"Little Doudou by the Window": Watering children's hearts with beauty

"Little Doudou by the Window" is a children's literature that has been best-selling for decades. It has been translated into 33 languages ????and distributed around the world. To this day, it is also the largest-selling book in Japan's history. . This book was introduced to China more than 20 years ago and caused a great sensation. Children, parents, teachers and educational researchers all talked about it. Although this is a children's book, it has inspired a lasting enthusiasm for reading among the education community and parents. Many people have written relevant review articles to analyze the educational concepts and educational methods embodied in the book from various angles. Basically, children who have read this book hope that they can enter the Ba Academy described in the book. Teachers and parents believe that the personalized and undifferentiated love education in the book can only be achieved under the current conditions. It may be an ideal, even though Ba Academy was a real elementary school that once existed.

What touched me the most about this book was: childhood education really has such a big impact on a person’s life!

Since having children, I have been reading books on parenting non-stop. The impact of childhood education on people is actually a topic I have heard about for many years. However, in the past, when we saw such remarks, most of them were interpreted from the perspective of problem youth or problem children. These remarks always tell us that if a person has suffered psychological trauma in childhood, he will have psychological shadows. If there is no Without effective guidance, this shadow may affect his life, and even lead to mental illness in severe cases. This kind of remarks makes us parents often feel fearful and constantly review ourselves, fearing that any of our words and deeds will have a negative impact on the growth of our children. But the book "Little Doudou by the Window" is so different. It allows us to see how good childhood education can make those children with defects in the eyes of others grow into healthy and happy people. It not only gives us hope. , and also gave us good examples through the teachers of Ba Academy and Xiaodoudou’s parents.

To understand this, we first need to understand the author of this book, Kuroyanagi Tetsuko. In today's Japan, Tetsuko Kuroyanagi is a well-known old lady. Not to mention other achievements, the TV talk show "Tetsuko's Cabin" she hosted has been broadcast for more than 10,000 episodes. Japanese entertainers The fact that she is proud of this program is enough to prove her excellence. People often think that such a person must have been an enviable "other people's child" in her childhood. However, the facts disappoint us. In her childhood, she was dismissed because she was judged to be a problem child. In the end, she went through After many twists and turns, I entered the unique primary school described in the book - Ba Xueyuan. She explains in the book that "the word "windowside" gives people a feeling of being excluded from the periphery rather than being in a dominant position. ... In the first school, in fact, I always had a vague feeling of being excluded. Feeling of rejection." Her purpose in writing this book is to tell everyone "the story of a girl named Xiao Doudou who, under the guidance of the adults around her, was finally able to study and get along with everyone smoothly."

Let’s take a look at Ba Academy, which fascinates children. The school has simple facilities. The school gate is connected by two trees, and the classrooms are renovated from old trams. There are only more than 50 students in the first class of Ba Xueyuan. Some of them are children with physical disabilities, some are "problem children" like Xiaodoudou who were rejected by other schools, and some students are not admitted due to other reasons. It is suitable for students in ordinary primary schools. No matter how you look at it, this school looks like a special school we have now. However, among these more than 50 students, famous entertainers like Kuroyanagi Tetsuko, several dancers, and a representative Japanese physicist grew up. And other people working in ordinary positions also live optimistic and happy lives. Even decades later, these students still get together every year on the sports day of Ba Academy. It can be said that the Ba Academy period is a happy time that they cherish throughout their lives.

In fact, that happy time in Ba Academy not only gave them a happy childhood, but also changed their destiny. As Kuroyanagi Tetsuko said: "If I had not entered Tomoe Academy and met Mr. Kobayashi, I am afraid that no matter what I did, I would have been labeled a 'bad boy', surrounded by an inferiority complex, and not knowing what to do. What should I do? Maybe I will have this feeling of being at a loss until I grow up?" Xiao Doudou, who was judged as a problem child in ordinary schools, felt a faint feeling of being excluded. In Ba Academy, Xiao Lin With the trust, respect and praise of "you are such a good boy" from her husband, she became a happy and confident child again, and eventually became the most famous old lady in Japan. Of course, in addition to Mr. Xiaolin's efforts, the way Xiaodoudou's mother handled Xiaodoudou when he was persuaded to quit school is also very important. She did not tell Xiaodoudou that she had to change schools because she was persuaded to quit school. This prevented Xiaodoudou from turning the hidden Yueyue's feeling of rejection may turn into an inferiority complex.

