Ma Bao is getting impatient with the children. She knows it's bad, but she can't stand it. What should she do if she regrets every time she shouts?

Hello, I'm Mr. Yi Jun, and I'm glad to answer your question.

First of all, I understand how you feel. In fact, due to the impact of the epidemic, this children's holiday is constantly being extended. The process of "staying at home to fight the epidemic" with children has also exhausted the patience of many parents, and even the parent-child relationship of some families has dropped to freezing point. Then how should we break the deadlock and adjust our mood? Next, I will analyze it from the following three aspects.

self-consciousness

People are rational and emotional. When emotions prevail over reason, we will lose control. When we resume calm reflection, we will regret it very much and unconsciously enter a strange circle that is always controlled by emotions. If we want to break this strange circle, all we have to do is jump out and be self-aware.

My student's parents are a mother with two children, Dabao is her elder sister and Bao Xiao is her younger brother. The age difference between the two babies is 4 years. My sister always does well in class and is very smart. My mother called me one day and was very depressed. She told me that she lost her temper again today. Dabao always talks back when she doesn't listen. She lost control and yelled at Dabao. Seeing the child crying sadly, she felt sad and regretted it. Moreover, this kind of yelling at children is not the first time. Every time she reaches the tipping point, she can't help it. She didn't feel it when she yelled at the child once, and she was worried.

Because I realized that if this becomes a habit, it will do great harm to children's hearts.

This matter touched me a lot. When our parents can't realize their emotions and learn to control them, how can we realize their children's emotions? Moreover, children's imitation ability is very strong, and children will become irritable in a subtle way. In The Power of Positive Emotions, it is mentioned that there are many kinds of emotions, including joy, gratitude, tranquility, hope, pride, teasing, encouragement, admiration and love. It is also written in The Power of Negative Emotions that excavating the power and value behind negative emotions will lay a good foundation for further emotional management.

solution

1. Stop and think.

You can leave the scene first. When you feel that your emotions are about to get out of control, let yourself stop in another room, take a deep breath and calm down, think about it, and then solve the problem after you calm down.

2. Emotional transfer

When the mood is about to erupt, you can turn your attention to any place in the room and start repeating, such as the curtain in the room is blue, the desk is white, and the chair is pink ..... to divert your attention until the mood calms down.

3. Positive suggestions

When the mood reached the critical point, I told myself that my mood thermometer was already warming up, and now it was necessary to cool down. In this cooling process, we will gradually restore calm.

Kindness and firmness

Losing your temper is instinct, and controlling it is skill. When children have problems that make us impatient, we should first solve our emotions and then solve the problems. Because yelling will only heat up the problem, and friendly and firm communication with children can make us get along better with children.

I remember once a student in our class was crying when he came to class. He didn't know until he asked the reason that his mother yelled at him all the way because she thought she was too dawdling on the way to class, which made him feel very uncomfortable. After class, I took my child to communicate with my mother, and learned that my mother felt that her child was too slow to do things and was worried about being late. The reason why the child is a little slow is that he wants to check whether the windows at home are closed before going out, because the weather forecast says it will rain today. After listening to the child's explanation, the mother also felt that she was too anxious and misunderstood the child.

When we communicate with children in a kind and firm way, children will feel that their mothers understand themselves and will be more willing to share with us.

solution

1. Empathy listening

Know what the child's emotional button is, and calm the child's emotions instead of blaming him. Feel the child's emotions with your heart (for example, you can repeat what the child said). Don't rush to reason. Listen to children's thoughts, let children think about how to solve problems first, instead of giving solutions directly, and finally help children express and get out of their emotions.

2. Delete "no language"

Change negative language into positive language and delete "no language". If you don't run, walk slowly. Don't be afraid. Take a deep breath and hold me tight.

Won rather than won.

