Beijing Wedding Customs An inventory of modern and traditional wedding customs

Beijing Wedding Customs: Beijing Modern Wedding Customs

1. Customs before the wedding

Although modern marriage is not as complicated as in ancient times, there are still many Customs have been passed down from generation to generation, and of course the most important custom before marriage should be the giving of betrothal gifts. Generally, before the wedding, the parents of both men and women talk about matchmaking and go on a blind date. After the engagement, the man sends a bride price to the woman's family to express that he has appointed her as his wife. Betrothal gifts are generally items with special meaning. In modern times, if two people fall in love and declare to be married, the man usually has to send a betrothal gift to the woman's home, but the dowry gift requirements vary from place to place. The engagement is the last and most important step before the wedding. After the woman receives the betrothal gift from the man, she sends the dowry from her natal family to the man's family on the afternoon before the wedding. Nowadays, it is usually the man who prepares the new house, and the woman's dowry usually consists of the furniture and electrical appliances for the new house. Perhaps because Beijing is the capital city and is more influenced by foreign countries, modern betrothal gifts in Beijing are not like liquor in other regions, but foreign liquor, which represents a long-lasting meaning.

On the night before the wedding, the woman will find a lucky man (with a happy family, living parents, and a son) to install a new bed in the new house, and put peanuts, red dates, walnuts and other foods on the bed. The head of the bed means giving birth to a child early. At the same time, on this night, the woman will choose an auspicious time to worship God, heaven and earth, pray for happiness, and will notify the man to worship at the same time.

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2. Customs on the wedding day

Of course, the first part of the wedding is to welcome the bride! It is worth noting that in Beijing, on the morning of the wedding, the man’s The wedding team is about to come to the bride's house to pick up the bride, because Beijing's wedding customs emphasize that the wedding ceremony must be completed before 12:00. Nowadays, weddings are mostly in Western style.

Nowadays, picking up the bride is a highlight of the entire wedding. The first level is the "entry". If he wants to successfully receive the beauty, the groom must pass a series of intelligence and physical tests. If necessary, he will also add love songs and love words, but the most important thing is the generous opening red envelope. In short, all the sisters are satisfied. The door opens at the back. This part is a lot of fun.

When welcoming the bride, the groom should bring bouquets to the bride. He should also find the red shoes for the bride to wear in the house where he picks up the bride, and help the bride put them on before taking the bride away. When the bride goes out, the bridesmaid will hold a red umbrella to accompany the bride and groom, and will throw rice to the chickens as they go to prevent the chickens from pecking the bride. The car that welcomes the bride must also go around the auspicious roads in the urban area, such as Jixiang Road, Huifu Road and other roads with auspicious meanings. After welcoming the bride, there is a passing ceremony, which means that the bride formally enters the groom's family after leaving the bride's family, and pays homage to the aunt and other elders of the groom's family.

Beijing usually welcomes the bride in the morning and holds the wedding ceremony in the hotel at noon. The wedding ceremony is generally Western-style. Firecrackers are not allowed in the urban area. They usually use balloons instead. The newlyweds must pay attention to this. Don't commit a foul just for fun. In fact, stepping on balloons is very innovative and fun.

After the wedding banquet begins and when it is time to serve the fish, the bride and groom will change into traditional dragon and phoenix gowns to serve tea to the guests. Due to Beijing’s custom of getting married at noon, the bridal chamber is generally not held, but now it is common during wedding banquets It can be very noisy, especially if there are many young friends together, drinking and making some small noises are inevitable! After the wedding banquet is over, some will disperse, but some close friends will stay, and the couple will get along with some Friends go to the new house to visit or entertain.

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Beijing wedding customs 3. Customs of returning home after marriage

After the wedding night, the newlyweds should worship the gods together early the next morning. The Buddha and his clan relatives met for three generations and visited their parents and other elders to determine their names and identify their elders.

On the third day after the wedding, the bride and groom usually go back to their natal home to have a farewell ceremony with their father, brothers, relatives and friends, which is what we often call the return home, also called "return wine". In ancient times, the natal family usually sent someone to pick up the bride in a carriage early in the morning. Before leaving, the bride kowtowed to her parents-in-law, and then took the carriage to her natal home with the groom to meet her. After arriving at their parents' home, the newlyweds should salute the gods, Buddhas and clan tablets in the family hall, and then kowtow to the woman's parents and elders. After the ceremony, a banquet was held and the newlyweds were invited to drink. After the meal, the groom goes home alone, and the bride will not come back until evening.

