Very embarrassing funny quotations.

God saw your desire and created water; God saw that you were hungry and created rice. God saw that you had no lovely friends and created me; However, I also saw that there are no idiots in this world, and I created you by the way.

If the government stipulates that a person can only be kind to one person in his life, I'd rather it was you. Till death do us part, I have no regrets! But the government has no regulations, so forget it! Quotations from funny Weibo

Miss you is a happy thing! Nice to meet you! Loving you is what I will always do! Keeping you in mind is what I have been doing! But ... I lied to you, and it just happened! Ha ha!

The phone rings, which means I'm thinking of you! Two voices mean I like you! Three voices mean I love you! When the seventh sound rings … damn it, I really need to talk to you, so don't answer the phone!

According to statistics, people over 99.9 who look like pig heads use thumb buttons to read short messages! Hey, hey, don't change hands, it's too late. Pig head! Quotations from funny Weibo

I wrote your name in the sky, but the wind blew it away; I wrote your name on the beach, but it was washed away by the sea; I wrote your name in every corner … I was taken away by the police!

If it's a mistake to look good … I'm all wet. If it's a crime to be cute, I've committed a heinous crime. It's really hard to be a man! You'll be fine! Yes and innocent, I envy you!

When the white clouds pass by, it is the trace of my missing you; When the sun shines, that's my miss for you; When it rains, it is proof that I miss you; When it thundered, it was my prayer to heaven that you were hit …

If I can meet you if I burn incense for one year, I can know you if I burn incense for three years, and I can cherish you if I burn incense for ten years, I am willing to convert to Christianity for the sake of happiness in my next life.

Being your friend for so long, you have always cared about me, but I often give you trouble. I really don't know how to repay you. Be a cow and a horse in the next life! I will definitely pull up the grass for you to eat …

Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! I tell you it's okay, and you don't fart!

I miss you very much, but I'm sorry to call you. I am afraid that you are busy, that you ignore me, that you think I am harassing me, and I really want to contact you. However, the telephone bill is really expensive. Please call me!

If you were a meteor, I would chase you. If you are a satellite, I will wait for you. If you were a star, I would fall in love with you. Too bad you're an orangutan. I can only see you in the zoo! Alas ... what a pity!

I'm so confused now, I don't know what I'm thinking, and I'm bored to death in my mind. I really don't know what to do. Can you tell me, I really don't know whether to eat dried noodles or Ah Q bucket noodles!

Thank you for accompanying me when I was most frustrated and helping me when I needed help most. I just want to tell you that nothing good has happened since I met you! You are a loser!

I'm sorry to text you so late. If it bothers you, I'll tell you here! Serve you right! Who told you to go to bed earlier than me?

Meeting you is the beginning of my heart, falling in love with you is my happy choice, owning you is my most precious wealth, stepping on the red carpet is my eternal motivation, and the person I love forever is you. Unfortunately, I sent it to the wrong person!

Because of you, I believe in fate; Because of you, I believe in past lives. Maybe all this is predestined by heaven, pulling us together. Now I really want to say what evil I did in my last life!

Starting from tomorrow, the municipal government has decided to drive away all the young people with mental retardation who are ugly and detrimental to the city appearance! Hurry up and pack your things, go out and take shelter, and don't tell anyone that I informed you, remember! You are welcome!

Very funny QQ signature

Very funny QQ signature

1, because I only drink pure water when drinking water and pure milk when drinking milk, so I am very simple now.

2, playing people really need to calculate, you have to play with me, I let you do nothing.

When the oath becomes a test, the feelings are only perfunctory.

I decided to go my own way and let others chase me every day.

You know, the flowers will bloom again and the birds will come again. You're gone, but someone will still come.

I never knew that the financial crisis was actually called an emotional crisis.

7. I found that I was not as persistent and bitter as before.

8, the so-called love is actually just a little panic, you can touch each other to death.

9. If you bully me again in the future, I will curse you and turn you into a seven-dimensional space in my next life.

10, am I too radiant every day to make you talk nonsense?

1 1, as long as you know, I am a good man selected from so many good people.

12, if you are becoming a memory, what I fear most is to live up to my expectations.

13, what I miss now is actually not my first love, but my stupidity in my first love.

14, when we let go, the smile is only used to cover up the painful scars.

15, I once foolishly thought that over time, I would forget those memories more and more.

16, if you use a honey trap, then I will definitely accompany you.

17, even if you lose something, you can't lose your stomach. No matter what you lack, you can't be stupid.

18, earned 200 million, a disappointment, a memory to this day.

19, I'm telling you, I'm an animal when I take off my clothes, and the devil wears clothes!