Don't stand on the opposite side when we communicate with children. Let the child feel that you are his strong backing. After we learn to control our emotions, we should learn to guide our children's feelings and label them. For example, mom thinks you are a little depressed now. Is it because this problem has been done several times without results? Then express your sympathy for your child and your feelings, and then you can build a solution with your child.

Family is a fertile ground for children to grow up. Only by working hard can we gain something. The above is my opinion, I hope I can help you, and I look forward to your reply and communication.

When children are disobedient, parents sometimes can't help coaxing their children, getting angry with them and even hitting them. What if they can't control their emotions?

1. Try to find a place to control your emotions.

For example, a fixed place at home. When you are angry or sad, you can sit quietly in that position for 5 minutes.

2. mutual supervision.

When you can calm down, sit down with your children. What if your mother can't control her emotions? Or what if the child can't control his emotions? It is agreed that when one party is angry, the other party will give emotional guidance.

Don't underestimate this suggestion, in fact, the effect is very good. For example, you can discuss with your child what action you will take if you are angry, or what action you will take if your child is angry. I told my child an angry story about a tiger. I made an agreement with my child that if my mother was angry, a tiger would run out, so I asked the baby to do the action of putting the tiger back. It's really fun to actually operate. When I am angry, the child will simulate the action of putting the tiger back, and I can't help laughing.

3. Actively explore the reasons why children are disobedient.

Children are noisy, disobedient, talk back, etc. There is a reason behind it. If we find out the reasons behind it and actively solve it, you will find that it is not so difficult to communicate with children.

Ma Bao should be too tired. When a person's energy is intertwined with the tedious pressure of life and the irritability caused by children's naughty disobedience, emotions will get out of control, but they must be adjusted and managed in time!

Children are the weakest and core link in the family. Parents want to give them enough respect, but they can't stand the inevitable disobedience.

Parents are human beings, and there are always pressures and emotions in life. When disappointment and irritability are intertwined, shouting becomes a way to vent. Always impatient with children, love to get angry with children.

In fact, when we were young, we might be as naughty and disobedient as we are now. We don't like studying and don't want to do our homework. Should be able to temporarily put out my anger, give them a little tolerance.

Children also have their own ideas, and they can't be educated just by beating and cursing in exams. Even this method of beating and cursing is more likely to cause children's rebellious emotions and make them more disobedient to their parents' discipline. Therefore, educating children needs methods, but not too violent, and communicate more to understand their thoughts.

It is suggested to try 1, change the pace of life, slow down the pace of life, and slow down busy things.

2. For the sake of children's future personality health, learn to be patient and always remind yourself to control your emotions.

Don't always think that you can't do it. I've always thought about what to do if I don't have children in my life. Think about it. In fact, it is an unspeakable fate for children to come to you. We must cherish this fate. In the future, children will eventually leave you to live alone. Instead of regretting doing this in the future, it is better to cherish every minute with children from now on.

4. When you get along with children, talk to him as gently as possible.

5. Think about your child from another angle. If you are a child and the child is you, do you feel that your mother is a little desperate to treat herself like this? Besides, aren't you always afraid? Treat children patiently, communicate appropriately and understand each other's ideas.

Therefore, as parents, we must put our emotions away. He is just a child and knows nothing. He needs you to educate him. Be kind to your children, especially your childhood, because a small detail you are not careful may have an impact on your child's life.

Children's education is like agricultural planting, which needs a long process. Parents only need patience when they grow up slowly.

I hope it helps you!

In this case, most people will. We were brought up to be ashamed of making mistakes. Actually, we are not perfect! Children are like this, and so are we parents.

In the positive discipline, there are three introductions of R correcting mistakes, which I think are really suitable for parents.

1, admit the error (admit)

Making mistakes is not a bad thing. If you regard mistakes as an opportunity to learn, it is not so difficult to admit them. As parents, we will make mistakes in front of our children. We should be brave enough to admit our mistakes!

Step 2 mediate

Admit your mistake and apologize to your child! When you apologize to your child, you will find that the child will not let it go. On the contrary, he will think that you are a good mother and dare to admit your mistakes, and the children will follow this example!

