Say something that makes me happy, happy, I'm in a bad mood.

Only satirize what must be satirized and praise what is worthy of praise. This is what we see in 2006 ~

1. First, the super girl champion Chris Lee, then the Oscar-winning film Brokeback Mountain, China gay finally stood up! (Unnamed Peking University)

2. Did you watch King Kong without crying? I don't think so ~ but if it's a female king kong and a handsome guy, I don't think anyone will cry at all ~ (anonymous Peking University)

3. The EU constantly accuses China of failing to crack down on piracy, because there are only seven Ferraris in China, and the global limit is six! (Shui Mu Community)

4. "Don't wear underwear and slippers into the classroom!" To tell the truth, even after four years in Nanyou, I am not so thick as to enter the classroom without underwear ... (Zijin Hong Fei)

It's no use being handsome. Can I swipe my card with that face after spending? ! (Tianya True Me)

6. Rent a girlfriend for one day during the May Day holiday. (Terracotta Warriors)

7. Breaking news: "Live Football 10" finally has a China team! ! ! The only use of the China team is that the master shows off to the people around him and says, "Come on, let's cut two pieces, and I'll choose the China team ~" (anonymous Peking University).

8. The children all stood up and posed for photos! Alas ~ Li, standing and standing, unlike frjj ~ ~ (unnamed Peking University)

9. In the past, capitalists would rather dump milk than distribute it to the poor, but now real estate agents would rather leave their houses empty than distribute them to ordinary people! (Terracotta Warriors)

10. If you can't lift people, how can you see flowers? (thinking about the source of drinking water, it's still hidden ~)

1 1. Today, a group of Japanese visited our school. To be honest, this is the first time I have seen a Japanese in clothes. ...

12. What fees will banks charge after cross-bank inquiry? A. bank construction fees; B.ATM initial installation fee; C. bank card number selection fee; Smile service surcharge. (Netease)

13. Today's sandstorm weather is two smelly-footed forwards of China football team and Xie Hui! (Terracotta Warriors)

14. I would rather accept your desperate resistance under hooligans than your ecstasy under men! (Tianya QQ Inn)

15. Because the Gamba team in Osaka defeated its arch-enemy Osaka Sakura Team 6- 1 in the domestic league, 40 fans of Osaka Sakura Team came to Dalian to cheer for Shide Team in the AFC Champions League tonight ... (Shui Mu Community)

16. I finally understand Jay Chou's Fan Texi-the meaning of porridge ... (Sun Moon Guanghua)

17. The difficulty of defense depends on the quality of sexual life of the defense teacher the night before ~ (Terracotta Warriors)

18. As soon as Adam comes back late from overtime, Eve counts his ribs ... (Shui Mu Tsinghua)

19. Folks, the eunuch said that as long as the Eighth Route Army is handed over, the Red Army will not treat you badly ~ (Memoirs of a Geisha)

20. Netcom users said, "I haven't refreshed Tianya's page, but I've been logging in Tianya ... (C _ Chairman/Chai 200 1)

2 1. When I was a child, my mother often nagged: "If I can't get into Tsinghua, I will get into Peking University." As a result, I didn't even get into Peking University when I grew up. ...

22. My friends say that I am a famous musician, because every time I go to karaoke, they sing other people's songs, but I always compose my own music ... (Brother Shui Mu, be sure to sign it next time ~:))

23. My girlfriend once said, "My wish is not high: my husband doesn't need much money, but he can drive me to work when I am pregnant." Later, she married a taxi driver ... (Shui Mu Community)

24. Yesterday, I cruelly refused a woman's request that I couldn't refuse-my mother said to me affectionately, "Baby, you are not young, it's time to find a girlfriend ..." (Terracotta Warriors)

25. Grandma, who is far away from home, said sadly after hearing the news that I was admitted to Peking University, "Honey, why don't you go to Minzu University of China? It is at least a central institution. Isn't Peking University a local institution? " (Peking University is not named)

26. The car is more crowded than acne, and my heart is more sad than level 6. The school network is as broken as the glass in Yi Ming, and I am as useless as the overpass in the Middle East ... (Yixian Time and Space)

If only I were a dandelion: I have beautiful headdress and special wings, and my mother won't stop me from sailing. ...

