Twilight II Bella's English Monologues and Translation after Edward's Leaving

"Well, let's talk." I said, it sounds braver than I think.

He took a deep breath.

"Bella, we're leaving."

I also took a deep breath. This is an acceptable choice. I think I'm ready, but I still have to ask.

"Why now? In another year-"

"Bella, it's time. How long can we stay in forks? Carlisle can hardly live to be thirty, and now he will be thirty-three. In any case, we have to start again. "

His answer puzzled me. I thought leaving meant letting his family live a quiet life. If they want to leave, why should we leave? I stared at him, trying to figure out what he wanted to say.

He looked back at me coldly.

A wave of extreme disgust came over me, and I realized that I had misunderstood him.

"When you say we-"I said softly.

"I mean my family and myself." Each word is independent, and its meaning is clear.

I shook my head back and forth mechanically, trying to figure out what was going on. He waited without showing the slightest impatience, and it was several minutes before I spoke.

"All right," I said, "I'll go with you."

"You can't, Bella. The place we are going to ... is not for you. "

"Where you are is the right place for me."

"I'm not for you, Bella."

"Don't be silly," I made myself sound angry, but it sounded like begging. "You are the best part of life."

"My world is not for you." He said coldly.

"What happened to Jasper-it's no big deal, Edward! That's nothing! "

"You're right," he admitted. "This is exactly what we expected."

"You promised me! In Phoenix, you promised me that you would stay-"

"As long as it's what's best for you." He interrupted me and corrected my wording.

"no! This is about my soul, isn't it? " I shouted angrily and all the words exploded in my heart-I don't know why, but it still sounded like a prayer. "Carlisle told me, I don't care, Edward, I don't care! You can take my soul, I don't want to be without you-my soul is already yours! "

He took a deep breath and stared at the ground for a long time. His mouth is a little twisted, but it is subtle and difficult to detect. He finally looked up, but his eyes were different and he became more determined-just like liquid gold solidified.

Bella, I don't want you to come with me. He spoke these precise words slowly, and his indifferent eyes fell on my face, watching me gradually understand his true meaning.

"You ... don't ... want me to go?" I tried to say these words, but I was confused by the information they conveyed and the order of arrangement.

"Don't."

I stared into his eyes, and he looked at me without apology. His eyes are as hard, transparent and deep as topaz. I feel I can see through the depths of his eyes, but I can't see a place that contradicts what he just said in the bottomless place.

"Well, that will change a lot of things." My voice sounded calm and rational, which surprised me. This must be because I have become numb. I don't understand what he is saying to me. Those words are still meaningless.

When he spoke again, his eyes turned to the tree. "Of course, I will always love you ... to some extent. But what happened that night made me realize that it was time to make a change. Because I'm ... tired of pretending it's not me, Bella. I am not a person. " He looked back. The perfect face is cold, but the outline is not human. "I've let go for too long, and I'm sorry for that."

"No," my voice is only as light as a whisper now; My consciousness slowly flowed through my blood vessels like sulfuric acid and began to permeate my whole body. "Don't do this."

He just stared at me, and I could see from his eyes that my words were too late. He has already done so.

"You are not good to me, Bella." He changed the theme of his previous speech so that I wouldn't argue any more. I know very well that I don't deserve him.

I opened my mouth to say something, and then closed it again. He waited patiently without any expression on his face. I opened my mouth and tried again.

"If ... this is what you want."

He nodded again.

I'm numb all over, and I don't feel anything below my neck.

"But I want to ask you a favor, if it's not too much." He said.

I want to know what he saw from my expression, because he responded and something flashed on his face. However, before I could figure out what was going on, he calmed himself down and put on the same harsh mask.

"Anything will do." I swear that although my voice is weak, I refuse to show weakness.

I stared at him, and his stiff eyes began to melt, and the gold in his eyes became clear again. His eyes are blazing, burning fiercely in my eyes, and I can't resist it.

"Don't do anything rash or stupid," he ordered, and stopped being mean. "Do you understand what I said?"

I nodded helplessly.

His eyes cooled down and the sense of distance came back to his eyes. "Of course, I was thinking about Charlie. He needs you. Take good care of yourself-for him. "

I nodded again. "I will." I said softly.

"In return, I will promise you one thing," he said. "I assure you, this is the last time you see me. I'm not coming back. I won't let you suffer such a thing again. You can go on with your life without my interference, as if I never existed. "

My knees must be shaking, because the tree suddenly shook, and I could hear blood pounding the roots behind my ears, faster than normal. His voice sounds more distant.

He smiled gently: "Don't worry, you are human-your memory is just a filter. For you humans, time will heal all wounds. "

"What about your memory?" I asked, it sounded as if something was stuck in my throat, and I seemed to be suffocating.

"Oh,"-he paused for a moment-"I won't forget it, but we ... we get distracted easily." He smiled; His smile was calm, but there was no smile in his eyes.

He took a step back, farther away from me: "I think I have said everything." We won't bother you again. "

He used the plural "we" and caught my attention; This surprised me. I thought I couldn't see anything.

