How to be happy?

As for why Chinese people are unhappy, there is a passage that says: "You are not happy when you are penniless, you are not happy when you have a lot of money; you are not happy when you are being used by others, you are still unhappy after being used by others; If you are not happy when you are a student, you will still be unhappy after working and earning money; if you are not happy at home, you will still be unhappy after going abroad. In a word, life is too tiring. ”

The reason why Chinese people are unhappy

In August 2005, "Beijing Youth Daily" published a happiness index survey report for citizens in Beijing, Shanghai and Guangzhou. Among them, regarding the reasons for unhappiness, there are the following 4 sets of data:

1.61.8% are due to work factors, such as unsatisfactory income, too much work pressure, too little rest time, lack of sense of accomplishment, work Boredom, bleak prospects, and interpersonal disharmony.

2.4% are related to family relationships, such as not getting along well with family members, too little time to spend with family members, unsatisfactory housing and low total family income.

3.12.8% are due to dissatisfaction with material life, such as wages, benefits, social security, housing, transportation and other consumer items.

4.24.2% of the respondents said that they would not actively seek happiness or lack effective ways to obtain happiness.

"Learning from the West": Learn "How to Be Happy" from Americans

In the best-selling book on happiness in the United States, we have collected many new ways to find and control happiness. List it down and share it with everyone. I hope we can all gain something from it and find our own way to happiness.

Work

1. Wear the right clothes. Open your wardrobe and sort all the clothes carefully. Whether it is a big meeting or a birthday party, you should wear the most suitable clothes for different occasions.

2. Keep smiling. Smiling often will improve your mood.

3. Pay attention to division of labor. Make your own functional scope and specific work clear, and do not do things that should be done by your work partners.

4. Eat on time. When it's time to eat, even if you don't feel hungry at all, at least eat a simple piece of bread with ham, which will be kind to your stomach and help stabilize your mood.

5. Communicate with the boss. Have a good talk with your boss with a positive attitude and discuss how to make your work more prioritized, concise and efficient; moreover, complaining in private is useless, speak up if you have any opinions. , even a temporary quarrel is better than a "mountain of grudges."

6. Don’t neglect collaboration. Find your good partners among colleagues, pay attention to teamwork, and work together to complete the work better.

7. Forget about “perfectionism.” While you can't completely control your job, you can control your expectations. Put aside those perfectionistic thoughts and don't take yourself too seriously. What you need is to arrange and do every step well.

8. Carpe diem. After get off work, invite friends to go to a new place to have fun together; carefully plan each of your vacations and record every wonderful detail with notes and cameras.

9. Make time. Don’t keep telling yourself “you don’t have time.” In fact, you can be less busy. For example, even if there is a conference call at 9 p.m., you can take half an hour to drive out for a drive before the meeting starts, buy a newspaper for 1 yuan, eat an ice cream on the roadside, and call a friend to say Talk about weekend travel plans.

Happiness is a magical thing. If you are willing to share it, then one happiness will turn into N happiness. This article mentions many reasons why Americans are happy and Chinese are unhappy. It is by no means a favor to foreigners, but it is a hope that we can learn from it and gain inspiration to make ourselves happier.

Relationships

1. Kiss your lover passionately every day

You might as well make an agreement with him: when either party is in a bad mood, go home Then give the other person a loving, long kiss. Some studies have found that kissing has a very good effect on calming emotions and improving mood.

2. Share your vacation mood with your family

Every time you come back from vacation, your family and you will discuss the terrible food in the hotel, the terrible bathroom on the train, and the encounters on the road. strange people and things, and then take a break, go to a restaurant you often go to, pick your favorite food, drink a little beer... This constitutes a happy episode in life, even after many years, It can also make you have endless aftertaste.

3. Arrange an intimate date regularly

Set an intimate agreement with him: have sex on Sunday morning. It seems to be a very disappointing thing to put restrictions on sex. But in fact, when you really insist on doing this, you will find that whenever Sunday is approaching, you will unconsciously have fantasies and expectations, and people will become excited and relaxed.