28. I am poor, and so are my servants, gardeners and drivers ... (Shui Mu Community)

29. Never get up, never get tired of studying, and never enter the student union. It has nothing to do with it!

I often can't sleep at night, thinking about who is the best match, men and women are properly matched, and youth can't be wasted.

Knowing that learning is wrong, I still drink and party, stay up until midnight, and often wipe my tears in class.

That is, if you don't review at the end of the term, you won't be able to do anything in the exam, and the second interview will be withdrawn! (blue starry sky)

We are arguing endlessly whether urine is excreted by gravity, and I am the one who opposes it. To prove our point, I stood upside down and peed on them ... (tulip)

3 1. Love hurts, love hurts ... (Tianya Happy Paradise)

32. If there is no sex in this world, then I think love will appear ...

33. People with nicknames/IDs called "I love XXX" often end up breaking up ... (Shui Mu Community)

34. How far away your thoughts are, how far you roll! ! ! (Terracotta Warriors)

35. The worst character is to stare at an ugly woman for a long time and then sigh and say, "Damn, this dinosaur is so real ..." (Shui Mu community)

36.mm sighed: "I finally saw blood. Is this disaster even avoided ... "(Baiyun Yellow Crane)

37. If you want to eat swan meat, ask Li Pengya ~ (I love Nankai)

I haven't seen a woman for three years. Now, when I see an old sow, I think it has good characteristics ...

39. I solemnly gave my happiness in this life to my left hand ... (Tianya Happy Paradise)

40. Honey, are you dead? Hold me tight when you die, and let the corpse collector know that we are a couple! (Tianya Happy Paradise)

4 1. Big boys beat girls-play a game name-anti-terrorist elite; The big girl hits the girl-play a game name-Warcraft! (seeking truth from facts)

42. Just graduated: Brothers, see you soon; One year after graduation: brother, and a wife in the future; Later: brothers, regret marrying a wife; Later: brothers, there will be a stepmother; Finally: Brothers, regret marrying the second wife ~ (Tianya Dongfang)

43. General Secretary J said in the celebration of Jiaotong University: "A few years ago, Shanghai Jiaotong University ranked 2 1, and now it ranks third. It seems that my influence is still far-reaching ~ "Now that the general secretary has retired, some officials kick down the bridge and the Hanxin scandal at Jiaotong University is immediately exposed! Hi, I will graduate in July this year and leave the Agricultural University. I wonder what will happen to the Agricultural University ...

44. I have a lot of complaints about girls wearing clothes now! It's only April. What if summer comes? It turns out that the bride wore a lot on her wedding night, and the man untied it layer by layer like peeling bamboo shoots, with a Chinese bra inside. What a wonderful taste it is ~ unlike now, even if I am highly myopic, I can see everything every 50 or 60 meters ... (blue starry sky)

45. The Japanese write "commemoration" as "commemoration". Mr. Lu Xun may have been used to writing in Japan for several years, so he wrote a typo in Memory of Liu Hezhen, which is a common Chinese word now, but what we write like this is a typo ~ It seems that history is written by people and powerful people control it ... (Lilac)

46. Girls, don't just look at people's mounts-because it's not necessarily Zhang Lao Guo who runs donkeys, but maybe the devil who steals mines; It's not necessarily a witch who flies on a broom, but Harry Potter ~(C _ chai/chai 200 1)

47. How to compete for the heroine? If you can't be a hero, try to be a villain; Can't be a villain, try to be a cool supporting role; You can't be a supporting role, at least be a sad corner without fighting with the protagonist. If you can't be a sad corner, you have to be a clown around the protagonist; If you can't even be a clown-I have a collection of 10 yuan here that can teach you how to change the heroine. ...

