A Changsha boy was separated from his mother in the northern and southern hemispheres due to the epidemic. His father took care of the baby alone for three years and became a "hardcore dad"

In the past three years, the most indispensable thing is stories. The vagaries of the external world and personal life reflect each other and create many things worth writing about.

The story to be introduced below spans the Pacific Ocean and the northern and southern hemispheres. It sounds very grand, but if you break it down and look at it, it actually mainly takes place in Changsha, Hunan. It is a short story about family love, surprise, regret and waiting. Looking at it, it doesn't seem to be a special case, but it seems to be very unique.

The protagonist of the story is Mr. Zhou from Changsha, Hunan. At the beginning of 2020, the COVID-19 epidemic broke out, and his wife had already gone to work abroad. Flights were canceled due to the epidemic, and the reunion plan had to be postponed. Mr. Zhou began to raise his son almost alone for several years: on one side, he played bad roles and set various rules for his then 2-year-old son; This little naughty boy enjoys childhood.

In the video calls that are connected every day, the son beside him says that he misses his mother, and the mother on the other end of the phone says that she misses her son. Mr. Zhou coaxed me from both sides, but my heart ached. They were all waiting for when they could see each other without a video call.

Such expectations seem to be coming to fruition soon. Mr. Zhou and his son get along day and night, and their relationship has quietly changed: "In the past, my son didn't pay much attention to me, and he was more clingy to his mother. Now he is clinging to me more and more." Although he calls himself a "hard-core old man" Dad", but his son can always taste some tenderness.

"Hard-core" dad raising children: "Rules must be established and strictly enforced"

Mr. Zhou said that he is a "hard-core dad".

My son Xiaoxiao Zhou is 5 years old this year. Mr. Zhou believes that physical exercise is a top priority. After the winter vacation in mid-December, Xiao Zhou had to punch 200 times with a sandbag at home every day. Basic housework must be done by oneself: washing one's own underwear and socks, wiping one's table after eating, throwing away the trash, washing one's own clothes, no adults can help. Little Zhou is already familiar with these.

When he was 2 and a half years old, Xiao Xiaozhou started attending kindergarten. In the crowd of people coming and going at the entrance of the kindergarten, there are only parents holding their children in one hand and carrying schoolbags in the other. Mr. Zhou doesn’t. Even though little Zhou was staggering with his huge schoolbag on his back, Mr. Zhou insisted on letting his son carry his own schoolbag every day. Occasionally, grandma would come to help pick her up. Mr. Zhou also specifically told his mother-in-law, "You must not carry his schoolbag for him, no matter what the reason is."

The old man always feels particularly sorry for his grandchildren. On winter mornings, grandma would put the clothes Xiao Zhou would wear on his bed in advance to prevent her grandson from getting cold. When Mr. Zhou saw it, he took the clothes off the bed and asked his son to get out of bed and put them on by himself.

“Many parents help their children carry schoolbags, carry schoolbags, and do all the little things for their children.” Mr. Zhou said, “It may be an easy thing for us adults, but for children, it is very important. It becomes a bad habit. Rules must be established and strictly enforced."

"Establishing rules" is not an easy thing. Although Xiao Zhou can handle everything now, the process of "setting up rules" has given Mr. Zhou a lot of headaches. Due to his young age, Xiao Zhou could not resist the temptation and ate more snacks than the prescribed number of snacks for the day. At this time, Mr. Zhou will confiscate or even throw away all the snacks without mercy. There is no point in crying or begging, just remember to follow the rules.

But such a "hard-core" father becomes closer to his son day by day. "He was originally more clingy to his mother, but then I started taking care of him by myself, and he gradually became more and more clingy to me," Mr. Zhou said. His requirement for his son is to fear the "rules" rather than fear himself.

In the second half of 2019, Mr. Zhou’s wife went to work abroad. The couple agreed that the lover would go first, and the father and son would go abroad to visit the next year. Unexpectedly, at the beginning of 2020, the COVID-19 epidemic struck and disrupted the family's plans. Mr. Zhou began to raise his children almost alone for three years.

In order to take his son to and from school on time, he found a job from 10 to 5

At the beginning of 2020, news about the "new crown pneumonia epidemic" began to be broadcast, which made Zhou The gentleman felt very uneasy. The few people walking on the street wore masks tacitly, and pharmacies began to sell out of cold medicine, alcohol and other items. He spent the Spring Festival of that year in this tense atmosphere.

The epidemic situation remains unclear.

Wuhan was "locked down", and other cities were also silent; a large number of overseas routes were canceled, and some countries directly or indirectly restricted the entry of Chinese tourists. No one knows how long this situation will last.

Repeated inquiries about immigration policies and the development of the epidemic made Mr. Zhou physically and mentally exhausted: the plan to take his son to visit his lover abroad was put on hold. After discussing with their lover on the video call, they decided to postpone the meeting plan and let Mr. Zhou raise Xiao Zhou alone first.

This is no solution. In Mr. Zhou's own words, "This is my son, how can I escape?"

