The Taiping Heavenly Kingdom farce, Lu Zun was executed by Yang.

Those absurd things in Taiping Heavenly Kingdom: Lu Zun was executed by Yang.

1. Taiping uses military weather to predict good or bad: the weather is favorable and the weather is gratifying; It's raining and the weather is angry; It's cloudy and the weather is angry; When the wind blows and the thunder rings, the weather becomes furious and disaster happens. The good or ill luck of the first half of the month is determined by the sunny or cloudy day of the first day, and the good or bad weather of the fifteenth day determines the good or bad luck of the second half of the month. On the last day of every month, the Taiping Army will burn incense sacrifices. Thank god, which means thank god for blessing, and this month can be spent safely.

2. The Taiping Heavenly Kingdom has a sacred family pedigree: Tian Xiong is the prince of the heavenly king, and the heavenly king is the second son of the heavenly king. Later, Tian Chaogui married Wang Xiuquan's younger sister Hong, brother and brother-in-law, which made her cry a little messy. Hong Xiuquan had to call Xiao Chaogui "brother-in-law" or "your brother-in-law".

3. East Wang Yang was very worried, because his concubine was seduced by servants, so he wanted to set up eunuchs. Li Shouhui and Li Shouchun volunteered to learn about castration. Wang was very happy and asked them to choose a dozen children to do the experiment. Who knows that four or five people died immediately after a knife. Although the rest were coated with medicine, the wounds could not heal, and finally they all died of pain.

4. Lu respectful was executed by Yang. Hong Xiuquan was very angry when he learned that. He called Yang and asked, "Brother, I don't know how you treat him. In this case, how can I unify the sovereignty of heaven in the future? " Yang said, "Father, you see that my brother is overworked and worried that you will get sick. Occasionally, he orders my brother to do something for me. Why make a fuss? " Hong Xiuquan had to laugh it off.

5. Hong Xiuquan must have twenty-four animals per meal, that is, six birds, six animals and six scales. Birds, pigeons, birds, pheasants, eagles, etc. ; Animals, cattle, sheep, geese, rabbits; Fish scales, such as bream, carp, sturgeon and bighead carp; There are also shrimps, crabs, clams and turtles. Change it every day without repeating it. Every meal costs at least several thousand taels of silver.

6. Hong Xiuquan is very strict with concubines, stipulating: "If you serve disrespectfully, you will fight; If you don't listen to the teacher, you must fight. Call three times when you see your husband; Ask your disrespect, four should be played; If you are not calm, you must fight; Say loudly, six must fight; If you don't answer, you have to call seven times. If you are unhappy, you have to call eight times. Looking around, nine should play; No gossip, ten fights. "

7. Hong Xiuquan cooks at home, no matter what the dishes are, they must be whole. Even if they are as big as cattle and sheep, the whole Chen Fang must be in a big bowl. The most ridiculous thing is that these animals are cooked, so they should be covered with their original feathers before eating, making people look like living things, and they can only take them after eating.

8. Hong Xiuquan's beauty pageant requires women's waist to be straight, shoulders to be cut, chest to be flat and height to be high. The most important thing is her height. When choosing a woman, measure her height first, and then look at her face. If you are not tall enough, you don't even look good.

9. Hong Xiuquan has many wives and concubines, plus various female officials and ministers. Palace ***2300. Hong Xiuquan couldn't remember the names, so he simply numbered them all.

10. Hong Xiuquan once asked all localities to present beautiful women, saying that "it is from all directions that all parties are unified. There are great beauties in the east and charming children in the northwest. Heaven is unified and heaven is blessed. " Another condolence letter said: "Sisters might as well not disobey and enjoy you. It's a pity to be beaten and scolded. Being beaten is kindness and charm. "

1 1. Tianjin was short of food, and one day it was foggy. Hong Xiuquan hastily issued an imperial edict, saying, "Thank God, Lord, the dew has fallen. Therefore, from now on, civil and military officials, big and small, and military soldiers will all eat manna together. "

12. When Hong Xiuquan

13. Hong Xiuquan heard that people who eat more pearls and jade can live forever. So you must eat two pearls and one jade for breakfast every day. The method of cooking pearls is: choose round pearls with good quality, stuff them into tofu and steam them in water for half a day. After tofu is removed, pearls are three or four times larger than before and become soft and rotten. The cooking method of jade is to cook it with elm roots for 24 hours to prevent the gas from leaking out of the pot, so that the jade becomes soft and rotten and can be eaten.

14. Hong Xiuquan got a beautiful woman. When Yang heard this, his mouth watered, so he used the excuse of preaching the gospel of the Father and often took it to the East Palace. Hong was very unhappy about this, so he made a suggestion and said, "Fu Shanxiang is the favorite concubine of the East King. The King of Heaven might as well use this as an excuse to call her into the palace." After Hong Yiqi left, Yang didn't ask about the future.

15. Hong Xiuquan was besieged and ran out of food, so he searched hundreds of boys and girls, made meat sauce, mixed with flour, and made steamed buns for maids. After eating steamed bread, Hong ordered people to collect all kinds of grass on the ground, cook and mash it, and distribute it to the maids. The ladies-in-waiting forcibly swallowed saliva, but no one dared not eat it, or they were killed immediately.

16. Hong Xiuquan is naturally horny. Although there were dozens of beautiful women around him, he was still not satisfied, so he ordered his officials to present beautiful women. If he is satisfied with the beauty provided, he will get a great reward. If he can't offer a beautiful woman for three months, he will be sentenced to death.