In addition, there are some details of life that you can pay attention to, which can also improve your relationship:

4. Don’t let TV take up most of your time after get off work. It is best not to watch TV more than 2 times a week.

5. In your free time that is not occupied by TV, you can spend time cooking a new dish for him to taste, or carefully cultivate a few green plants that he also likes, or DIY some crafts. Crafts and make some small changes to your home.

6. Before going to bed, recall the interesting or happy things that happened today and tell them to him.

7. Before going to bed, clean your face thoroughly to refresh your skin, which can also help relieve fatigue and improve your mood.

8. Using light-colored bedding can make people feel relaxed and happy.

9. Watch a comedy movie with him, laugh out loud at the end, and then fall asleep hugging each other.

10. Invite his good friends to have dinner with you. Getting along well with his friends can help you understand your lover's current situation from another angle.

Financial Management

1. Live within your means

Don’t be influenced by material desires, otherwise you will be struggling in a bottomless swamp for the rest of your life. . If your expenses are proportional to your income, or you have a slight savings, you will feel relatively less stressed, and you will be relatively relaxed and happy; but once material needs are out of balance with your normal income, pain will follow.

2. Start with a small amount of savings

Always expecting a large amount of income to solve all problems will only make you irritable and restless. You might as well save a small amount of money on a daily basis. For example, starting from the day your child is born, keep depositing 5% to 10% of your monthly income in the same account every month, and only deposit but not withdraw. Whenever you think that your children will receive a considerable amount of education funds when they become adults, you will feel proud of yourself, and this happiness will accompany you for most of your life.

3. Make it clear what values ??you value most

Take choosing a suitable property as an example. A friend’s house is twice as big as yours, has a great layout, and is half the price. The air is fresh, the environment is quiet, and it takes an hour to drive to work; your house is small and compact, you can see the bustling city scene, it is only 40 minutes away from work, and it is not far from your children's school... If comparisons like this continue, they will be endless and will never yield results. What you need to do is, out of all the good things about the house, force yourself to pick out just one. More than two advantages may make you confused, but the one advantage you finally choose is the source of the greatest happiness and satisfaction for you.

4. Spend money in more meaningful places

Update the concept: "It's not that I can't afford it, but I spend my money in more meaningful places." Likewise. It is 10,000 yuan. Whether you plan to use it to buy a dream diamond ring or go sightseeing in Egypt is a matter of personal preference and is understandable. But if you always think: "When we have money, we can buy a diamond ring and go to Egypt, which will be very satisfying." Then, no matter which choice you make, you will not be doing it for yourself. I feel 100% happy with my choice, thus greatly reducing the true value of this 10,000 yuan.

5. The more the better the salary is not.

We usually think that the more the better, but a classic survey from the United States showed that the annual income increased from 50,000 US dollars to 100 US dollars. Those who earn $10,000 do not feel that they are happier in the year after the salary increase than in the past year.

Psychologists’ explanation for this phenomenon is that people tend to ignore the fact that when salaries increase, people’s desires also increase. When we have a healthy body, we don’t expect to be healthier; when we have one happy home, we don’t expect to have two happy homes; but for money-related materials, we always feel that more is better. Good; therefore, when people continue to pursue and satisfy their desire for material things, they often sacrifice health, interpersonal relationships, family, love and peace of mind.

Habits

The author of the American best-selling book "How to Be Happy", Karen, Ph.D. in Psychology. Ms. Salmathorn said: "There are too many uncertain factors in our lives, and you may be disturbed by sudden changes at any time. Instead of drifting with the crowd, it is better to consciously cultivate some habits that make you happy and help yourself adjust your mood at any time. ”

1. Take a few photos every day

Psychologists recommend using a camera to take pictures of some people and things around you every day, such as the trees outside the window, the flowers on the roadside, Neighbor kids and friends’ weddings. Record these fragments that may be forgotten at any time. When you organize the photos from time to time, you will feel that all the details are good memories and there is nothing to complain about, so people will easily become happy.