Mr. Zhou had almost no control over Xiao Zhou until he was 2 years old. Taking care of the son and housework are all done by the lover and mother-in-law. Suddenly, he began to take care of his son alone. The father and son looked at each other, and they were even strangers to each other.

The transformation of Mr. Zhou’s life first started with the change of career. He stopped running a company he had been running because worrying about the company's affairs prevented him from taking Xiao Zhou to kindergarten on time.

Need a job that doesn’t require overtime and allows for more flexible time arrangements. The child's condition is uncertain: we don't know when he will suddenly catch a cold or fever, we don't know when parents will need to go to the kindergarten, and there are also some unknown "situations". In order to cope with these uncertainties, Mr. Zhou joined a real estate company in 2020 and participated in the foreclosure business. The stable schedule of "from 10 to 5" seems to have set a fixed mold for his and Xiaozhou's life - he began to take care of his son's food and daily life alone.

Around two years old, it happens to be the age when Xiao Zhou starts to talk. When talking and communicating with Mr. Zhou, he always asked "Where is mom?"

Xiao Xiaozhou is really too young. He has almost no idea where his mother is or what she is doing. He just instinctively looks for the person he spent time with before he was two years old. But Mr. Zhou always answered his son honestly and seriously: Mom is working abroad, and due to the epidemic, she is temporarily unable to see her. He thinks there is no need to hide, honesty is important at this time.

Mr. Zhou communicates with his lover in the southern hemisphere through video calls every day. Sometimes, the lover on the other end of the phone will cry because he misses his family and becomes emotional, and the son next to him will lower his eyes and have red eyes because he misses his mother. Mr. Zhou himself felt uncomfortable, but he had to be coaxed by both parties.

Mr. Zhou’s lover expressed support for his “hard-core” education for Xiao Zhou on the video call. However, in addition to Mr. Zhou's so-called "hard core", he also gave Xiao Xiaozhou more soft things. Many clues can be found in the daily interactions between father and son: this may explain why Xiao Xiaozhou becomes more and more attached to him.

Besides "hardcore", the relationship between father and son is heating up rapidly; the wait of several years is finally coming to an end

People often have a stereotype: fathers are always careless and less emotional than mothers in all aspects. exquisite. The relationship between Mr. Zhou and Xiao Xiaozhou may break this lie.

On his days off, Mr. Zhou often takes his son out to play. They have visited almost all of the places around Yuelu Mountain and Meixi Lake that are suitable for walking children: Mr. Zhou wants his son to see more natural scenery. As for the popular "chicken baby" wave, he didn't take it seriously at all, and he didn't feel any pressure. "I won't let him learn that kind of thing. It's not necessary."

My son is still too young, and happy education should be the mainstream. Mr. Zhou let his son read picture books, and he slowly learned to recognize and spell the 26 English letters. The community implements separation of people and vehicles. Mr. Zhou sometimes lets Xiao Zhou go downstairs to play by himself, and then calls him home when it is time to eat.

In this way, Xiao Xiaozhou grew from a 2-year-old ignorant toddler into a lively, curious little boy who loves to read quietly.

In the summer of 2021, Mr. Zhou took Xiaoxiao Zhou, Mr. Zhou’s friend and his daughter, and the four of them drove to Guilin, Guangxi Province. The handsome and beautiful landscapes broadened the boundaries of Xiao Zhou's understanding of the world. This trip left him with very beautiful memories.

However, after returning to Changsha, the COVID-19 epidemic began to spread in Zhangjiajie - their self-driving route happened to pass through Zhangjiajie. Mr. Zhou is a little scared when he thinks back now: "The control at that time was relatively strict. What if I have to be quarantined? What should I do if I still take him with me?"

The implication is, what should I do if I can't take care of my son? This is a worry that has always been on his mind.

Recently, the "New Ten Rules" have been promulgated, and it seems possible to return to the life before the lockdown. The life of the father and son has entered a new track, and the happiness that the policy change has brought to their small family is also obvious: Mr. Zhou's lover can finally buy a flight back to China and reunite with his family.

“When all routes return to normal in 2023, there may be no need to grab air tickets by then, and it will become easy to buy tickets.” Mr. Zhou is very optimistic.

He did not expect at first that he would have such a close connection with his son in this way. In the past few years when his lover was not around, he became more familiar with the essence of his identity as a "father" and learned to wait quietly among the daily necessities of life. Waiting for my son to appear at the school gate when kindergarten is over, waiting for my lover’s overseas phone call; waiting for my son to grow up healthy, strong, and smart, waiting for my lover to buy a plane ticket and return to China smoothly for reunion.

Mr. Zhou’s waiting for his lover, just like Xiao Zhou’s waiting for his mother, is about to end. After the bell rings in 2023, the father and son may be even more anxious. Perhaps one day soon, they will appear in the airport arrival hall, waiting for that familiar figure to become clearer step by step.

The picture of Xiaoxiang Morning News reporter Ren Wanwan is provided by the interviewee