In addition to Xiaodoudou, Takahashi-kun, who has a physical disability, also impressed me deeply. Takahashi-kun seems to have dwarfism, and his arms and legs are extremely short. Such a child, if he had not met Principal Xiaolin, would most likely have had an inferiority complex of being physically disabled throughout his life. However, fortunately, he entered Ba Academy.

Through careful design, Principal Kobayashi allowed Takahashi-kun to win a Grand Slam every time at the sports meeting. By letting the children swim naked, he removed his sense of shame because of his different body. Mr. Kobayashi also often treated the children Say "you are all the same" and "no matter what kind of body is beautiful", so that healthy children will not look at children with defects in a different light. Takahashi-kun, who studied in this environment, grew up to be an optimistic and confident person. He was later admitted to Meiji University and worked as a "coordinator" in a company after graduation to solve the problem of harmonious interpersonal relationships in the company. In the postscript of this book, the author recorded interviews with some students of Ba Academy. Among them, Takahashi Jun clearly told her that "it is true that she does not have an inferiority complex because of physical defects."

The two vivid examples of Xiaodoudou and Takahashi-kun allow us to see the beauty of education. It tells us: any problem in children is not a real problem, as long as we water them with beauty If we have good hearts, they will be able to return us good things.

But here comes the problem. How do we water our children's hearts with beauty?

Many people have written articles summarizing the educational concepts and methods reflected in the book "Little Doudou by the Window". In fact, they are nothing more than the following points: respect children, encourage children, trust children, and Treat children with tolerance. But these key points are covered in other books. Why is this book so attractive?

My personal feeling is that other books explain these from the perspective of educators. Many times, we can understand and accept these educational concepts, but when we actually implement them, children may not Accept that the intentional respect shown by adults from an adult perspective may not necessarily make children feel respected. You think you respect him when you squat down and look into his eyes and talk to him. You think you respect him when you tell him you understand his feelings. You think you respect him when you ask his opinion before making a decision... But if all these behaviors are not natural expressions of emotion, the child will not feel truly respected.

Kuroyanagi Tetsuko mentioned a small detail in the postscript of "Little Doudou by the Window". She said that Mr. Sano, who has been working with him for many years, wanted to collect Mr. Kobayashi's information. A remark from a woman who once helped accompany Mr. Kobayashi's aerobics class, who told Sano-kun that Mr. Kobayashi once said to her, "Hey, kids don't walk like that." What Mr. Kobayashi meant was , the woman didn’t understand the children’s breathing rates. Therefore, all of Mr. Xiaolin's educational concepts and methods can be truly effective because of this foundation: he really understands children.

When we read this book, we felt moved and beautiful all over the body. That is because every behavior of Principal Xiaolin happened naturally after understanding the children, without any deliberate intention. And for the ingredients. Because we understand children’s curiosity, we allow them to stay overnight on campus to watch the tram arriving, and take this opportunity to explain physics knowledge; because we understand the significance of unrestrained sports to children, we say to parents, “Please let the children Come to school with your worst clothes on"; because we understand what children like, we arrange a simple camping activity of setting up a tent to sleep in the auditorium; because we understand the inferiority complex that a mutilated body brings to children, we carefully Sports events were designed to allow children with disabilities to win first place; because they understood that children have their own judgment and persistence, they did not stop Xiaodoudou from digging into the cesspit to find her wallet. Put it back"; because he understood the child's simple kindness, he still bit the "healthy bark" handed over by Xiao Doudou after seeing through it... Only those who truly understand children can give them true respect and trust, and truly Tolerate all kinds of "stupid things" made by children.

