A little joke that makes you laugh to death.

A little joke that makes you laugh to death.

Humor joke: The five-year-old baby was separated from his mother in the crowd. He cried and asked, "Have you seen a woman?" She took a little boy who looked like me? "More wonderful jokes are in the joke column, welcome to enjoy!

A short laugh will kill you. Humorous joke 1 1 "Did your father say anything when he failed the exam?"

"Can you save those dirty words?"

"yes."

"Then he didn't say anything."

2. "Children, who knows that camels are different from other animals?" There was silence.

After a little meditation, the teacher further explained, "That is to say, what does a camel have that other animals don't?"

The student replied, "Yes, it's a little camel."

3. Son: "Dad, do mushrooms grow in rainy places?"

Dad: "Yes, how do you know?"

Son: "I think each of them has an umbrella!" " "

One month after the New Year, parents took their 5-year-old son to visit a friend.

After meeting, the father introduced to his son: "This is Uncle Wang, give him a safe old age!" " "

The son immediately bowed to Uncle Wang and said politely, "I wish Uncle Wang happiness in his later years!"

A short laugh will kill you. 2 1. Xiaolin's father is the deputy director of a prison. One day, my mother took Lin shopping.

When checking out, the cashier asked him if he often came to visit his mother. Linlin replied, "Yes, because my father is in prison every day."

2. The wife takes the children to the zoo to play. Suddenly, the child saw a fat and big cat and asked, "Mom, is this a husband or a wife?"

The wife was embarrassed and didn't know how to answer the questions raised by the children. At this time, the child made his own judgment: "Mom, I know. This cat is a husband! "

"Why?" Mother asked in surprise.

Child: "I just gave it a hard twist, and it didn't bark or jump." It just lowered its head and said nothing. "

When my son was 3 or 4 years old, I gave him an English book, such as looking at pictures and reading books. Finally, the word list, the words under a small pattern, filled a page. The son turned to this page and shouted "Lianliankan".

4. One day, Xiao Ming went to a roadside stall to buy a watch, and found that a POLO watch was actually sold in 99 yuan, so he bought it happily. When I arrived at school the next day, the students all thought the pattern on Xiao Ming's POLO watch was very strange. He should have been sitting on a horse with a mallet, but Xiao Ming's design was actually holding a flag!

So Xiaoming went to the boss, who looked at him in surprise and said, "Congratulations, little friend!" " Everyone else is a team member, and yours is the captain! "

A short joke will kill you. 3 1. A pupil wants to stay at home for a few more days, so he tries to pretend to be his father's voice and call the teacher.

"Sorry, my son is ill, and it will take three or four days to go back to school."

The teacher said, "Oh, ok, who are you?"

"Sir, I'm my father."

In Chinese class, the teacher asked the students to make sentences "all over the world". Xiao Ming wrote: "We played football in the playground and accidentally kicked it into the ditch, resulting in mud everywhere."

In order to let my son get up early for school, I specially advanced the alarm clock in his bedroom by ten minutes. One day, I overheard him bragging to his classmates on the phone: "Do you know how big my home is? There is a time difference of 10 minutes from my dormitory to the gate. "

Grandfather asked his grandson what gift he wanted for his birthday.

The grandson thought about it and said, "I don't want any gifts." I just want you to keep your son indoors and force him to play the piano all afternoon. "

5. Brother: "The weather forecast was broadcast on the radio just now, saying that the lowest temperature will be zero tomorrow! Brother, what does zero mean? "

Brother: "idiot, zero is nothing, zero is no temperature!" " "

Humor joke 4 1, the bell rang, and a boy panted and ran into the classroom, explaining to the teacher: I came back with the school bus to save money. The teacher replied: next time you should run with a taxi, so you can save more money and not be late.

2. One day at school, the teacher said, "The topic of today's composition is for the teacher." As soon as the voice fell, a student stood up and said, "Teacher, please go to the hospital. We can't cure you. "

3. Even if 99% people in the world think you are ugly, there are still 75 million people on the earth who think you are ugly. Do you feel suddenly swollen!

