The annual meeting of the company, seeking the classic script of the three-person crosstalk sketch.

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O( )_-\_ 1: I'm so happy today. Just going to the bathroom earned so much.

2: Look, here comes another one.

Man: (clutching his stomach with both hands, rushing up) Ouch! Oh, dear! ..... I'm most afraid of finding a toilet when I'm on a business trip these days. That's not true. I have crossed several blocks and looked for it for half an hour! Alas! There is (radical) here.

1: (Stop the man) Hey! Who are you? What are you doing?

M: I, I am the boss of a mobile company. I'm going to the bathroom!

2. The boss of the mobile company? (Looking the man up and down) Can't you read? (of cards)

M: "charge"? Oh, oh, sorry, I'm in a hurry. how much is it?

1: 50 cents.

M: (Payment) Ok, here is 50 cents.

1: 30.

Man: What? That makes sense. Is there a charge for coming out?

2: Sorry, we charge two-way here.

M: Too many. Okay, here's a piece. Keep the change.

2: One piece won't do. You have to pay 300 yuan first.

M: 300 yuan? Why?

1: We charge you by the hour, 30 cents a minute. If it takes less than one minute, it will be charged by one minute. Pay first, then consume.

Man: You, what's your reason? You have to pay first? When I eat in a restaurant, I spend thousands of dollars first and then pay the bill.

2: This can't be compared.

Man: What can't be compared?

2. We and hotels are two completely different industries, and they are responsible for "entering"; We are responsible for "going out".

M: What is the basis for you to do this?

1: This is our code. In our jargon, it is called "prepaid toilet fee".

M: What do you mean by "prepaid toilet fee"?

1: It's a pity that you are the boss of a mobile company and don't even understand this. It's called "prepaid phone bill", and of course it's also called "prepaid toilet fee" for convenience.

Thank you for your idea.

Please pay it to 300 yuan first, and then deduct it from the advance payment according to your actual consumption amount.

M: It can't be that expensive.

2: Too expensive? You can buy the "People's Package" and send it to 250 yuan 10,000 times a month, with an average of 333 times a day, which is cost-effective.

Man: That doesn't make sense! Even diarrhea can't exceed 300 times a day.

1: We still have a 50% discount.

M: Good! All right!

1: 50% off all purchases from 2 am to 4 am.

M: That's not a waste of time. (to himself) Alas! Forget it, I still have to suffer from it. I might as well find a place to solve it.

2: gnome male-",I warn you, don't play any crooked ideas. Now the whole city is rectifying the "five chaos", and it is not negotiable to punish you then.

Man: That's right, (covering his stomach), ouch! How painful! You can't be suffocated by urine. Heroes don't suffer immediate losses. Give it to him first (Payment) Look at this! Give 300 yuan.

1: (Collection)

Man: (steps down)

2: (Continue listening to the stereo and set the clock from 3. 10 to 3.45).

M: (for a moment, go on stage, exercise, and breathe a sigh of relief), as the saying goes, "people have three urgent needs" is really good, cough! Finally, it's simple. How about a refund?

1: OK, just a moment, please. (Press the computer) I'm sorry, sir. You spent 356.25 yuan in total. After deducting 300 yuan's advance payment, you have to pay 56.25 yuan.

Man: (surprised, a moment later) Are you, are you, are you sick? How can it cost more than 300 yuan to go to the toilet?

1: You are sick. I charge for computers, which is fair.

Man: Didn't you say that 50 cents goes in and 30 cents goes out, so it's only 80 cents?

2: No, that's a fixed fee, which is equivalent to monthly rent.

Man: What? And monthly rent?

2. Yes, we are carrying out the activity of "building a harmonious toilet and providing humanized service" recently. In addition to convenience, we also launched other convenience items, such as providing paper towels, towels, hot water, perfume, thinner, Mu Si and so on.

Man: It's only a loophole, and it costs so much.

1: We use bundled charging, with a total of 998 1 charging items. According to computer calculation, you accepted 56 services at your convenience, with a total consumption of 356.25 yuan.

Man: Please tell me, what did I spend?

1: ok, I can tell you one by one. Let me ask you, is the spear hole you are squatting in 18?

Male: 18? Yes!

1: That's right. There are two kinds of spear pits: free and charged, among which: No.4, 14 and No.24 are free, and the spear pit you squatted in 18 is lucky, so 50 yuan's pit selection fee should be added.

M: Nonsense. If it's free, why not say it in advance?

2: Needless to say, the free three spear pits are being overhauled. M: Isn't this a lie? ) ok! I ask you again, did you see colorful lanterns and hear wonderful music when you were squatting in the spear pit?

M: Music? (Nodding) There seems to be.

2. OK, this is our color ring service, 15 yuan.

Man: Are you kidding? There is a charge for this, too. What else is there?

1: We also provide you with: traffic integral, weather forecast, stock market information and visitors' display. ...

M: OK, OK ... You're selling like hell. You should tell me whether I need these services before it is convenient for me.

1: This is set by the computer. The front of your squat pit is marked with the 8 1 button. You can cancel it manually if you don't need it. If you don't cancel, it will be regarded as the default.

Man: It's really dark here.

2. Don't talk nonsense. Our toilet is not black. Equipped with fluorescent lamps, spotlights and colored lights, it is absolutely bright.

M: Well, it's my bad luck. You give me the bill, and I'll see what other messy projects there are.

1: OK, please show me your ID card or other valid documents.

Man: What? Do I need to check my ID card to go to the toilet?

1: don't get me wrong, sir, we are implementing the regulations: first, use valid documents as bills; The second is to confirm whether your identity is a citizen of this city;

M: What's the difference between being a citizen of this city?

2: Sorry, if you are out of town, we have to add roaming charges due to cross-regional consumption.

M: You're just charging. I want to complain to you.

2: Do you want to complain? No problem, our complaint number here is 3838438.

Man: (grabs the phone and makes a phone call)

(A series of telephone voices: Female voice: Hello, this is the star-rated toilet telephone automatic service system. Please select the language type: Chinese Press 1, English Press 2, Russian Press 3, Hindi Press 4, Malay Press 5 ...)

Man: (Click on the phone: beep)

M: (impatient) Well, what a mess.

1: Yes! Brother, I advise you to pay the bill and leave quickly.

Man: Leave? It's really irritating. No, I must ask you for an explanation today.

2: discuss it? I tell you, a lawyer named Huang came yesterday. By the way, is his eloquence as good as yours?

Man: What happened to him?

He also said that he would argue with us, and he struggled for two or three hours. Do you know the final result?

M: How did it end?

1: Anyway, he not only didn't talk to us, but also kept his stomach full. Also forced him to urinate, and finally he had to spend the second time with me.

Man: Ah! (downward)