Fortunately, the book "Little Doudou by the Window" not only allows us to see a good teacher who truly understands and loves children, but also through Xiaodoudou's perspective and subsequent analysis, It gives us a window into a child’s inner world. So, what kind of respect and trust do children need? In fact, it is very simple, just respect and trust him as an adult.

We can find direct discussion of this in the book.

The reason why Xiaodoudou likes someone is very simple, that is, he likes someone who respects her as an adult.

The first time she met Principal Xiaolin, Xiaodoudou fell in love with him. The reason is that Mr. Xiaolin listened very carefully to what Xiaodoudou said for four hours. The author wrote: No matter before or since, no adult has ever listened to Xiao Doudou so seriously.

In the cesspit incident, although Xiaodoudou did not find her wallet in the end, she still felt "quite satisfied." The author analyzed: "Actually, among Xiaodoudou's satisfaction, there is also the fact that the principal is not angry at what I do, trusts me very much, and respects me as a person with great personality." ”

During the winter vacation, Xiao Doudou went skiing with his parents, and was invited by the famous skier Schneider to ski with him. After it was over, Schneider bent down, held Xiaodoudou's hand, and thanked her. The author writes: This young man does not treat Xiaodoudou as a child, but respects her as an adult lady.

The moment the man bent down, Xiaodoudou felt his friendliness and courtesy from the bottom of her heart.

In order to look like an adult, Xiaodoudou often takes great pains to imitate the appearance, words and deeds of "adults", and hopes to be recognized.

In order to look like a senior sister, Xiao Doudou kept her hair long for a long time. Finally, one day, her mother helped her braid a braid. She thought "she looked like a senior sister." "Looks like", I was so happy. But when she got to school, naughty boys took pleasure in pulling her braids. Xiao Doudou whimpered, and the reason was: "Braids are a symbol of a 'mature woman', so when you see Xiao Doudou with pigtails, maybe people will say 'sorry' like they would an adult woman. Who knows... …”

In order to perform well during the picnic, Xiaodoudou studied her mother’s cooking movements and procedures in advance, and specially learned how to say “Ooyoyoyo” when her mother picked up the pot lid. She quickly put her hands on her earlobes because she thought this action was so adult, and she actually did it during the picnic and felt very satisfied.

Many people will say that it seems a bit difficult to respect and trust a child as an adult, because the child's body is not fully developed and his abilities are limited. Sometimes it is really uneasy! But this book clearly tells us: In fact, no matter how young children look, they can definitely understand really interesting things.

Indeed.

In order to live up to the trust of the principal, after digging out the cesspit, Xiaodoudou completely put the hill back into the original urinal as agreed with the principal, and also used a ladle to give birth. The next layer of soil that had seeped into the water was also sent into the urinal. Finally, the ground was leveled, the opening of the cesspool was restored to its original shape, and the long ladle was returned to the tool room. At that time, Xiaodoudou was only a first-grade primary school student. She could already find solutions to problems by herself through thinking.

During the summer vacation of the first grade, Xiaodoudou and Taiming went on a big adventure behind the backs of adults - she asked Taiming, who had suffered from polio, to climb her tree. Taiming's hands and feet were twisted and had no strength. The entire tree climbing process was basically completed by Xiaodoudou. In order to help Taiming climb the tree, Xiaodoudou ran to the school tool room and found a ladder, pushed Taiming up to the highest level of the ladder, and then used all his strength to drag Taiming up the tree. This process took a long time. In the middle of the process, Xiao Doudou found that it was very difficult to drag Tai Ming up the tree. She almost cried. However, she did not cry, "because she thought that if she cried, Tai Ming would definitely do the same." Crying”. Here, we see a thinking and courageous little girl who tried her best to make her decision, gritted her teeth, persisted to the end, and finally succeeded. Therefore, as long as it is something they want to do, children, like adults, will show amazing wisdom and courage.