4, a sister. One day after dinner, my father looked at me for a long time. Suddenly I sighed and said, hey, I wanted to solve one bachelor for my country twenty years ago, but I didn't expect to be able to do two. My own dad, stop it. I want to be quiet. ...

When someone wants something from others in business, he can make a commitment to everything, but he always tries to shirk and avoid it afterwards. On one occasion, he failed to fulfill his previous promise. He said to his friend, "You have to believe me, I am by no means the kind of person who turns his back on others." "The friend looked at him and said coldly," Slip? "

6. There is really no coat like a school uniform: a mobile phone is hidden in the sleeve, a book can be put in the pocket, a pillow is rolled up and spread out as a blanket, and you dare to rub it anywhere. The key is that after wearing it, everyone can be evenly ugly.

7. My wife baked cookies for the first time and they were burnt. I encouraged her to say, "My wife is great. She made Oreos." She was a little embarrassed: "No …" I said: "My wife must make the best!" When she was happy, she became excited: "Then you can eat them all."

8. The snail flew into a rage when checking out after dinner: "You are a little too dark. I just ate a small bowl of noodles here and charged my room rate. Please make it clear that the private room is my own, not yours. "

9. Look at someone in Weibo who said that when he was in a bad mood, he went to talk to his aunt in the community, and he would know who was worse off than you in ten minutes. I tried to find my aunt in the community and told her about my miserable life. My kind aunt patted me on the shoulder and said, what is this? Xiao Wang in Building 7 is much worse than you. I cried after listening to it, because I am Xiao Wang in Building 7.

10, the woman is ugly and can't get married, hoping to be trafficked. Finally, my dream came true, but I couldn't sell it for half a month. The kidnapper sent him back, but she insisted on not getting off. The kidnapper gritted his teeth and stamped his feet: Let's go, don't want the car.

1 1. What is a famous brand? If you add a zero to the cost price, it's called a famous brand. Cost plus two zeros is called luxury. How many zeros can be added after the cost price? This is called a cultural relic!

12. Before I got married, I thought boys were the most handsome when playing basketball. After marriage, I suddenly found that it is the most exciting thing for men to cook, wash dishes and clean up the house!

13. After spending more than a year with my girlfriend, I finally understood two sentences. I can calm my girlfriend down by picking a word at random. The first sentence: You are right. The second sentence: buy.

14, never quarrel with your parents, because you will only be scolded if you win, and you will only be beaten if you win.

15, I went to work today and want to go tomorrow. This is a career; I went to work today, and I have to work tomorrow. This is a profession! I drank together today, and I want to drink again tomorrow. This is a friend. We drank together today, and we will drink tomorrow. This is the customer! I ate today, and I want to eat tomorrow. This is delicious food. I ate it today, and I will eat it tomorrow. This is a meal!

16, you are very handsome, with a nest of cabbage on your head and a sack of kelp around your waist. You think you are Dong Fangbubai, but in fact you are the second generation of the fallen God!

17, a dog grinned and the lion dodged. The little lion asked, "How shameful it is that you dare to fight with a tiger but avoid a dog." The lion said, "Fight with the dog and let the tiger know. Why don't you laugh at me? "

18. Frogs, dogs and goldfish took part in the swimming competition. The dog won the first place and the frog won the second place. Why did the champion go to the frog? There is no dog paddle in the international swimming competition, but there is breaststroke.

19, asking people to pay back money is like a secret love. I always feel embarrassed to say it! When you get up the courage to say it, you may not even have friends!

20. Xiaoming came to the forest and saw a bird playing mahjong. He asked, What kind of bird are you? The bird playing mahjong answers: I am a sparrow. Xiao Ming walked on and saw a bird taking a bath. He asked, What kind of bird are you? The bird in the shower replied, I am a magpie. Xiaoming walked on and saw a bird making a hole in the tree. He stepped forward and said, you must be a peacock! The bird gave him a white look: roll, I'm a woodpecker!

2 1, the female manager took a nap and stole her WeChat group: "I am pregnant." Who expected the boss to reply: "Are you sure? This is not a joke. " When we saw the news, we were all shocked. As a result, the boss replied: "The project will be established next, and you are not responsible." I think there's a problem.

22. The world is so strange. Poverty limits my imagination, but not my weight.

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