Step 3 solve

So after we vent our emotions, we should look at the cause of the problem and solve it, so that we don't have to yell at our children for the same thing and feel guilty about it in the future!

To tell the truth, we look really scary when we are angry!

I believe that many precious mothers will have experienced this situation, especially the parents of 80 90.

Parents born after 80s and 90s are now the backbone of society, old and young, bearing the pressure of mortgage, car loan and work. At the same time, they also attach great importance to children's education. Everyone hopes that their children can study hard, not be naughty, and be proficient in piano, chess, painting and calligraphy. Coupled with the recent epidemic, business will also be affected, but the pressure will not be reduced. It is in this case that there is no place to release the pressure, so when Xiong Haizi is naughty, he can't control himself, yell at the children, and even hit the children. This is not to say that Ma Bao's emotional control ability is poor. Sometimes she really can't control herself.

Take myself as an example. Me, too, Bao Ma. My child is only 1 year and 9 months old this year, and he can't understand or read. He sometimes throws toys all over the floor, and he will show you his masterpiece as a wonderful performance. Sometimes I accidentally let him see the pen. I'm sure the walls were painted for him, and people are still very proud. What should I do at this time? Hit him. He doesn't quite understand. It's no use beating him. What's even more ridiculous is that when you hit his left hand, he actually extended his right hand for you to hit, and you lost your temper in an instant. But you can't do it without a degree. I can only tell him slowly that this is wrong. Find him a blank sheet of paper and tell him not to draw on the wall next time he wants to. This trick also works. At least next time, he will draw on paper first, and then praise him. Next time, he will know that pens can only be used on paper.

In fact, I was angry when I saw him draw everything on the wall, but it was useless. He doesn't quite understand. He doesn't know that he is wrong. Why are you angry at this time? Just tell the child the correct use of the pen.

If it is an older child, it depends on the situation before he fully understands it. If it is a matter of principle, then as parents, we definitely need to correct our children's wrong habits at the first time. Don't be soft A meal can really make children remember it for a long time. If it is a misunderstanding of children's cognition, what we need to do is to tell them what to do in the future. If the child deliberately makes mistakes again and again, it is the child who deliberately targets you. In the rebellious period, it is time to have a heart-to-heart negotiation with them. When the knot is untied, everything will be solved.

It is said that every time a child is naughty or makes us angry, we all feel that the little devil comes in an instant, and our grumpy temper can't be suppressed, so we can't help but get angry. When the child fell asleep and watched the lovely sleeping face change back to that little angel, we regretted it and hoped that everything would start all over again.

Many times we feel that we shouldn't get angry, but we always feel that we should give him some color to see before the outbreak.

Reminds me of a picture book I read before, and my mother is angry.

Mother cooked Hill's favorite Zhajiang Noodles, but he began to be naughty. Mother taught him to let Hill have a good meal.

When the hill washes his face, he plays with water while washing, and the whole bathroom is full of bubbles. When his mother saw it, she was angry with the hill.

Hill went to paint again. There is not enough paper. He began to draw on the wall again. Mother broke out and her anger frightened the hill. He kept shaking and couldn't stop.

Soon, the hill disappeared, and it disappeared at once.

After the hill disappeared, my mother began to panic. She began to climb the mountain to find the hill, but she couldn't find it.

Along the way, she met small fights, small bubbles and small wipes. Everyone told her that they were sad when her mother was angry, but they still loved her.

Mom finally despaired and collapsed, and kept saying, "I'm sorry, Xiao Shan ..."

Finally, the hill came back, and her mother hugged the hill tightly, and the hill hugged her mother tightly.

After reading this book, I can't be calm for a long time. I used to yell at my child like the mother in the book, hoping that she would be good. But the child always tells me with a naive little face, mom, I love you no matter what you do.

And in the face of such a lovely little girl, how can I, how dare I, how can I hurt her?

