Your attitude towards your circle of friends hides your pattern.

Today, a new "dark mode" named "dark mode" was launched. My sister's circle of friends was screened for the first time.

But after the brush, Xin Jie found that in the comment area of boudoir circle, there was a glaring comment that read:

"Is this a small circle of friends?"

Seriously, this is not the first time Sister Xin has seen such comments.

Nowadays, more and more people set their circle of friends to be visible for only three days.

For example, Sister Xin has a friend who used to record her life in a circle of friends, whether it was food, work or travel. Of course, she also likes taking selfies.

For a while, a kind of "anonymous evaluation" game suddenly became popular in the circle of friends. Through a small program, you can write down your impression of your friends anonymously. Unexpectedly, before long, this friend stopped making friends. Because she received this comment:

"Taking selfies every day is not a serious person at first glance."

In private, Sister Xin has a good relationship with this girl. She is kind, enthusiastic and has many hobbies. She likes photography and baking. What she shared in her circle of friends was her real life.

But from that day on, she rarely sent photos again.

There is such a topic on social networking sites: "What kind of circle of friends looks particularly Low?"

The answers are varied.

Some people say that people who punch in the circle of friends every day are the lowest. Who are they pretending to show it to?

Some people say that people who show love in a circle of friends are the lowest, not stars. What's there to see by taking a break?

Some people say that the people who forward horoscopes are the lowest. It's 2020. How can anyone still believe this?

Think about it, what do they think is low? It is nothing more than the ordinary love, family, life and entertainment of every ordinary person.

Aren't these the fireworks of secular society?

Behind insisting on punching in may be a person's sense of ritual towards life, a brand-new attitude towards life after insisting on getting up early and exercising;

Behind Sun Waxiu's love, maybe it's just a happy mentality and the adjustment of daily life;

Forwarding horoscopes may just be for good luck and entertainment.

Is this kind of fireworks really that bad?

I don't think so. This kind of fireworks is actually very cute. It shows us the beauty of trivial life.

But I don't know when it started. Some people are getting used to defining others through their circle of friends: this is too low-level and that is too showy; I don't like this, that and that; Laugh at this and despise that.

Is there really so much to despise in life?

I remember that a few years ago, "contempt chain" was rated as one of the top ten buzzwords of the year.

That year, we learned that people who watch American dramas will be despised by those who watch English dramas; Watching comedies will be despised by watching literary films; Listening to pop music will be despised by listening to jazz; People who post it will be despised by people who visit Zhihu.

Now, the chain of contempt in the circle of friends has quietly appeared: selfie is better than taking pictures, punching cards is better than exercise, showing love in the sun is better than traveling around the world, and food baking is three or six points.

So, can you stand on the "upstream" of the so-called contempt chain without being discussed?

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Others will say, "You must have been to so many places to show off your wealth."

So, what if someone doesn't like to send friends at all?

Some people will say, "You must have no friends in this cold."

The chain of contempt is like a strange circle, and no one will stand at the top.

In the social network environment, each of us is a critic and is criticized.

Under such harsh judgment standards, some people choose to remain true, while others choose to succumb to the standards. In this way, social media has gradually become a stage to show people's designs, and real life has been added with layers of "filters" 3354.

Since truth is absurd, we use fallacies to decorate the facade.

In the Japanese variety show Nino Sang, the real life of a real Nami in the west of internet celebrities was revealed.

From the social networking site instagram, life in A Xin is interesting and rich: food, pets, parties, travel living rooms are clean and tidy, and life is colorful.

However, when the film crew was pushing the house with Makami Nishi, they saw the scene of 3354.

Debris piled up like a mountain and there was no place to live.

So, how are those beautiful photos taken on the website?

Nishimoto has his own secret: just clean up the place. If you want to show that you have friends, prepare an extra set of tableware.

Obviously, I don't like salad, but because the food is beautiful and healthy, Nami Makoto in the west can compromise her preference.

In fact, the cute dog in the photo has been raised by his parents.

In order to show social skills and affinity, Zhenbo Nishi will celebrate a "fake birthday" for friends.

What did Nishimoto get? Maybe she will be sought after and loved by fans, but sadly, fans only like the person she created.

We don't show our true selves, but show ourselves according to others' expectations, and strive to get others' love and recognition. This kind of life, undoubtedly living in the eyes of others, is really too tired.

Regarding the setting of society and individuals, I like a passage by Jiang in "Wonderful Congress". She said:

"In the social network environment, the content we send in the circle of friends every day is expected to be praised by others, and the needs that others like are magnified as never before. But being liked is risky. You will find that this favorite self often masks a true self. "

"I have always felt that everyone has their own unique value. In the process of realizing this value, there may be exposure and embarrassment, but it is actually a very big risk to give up the pursuit of personal unique value and build popular people's houses. "

What is this risk?

The risk is that you may never know how cute you really are.

Each of us has a different starting point, different growth environment, different circumstances and different stages of life.

Some people think that raising a child has nothing to bask in; But as a new mother, watching her children grow up bit by bit is the most surprising and healing part of her life.

Some people think that the copy of Forwarding Ma Hao Yun is too low; But for parents and elders, this is a blessing of long-distance love.

Some people think that reading rattan school, living in a mansion and watching aurora in a circle of friends are showing off; But for some people, this is a normal life.

Some people think it's just a meal. What's there to shoot? But for him who just got his first salary, this luxurious self-help is like a gas station in his life.

When talking about A Dream of Red Mansions, Jiang Xun once said: "There is a compassionate attitude in A Dream of Red Mansions. Everyone's life is not easy, and it will not be erased when written. "

Yes, in this world, there is a kind of goodwill, which is called not easy to understand others; There is an epiphany that you know what you don't know; There is a kind of modesty that is definitely one-sided.

I'm not you. I haven't experienced your life, so I can't define you through your circle of friends.

The pond is muddy but lovely, and there are fish swimming under the lotus leaf;

The lake is dry but clear, and pebbles sleep at the bottom of the lake;

The ocean is dangerous but interesting. You can hear the wind and seagulls.

Can our life rank as "369"? Which is more advanced, a small pond or a river, lake or sea?

One's life can't be scored unilaterally.

The circle of friends is the same, the purpose is just to record and share. We really don't need to look at other people's lives, let alone please others' aesthetics.

Perhaps the best attitude towards pluralistic life is not to treat different lifestyles with arrogance and please different aesthetic standards.