48. Everyone must boycott Japanese goods-because the Sony mobile phone I just bought has only been used for two weeks and it has broken down! ! (C _ chairman /chai200 1)

49. It is impossible to harm the motherland and there is no reason to deviate from the people.

No capital, no leisure, no ability to harm others and benefit themselves,

There is no opportunity to forget interests and justice, no courage to violate laws and disciplines,

Without money, I am arrogant and extravagant, so I have to be ignorant! (Unnamed Peking University)

50. The most anticipated moment of going to work/school every day-(Shui Mu community)

5 1. "Unemployment" is caused by irreconcilable basic contradictions in capitalist society, which embodies the evil of capitalist system;

"Laid-off" is a very rare phenomenon in the development of the primary stage of socialism, which fully embodies the wisdom and greatness of the party. (Shui Mu Community)

52. The power of habit is terrible-I find that the mobile phone must be placed on the left side of the notebook, because if it is placed on the right side, I can't help holding it as a mouse every time. (Shui Mu Community)

53. Even the worst computer in the class can write "proficient in computers" on his resume, but I dare not write ... (thinking about drinking water)

54. Learning is like being a man. Once you get to the top, you can't get off ~ (mop)

55. Being a eunuch in ancient times is a bit like taking an examination of civil servants now. Everyone has to sharpen their heads to get in ~ (thinking about drinking water)

56. I have never been reduced to an excellent college student, relying on strong quality! (Tianya University Campus)

57. Never seen such a disgusting school-set the mid-term exam on May 8th! ! ! (I love Nankai)

58. The big slogan posted in front of the dormitory building-let's love Jingwei and forum together.

China youth, boycott Japanese goods! (Luojia Mountain Water)

59. Female students in the class are afraid to go back for self-study next night. Later, each of them brought a flashlight. In this way, whenever you meet someone who suddenly jumps out of the grass, just calmly take out a flashlight and shine on your face, and everything will be safe ... (I love Nankai)

60. If a boy chases you, you just reach the average level of mm in our school; If there are five boys chasing you, then you can barely be regarded as a class flower; If ten boys chase you-how boastful it is! This matter is that our institute of technology has ~(MOP).

6 1. God snatched love from my hand and said, "Love is not yours!" "So I cried and let the children play games ... (Tianya University Campus)

62.4 years old, a man in the village passed by my house and stole a chicken. I stood at the door and looked at him eagerly, hoping that he would put the chicken down. Unexpectedly, he raised his shovel and dug a big hole, then pointed to the hole and said to me, "Don't say anything, little guy!"! The end of the world is coming, you see the ground is cracked, hurry home ~ "(Terracotta Warriors)

63.5 years old, my greatest ambition in this life is to marry a princess when I grow up! In order to find the princess of his dreams, the 5-year-old handsome boy proudly ran away from home with a lollipop ~ (drinking water)

64. I like gentle and kind girls, I like girls who talk and do things generously, I like girls who are considerate and responsive, and I also like girls who are mature and steady but a little simple-but they don't like me ... (Tianya University Campus)

65. People who seriously look at mm are good at discovering and feeling beauty, those who seriously look at mm face are decent people, those who seriously look at mm breasts are brave enough to challenge the peak, and those who seriously look at mm waist are ready to go. ~ (tulip)

66. I didn't expect to forget to use it for a third of a second. It is really too long! (Tianya University Campus)

67. It turns out that I am not in love with you, but with love ... (Tianya University Campus)

68. On the eve of being dumped, I dumped that person, because I thought dumping someone was more interesting than being dumped ~ (Tianya Happy Paradise)

69. Before knowing me, my girl friends almost always thought that children were born from assholes ... (Tianya Happy Paradise)

70. A woman is masturbating, so she becomes Japanese! (Tianya Happy Paradise)

7 1. I said I was so handsome, and God slapped me from the fifth floor: "How many times have I told you, don't tell such disgusting jokes before meals!" (Sun Moon Guanghua)

72. Eat less sweets, I have diabetes! ! ! (Drinking from the source)

73. Shit, I've been complained! The client said that the mp3 file I gave him had no image! ! ! (Shui Mu Community)

74. If your appearance is limited, please cancel automatically; If you chat with me, see how you talk; If it's my turn to cancel, it's you who say cheap words! (Tianya Entertainment Gossip)