20. Without you, my brain is blank, and I have forgotten the concept of time.

2 1, the reason why I can't let go now is really not because I still love you, but because I am unwilling.

22. the chain will always fall off when it is critical, and it will not fall off when it is not critical.

I don't know what I want, but I know I've been longing to go with you.

24. If people live by eating, then rice is not called rice, but should be called feed.

I also want to be a normal person, but the world drives me crazy.

26. Do you know that your chat record with me is full of your automatic replies?

27. There are always too many accidents in every story. Why do we always insist on knowing the result?

28. I don't know which noble family you belong to, but your father is Marshal Tian Peng!

29. In fact, only by letting go of ourselves will the world let go of us.

30. I think a woman with a variety of amorous feelings is a lighter, and a woman without amorous feelings is a fire extinguisher.

3 1, don't wash it, if it weren't for the mud, the broken car would have fallen apart.

32. Call 10086 every time I'm in a bad mood. It never refuses to answer my phone.

33. Remember never to tell ghost stories at night, because people love to listen and ghosts love to listen.

34. Being born beautiful is an advantage, and later being beautiful is a skill.

35. That time you slipped and became a big cripple, but looking back, you flashed your waist again.

36. Actually, I really didn't wear smoky makeup. It's just that my dark circles have become a little serious recently.

37. Actually, trust is a funny kind of kindness. I'd love to.

38. If you are a flower, it is estimated that cows will not dare to shit in the future!

39. Idiots are idiots, but there are always more idiots clapping for them.

40, I want to tell you, how fast time is, how fast you roll; Get out of here as far as you can.

Synonym of ten

Chinese pronunciation: ten points [sh f ē n]

Explanation of words: very; What; Very; To an extreme degree

Synonym: very, extremely, extremely, quite, extremely, extremely, especially.

Make sentences with ten points

1. A very eye-catching recruitment notice is posted at the gate of the park.

They have a very good relationship.

I do my homework very carefully.

Xiaohong took the exam very seriously.

The cock crows loudly.

If he is not completely sure, he dare not promise.

7. The final exam is coming, and Xiaoming reviews his lessons carefully.

8. That bow is exquisite.

9. My alarm clock rings loudly.

10, the snow stopped, and the newly stepped footprints were very clear.

1 1. Giraffes have long necks.

Lions run very fast.

13, this matter is urgent. You must do it quickly.

14, the elephant has a long nose.

15 Teacher Zhang is very angry with Xiaoming for playing truant.

16, although the situation is serious, he is calm.

17, I do my homework very carefully.

18, Mom's cooking is delicious.

19, mom wore a red skirt today, which is very beautiful.

20. Dad's handwriting is very beautiful.

2 1, I keep a diary carefully.

22. The white rabbit's tail is red and short.

Make sentences with ten synonyms

Very: In this extraordinary period, it is safer not to go out.

Extreme: A howl in the middle of the night made them into extreme panic.

Hearing the news, he was frightened.

He is good at mathematics, and no problem can beat him.

Extreme: you can't go to extremes in your work, you should consider it comprehensively.

Extreme: I played basketball with the class next door today and lost more than 30 points. It's really embarrassing.

Special: I yearn for nature, especially the endless prairie.

Extended reading: discrimination of synonyms

1, synonym explanation: synonyms refer to words with similar or identical meanings. Synonyms have similar meanings and synonyms have the same meaning. )

2. Many synonyms express similar meanings, but the actual meanings are different. For example, exchange and communication, that is, both parties give their own things to each other, but with different objects. Exchanges are generally accompanied by gifts, ideas, materials, products, etc. Communication is compatible with ideas, experience, culture and materials. The objects of exchange and collocation are mostly words with more specific meaning or smaller scope; The objects of communication and collocation are mostly words with abstract meaning or a wide range of references.

3. Distinguish from the emotional color: Respect and respect are synonyms in Chinese, and when used as verbs, they show respect, so people don't pay much attention to it. The difference mainly lies in the words respect and emphasis. Respect means respect and admiration, while respect means attention and solemnity. Respect: generally for elders and superiors, respect: for all people (between peers).

Many synonyms have a common feature, that is, they often have the same morpheme. Such as: tired, tired, tired. The morphemes with the same meaning in these synonyms determine that their basic meanings are the same; Different morphemes reflect their differences in meaning. Therefore, when students are looking for synonyms of a word, they can grasp the morphemes that express the basic meaning of the word and use them to form words, so as to find synonyms. Master the method of finding synonyms, and pay attention to accumulating words. The more words are accumulated, the easier it is to find synonyms.