"Alice won't come back." I realized that I didn't know how he heard what I said in my heart-there was no sound in those words-but he seemed to understand me.

"Yes, they are all gone. I want to stay and say goodbye to you. "

"She wanted to say goodbye to you, but I convinced her that it would be better for you to make a complete break and change completely."

I feel dizzy and can't concentrate. His words whirled in my mind like a whirlpool. Last spring, I listened to what the doctor in Phoenix Hospital said to me when he showed me X-rays. You see, it's completely cracked here, and his fingers follow the picture of broken bones. That's good. It's easier to recover and get better faster.

I try to breathe normally. I need to concentrate and find a way out of this nightmare.

"Goodbye, Bella." He is still so calm and easy to say.

"Wait!" I squeezed out the word and held out my hand to him, hoping that my motionless legs would allow me to move forward.

I thought he would reach out to me, too, but his cold hand hugged my waist tightly and straightened my body. He bent down and gently put his lips on my forehead, but the moment was short and I closed my eyes.

"Take good care of yourself." His breath makes my skin feel cold.

Suddenly, a soft and unnatural breeze blew. I suddenly opened my eyes, and the leaves of a small rattan maple trembled with the breeze raised behind him when he left.

He left.

My legs trembled, and I followed him into the forest, completely ignoring my behavior, which didn't help at all. The trace of the place where he had been soon disappeared, there were no footprints and the leaves were still, but I kept walking without thinking. I can't do anything. I must keep walking. If I stop looking for him, it's all over.

Love, life, the meaning of life ... it's all over.

I'll go, go. I walked slowly through the dense bushes, and time meant nothing to me. Hours passed, but not just a few seconds. Maybe I feel that time has stopped, because no matter how far I go, the surrounding forests look the same. I began to worry that I was going around in circles, in a small circle, but I kept walking and stumbling all the way, and it was getting dark and I often fell down.

Finally, I tripped over something-it's dark around now, and I don't know what I stepped on-I lay on the ground, turned over, lay on my side and breathed, and then curled up in the wet bushes.

I lay there, feeling that this situation took longer than I realized. I don't remember how long it's been since nightfall. Is it always so dark here at night? Of course, there is usually a ray of moonlight through the clouds, sprinkled on the rustling treetops, penetrated the canopy-like shade and fell to the ground.

But not tonight. The sky is dark tonight, probably because there is no moon tonight-but there is an eclipse and a new moon.

A new moon. I'm shivering, although I'm not cold.

It was a long time before I heard them shouting.

Someone is calling my name. The sound was drowned out by the moisture around me, but they must be calling my name. I didn't recognize whose voice it was. I want to answer, but I feel dizzy. It took me a long time to come to the conclusion that I should respond to them. Before that, the shouting had stopped.

After a while, the sound of rain woke me up. I don't think I really fell asleep. I'm just in a coma that I can't think about. I tried my best to hold on to that feeling of numbness and not to realize what I didn't want to know.

The rain makes me a little upset. It's cold. I spread my arms and covered my face.

Just then, I heard shouts again. This time it is farther away from me, and sometimes it sounds like several voices calling me together. I tried to take a deep breath and remembered that I should answer, but I didn't think they would hear my voice. Can I shout loudly enough?

Suddenly, another voice came, surprisingly close to me. That's a purring with a nasal sound, it's an animal's voice. It sounds like this animal is very big. I don't know if I'm scared, I'm not scared-I just feel numb. However, that's nothing, and the whining voice walked away.

It's been raining. I can feel the rain running down my cheeks. When I saw the light, I turned my head with all my strength.

At first, it was just a faint light reflected from the bushes in the distance. The light is getting brighter and brighter, illuminating a larger area, unlike the beam gathered by a flashlight. The light penetrated the thickest bush, and I could see that it was a propane lamp, but that's all I could see-the bright light blinded me for a while.

"Bella."

The voice was low and strange, but it recognized me at once. He didn't call my name in the search, but he made sure he found me.

I looked up, looked up-this figure looks incredibly high-and I stared at this dark face, and now I can see that he is looking down at me. I vaguely realized that the stranger might just look so tall because I was still lying on the ground, looking up at him from the ground.

"Are you hurt?"

I know the meaning of these words, but I can only stare at him, and my consciousness is still very confused. Is this awareness still important now?

"Bella, my name is Sam? Uri. "

This name is not familiar at all.

"Charlie asked me to come to you."

Charlie. This touched my heart and made me try to concentrate on what he said. Charlie is important, if nothing else makes me feel more important.

The tall man stretched out a hand and I stared at it, not knowing what to do.

He looked at me with black eyes for a while, then shrugged his shoulders and quickly pulled me up from the ground and held me in his arms.

He walked through the wet forest with agility and ease, while I held his arm limply. Somewhere in my heart, I know this should make me uneasy-I was taken away by a stranger. However, there is nothing to worry about in my heart.

It seems that a lot of lights appeared soon, and many men whispered that they could not hear clearly. Sam. Yuri slowed down as he approached the chaotic crowd.

"I found her!" His voice is deep.