Tell the truth about the original lines in the sketch of "The Strange Tales of the Soldiers"

Venue: Village Committee Office

Character: A farmer.

B- county party secretary

C- village head

Props: one table and three chairs.

(It says on the side of C)

C: Ah, the newly appointed county magistrate will come to the grass-roots level for inspection and guidance, which worries a group of village leaders. I heard that I want to talk to representatives of the masses, and I want to name Liu Laogen and Niu Wang. I'm afraid Liu Laogen didn't close the door. Let me recite his words.

A: I heard that the county magistrate asked me to talk, and I was too excited to speak. I can't kiss up. Ah, Cui Yongyuan's specialty-to tell the truth.

(I saw the village head when I entered the door)

Village head, is the county magistrate there?

B: Forget it, Lao Gen. Never mind whether the county magistrate is here or not.

A: I don't care if the county magistrate comes or not. I don't want to talk to you about anything at home.

C: Just now, the township head called and said that the county magistrate had started. It is estimated that he has arrived in that village by now. I will take the time to teach you how to speak.

(b) Step forward quietly and stand aside to listen to them.)

A: Village head, I'm Liu Laogen. I'm not a three-year-old child. Do you need to teach me how to speak?

C: The county magistrate wants to ask you a question. Do you know how to answer?

A: Tell the truth!

C: to tell the truth? Some things can't be said.

A: Of course, for example, you can't say the passbook password.

C: You made trouble on purpose, didn't you? The county magistrate will be here soon. Let me talk to you about business. The county magistrate wants to ask you, how did you change from an ordinary farmer to an ox king? What did you say?/Sorry?

A: It's hard to say. The party's policy is good. I'm rich and smart, and cows are quite competitive. I milk and eat grass.

Is it over? This village committee and township government will not say a word about your support.

A: Don't mention your support. It's my bad luck these years. Building a school in the village, you ask me to support it, and one support is 20 thousand, and the road construction asks me to support it, that is, building a road to run a school.

School is the business of ordinary people. I am willing to pay some money. You bought a car and asked me to support you. When people came, you asked me to support you when you were eating, drinking and entertaining. What is this?

Seriously, what are you talking about?

A: Village head, do you know what the masses say about you?

Say what?

A: Don't look at the poverty of our village and the red face of drinking all day, and don't look at you small officials, all of whom have Santana.

Who is talking nonsense?

A: Village head, they all say that Liu Laogen has made a fortune in recent years, so I only take Li Xia, and each of you has a Santana. Boy, don't you blush when I try your sauna?

Well said!

C: Who are you looking for and who let you in?

B: I'm looking for Liu Laogen.

A: I'm Liu Laogen. You wanted to see me?

I want to talk to you about something.

Go away, we have something to do.

I'm getting down to business, too

C: The county magistrate wants to talk to him later, okay? County magistrate, the length of a county, is not more important than you?

A: But no matter what county, if it wants to manage the affairs of the world, it is not the county magistrate, but the Secretary-General of the United Nations.

Don't join the heckling. (b) stay away.

Please wait for me for a moment.

B: OK, OK, you go first.

C: The county magistrate must ask how many cows you have, how much milk you can milk every day and how much money you can earn a year.

A: I know this. Open your mouth and come. I have XX cows, and I can milk XX catties every day.

C: You can't say that. You have to say more.

A: It can't be honest, can it? I said ten thousand heads, milking ten thousand tons of milk every day. Who believes me?

C: I didn't ask you to talk nonsense. Remember, you got rich by raising cattle. You can't say that.

I see you're bragging.

Captain: But you are the king of cattle.

I think you are a braggart.

C: bragging is not taxed.

A: I blew my head and suffered.

Can you listen to me?

B: Aren't you forcing honest people to lie?

C: (Yes) What can I do for you?

I think it sounds crazy.

You sound ridiculous. Do you think I sound ridiculous? As soon as the county magistrate took office, he came to our office to inspect the work I heard that his idea of going to the grassroots level this time is to understand the situation of farmers getting rid of poverty and getting rich and the burden on farmers. If you can't produce a decent typical village leader, how can you explain it? Hey, let me tell you something. Stay away from me and don't interrupt. Where was I?

