How to cultivate the affection between brother and sister?

Once upon a time, there was a child named Kong Rong. He has five brothers and one younger brother. All the brothers love him very much, and the seven brothers get along well.

One day, my father brought back a basket of fresh pears, which were big and delicious. So, let Kong Rong choose first. Kong Rong looked at the pears in the basket. Finally, he chose the smallest pear.

Father smiled and asked Kong Rong: There are so many pears, why did you take the smallest one?

Kong Rong replied: "I am young, so I should take the youngest and leave it to my brother."

The father asked him again, "You have a younger brother, isn't he younger than you?"

Kong Rong said, "I am older than my brother. I'm my brother. I should leave the old one to my brother. "

Kong Rong was four years old, and everyone praised him for letting pears go to his older brother.

This is a etiquette story, which teaches children to be modest in everything. The ancients attached great importance to moral education, and moral common sense was the basis of enlightenment education.

02

Take voluntariness as the starting point

"If you are a sister, let your brother (sister) come."

"You are older than your brother, take care of him more, and don't bully him. Did you hear that? "

"My brother is a child. It is wrong for you to hit people."

Parents with Erbao, do you often educate Dabao about these words?

Toys, let the boss make way for the small, delicious, let the boss make way for the small; As long as the little one is crying, don't ask right or wrong, first educate the big one to understand the little one.

However, the boss is not an adult, and she still doesn't understand: "Why should I let my brother? I don't want to. "

In fact, this is the prejudice of parents. Because the second child is still young, I always hope to teach the boss to take care of the younger one, stop making trouble and let myself worry.

Chen Ming of Chess Manual once said that Kong Rong allowed pears to be made based on children's wishes.

Pears are delivered to Kong Rong first, and he is willing to choose a small one. But before the pear is put in the child's hand, you tell him to let the small one go, and no one is happy.

So the big one gives way to the small one, which must be based on voluntariness. It is a child's active choice, not an adult's mandatory requirement.

When I go to bed at eight or nine o'clock in the evening, my sister is timid and used to sleeping with others, while my brother often wants to drink milk and hug at this time, and the result will be that two people will "grab mom" together.

When dad is at home, he will accompany his sister and try to reason with her, so that she can understand that her brother needs her mother more, while her sister needs humility and patience more when she grows up.

For children over 4 years old, I think she is unlikely to understand this truth. Even if she can understand it, it is difficult to control her emotions.

After that, my sister will stay with my father. I will nurse my brother in the living room, and my sister will always fall asleep reluctantly. After feeding my brother, I came to hug her and kiss her forehead, although she was asleep.

In fact, when a child cries, no one is more sad than his mother, nor does it mean that his mother hurts less than his boss. The entanglement and sadness in the choice is beyond words.

For children over 4 years old, her emotional needs are very strong, while for the younger second child, eating well and sleeping well will be more important than emotional needs, which is why mothers choose.

Now that my father is at work, I will take care of two babies by myself at night. My sister hugged her before going to bed, kissed her and told her mother to feed her brother and let her sleep first. She readily agreed.

Her only request is to talk to her in the room when I feed my brother.

In my opinion, accepting my younger brother from the heart is good for their growth, and it will inevitably make some concessions and sacrifices passively.

03

Let the elder sister take care of the younger brother.

Recently, Fei Jie volunteered to take care of her younger brother, and her performance was still good.

In the morning, a ray of bright sunshine sneaked into the room through the gap in the curtain. My brother stretched, blinked and woke up.

He rubbed his eyes and gave me a look. "Mom ..." There was a little drowsiness in his voice.

After getting up, the princess said "good morning" to my brother and me, dressed, put on socks and folded the quilt. She tried to help her brother put on socks and shoes.

When she wants to eat snacks, she will ask me, "Mom, can I have cookies or cakes?" I said, yes, then you can take one. She will bargain with me, okay? Every time, she would bargain with me about how much she could eat.

Allow her to take one and give half to her brother when eating. Even though her brother sometimes takes a nap, she will stay. If she can get two, she will leave one for her brother.

Usually I ask my sister to help my brother do what she can: feed water, pack toys and hold hands.

Letting my sister take care of my brother can increase their affection and make the boss realize that my brother is an important person in her life. In the process of constantly taking care of the younger brother, the feelings of the two children are getting better and better.

Professor Li Meijin said that when two children have an argument, the focus of education should be on the big one, not on protecting the small one.

For example, I gave my princess a mung bean cake to share with her brother. She can share as much as she wants. I try not to say anything. The younger one has given less and won't talk about it now, because she can only accept her sister's proposal. Even if there is trouble sometimes, his sister's driving force is there. Without the intervention of adults, he has no chance.

The fact is that when the boss has power, he will take care of the small ones slowly and give more on his own initiative.

Respect the identity of the boss, and she will slowly show what you expect.

As for cultivating feelings, what I want to say is that this matter is not my mother's alone. Family members need to work together to create a better environment for them to build their feelings.