5. The ideographic nature of Chinese characters determines that the essence of word meaning teaching is word meaning teaching. Because it only makes sense when a word is also a word. The teaching of word meaning is very helpful for students to master glyphs, which can reduce mechanical memory and increase word meaning memory. It is also important to cultivate students' reading ability, because to understand the text, we must first understand the meaning of each word.

6. By looking up the dictionary, students can be trained to understand the types of synonyms. Some words must be interpreted in context, so they must be guided by teachers. Increasing the amount of reading books can also enhance students' vocabulary ability. More analysis and comparison of new words will be of great help to train children to understand the meaning of words accurately, distinguish the nuances of specific things, improve their ability to understand and use language, and use synonyms correctly.

A joke with a very interesting connotation

1, others hold hands and I hold my dog. Take a walk, swim and see who bites badly.

2. Heaven is in a woman's cave!

Whenever someone asks me what to do, I will say I will do it until I die.

I want a stable score, can resist the cruelty of the final exam, and have a home among a bunch of academic tyrants.

Please don't take my tolerance for you on the spot as your shameless capital.

6. I won't watch you jump into the fire pit, I will close my eyes.

7. I will be scolded four times a day at home during the summer vacation: I don't get up in the morning, I surf the Internet when I get up, I don't want to eat, I don't sleep at night ~

8. No matter how smart a woman is, she looks confused, and no matter how stupid a man is, she looks sober.

9. If you like weirdos, I'm actually pretty.

10, I was lazy in bed in the morning, so I took out a coin from my pocket: if all six shots were heads, I would go to class! I've been thinking about it for a long time. Forget it. Don't take the risk.

1 1. A woman who says she is smart is unlikely to be dated, let alone hijacked by terrorists.

12, I skipped classes too much. One day, I wanted to go to class and met the professor. The professor was surprised and said, I haven't seen you for so long and I've grown so big.

13, don't think that just because a girl is beautiful can seduce me, at least she is stupid enough!

14. If my friends can sell them for five dollars each, I can also make a small fortune.

15, a man has some money in his pocket and will not be idle from the waist down!

16, when I got up this morning and was brushing my teeth, my mother suddenly patted my ass behind me and vaguely said, young man, you have a great figure! Then I ran back to my room laughing and said to my father, old man, you are going to lose this time. My son didn't say I was crazy! God, I almost swallowed toothpaste.

17, fart to let others smell!

18, my woman! Never play outside with other men in the middle of the night! And don't drink with other men!

19, so far I dare not fall in love, just because Taiwan Province Province is alone overseas!

20. The most beautiful thing in the world is to sleep with the air conditioner on after dinner.

2 1. A young man, with a good job and a cheerful personality, went to the Zen master to enlighten him when he could not find someone. The Zen master looked at him, pointed to his mobile phone, waved and said nothing. The young man suddenly realized and knelt down and left. Two months later, the young man came to see the Zen master again: I follow your advice, stay away from mobile phones, stay away from the internet and love life. But there is still no object. The Zen master shook his head: use WeChat, shake it!

22. As soon as others praise me for being handsome, I worry that others will not praise me enough.

23. For men, the most beautiful woman is an unattainable woman; For a woman, the most handsome man is the man she already has.

24. If you are an angel, the price of seeing you is my death.

25. I don't like sleeping with only one woman many times, but I like sleeping with many women only once.

26. How can you get married without experiencing scum? No one can be a mother casually!

27, let the storm come more violently, anyway, I sell umbrellas!

28. The world is so complicated and people are so confused. .

29. You are fit for nothing but being my wife.

30, you are the best example of abortion failure!

3 1, you have no right not to like my lifestyle, but you have the right to deceive yourself.

I can't fly, no matter for whom.

33. Nine dollars for marriage. Twelve yuan for divorce. Only fools divorce. So expensive,

How do you feel about the avalanche of homework? You got my man, but you didn't get my heart.

35. If you can't be a bad guy, be a good guy who tickles the bad guy.

36. After marriage, men are like tablecloths, which only appear when eating.

37. You are so mean to me and expect me to speak softly to you.

38, don't stare at me, stare again, I charge!

39. A man's yearning is a desire for the body and a heartfelt call for sexual desire. Unfortunately, I got this disease, which is called acacia.

40. A gentleman received a short message, which was written in a growling tone. The content is as follows: you uncle! ! ! Your mother! ! ! Your sister! ! ! Your family is happy! ! ! Holy shit! Is there such a blessing? !

4 1. If he says to you, forget me. Just tell the other person: I'm sorry, I never remember.