A: Speaking of blowing into the air.

Yes, blowing into the air. What do you mean, blown into the air?

A: what is it when you talk too much?

(The phone rings and C answers it.)

C: Hello, this is me. What? The county magistrate hasn't come yet? Liu Laogen, here he comes. Ah, I'm teaching him to talk. Please rest assured that the leaders will never reveal their intentions and will not discredit our village. I also arranged a reception. I'm still at the Drunk Eight Immortals Hotel. I know that beer should be audible, dishes should be wild and music should be the most fashionable. The waiter will be confused when he looks at it.

A: Eating and drinking enough is madness.

C: What are you talking about? (On the phone) I'm not talking about you. Okay, okay, I'll wait.

(to Liu Laogen)

C: I asked you to bring some bullwhip. Did you bring it?

A: No!

C: No? It is still necessary to entertain the township head at noon.

You ask me for it every three days Where can I get you so many bullwhip? Village head, it is a basic national policy for this person to practice family planning. I don't need this cow, and I can't turn all my breeding cows into eunuchs in order to make you kiss up to the county magistrate.

Yes, you are right. Let's talk about reporting to the county magistrate first.

A: If you want me to say it, I will tell the truth. I was born with this frankness, and I won't lie.

C: Who do you think is frank? The county magistrate wants to talk to you just for a formality. What does he foolishly know? You can fool him away by saying anything. When the county magistrate is satisfied and the township head is happy, you will suffer. Do you understand the consequences of not following the instructions of the leader?

A: What are the consequences?

C: Don't forget, it's better for the county magistrate to have the final say now. You have offended the township leaders. Can't you open your cattle farm?

A: (pondered for a moment) Village Chief, I also know your difficulties. How much have I lost in running this cattle farm in recent years?

Only I know how much I have suffered. I just made a few dollars. Reach out today, ask for money tomorrow, write a note today, and owe money tomorrow. The son of the township head asked me to get 100 kilograms of beef, and promised to pay the money in two days. Now the little grandson of the township head has been weaned and hasn't paid me back a penny.

C: You only saw the veal, but the head of the township contacted the market for you, don't you remember?

A: Don't mention it. As far as the clients he contacts are concerned, he never talks about eating and drinking. The price of milk is similar to that of tap water. In recent years, I have been milking the milk drop by drop, but you have taken a lot of money from my pocket. I can't tell you anything if there is ice ice. It is easy to have the opportunity to tell my superiors what I know and complain about grievances.

B: Comrade Liu Laogen, you are right. We just want you to say what you think!

C: Hey, hey, don't add fuel to the fire. What do you do?

B: I'm the stupid township head you want to fool.

(A and C are both surprised)

A: It's broken. This time I hit the gun, and the leak was big.

You drink milk, but you drink tea. Why did you come alone?

A: If I follow the circle drawn by others, I am a fool.

(Holding Liu Laogen's hand)

Thank you, Lao Liu, for letting me know the real situation and listen to the voices of the masses. The superiors emphasize every day to help farmers get rich and reduce their burdens, but how can it be so difficult to really implement it?

A: Don't be angry, county magistrate. I was just talking nonsense. In fact, they also have specific difficulties.

I hope this is nonsense, but it's true. Yes, they do have difficulties, and no matter how difficult they are, they can't ask farmers for money to solve their own difficulties. (c) When we ask farmers for money, what we lose is the prestige of the government and the trust of the masses. Tell your township head that anyone who wants to dig another penny from the farmers will be detained now.

(to Liu Laogen)

Lao Liu, let's go and see your cattle farm together, shall we? Talk to everyone, but tell the truth.

A: Welcome, welcome, everyone has been looking forward to this day for a long time.

(a and b)

B: county magistrate, county magistrate! (Want to chase, the phone rings, answer the phone)

Hey, it's me, flight attendant. It's amazing. The county magistrate came in person and left with Liu Laogen. He knows everything. Hey, I'm not in the mood to joke with you. I am telling the truth.

(Put down the phone)

County magistrate, county magistrate!

(Chasing down)