Every time we yell, every time we lose our temper, we draw a hard scar in the child's life. They will doubt themselves and feel that they are not doing well, confused and at a loss.

And all we have to do is be a little more patient, a little more patient. Children always have their own way to express themselves and explore the world with behaviors that suit their age. What we need to do is to have empathy and better understand their behavior, instead of blindly fighting.

Give children enough patience, they will grow better, let us grow together, slowly.

Every mother makes this mistake. You don't need to blame yourself too much, because self-blame can't solve the problem. Only by making efforts to change and tolerate can you become better.

I used to be a super yelling mother. During the period after I got Bauer, my mood was extremely unstable, and anything at home might touch my nerves. For example, toys were thrown all over the floor, Dabao made the home look like a battlefield, mother-in-law and children didn't take care of it, and dad worked every night or played with his mobile phone as soon as he came back, all of which became emotional outbursts. Once the mood is unstable, you won't like what the child does casually, and the child will become your punching bag. In fact, there is nothing wrong with the child itself. You are just venting your dissatisfaction by yelling at the children.

And to make yourself better, what you need is to find the tipping point, that is, where is the induced thing? How do I need to overcome it?

1. Where is the triggering event?

It is suggested to make a study plan for children to develop a good sense of learning. Parents should provide such an atmosphere for their children, such as participation, more guidance, more companionship, putting away their mobile phones and setting a good example. Only when the study habits are cultivated can children achieve self-discipline. Although it is difficult, parents must stick to it.

Second, analyze the internal problems of the incident.

When children don't study hard, we usually blame them for their lack of self-control, disobedience and so on, but we seldom explore the root of the problem. For example, a child's inattention may be because he doesn't like the teacher or the teaching method, or he doesn't understand the problem and is still thinking about toys or games that he hasn't played enough just now. Parents should be good at observing the real reasons behind their children's behavior. Only by finding the source can we fundamentally solve the problem.

It is recommended to communicate with your child before the online class and let him arrange his own time. For example, finish some things that should be done before class. Besides studying, children are allowed to do something they are interested in. Only when he is satisfied in his heart can he concentrate more on his studies.

Third, learn to let go and quit the conflict.

Many parents are always afraid that their children are not conscious enough to follow their children's ass all day, urging them to say this and that. Needless to say, children, if we have parents following us in everything, can you be in a good mood? Parents should trust their children, leave the learning tasks to their own control and management, and let them become their own masters. You should understand that learning is their own business, not their parents'. When you value learning more than himself, there will be a phenomenon of "you are in a hurry, but he is not in a hurry". Once this phenomenon is formed, parents will always be mad, so the war will continue and the roar will continue.

Parents are advised to learn to let go of their children, trust them more and encourage them more. You can make a study plan with your child. When your children succeed, you should let them control their study and time freely. You have to believe that when you fully respect your children, they will certainly do well.

The other is to communicate more and discuss with your children the ways to solve the problem in time. For example, if your child's behavior annoys you, please go away first. You should learn to give up conflict, not create it. It will be better to discuss with your child how to deal with the problem just now after you are emotionally stable.

Four. conclusion

In short, don't impose your wishes on your child. Don't think it's good for him to urge him from time to time. Leave the learning problems to him to arrange, give him enough trust and let him develop a sense of responsibility. When you let go, you will feel more comfortable and emotionally stable, and you will naturally greatly reduce the number of violent walks, which is beneficial to both sides, much better than yelling at children every day.

You should remember that parents' scolding will affect children's psychological development and brain development, and will also damage their concentration. Being an emotionally stable mother, even if the child's grades are not good, his emotional intelligence and personality are definitely sound and reassuring.

Hello, I'm the second mother. After becoming a mother, I believe many people have this situation. I feel more and more impatient with my children. I can't help yelling, and I regret it after yelling.

I know this feeling very well. Xiong Haizi feels that he has been winding up and jumping, and he can't listen to anything. It really makes people explode in minutes.