42. What the RMB should do is to follow the path of the US dollar, leaving the US dollar with no way out.

43. I am online and you are offline. I'm offline and you're online. I am online, you are invisible. You have violated my bottom line.

44. The first half: the student ID card, admission ticket and ID card are not taken with the second half: listening questions, reading questions, composition questions and cross-examination questions: the focus is on participation.

45, Tu Tu said, love a person is persistent. Persistence is holding a person's hand and not letting go.

46. Female students who have just returned from an internship in a Japanese company feel: No matter how high-end meetings, no matter how high-end people attend, those people have a polite meeting with you on the stage, but there are always people touching your thighs under the stage!

47. Someone always says in front of me: live first, then live. But I found that when you are busy with life, life is gone.

48. Don't believe any beautiful lies, such as the realization of materialism depends on your efforts!

49. Either endure or be cruel. A joke with a very interesting connotation

When I was born, God promised to marry his most beautiful daughter to me. I looked around and looked up and down, waiting for 2 1 year, but I still didn't see the shadow of the fairy. I was depressed, so I ran to ask God. God said: What's your hurry? I don't even have a girlfriend!

5 1. I bought a pair of beggar pants, which cost more than 500 yuan. As a result, my grandmother mended my pants when she washed them for me.

52. The lake is quiet, just like a mirror, clearly reflecting the blue sky, white clouds, red flowers and green trees.

53. I am a different color fireworks. He is two yuan a bunch.

54. I studied sacred knowledge, and you actually measured it with scores, which is simply an academic stain! Vulgar!

55. My newly acquired gf and I decided to break up with me after dating for a week, just because I haven't read the books of Oak Taviu Pass and the poems of Borges.

56. One heart can only hold one person. If you hold two people, then you are not alone.

57. When you are away from home, please remember: Be sure to return Niu B to Niu!

58、CZ； I would rather have a prince riding a pig than a prince pig riding a white horse.

59. My sister wears tights not to show off her figure, but to prevent thieves.

60. Your future depends on your dreams now, so go to sleep!

6 1, tell you not to push me, if you push me, I'll play dead for you!

62. The next time a boy laughs at your thick legs, you will answer him: your legs are thin and all three legs are thin.

63. It is forbidden to urinate here, and tools will be confiscated.

64. Broad and profound, concise summary of the essential elements of being an excellent woman and an excellent man!

65. Baby, you are vulgar and creative. When you pose in front of a man with an object all day, you are not sexy. You are itchy.

66. When I faced the final examination paper, I found that I was suffering from white school disease.

67. My computer and I have the same language. When I am gentle with it, it will collapse. Makes me extremely excited.

68. Come to think of it, I seem to have a disease of learning for nothing. Those funny jokes with connotations.

69, when the hardware can also copy!

70. Love is like a ghost. Many people believe, but few people meet.

7 1, I called you a little puss-head, which insulted a little puss-head. How can you let a little puss-head come out to meet people in the future?

72. The best thing in the world is to sleep with the air conditioner on when you are full.

73. The child said: Grandpa, can you sing little stars? Grandpa: Yes, Child: You can sing it to me. Grandpa: The stars in the sky can join Beidou!

74. Why hasn't the old man's garbage come yet?

75. I always wander between cow A and cow C.

76. Long hair is as gentle as water, not as cool as my short hair.

77. When someone pushes you down, no matter how hard and tired you are, stand up and give her a heavy slap.

78. Some songs fall in love after listening to the prelude, some people fall in love at first sight, and some homework doesn't want to be done after opening the first page.

79. It turns out that Sister Rong was also a flower. Ha ha.

80. A girl shouted motherland in the face of beautiful mountains and rivers! My mother! A boy who has a crush on her hurriedly calls for the motherland! My mother-in-law

8 1, get up every morning and shout: Fuck the Japanese. This is not only good for health, but also can cultivate patriotic moral sentiments!

I love you, but you have to sleep with me.

83. In fact, the day shift is short, and the computer passes as soon as it is turned on and off.

84, on impulse, the later crisis! The latest funny jokes with connotations.

85. I don't want to give you face. Why should I give you face?

86. The eldest sister belongs to the state-owned property and will never be sold cheaply.

87. No matter how powerful the Tang Priest is, he is just a monkey-trick.

Some men are as smart and changeable as the weather. Some women are as stupid as the weather forecast. She can't see the change of the weather.

89, don't flow crazy Gao Lingshi

90. Although the famous flowers are taken, I will loosen the soil.

9 1, a good friend is a silly smile when two people look at each other for no reason.

