Three plays by Mr. Li

According to legend, there was a poor peasant named Li in Baomeihua Village, Bingcun Village, Meixian District, Meizhou City. He has been very clever since he was a child and is willing to use his head. He said he was more eccentric and witty than the average child. But because of his poor family, he didn't go to a private school until he was seven or eight years old. Every time after class, he never forgets anything, and in the following time, he still plays secretly. Therefore, I am often reprimanded and punished by Mr. Private School. Wen Gu was dissatisfied and bored. He wanted to find a chance to be angry with Mr Wen Gu. It happens that this gentleman is a person who is not strict with himself, and often invites people to fight with birds. Li saw it in his eyes, thought it in his heart, and had an idea.

One day, Mr. Wang asked everyone to recite "The Outline of Birth" together, and Li made up a paragraph in disorder, saying: The outline of birth is inherently good; The dog refutes the home, and the war is rolling ... When Mr. Wang hears it, it sounds wrong, like Li's voice. So I told everyone to stop watching, and specially called Li back. Wen Gu did not miss a word in one go. Mr. Wang had nothing to say, but later he told Li about the lecture and said, Li, although you are smart, you like to get into trouble. I ask you to forget everything! When Wen Gu heard this, he quickly said, "Sir, did I forget?" ? The gentleman said, haven't you forgotten? Tell me! All right! Wen Gu quickly replied: One, one, one, Teacher Wang taught Ya to play Wobi; Two, two, two, sir, teach you to fight together. I'm hurting my rotten feet. I'm so angry: what did you say? ! Wen Gu asked unhurriedly, right, sir? Mr. Wang was even more angry and roared: Hum! You really don't understand! Hearing this, Li asked calmly, Ah! You asked me how high the sky is and how thick the ground is. I know. Mr. a listen to puzzling: what? Do you know how high the sky is? Well, then tell me! Wen Gu said: I know that the sky is two arrows (ass) high! Mr. Wang reprimanded: What a shame! Wen Gu quickly explained: Really, when my mother gave me "defecation" (wiping my ass after defecation), she always said that my "arrow suddenly" arched for a long time, and an arrow suddenly rose for a long time. If two arrows suddenly rise, will it be the sky? Mr. Wang felt sick. From then on, I dare not make things difficult for Li.

The story of eating shit

Since Mr. Wang was angry with him, he always treated Mr. Li differently, although he dared not scold him casually. He suspects that Li is always doing bad things at school. Some students are mostly rich children. Seeing that Li is a poor boy, they always want to bully him and threaten to catch Li. Teacher Wang didn't educate and persuade in time after hearing about it.

Li was convinced and wanted revenge, so he came up with a clever plan to preempt the attack. One day, Li went home, fried a tube of soybeans, pounded them into powder with an iron pan, peeled and pounded the steamed yellow sweet potato, kneaded the yellow powder and sweet potato into a ball, squeezed them out with a bamboo tube and piled them in a big bowl. At school, they were secretly put in Mr. Wang's fire kitchen. Mr. Wang opened the kitchen door and saw a lot of shit in the bowl at a glance. He stepped back quickly and covered his nose. I thought to myself: this kind of thing is always done by Li, but I dare not insist, so I immediately called all my classmates to ask questions. All the students said it wasn't me. Only Li said nothing and pretended to panic. When the teacher and classmates saw it, they all said: This must be Li! Li squeaked and didn't speak. Teacher Wang asked the students: What should I do? Those students who threatened to catch Li and pour excrement immediately replied: Who told him to eat! Wengu quickly begged for mercy and said, Sir, I won't dare again. Give me a break this time! But everyone said: well done! Be sure to eat! So, Wen Li made a helpless appearance in ancient costume, picked up the bowl of shit he made and ate it. People dispersed in a hubbub when they saw that he really ate shit. Then Li knows that the food is delicious and sweet. In fact, this is Li's trick, and the fun is yet to come!

A few days later, Li Zhen really put a pile of shit in a bowl and put it when Mr. Cook was unprepared. When Mr Wang saw this scene, he was very angry. He immediately asked Li to eat it again. Lee will definitely cry and deny it. He explained to her husband, Sir, don't think about it. Shit is not really delicious. I ate it last time, but now I think I still want to throw up. How dare you do such a thing! ? It makes sense for Mr. Wang to think about it carefully, but no one will admit it if he asks other students. How to deal with this? Mr. Wang thought for a long time and said, well, you don't admit it. This thing is not mine. Let everyone have a bite! Li said quickly, I won't eat if I want them to. The gentleman said, yes, everyone has a bite except Li! When Mr. Wang said this, all the students turned blue with fear and cried for mercy. At this time, Li came out to do good deeds and said, sir, I don't think shit tastes good. Let them smell it! As a result, Mr. Wang followed suit, let everyone smell it and let several students vomit on the spot. Only Li hid in the side and secretly laughed. I thought to myself: Hum! See which one of you dares to catch the cliff and pour the shit? Afterwards, everyone knew all the details and never dared to bully Li again. This is the story of eating shit.

Look who fell into the pond.

Since the story of eating shit happened, Mr. Wang has nothing to say on the surface, but secretly hates Li. He also told people that one day Li would fall into the pond and wake up! Who knows, this let Li know again. Although it was a threat, Li has been flogged and reprimanded since then. I thought to myself: your old gentleman can't be human, no wonder I'm a ghost. Do you want to see who fell into the pond?

So, I took the opportunity to strike first and retaliate against Li .. Li observed Mr. Wang's daily behavior. He found that Mr. Wang had the habit of urinating at night, and he was too lazy to pee in the toilet behind the school. Instead, he peed on the pond in front of the school. Afraid of falling, I grabbed the cloth tree on the pond when I was shitting. Li saw these feelings.

In fact, he had a plan in mind. He took advantage of people's unprepared, dug up the cloth tree by roots, then put it back in its original place and compacted it with soil, leaving no trace. Hiding in the dark not far from the pond at night, waiting for Mr. Shan to come out to shit. When I heard the school door ring in the middle of the night, sure enough, Teacher Wang came out to take a shit again. When Mr. Wang saw that he had just got up, he suddenly threw a big stone into the pond. Surprised by this, Mr. Wang quickly reached for the cloth to shake the tree. Unexpectedly, with a thud, people and trees fell into the pond, which was high and slippery, scaring Mr. Wang into shouting for help. At this time, Li just pretended not to hear. When Mr. Wang saw it was Li, he shouted, It's you. Come on, give me a hand! Wenjiazhuang was surprised and said, Oh, it's your lordship. How did you fall into the pond? Husband lied: hey, it was hot, I couldn't sleep, went out to enjoy the cool, and accidentally fell into the pond. Li gave a cry and pulled it with his hand. He quickly pulled a few times and then let go, making her husband look like Reservoir Dogs. Pull hard for the last time At this time, deliberately asked Li: Sir, what is it like to soak in the pond? Mr. Wang said shyly and quickly, Oh, don't mention it ... From then on, Mr. Wang didn't even dare to think about making things difficult and punishing students.

Comments: The story of Mr. Li in Sanxi took place in the late Ming Dynasty. This was more than 300 years ago. At that time, the education of school teachers was perfusion and corporal punishment, so there was often confrontation between teachers and students, teachers were difficult to teach, and life was uncomfortable, so this happened. However, young Li's cleverness and wit are too much for her husband.