My son is five years old now, and I find that I am getting impatient now. Especially after giving birth to a second child, I often feel that there is a mosquito buzzing around me, which will become louder and louder and more impatient. After scolding, I feel very guilty, very guilty.

Later, I summed up the rules, and I found that I didn't have the patience to scold children, which is usually the case.

First, children are bored. My five-year-old needs others to play with him besides eating and playing. He is the only one in our family, and the second child is only four months old, so we can't play with him yet. Without playmates, my son can only find his mother to play with, and he doesn't think toys are fun. When he was bored, he started to do it, around you, insisting on telling stories and playing with toys.

Second, when adults are very tired, they feel restless at work, and when they want to be quiet, they are grumpy. Xiong Haizi is always clamoring to play around. Being with him will make them more agitated, so they will be impatient and shout at every turn.

How to improve the above situation?

First, let children learn to be alone. Let the children play by themselves. We have just begun to teach children how to play by themselves. Let children learn to manage their own time, and at the same time, we can arrange some games for him to do more interesting things for him to do, kill time and exercise his ability to be alone.

Second, be good at communication. When adults are busy, tired and bored, they can communicate with their children. Mom is very tired today and wants to be quiet for a while. I hope he can help me. Communicate a few times more, and gradually he will show more understanding to his mother.

Children need to communicate, so we should not treat him as an adult, because he still can't understand children's novels. In fact, children know everything. You should try to communicate more times, make friends with him, and spare some time to play with him, so that he will understand the emotions of adults in the long run and he will express his emotions.

Communication is very important, whether for adults or children.

Ma Bao is getting impatient with the children. She knows it's bad, but she can't stand it. She regrets every time she yells. This feeling is not unique to you. In fact, many parents have had it.

Children's sex is noisy, sometimes it is too much, and parents will really get angry, but think about it in turn. Your children are quiet all day long. How do you feel?

Noisy children show that they are lively. They are also constantly arguing, developing their own thinking and increasing their life experience.

Although, sometimes it is really too much, causing destructiveness, parents will feel angry, but parents need to control their emotions and try not to stop him by shouting or corporal punishment.

Because this is an indispensable part of his growth.

No parents don't love their children, so sometimes they lose their temper with their children, but they will regret it afterwards. You've had this feeling, so have I, and many people have it.

In that case, why start?

If we know how to control our emotions, we shouldn't be angry with our children at the first time when we see that their behavior is too much. It is necessary to calm down and think about the reasons why children do this.

After thinking about it, you may understand: Oh, I see. You will have a tolerance for children, which will neither hurt children nor cause their temper.

It is better not to spoil the atmosphere at the beginning than to shout at the beginning and regret it afterwards. Everyone is very happy, creating a good family atmosphere for their children and themselves.

Why not do it?

Ma Bao has no patience with her children. On the surface, she is disappointed in her children, but in fact she is disappointed in her life, her partner and herself.

Whenever a mother loses her temper with her child, it is so important to try to calm down for three seconds and force her child to follow her own ideas. Does it often backfire? Calm down and think about it, is it that my work is not smooth recently, is it that my husband's recent poor performance has affected his mood and cast it on his children without reservation?

The mother's mood is the key to the healthy and happy growth of children. A mother can control her emotions, and her children won't do anything too rebellious. If the mother is right, she will yell at the child, and the child will be sensitive and inferior, and will rebel at a certain period.

My son also had various problems in the epidemiology class. At that time, during the confinement of the second child, I was very tired and lacked sleep every day. He was a little disobedient, and I reacted greatly. Finally I yelled at him, and he yelled at me, as if he was getting braver and braver. As far as I am concerned, it is estimated that bloody children will resist, so it is not the child who has a problem, but the mother who has a problem. Later, I adjusted myself in time to prevent my emotional breakdown, and my children were much more obedient.

Mothers don't have to worry too much about their children's learning, just give them proper guidance, because children always have to rely on themselves to learn.