I want to ask for a sketch about the romance of the Three Kingdoms, with as many burdens as possible and as loud as possible, just for harmony.

The script of Romance of the Three Kingdoms

Personnel: Cao Cao, Liu Bei, Guan Yu, Zhang Fei, Yang Bailao, Xi, Mrs. Gan, Kong Ming, commentator,

Plot:

Background music: dim swords and shadows ...............

The first act:

Narrator: It is said that the general trend of the world will be combined for a long time, and it will be combined for a long time. At the end of the Eastern Han Dynasty, the people of the Yellow Scarf were struggling, and people with lofty ideals rose up in succession. After Sun Yat-sen's Mausoleum, Wang Jing, Liu Bei and Liu Xuande became sworn friends with Guan Yu and Zhang Fei in Taoyuan and conspired for world affairs. On this day, Liu Bei sent Zhang Fei to find Guan Yu!

Guan Yu is doing nothing! Read a book!

Zhang: (singing) There is the sun in the sky and the moon in the water ... I look around, but I don't see Guan Yunchang. One is Yan Zhangfei and my brother sent me to meet my second brother, but I don't know where this fellow is fooling around. (Seeing Guan Yu: Second brother, second brother, I found you! )

Guan Yu: (stroking his beard, calmly) Third Brother is anxious. What happened?

Zhang Fei: Brother wants to discuss things with you. Why are you still reading? Second brother reads books all day. What book?

Guan Yu: It's Capital!

Zhang Fei: Let's go, let's go, big brother can't wait! (La Guan Yu)

Guan Yu: (cut) Go, what do you want me to do!

Go with Liu Bei! Guan Yu: Third brother, have you arrived yet?

Zhang Fei: Here we are. I'll knock! (knocking at the door)

Liu Bei is looking at the map! When you hear knocking at the door, get nervous and hide the map!

Liu Bei: The heavenly king covers the land! Zhang Fei: River Demon in Baota Town!

Liu Bei opens the door (Liu Bei and Guan Yu shake hands tightly): Comrade! I found you! !

Narrator: In the first year of the Han Dynasty, Xi Liangci ordered Dong Zhuo to enlist 350,000 troops into Luoyang and set up the Han Emperor. However, Dong Zhuo insulted the emperor, insulted the princes, and committed a heinous crime, which made people and gods angry. The wind is roaring, the horse is barking, and the Yellow River is roaring! Please listen to the voices of the people on both sides of Hedong. ...

Liu Bei: (singing with Zhang Fei in his arms) Zhang Laosan, let me ask you, where is your home?

Zhang Fei: (singing) My home is in Shanxi, and my eldest brother is in Henan to exchange rice! (freeze)

Zhang Fei looked back warily and closed the door. Three people look at the map together.

Act II:

Narrator: As the saying goes, if the government forces the people to rebel, the people will rebel. On this day, it snowed heavily, and an old man and her beautiful young daughter came from the official road! (Xi, like a naive girl)

Yang Bailao: (singing) The north wind is blowing, the snow is in the wind, the snow is in the wind, and the New Year is coming! Alas, this kind of life has been really hard since the collapse of the imperial court. I heard that Liu Huangshu is recruiting and preparing to rebel. I specially took my daughter Xi 'er to join the army. It seems that we have to take refuge in him! (Cough)

Daughter: Dad, I'm hungry! Yang Bailao: (takes out the pie) Come and eat the cake!

Jill: No, I want to eat cookies! Yang Bailao: Er, * * stole all the cookies!

Xi: Did he steal it? Really!

Yang Bailao: We have been looking for it for several days. I don't know where the recruitment club is. (Severe cough)

Xi 'er: Dad, don't worry, take a rest first and wait for me to have a look! Yang Bailao: Oh, great!

Xier (looking around, finally seeing it, running back): Dad, I found it.

Liu is leading troops! Yang Bailao, daughter, come closer.

Yang Bailao: Joey, get the door!

Xier: OK! (knocking at the door)

Liu is extremely nervous! Liu Bei hurriedly hid the map! Hide it!

Guan Yu: Third brother, go and have a look! Zhang Fei: Hmm!

Zhang Fei stepped forward and opened the door. Who stepped forward and looked at Zhang Fei!

Zhang Fei: Wow! Eighteen point five centimeters! The skin is still so good!

Xier: She's white!

Zhang Fei: And you are?

Yang Bailao (stepping forward and standing in front of Xi 'er): I'm his father!

Zhang Fei looked left and Yang Bailao blocked left; Look to the right and block to the right.