In modern times, of course, it is not as troublesome as in ancient times. Generally, the bride and groom take home gifts and return to their parents' home to meet their father-in-law and mother-in-law.

Beijing’s traditional wedding customs

The first step:?Guarantee the bride?

The so-called guarantee of the bride means introducing the marriage. When parents choose spouses for their children, they usually ask relatives and friends to help them, which is commonly known as "matchmaking." The procedure is usually as follows: After being introduced by a matchmaker, after the parents of both men and women agree, they must first write a "portal post" on which the names, ages, place of origin, names of grandparents and grandchildren, official positions, etc. are written on it, so that The matchmakers pass the letters to each other's parents for review. Then, the man's housewife chooses an auspicious day to visit the girl's house. In fact, she is trying to find out all the circumstances of the girl's house, such as the official status of her family members, their property status, and the girl's virtue, talent, and appearance.

The second step: "Combined marriage"

After mutual visits and visits, and both parents have no objections, the next step is "combined marriage". Each man and woman use an origami called Shun red paper to write a "birthday horoscope", and list the heavenly stems and earthly branches of the year, month, day and time when both men and women were born on the paper, and then ask the astrologer to test it. Looking at the horoscopes of both men and women, it is commonly known as "bazi horoscopes". This is the so-called "combined marriage".

According to the old Chinese marriage system, it is generally necessary to go through astrologers' calculations and believe that the male and female have compatible zodiac signs before getting married, so as to avoid the couple being incompatible or hindering the family fortune after marriage. In old Beijing, there is a so-called "Twelve Zodiac Signs that match each other" saying: "Green rabbits and yellow dogs have existed since ancient times; red horses and yellow sheep have a long life; dormice and yellow ox are prosperous; green ox and black pig are happy; dragon and rooster live longer." ?In addition, there is also the saying that the twelve zodiac signs are in conflict with each other: the white horse is afraid of the green ox, the sheep and the rat are afraid of death, the snake and the tiger are like knives, the dragon and the rabbit are in tears, the golden rooster is afraid of the jade dog, and the pig and monkey are afraid of each other. ?

After some calculations by Mr. Mingguan, the marriage between man and woman will come to fruition. Under normal circumstances, Mr. Mingguan will write out the identification based on the birth dates and zodiac signs of Qian Zao (man) and Kun Zao (female) (such as the combination of son and ugly, etc.), and then the auspicious days and days based on the zodiac. Find the direction of the God of Joy, decide on a wedding date, and write these things on a red paper fold. This red paper origami is the so-called "dragon and phoenix tie". In the traditional marriage system, this "dragon and phoenix tie" is particularly important. It is equivalent to today's marriage certificate. Only by obtaining it can the marriage formalities be completed.

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The third step: Settlement?

Settlement, commonly known as engagement, is the procedure to confirm the marriage relationship. There are two forms of Fang Ding in old Beijing, namely Fang Xiao Ding and Enlarged Ding. Fang Xiaoding is also called "Guo Xiaotie". It is a certain engagement ceremony. Because the scale is relatively small, it is called Xiaoding. After Mr. Mingguan's deliberation, both men and women selected an auspicious day to hold the ceremony. Usually, the man gives the woman one or a pair of metal rings and lets her wear them on her hands. Some wealthy families are particularly particular about it. During the wedding ceremony, the man will give the woman four pieces of gold and silver jewelry, namely a pair of rings, a pair of pots, a pair of earrings, and a necklace. Its purpose is nothing more than to show that the man restrains the girl according to the "family law", intending to make her stable after marriage. After the ceremony, the girl changed her hair style, from braids without braids to red braids. The girl's family restrained the girl from going out and prepared a dowry, while the man began to prepare for the wedding.

