the ancient call, who left the millennium of expectations...

Zhao Benshan: No need to sing in the middle, the last one, oh la~ that one.

Maomao: That is the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau.

Bi Fujian: You are not very old, but your voice is really high.

Zhao Benshan: Come on, come on, one more tune, come on.

Maomao: Then...then...

Zhao Benshan: Then...then...

Maomao: Grandpa, the braised pork is a bit salty... .

Bi Fujian: OK, OK.

Zhao Benshan: That, there is more, there is more, and I cried and sang that one later.

Bi Fujian: Wait...wait a moment

Zhao Benshan: Crying and talking.

Bi Fujian: What kind of show is "Crying and Talking"?

Zhao Benshan: It’s the speaker at the back... No matter how difficult it is for my family, that’s the part.

Bi Fujian: No, no, no, no, that’s called an acceptance speech. Those on the Avenue of Stars are all real people. You, you, you haven’t gone to Beijing and haven’t participated in the Avenue of Stars yet. You, you, you are giving an acceptance speech. ?

Zhao Benshan: No, you... this has nothing to do with it, and on this condition, is it okay for her not to win the award? Look, her grandpa is here and I’m not sure yet? Come on, come on, cry, cry, this child is amazing, he will cry immediately after checking the number of three. One, two, three, cry.

Maomao: Cry?

Zhao Benshan: Cry! Why are you so screwed? Why are you crying so quickly? You are screwed. Come on, come on.

Maomao: Leng Ding...can’t even cry.

Zhao Benshan: Do you have feelings for grandpa? Come and see grandpa. Your grandpa’s photo is here. Come on. cry!

Maomao: .... (from crying to laughing)

Zhao Benshan: You bastard, why are you laughing? Are you crying? Why are you laughing? !

Maomao: Oh, this is so interesting. Let’s take the photo.

Bi Fujian: No more, no more, no more, no more, his talent is very good, he can sing very nice.

Zhao Benshan: Okay?

Xiao Shenyang: This is not bad. Oh my god, if I can get in like this, I can get in too.

Zhao Benshan: Where are you going? You, hurry up and serve the food!

Little Shenyang: I’ll go to the Avenue of Stars.

Zhao Benshan: What kind of road are you on? You are struggling to get on the kang! Come on, serve.

Little Shenyang: Teacher Bi finally came here and asked me to show it off. I can also sing.

Zhao Benshan: How can I have time? Listen? You know, this is all about the art world. How can you, a waiter, sing?

Little Shenyang: Just let me sing one.

Zhao Benshan: I won’t let you sing!

Little Shenyang: If you don’t let me sing, I won’t serve you food!

Zhao Benshan: If you don’t serve me food, I’ll go find your boss!

Xiao Shenyang: If you ask my boss, I will tell you what happened to you when you entertained me!

Zhao Benshan: I’m looking for your boss... you want what you want to say... you want to say that he is definitely better at singing than he is.

Bi Fujian: If you are like this, you should tell me your family name.

Little Shenyang: Ang, actually, Teacher Bi, my fate is the same as hers. I also have a grandfather named Bi!

Zhao Benshan: Come on, you don’t need it. Stop it. You should sing your part. Where do you belong?

Bi Fujian: Hey, young man, what would you order?

Little Shenyang: Ang, I can imitate.

Bi Fujian: Who are you imitating?

Little Shenyang: Imitate Teacher Liu Huan.

Bi Fujian: Which one is Teacher Liu Huan?

Little Shenyang: You and me.

Zhao Benshan: You sing alone. I just got off the plane and I’m tired and I’m singing with you like this?

Bi Fujian: He didn’t sing with me.

Zhao Benshan: If you follow me, I will not sing with him.

Bi Fujian: Brother, let me explain to you, this is a song called Me and You.

Zhao Benshan: Oh.

Little Shenyang: Song title. I will sing one for Teacher Bi. Uh-huh-huh-huh. You and I, heart to heart, live on the earth... Oh my God, I went to sing myths, it seems.