Zhang Fei was angry: huh? What a bad old man! Go away! (Leave Yang Bailao)

Yang Bailao has fallen! A groan of pain! Hull, pick it up!

Xier (to Zhang Fei): OK, don't you dare bully my dad, my girl will fight with you today! (noisy)

Guan Yu said: Who is making noise here?

Who hid behind Yang Bailao and stole a look at Guan Yu!

Zhang Fei: Second brother, they are coming to join the army!

Yang Bailao: Joey, meet the general!

Xier (adoring, shy): My daughter has already met the general!

Yang Bailao and Xi looked at each other. (Yangko: The sky is high and the clouds are light in the liberated areas, the people in the liberated areas love it, the democratic government loves the people, and the gratitude of the producers is endless. Hey hey hey hey hey hey. ) Yang Bailao coughed violently, and Xi 'er patted his father on the back.

Guan Yu (looking up and down): Join the army? Do you have a letter of introduction?

Yang Bailao: (taking out a letter of introduction) This is a letter of introduction from our village secretary!

Guan Yu: (Reading) Yang Bailao, male, with a height of1.75m and a weight of 58kg. Your figure is a little thin! What the hell! (throwing)

Yang Bailao: General, don't throw it away! (Pick it up)

Guan Yu: Did your daughter join the army? Does she have Mulan's skill?

Yang Bailao: My daughter is an amateur, but she is very good at playing tricks on people!

Guan Yu: (angry) Bold! I am an open rebel, how can I tolerate your despicable means? Come on, get out of here!

Liu beichu

Liu Bei: Wait. (Looking at Yang Bailao with bedroom eyes) Don't worry, second brother. As the saying goes, no matter whether it's a white cat or a black cat, catching a mouse is a good cat!

Yang Bailao: Yes, it is. Thank you, general.

Liu Bei: Don't say anything, it's fate!

Liu Bei: Somebody, take them down!

Guan Yu: Hum! (Buddha sleeve goes away)

Xier: General Guan, stay!

Guan Yu: I left gently, just as I came gently; I waved my hand gently without taking away a cloud ... (End)

Xier: You ... (singing) You hurt me and laughed it off/Honey, fly slowly, and be careful of the thorny rose in front!

Yang Bailao: Daughter, it's all right. There are many herbs in the world. Why do you have a crush on him? Guan Yunchang! I want to introduce you to a good one. He is handsome, charming and well-proportioned, and looks like Schwarzenegger and Tom Cruz. Last year, he was named one of the top ten outstanding young people in Shenzhen-Lu Bu!

Lu Bu walks around, let's go together!

Act III:

Narrator: Liu Bei went to Xuchang to see Emperor Han Xian, only to be held hostage by Cao Cao. On this day, Cao Cao sent general Chu Xu to invite Liu Bei to drink.

Sergeant: Chu Xu, the last general, met Liu Huangshu.

Liu Bei: General, please get up quickly. I wonder what the general is doing here.

Sergeant: At that time, Mei Qing was cooking wine. The Prime Minister admired the general's prestige and specially gave a banquet to invite his uncle to the mansion to chat!

Zhang Fei: Without a good banquet, there is no good wine. What did you drink?

Sergeant: Have a glass of sake and make friends!

Guan Yu: I'm afraid this is Xiang Zhuang's sword dance. His intention is to be Pei Gong.

Liu Bei: The general goes first, and the backup follows.

Guan Yu Zhang Fei: Big Brother, what should we do?

Liu Bei: Brothers, copy guys!

Cao Cao: (singing Peking Opera) I think at first ... today, we had a celebration wine. ...

Liu Bei: Cao Gong is in a good mood! Cao Cao: Xuande laughed!

Liu Bei: There! Cao Cao: Please, Duke Xuande!

Liu Bei: Prime Minister, please sit down!

Liu Bei: I don't know why the Prime Minister called Bei.

Cao Cao: To tell you the truth, I have long wanted to attack Yuan Shao, but it is freezing. Does Xuande have a good public policy?

Liu Bei: Afraid of the cold? Wear arctic velvet if you are afraid of cold! Everyone knows, doesn't the Prime Minister know?

Cao Cao: Oh? I wonder where this magical product came from.

Guan Yu and Zhang Fei: Harbin No.6 Pharmaceutical Factory!

Cao Cao: Xuande Gong helped me a lot! Osmanthus fragrans, sauerkraut!

Osmanthus fragrans: Here we are. (Send it for a tip. )

Liu Bei took out the silver, took out a big one, put it in, and gave a small one to osmanthus.

Osmanthus fragrans: Hum, stingy!