In addition, children’s learning ability cannot be underestimated. In order to perform well during the picnic, from the day she got the news about the picnic, Xiaodoudou always followed her mother closely when she was busy in the kitchen, studying how her mother used the kitchen knife, how to lift the pot, and how to Serve rice and so on. On the day of the official picnic, Xiaodoudou's performance was indeed outstanding. Not only did she cut the vegetables very evenly and beautifully, she also taught the senior boys how to cut vegetables, and she also had an idea and made a plate of pickles, which everyone admired very much. You know, Xiaodoudou had just entered the second grade at that time.

Some people may say that even if children have certain thinking and learning abilities, their minds are not sound enough and they often do stupid things. In fact, the so-called "stupid things" are just adults' values. Take the story of Xiaodoudou digging into the pit for his favorite wallet. Most adults will think this is very stupid, but if the wallet is replaced by a valuable diamond ring, many people's attitudes will change. That's because, in the eyes of adults, wallets are not valuable, but in the eyes of Xiaodoudou, who likes this wallet, the wallet may be more precious than a diamond ring. Therefore, what we call stupidity is actually just something that does not conform to certain secular values. If we abandon this value and just regard this matter as an action taken by a person to retrieve his cherished items, there is no point in this. Stupid?

Therefore, what really hinders us from respecting children is the values ????of the adult world. If we can put aside worldly values ??when looking at children's affairs, you will find that many things children do are reasonable. of. For example, many children want a certain kind of toy when they see it. Although there are already many at home, parents will feel that their children's demands are a bit excessive. But if we think about those who like to collect, which one of them would not buy similar items? A lot of it? Regardless of price and appreciation space, the meaning of toys to children is the same as the meaning of collectibles to collectors. They can both get happiness and satisfaction from them. From this point of view, their value is the same.

Therefore, the key to whether we can respect our children as adults still lies in our assessment of the children's needs and existing values.

If you think that the cleanliness of clothes is more important than the child's free and happy movement, you will stop the child from crawling around on the ground; if you think that rushing on the road is more important than the child's curiosity, you will not let the child squat on the road. While observing flowers, plants, insects and birds; if you think food nutrition is more important than your child's preferences, you will force your children to eat food they don't want to eat; if you think your own troubles are more important than your child's growth, you will refuse your child's request for help. Your request to work; if you feel that face or your own comfort is more important than the child's emotions, you will use violence to stop the child from crying...

At this time, look back at Ba Academy, we found that the reason why Principal Xiaolin is deeply loved by the children is because he always considers the children’s feelings first when making any decision. That’s why there is such a scene in Ba Academy: children make decisions based on Choose your favorite seat according to your mood; the teacher writes the day's learning content on the blackboard, the children choose the learning sequence according to their own preferences to start self-study, and the teacher answers questions one-on-one; if the children complete the day's learning tasks in the morning, they will Just go out for a walk under the leadership of the teacher; when the weather is hot, the principal will temporarily decide to open the swimming pool, and the children can play in the water naked; there are two classes a week, and the children can take chalk and do whatever they want on the floor of the auditorium Make paintings; in order to satisfy the children's curiosity to watch the tram, the principal allowed the children to camp in the school with the consent of their parents, and woke the children up in the early morning to watch... All of this was the principal's sacrifice. The convenience and comfort of adults are used to meet the various needs of children, in exchange for children's joyful and independent learning and their heartfelt love for the school.

I have read "Little Doudou by the Window" three times in its entirety, and flipped through it countless times. I also wanted to summarize some methods and techniques for educating children, but the more I read, the more I found that educating children really cannot be done well with methods and techniques, because when you look at a child as a When you need someone to teach or train, you have already gone in the wrong direction. The methods and techniques you seek are not to make children better to a large extent, but to make children adapt to the needs of adults and let adults More convenient and more comfortable. The reason why Mr. Xiaolin was able to bring joy and lifelong influence to children in just a few years was entirely due to his sincerity in loving children. He would never use secular values ????to evaluate children at will. He believed that: no matter which child , when he is born, he has excellent qualities. The purpose of education is to discover these excellent qualities early, prevent these excellent qualities from being damaged, and let them carry forward, so as to cultivate children into people with rich personality.