Satya's four life postures

If the book "The Power of the Present" tells us that thinking is wrong, then don't dwell on thinking for a long time, live in the thoughts of the past and the future, pull out your brain and focus your consciousness on the present.

The book Thinking Changes Life tells us how to change the wrong way of thinking, thus changing behavior and improving negative emotions.

The book "Satya's Family Therapy Model" tells people that it is not enough to "treat" one person. The essential reason is that people live in relationships. Only by presenting the hidden relationship problems in the whole family can this person feel, experience and interact with it to form a new perception, and this person may change. And this way of presentation is role-playing, which is what Satya called family combination therapy.

Satya believes that people's perception of the world is either classified as a hierarchical model or a growth model, and people perceive the world from these four aspects.

First, how to define the relationship. If a person thinks that a relationship belongs to a hierarchical model. Then he thinks people are dominant, obedient, or. Threatened to be rewarded. Such as father and children, boss and workers, teachers and students.

Second. How to define an individual? The hierarchical model advocates conformity and conformity. The definition of an individual depends on the standards of others. The growth model holds that everyone has equal value and everyone is a unique combination of similarity and difference.

Third, how to explain the incident. In the dominance-obedience model, the explanation of one thing is often linear, that is, there is only one correct way. There is only one inducing reason for any result, for example, result C is only caused by B.

In growth mode. An event is defined as the result of a series of important variables. For example, C is the result of the combination of B, D and E. All kinds of things happen at the same time and are related to each other in some interactive way, which is not linear.

Fourth, what is the attitude towards change?

People who are based on the dominance-obedience model look for the only correct answer and don't like the emergence of change. It is very important to change the growth mode. Inevitably, people will be afraid of the unknown, but the attitude of taking risks has become part of what they are trying to change.

At the same time, Satya believes that a person's survival will face the triangle relationship among situation, self and others. Different people will develop different survival modes in the face of this triangular relationship, which can also be said to be a defense mechanism. There are four survival modes:

Please: I will give full respect to others and situations, but I don't care about TA's true feelings. Please sacrifice self-worth. It denies our self-esteem and sends people our unimportant information. The behavior shown is "too good" behavior, apologizing, asking for forgiveness, complaining and begging.

Blame: the opposite of flattery. I believe I should defend my rights, not accept any excuses, troubles or insults from anyone, and never show "weakness". Constantly bothering and blaming others or the environment to protect themselves. I think I just need to consider my own situation.

Superrational type: this type ignores the value of oneself and others, and shows that superrationality is only concerned with the environmental background. TA people gush out seemingly correct views, which are wise and eloquent. The characteristic of this gesture is to maintain objectivity. We neither allow ourselves nor others to pay attention to our feelings.

This also reflects a social norm: maturity means not touching, not examining, not feeling or expressing our emotional feelings.

For example, ta will change "I'm cold today" to "It's cold today".

Most people will not always use the same survival posture, but will adopt different coping styles in different situations. But when communicating under pressure, we tend to adopt a certain posture.

This is to learn to survive from the family at an early age, and then form a set of survival rules of our own, but this rule sometimes does not work well when we grow up, so we should improve the operation of the bad functions of childhood.

When people's verbal information and emotional information contradict each other, we call it inconsistent communication. Where should such an inconsistent attitude towards life go?

Satya believes that these four survival postures are all manifestations of low self-esteem coping styles. Individuals need to develop a fifth posture: the consistency of appearance and appearance.

Appearance consistency means giving due respect to yourself, others and the situation, and dealing with problems from the perspective of considering yourself, caring for others and fully understanding the status quo. It doesn't mean to be happy and carefree all the time, nor does it mean to be polite and behave appropriately under any circumstances.

At this time, people use consistent words to express consistent emotions. It's not what they seem.

Responding in a consistent way is an option. Making this choice at the level of consciousness requires us to fully perceive, understand and accept ourselves, others and situations and be responsible for ourselves.

Satya believes that to add something to these changes in communication attitude, rather than completely overthrow it, is to add some new content to what is already known or existing, so that the change can undergo the process of transformation.

Reference book: Satya family therapy model

The next article will discuss how change and transformation happen.