Guan Yu and Zhang Fei: Draw your sword and stare!

Cao Cao is angry.

Liu Bei (trembling slightly): Don't expect anything in front of Cao Gong! Stand down. (to Cao Cao) Cao Gong smiled.

Cao Cao: Xuan Degong has been wandering the rivers and lakes for a long time. Who can be a hero in today's world?

Liu Bei: This ... hero! ! Saddam's eldest son Uday and his second son Qusay fought bloody battles in Belgrade. They are heroes!

Cao Cao: How can you be called a hero when you are young and frivolous and die in a mess?

Liu Bei (thoughtfully): I heard that Abbas lived in the Jianghu for a long time after Arafat in the Middle East. He is a hero!

Cao Cao: Although this man is the comrade-in-arms of Arafat, the immortal bird, he is in danger at present. I don't think he will do much!

Liu Bei: So Ukraine's newly elected President Yushchenko is brave and resourceful. Can he be a hero?

Cao Cao: You can't be a hero when you are trapped in internal and external affairs!

Liu Bei: The terrorist tycoon bin Laden is a wily man. When the plane crashed into the building, Bush's 3000 armor couldn't stop it, which was admirable. Can he be a hero?

Cao Cao: It's hard to be cheerful, and life and death are uncertain. How can you call it a hero?

Liu Bei: Besides, I really don't know!

Cao Cao (close to Liu Bei's ear): The only heroes in the world today are Xuan Yinggong and Cao Er! (Lighter lights cigarette)

Liu Bei: (Chopsticks fall) Ah ah ah ah ah?

Cao Cao: Why did Xuan Degong do this?

Liu Bei: Ah! Ah ah! Such a delicate and wonderful lighter is really rare!

Cao Cao: Hehe, did Duke Xuande take a fancy to this?

Liu Bei: The Prime Minister smiled!

Cao Cao: Come on, do it! ! !

Act IV:

Narrator: Liu Bei drinks all day, which worries his wife, Mrs. Gan.

Mrs. Gump: What about the liver?

Guan Yu and Zhang Fei: Don't worry, sister-in-law, use Neptune golden urn!

Liu Bei (lying on his side in bed, burping): Be more comfortable the next day!

Mrs. Gump: Uncle, look at your brother's drunkenness, and he's going to pay for someone!

Zhang Guan: Sister-in-law, don't worry. (Step down)

Mrs. Gump: Hey, there is a strong Liu Bei standing in front of me. I didn't cherish him. I didn't regret it until he lost weight. The greatest pain in the world is this! If God gives me another chance, I must say "I love you". If we want to add a deadline to this commitment, I hope it will be 654.38+0 million years!

Liu Bei: Oh, dear, is this true? Don't be sad, madam. Listen to me sing a poem for you. There is news in the breeze, and the autumn moon is boundless. Thanks to my anxious mood, the days are like years. Although I am not symmetrical and handsome, I have a broad chest and strong arms.

Mrs. Gump: OK, let's go!

Act v:

Narrator: Liu Bei recruited soldiers and horses, and his momentum was growing. He is a world hero, who came here one after another. On this day, a ruffian scholar came to the tent!

Background: Journey to the West theme song

Kongming: Go, go, I'll go swimming! I'm not worried about not learning or not. I don't tell people the truth, but I wipe some oil from the mouse's mouth .........................................................................................................................................................

Zhang Fei: Who is making noise here?

Kong Ming: I'm wearing clothes. ...

Guan Yu: Are you Zhu Gekongming?

Kong Ming: Not only in Xiaoke.

Guan Yu: But I heard that Zhu Gekongming is a scholar in white. Why does your husband look like black charcoal?

Kong Ming: The general didn't know I was white, but he was forced by life and burned a boiler in Sichuan for two years! What a terrible past! It's an honor to meet the general today.

Guan Yu: Sir, you are too modest! So Mr. Wang joined the army, too

Kong Ming: Exactly! This is a small gift, no respect!

Guan Yu: We don't accept gifts for the Spring Festival this year.

Kong Ming: Receive gifts and melatonin!

Guan Yu: In that case, come with me, sir!

Kong Ming: General, please!

Guan Yu: Please, sir!

The two men looked at each other affectionately and jumped off the tango with Carmen Overture.

Zhang Fei: Honey, it really works!

Narrator: It is said that Liu Bei won Zhu Gekongming, just like a tiger with wings. Since then, the world has finally become a tripartite confrontation! If you want to know what will happen next, please pay attention to the 2000 Economics 2006 New Year Party! Thank you!