2. Watch sad movies

Watch a sad movie, such as "When a Man Falls in Love with a Woman". When you can't help yourself, you might as well cry loudly. , and then comfort myself by saying, fortunately, this is just a movie plot, not real life, and my mood will be greatly improved. This is a method of reverse thinking, often used in psychology to help people think about problems from a different perspective.

3. Daydream on weekend mornings

Many capable housewives will start from getting up early on Saturday morning and do housework non-stop, such as tidying up the house and cleaning. Toilet etc. This habit often leaves people exhausted on Saturday night and interferes with sleep on Sunday.

You might as well put aside the trivial housework for a while and have a beautiful daydream on the weekend morning. Don't blame yourself, but encourage yourself and say: "I work so hard, there is nothing wrong with squandering my rest time."

4. Write emails regularly

With friends who have known you for many years Keep in touch via email regularly. People who have the habit of keeping a diary can reflect their subconscious mental state by just scribbling or scribbling a few sentences on the paper. The same is true for writing emails. Regularly emailing friends to talk about your recent life can not only help you let go of things on your mind, but also help you pick up friendships that have been indifferent.

5. Take a walk by the water

Some studies have pointed out that because people are exposed to amniotic fluid in infancy, they are born with a affinity for water. Walking by the water can effectively help people relax physically and mentally. No matter how many worries you have, in an environment with green trees and flowing water, you can temporarily put everything aside and "steal" a moment of leisure for yourself.

6. Eat a big meal once in a while

The beauty of having a big meal is that not only can you enjoy delicious food, but it can also make you feel like you are being treated specially . When people are cared for differently from others, their mood will improve unconsciously. We all may have had experiences similar to this when we were young: when your parents bought you a beautiful bowl that was different from other children, you would happily eat more food than usual, even if you didn't like it. The food has also become "cute".

7. Get a manicure once a week

No one will be in a good mood when they see their long, dirty and ugly nails. Doing a manicure once a week will not only make your nails look neater and more beautiful, but also give you a sense of satisfaction that "everything is under control", and you will become suddenly enlightened.

Habits

8. Participate in group activities

Although being alone is also one of the ways to adjust your mood, don’t be stingy with your rest time and set aside some of it for Group activities. Mountain climbing, outings, picnics, parties, music clubs... Encourage yourself to actively participate in group activities, and you will find the strength to make yourself strong and peaceful in having fun together.

9. Swim regularly

Swimming is one of the most physically demanding sports, but this exhausting activity can help people get rid of worries and relax physically and mentally. It’s also a good idea to go swimming alone. Surrounded by water, even the worst mood can be softened.

10. Sing loudly while driving

When you are in a bad mood, turn on the radio in the car, adjust it to a higher volume, and sing loudly along with the melody played on it. Don’t worry about it at all. Others gave him strange looks. Maybe you are a little silly in the eyes of others at this time, but this is indeed a good way to quickly release your mood.

11. Drink coffee and read novels

Choose a famous cafe, bring a novel that interests you most recently, and choose a seat by the window , sit down, order a cup of coffee, and read while drinking... Yes, this is a "petty bourgeoisie" scene that often appears in movies. But what does it matter? Let yourself experience the romantic scenes that are only found in movies. You will also be affected by the atmosphere and get real relaxation and enjoyment.

12. Send cards to friends

Choose 10-15 unique cards and carry them with you in your bag while waiting for the bus, queuing to check out, etc. When you are alone, take out a piece of paper and write a few words on it, such as "Miss you", "May your mood be as bright as the weather today", "You must be happy", "Think of the days when we were in college", etc. Wait and then mail it to your friend. When all the cards are written and mailed one by one, you will have a charming smile from the bottom of your heart when you think of your friends’ surprised expressions when they receive the cards.

You might as well try the other 7 lifestyle habits from now on -

13. On every Monday morning, wear brightly colored and bright clothes.

14. Doodling while on the phone.

15. Occasionally have the most expensive cake or chocolate and save the price tag and box.

16. Sing while taking a bath.

17. Wear the underwear that makes you feel most comfortable.

18. Have nightlife regularly.

19. Sprinkle some dried fruits on the yogurt.