Zhao Benshan: Go ahead, your singing is off track, and your pants are off track too. You said you, you are going astray, stop singing, and hurry up and serve the food!

Xiao Shenyang: I am excited.

Zhao Benshan: Go ahead and serve the food

Xiao Shenyang: No, no, I will sing a duet. Teacher Bi, can I sing another song again?

Zhao Benshan: What are you singing?

Little Shenyang: I’ll play the role of Dao Lang.

Zhao Benshan: Pull him down, you are just a dung beetle.

Bi Fujian: No, no, brother, Daolang is not the name of an insect, it is a human name, called Daolang. The singer's name is Daolang.

Xiao Shenyang: Well, Daolang’s voice has the feeling of vicissitudes of life. The first snow in 2002 came later than usual.

Bi Fujian: If you play another one, who will you sing?

Little Shenyang: I can also sing "Avenue of Stars" to get out of that Po.

Bi Fujian: Abao must have a loud voice!

Little Shenyang: Next, I will sing a folk song from northern Shaanxi to Teacher Bi, and the mountain dandelion flowers are in bloom. The flower of Shandandan is blooming, bright red and bright~Chairman Mao leads us to conquer the country

Chairman Mao leads us~it rises high...

Bi Fujian : Calm down.

Little Shenyang: Da~江~山~

Bi Fujian: What is your name?

Xiao Shenyang: My Chinese name is Xiao Shenyang.

Bi Fujian: Do you have a foreign name?

Little Shenyang: The British name is xiao~shen~yang~

Bi Fujian: What is his name?

Zhao Benshan: Don’t you understand? The English name is Xiaoshangyang.

Bi Fujian: Who are you, young man?

Little Shenyang: from Lianhua Township.

Bi Fujian: Are you from Lianhua Township?

Xiao Shenyang: Yes.

Bi Fujian: Brother, the little Shenyang your son asked me to find is him!

Little Shenyang: Is it me?

Bi Fujian: How about you follow me to Beijing tomorrow and go to the Avenue of Stars?

Little Shenyang: Oh my god, thank you, Teacher Bi! Oh my god, I’m so excited!

Zhao Benshan: Hey, hey, grandpa, look at this child. This is all because my relatives and I have stewed all the things for you. The problem is. You...this child...if you don't give me face, you have to give her grandpa face. This

Bi Fujian: No, no, no, no

Zhao Benshan: If you don't mind, let her grandpa come to you in person Tell me?

Bi Fujian: No, no, no, no, I want to know, is she famous for this?

Zhao Benshan: She is not famous, she is... you are like this, I am not recommending her, she is quite famous, you go to Sohu and read the news, the click rate is so high, wow wow Yes, it’s been over two years, and it’s called Duck Egg.

Bi Fujian: Oh, is she the duck egg mentioned on Sohu?

Zhao Benshan: Is it her?

Bi Fujian: Oh, that’s great, great, that’s it. You’ll serve it right away. I’ll cover today’s meal and treat it to you. Ah, Yadan, you will go to Beijing with your big brother tomorrow and go to the Avenue of Stars. When you form a group, it’s called Money Not Short of Money.

Maomao: I, I, I can go too?

Bi Fujian: Sure

Maomao: Thank you, grandpa!

Little Shenyang: Thank you, grandpa!

Zhao Benshan: Just do this, I tell you, Teacher Bi.

Bi Fujian: Huh?

Zhao Benshan: Isn’t your Avenue of Stars a stage for the common people? Anyone can participate.

Bi Fujian: That’s right.

Zhao Benshan: They both want it, so they can accept me too.

Bi Fujian: Is your name also on Sohu?

Zhao Benshan: Oh, you can try it by clicking on it. In addition, I have an important secret that I haven’t revealed to you.

Bi Fujian: What’s the secret?

Zhao Benshan: Actually, my grandfather’s surname is also Bi!

(End of the play)