Zhang Ding, also known as "Guo Dali", refers to the man sending a bride price to the woman in order to determine the wedding date. Enlarged Ding means that the marriage between a man and a woman is a foregone conclusion. It is often at this time that a woman asks for a bride price from the man, which is undoubtedly a concentrated expression of a marriage-for-sale marriage. When parents marry off their daughters, it is like selling a commodity. They openly ask for a price, and sometimes both parties negotiate. If you are alone in magnified meditation, you will receive more gifts than in small meditation. The man's family will give some jewelry, clothes, etc. to the girl's family. Of course, the rich are very particular about it, as the Beijing nursery rhyme sings: "Little girl, have a dream, I dreamed that my mother-in-law came to make a decision, real gold bars, wrapped with gold ingots, a pink skirt with gold phoenix, embroidered shoes, a butterfly dream. ?

Step 4: "Wedding"

Wedding is also called "Wedding", or "Wedding", which is the most lively step in the old-style wedding. There was a nursery rhyme at that time: "The big girl is big, the second girl is second, the little girl goes out and gives me a message." Build a greenhouse and put happy words on it. Twenty pairs of ox-horn lanterns, two for marrying the wife, and a pair of lanterns for the bride.

Eight groups of coats are spread wide open, and four-wheeled carriages with two horses are paired, reflecting the lively scene when welcoming the bride. The wedding ceremony is usually held in the morning. First, the marrying wife goes to the wedding room to offer incense to the God of Heaven and Earth. The groom then goes forward and kowtows three times according to the wishes of the marrying wife. After the bride gets on the sedan, the wedding team carries the sedan to the groom's home. When the wedding procession approaches the house, drummers are usually ordered to play gongs and music. When the bride arrives at the wedding room, the bride will be rouged and powdered to decorate her. This etiquette is commonly known as "opening the face", which means that the bride has changed from a girl to a young woman. Later, under the auspices of the wedding wife, the bride and groom offered incense to the Lord of Heaven and Earth and kowtowed three times, which is called "worshiping heaven and earth". After bowing, the husband and wife bow to each other and perform the wedding ceremony.

After the wedding ceremony, the first thing to do is to sit in the tent. The groom and the bride both sit on the edge of the Kang in the bridal chamber. The groom presses his left lapel on the bride's right lapel, which means that the man should overwhelm the woman, and it also means that the man and the woman have slept together. After the marrying wife said a few auspicious words, she pulled the curtain, which was called "clearing the tent". Then, the bride and groom drink a glass of wine. When drinking, tie the two wine glasses together with a red ribbon. The wife of the bride will hand one glass to the groom, and the wife of the bride will hand the other glass to the bride. Each drinks half of the glass and then exchanges, which means "A thousand-mile marriage is tied by a thread." Then, the newlyweds eat "children and grandchildren dumplings" and "longevity noodles" together. When eating, the groom's family usually arranges for a boy to ask loudly through the window: "Are you pregnant?" The wife or groom will answer: "Birth!" It means giving birth to offspring.

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The fifth step: "Have a wedding ceremony"

On the night of the wedding, you usually have to "Have a wedding ceremony." In Beijing and many places in the north, the custom of "no sex for three days" is popular. People who hold the old concept believe that the more trouble there is, the more trouble there is. There are many forms of making love. Some throw candies and happy fruits to the newlyweds; some persuade the newlyweds to drink or even drink them; some tie apples to the tent with strings for the newlyweds to chew. What was originally a wonderful wedding night turned into an unbearable prank.

Step 6: Go back?

After the wedding night, early the next morning, the newlyweds should worship God, Buddha and three generations of relatives together, and visit their parents, etc. Elders, determine the status and identify the size. On the third day after the wedding, the bride usually returns to her natal home to pay a farewell ceremony to her father, brothers, relatives and friends. This is the so-called "Hui Men", also called "Hui Jiu". Usually early in the morning, the natal family will send someone to drive a carriage to pick up the bride. Before leaving, the bride kowtows to her parents-in-law, and then takes a carriage with the groom to her natal home to meet her. After arriving at their parents' home, the newlyweds must salute the gods, Buddhas and clan tablets in the family hall, and then kowtow to the woman's parents and elders. After the ceremony, a banquet was held and the newlyweds were invited to drink. After the meal, the groom goes home alone, and the bride will not come back until evening. At this time, a dramatic wedding came to an end.

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