About Jiangmen’s marriage customs

Marriage customs in Wuyi, Jiangmen

Before the founding of the People's Republic of China, there was a custom of early marriage. Men and women got married at the age of fifteen or sixteen. Marriages between men and women are based on the orders of parents and the words of matchmakers, and there is no freedom of marriage. In October of the 2nd year of the Republic of China (1913), Governor Shen Bingren issued a notice stating that free marriage between men and women was strictly prohibited, believing that "nothing can destroy propriety, justice, and integrity more than free marriage." The order of marriage is from eldest to youngest, brother and sister get a new set of clothes first. On the men's side, some even hang their new trousers at the door of the bride's room or home, and the bride has to slip under the trousers when entering. Marriage requires a matchmaker, "three teas and six rites" ("three teas" refers to serving tea; "six rites" refers to the six ceremonies of accepting gifts, asking for names, accepting gifts, accepting invitations, asking for dates, and welcoming people), and the sedan chair passes through the door. Otherwise, it would be "sexual intercourse without a matchmaker". If a man and a woman are found to be having an affair, they are considered immoral and may be expelled from the village, paraded in the streets, or put into pig cages and thrown into the river to drown. The etiquette of "three teas and six rites" is complicated. By the end of the Qing Dynasty, it was slightly simplified. The first one is "asking for the name", that is, giving a "year Geng post" and writing the suitor's birth year, month, day and time on red paper. , hand it over to the matchmaker and pass it on to the other party, and the parents of both men and women hand over the "Nian Geng Tie" to the fortune teller to see if there is any conflict. Then ask relatives and friends to check each other's three generations and send them "three generations stickers". Both parties write the names of their great-parents, grandparents, and parents' place of origin on red stickers, commonly known as "three-generation stickers" to investigate whether they have leprosy and other genetic diseases, and to investigate the other party's character, ability, and financial status to see if they are a good match. The second is "request period", which means sending "gift stickers". The man writes the wedding date on a red sticker and informs the woman. After the woman receives the "gift note", she will reply to the man. The third is "nazheng", that is, the man's family sends someone to send betrothal gifts to the woman's family. First, the man sends the betrothal gift "Three Generations Poster" to the woman, which is also called "making a gift". After the woman received the gift, she gave the woman's "three generations of stickers" to the man. The fourth is "welcome in person". According to the auspicious date agreed by both parties, the bride and groom will be married in a sedan chair. In the middle of the Republic of China, men and women only met each other in society, which was commonly known as "Xiang Di". Generally, a matchmaker leads the way, and both men and women exchange tokens after they agree to get engaged. Most of the tokens are gold rings and gold necklaces, but for poor people, it is just a "red envelope". After the engagement, an auspicious date will be agreed upon, the couple will be married in a car or sedan chair, and the marriage will be formalized. In weddings before the founding of the People's Republic of China, the man had to "go to the head", "welcome the bride", "make arrangements for the new house", and "return to the house after three dynasties" and other complicated etiquette. It is customary for a woman to cry and sing a wedding song before she gets married and gets into the sedan chair. The content is mostly about thanking her parents for raising her and her brothers and sisters for their mutual help and love. During the Japanese occupation, some people even cried and sang songs about marrying girls, accusing the Japanese of their crimes of invading China. After getting married, a woman must stay together forever. After her husband dies, she must "obey the law" and cannot remarry under any circumstances. Anyone who remarries is called "disloyal" and is subject to discrimination. On the contrary, powerful and wealthy men could have three wives and four concubines. After the death of the wife, one can remarry. In addition, there are other vulgar customs for girls such as "marrying to a chicken" and "marrying to a god." The so-called "marrying a chicken" mostly refers to overseas Chinese who are making a living abroad and cannot come back to get married. The parents of both men and women arrange the wedding, using a chicken instead of the groom to worship heaven, earth, and ancestors. Wealthy families would marry a wife for their son who died in infancy. After the bride passed away, she would adopt an adopted son to continue the family line. This kind of "sustaining life" marriage is called "marrying the god's main card". After the founding of the People's Republic of China, both of the above-mentioned bad habits were abolished. Promote freedom of marriage and frugality and simplicity in weddings. "Marrying in a sedan chair" was abolished as early as 1952 during the land reform, and the bride walked or rode a bicycle. The custom of giving wine and feasting has also been greatly reduced. In the 1980s, weddings became more ostentatious and extravagant. Wealthy people generally used cars to get married (or motorcycles), and some used more than 10 cars to form a convoy. Firecrackers were set off along the way, and there was a lot of wine at the wedding. More than 100 seats. The weddings of villagers and fishermen in Shatian District, Xinhui City were held on boats instead of sedan chairs. The men and women sang saltwater songs to express their love for each other.