92. If the mid-term score slaps you, then the final exam slaps you. Are you sure the final exam didn't sting you?

93. Women always like to ask men: If your mother and I fell into the water at the same time, who would you be? At this time, you replied: Your father and I are drunk. Who are you helping?

94. It's really troublesome to meet strangers, and many lies have to be told.

95, the sky is falling, you hold, I hold!

96. At the risk of being abused and crying by mosquitoes, chatting on the screen of a mobile phone is true love.

97. After being young and frivolous, shall we get married?

98. If you are an unfathomable sea, I am a drowning man who doesn't know how to live or die.

99. Men are lewd. A stronger one is called a pervert, a stronger one is called a pervert, and a stronger one is called a pervert. Especially strong, they become perverted perverts and are called human aesthetic artists.

100, as soon as I took off my cotton trousers, Miss Chun came lightly.

10 1. The difference between a lie and an oath is that the listener takes it seriously and the speaker takes it seriously.

102, the public toilet is full, and my stomach hurts. Someone finally came out. Just as I was about to squat down, I heard an aunt scolding me at the back: Young people are not sensible and don't give way to old people. The young man said, auntie, this is a public toilet, not a bus!

103. If I can still remember you in my next life, I must die incompletely in my life.

104, Tangseng meat can live forever. I wonder if Tang priest's excrement has the same effect?

105, is the ring on your stomach?

106, for heaven's sake, the grass people are willing to pass all the final exams with 20 Jin of meat on them.

107, the personality you think is actually blind.

108, I am poor, please don't rob the tomb!

109, a man's greatest skill is to accommodate his girlfriend until other men can't stand it.

1 10, I like the way you don't like what I can't do.

1 1 1, why doesn't the country study imitation unlined upper garment with your face?

1 12, the woman outside the umbrella is doomed not to go out on rainy days.

1 13, I didn't want to marry a wife but married me.

1 14, please don't call me by my name during the final exam week, please call me Guo Er!

I think I will accompany you to the market every day in the future.

1 16, women are divided into married and unmarried, and men are divided into voluntary marriage and forced marriage.

1 17, as long as the hoe dance is good, there is a corner that can't be dug down?

1 18, it's not difficult to be single, but it's difficult to deal with those who try their best to make you end it.

1 19 You cried, but the eye shadow flashed more beautifully.

120, before marriage, men should lend money to let women eat well, and after marriage, women should lend money to let men eat well.

12 1, you can lie to me, but since you said it, please try your best to round this lie down, and don't let me expose it or I will kill you.

122, demo, don't kill yourself when you see me!

123, our boss came to the office and saw several female employees wearing makeup, so he reprimanded the manager: someone is wearing makeup in the office, why don't you care? The manager didn't say anything. After the boss left, he said to the female employees: Don't listen to him, let's continue to change. Suddenly, there was cheers in the office. Then, the manager added: you are so ugly that you won't let makeup make you live.

124, if you are the one, the female guest will turn off another man's light, and the aunt downstairs in the dormitory will turn off the whole floor.

125, teach you my menstrual fluid (test)!

126, the monthly exam and menstruation are good friends, come once a month.

127, if you love me, put on a wedding dress for me and then take off your clothes.

128, Chairman Mao taught us that your mother is helping you//

129, although people can't match horses, some people can match pigs.

130, forgetting is a luxury, and memory is torture.

13 1, I want to fly to your bed. Sorry, I slept on the kang.

132, you may not study hard, but you must not review well.

133, why am I still alive? That's because I'm waiting to die! Why did I kill and set fire? That's because I want to die!

134, life lies in stillness. How many years do you think the tortoise lived?

135, women's tears are the most useless liquid, but you make women cry, which means you are useless.

Shameless is also a quality! Missing is a kind of neuropathy!

137, people always make mistakes, otherwise the right road is crowded.

138, tell you a ghost story, school is about to start,

139. If you pay taxes in the mirror, I'm afraid some women will go bankrupt.

140, when playing cards, I fell in love with dice, when drinking, I fell in love with cups, when sleeping, I fell in love with quilts, when wearing shoes, I became a prince, and when I miss you, I think of your boys and old friends. How have you been recently? I wish you happiness!

14 1, people's loneliness can sometimes be seen from the body!

142, the contraceptive is valid for three years and the condom is valid for five years. Many times, love expires before drugs and condoms expire.

143, don't eat meat

144, I didn't guess the beginning of our story or the end of this story.

145, our goal: look at money and earn more.

146, honey, are you dead? Hold me tight when you die, and let the corpse collector know that we are a couple!

147, people have plenty of backgrounds, but I only have my back ~ ~.