When his slender stubble touched her warm lips, her charming body trembled and her breathing stopped suddenly. She pushed him away and asked softly in a suffocating tone, "How much garlic did you eat tonight?" (Unnamed Peking University)

76. I just opened the pull ring of coke, and I don't know who shouted "fireinthehole!" I threw coke at the crowd ... (unnamed Peking University)

77. Several buddies were discussing the "size" of girls during recess: 32a, 34A…… .................................................................................................................................................... (Terracotta Warriors)

78. Give you a sausage to satisfy your hunger ~ (mop)

79. Meng De, is your mother all right? (declined to be translated into modern Chinese! Tianya Happy Paradise)

80. During May Day, a sign was hung at the entrance of the haunted house in the amusement park, which read: "Please don't hit the staff of this station by mistake!" (Unnamed Peking University)

8 1. The Japanese child said, "Your children in Beijing are really happy. The desert is just outside the city. You can ride a camel to watch the sunset when you leave the city. " (Terracotta Warriors)

I hate dogs very much. To insult them, I called them Junichiro Koizumi! (Tianya irrigation area)

I don't want to be the sun, because I don't want to turn everyone into a roast pig. But this kind of sacrifice, how can You Zhu understand? ! (Tianya Happy Paradise)

84. When a man wears a skirt, he doesn't feel "below" empty-on the contrary, it feels like hanging a string of wind chimes ~ (Shui Mu community)

85. I absolutely believe that frogs will become princes after kissing, but the key point is that my mother doesn't believe it ~ (Tianya University Campus)

86. You finally lay down, because you dragged the money I gave you ... (Tianya Happy Paradise)

87. Mom said, "If fate catches your throat, you catch the J*B of fate!" " (Tianya Happy Paradise)

88. The sun is the least courageous. Hide as soon as it gets dark and never dare to go out again. The moon is really bold, basically hovering in the sky every night, and sometimes it comes out during the day. Isn't this bullying Sun? ! ! (blue sea and blue sky)

89. Checkers talk about winning secrets: 1. Pave the way for yourself at all costs; 2. When you achieve your goal, you should kick down the ladder immediately; 3. If you fall into an unfavorable situation and cling to your family, you can't win each other and don't want to win easily! (Shui Mu Community)

90. "BL" is a symbol of the development of human civilization, "H" is an exhibition to open the mind, "SM" is a test of human limits, and it is synonymous with women being the strongest creature ... You call me BT? Then thank you! _ (Tianya QQ Inn)

9 1. I can never reach a dream that is too high, and I can never get down a dream that is too low and humble ~ (Tianya University Campus)

92. Is it a paper to complicate simple things and deepen simple truth? (Shui Mu Community)

93. I regret coming to CUHK for graduate study-because the good is ruined, and a little beauty is ruined! (Yixian Time and Space)

94. Since the school bath was changed to charge by flow, many boys have shaved their heads ... (Shui Mu Community)

Time is the best teacher, but it's a pity-in the end, he killed all the students. ...

96. Only women and English are sad, only wives and jobs are hard to find! ! ! (Tianya QQ Inn)

97. As soon as Fudan expanded its enrollment, the price of sows in the whole East China Plain soared all the way, which shows that the "situation" is grim! ! ! (Sun Moon Guanghua)

98. Professor Yang Zhenning told us that beauty is very important, and you need it when you are old.

99. During the kaiyuan period, the envoys of Fanbang respectfully paid tribute to the Tang Dynasty. This is our national treasure, tricolor pearl. Ming Taizu asked why this object got its name, and the envoy replied: "This object was cut open with a knife, and the outermost layer was light blue, the middle was as white as snow, and the inner layer was as red as sunrise, hence the name' Tricolor Pearl'". Ming Taizu looked at it carefully, and Qingyin said with a smile, "Your country named this object' Tricolor Treasure Pearl', but it had another nickname in the middle of the Tang Dynasty ~" The envoy asked, and Ming Taizu replied lightly: "Salty!" (I love Nankai) (Tianya community graphic safety post)