Humorous stories under 159 words

Campus class

1. One day the geography teacher asked the students, where does the river flow?

A student suddenly stood up and sang: The river flows eastward.

The teacher ignored him and continued, how many stars are there in the sky?

The classmate sang again: The stars in the sky are in the Big Dipper.

The teacher was furious: Get out of here!

Student: Let’s go if we say so.

The teacher said helplessly: Are you sick?

Student: You have it, I have it all!

Teacher: Please say one more thing...

Student: When there is injustice on the road, let’s roar!

Teacher: Do you believe that I will beat you?

Student: Take action when it’s time to take action...

Teacher is angry: I will let you drop out of school!

Student: Traveling across Kyushu!

2. In the Chinese class, the teacher asked: "In ancient times, what were the ways of calling 'I'?"

The students answered: "I, I."

Xiao Ming shouted: "I am the widow,"

The teacher ignored him and asked: "What else are there? ”

Xiao Ming shouted again: “I am a poor monk, a poor Taoist,”

The class was already laughing.

3. When we were in high school, some teachers treated students very badly. A group of students had been oppressed for a long time, so they decided to punish the teacher.

On this day, the teacher was giving a lecture in class, and a boy sitting in the back row looked in pain, covering his stomach with his hand and moaning softly. The teacher ignored him and continued to lecture. Halfway through, the teacher turned around to write notes on the blackboard, and the boy suddenly said "Wow...!!!" (vomiting sound)

Same A boy at the desk poured a bottle of eight-treasure porridge onto the boy's desk very quickly. When the teacher turned around, he saw that the desk was covered with yellow and white things. At this time, another boy took out a small spoon and scooped up the things on the desk one by one. While chewing, he said: "Hey, this guy ate peanuts for lunch."

The teacher saw this: "Wow...concave...",

Comprehensive

1. The old couple went to take pictures, and the photographer asked: "Uncle, do you want Side light, backlight, or full light? "The uncle said shyly: "I don't care, can you leave a pair of pants for your aunt?"

2. Wife's Quotes: You are allowed to get drunk, you are allowed. You seduce a girl, but you must return to my team at night. If you dare to break my heart and hurt my lungs, I will cripple your third leg and make your bird sleep forever.

3. Two dumplings got married. After seeing off the guests, the groom returned to the bedroom and found a meatball lying on the bed! The groom was shocked and asked where the bride was. Meatballzi said shyly: "I hate it. You won't recognize me when I take off my clothes!"

4. Two old couples had a sudden idea while having dinner one day: eat naked! Find the feeling you had before! After taking off her clothes, the old woman said: I still have a reaction! My breasts are still as hot as when I was young! The old man glanced sideways and said, "It drooped into the soup!"

5. Four mice brag: A: I eat rat poison as candy every day; B: I don’t step on a mouse for a day and make my feet itchy; C: I don’t feel safe on the street only a few times a day; D. : It’s getting late. Let’s go home and pick up the cat.

6. The sky is blue, the sea is deep, and none of what a man says is true; love is eternal, blood is bright red, and a man cannot survive without fighting; if a man is rich, , and everyone is destined, a man can be relied upon, and a pig can climb a tree.

7. A group of ants climbed onto the elephant's back, but were shaken off. Only one ant held on to the elephant's neck tightly. The ants below shouted: strangle him to death. Choke him to death, you little guy, and you fucking rebelled!

8. The child stole the parrot raised in the brothel home. As soon as he entered the door, the parrot screamed: Moving! When he saw his mother, he yelled again: The boss has changed too! When he saw his sister, he shouted again: "The lady has changed too!" When he saw his father, he yelled again: We are still a regular customer!

9. Life is a long road, who can take a few steps! The family needs to be taken care of, and the lover needs to be taken care of! There is a cook at home, a kind-hearted person outside, a good-looking person sitting across the table, and someone I miss far away! Keep two, keep one, and develop three, four, five, six, seven!

10. A puppy climbed up on your dining table and crawled towards a roast chicken. You said angrily: I will do whatever you dare to do to that roast chicken, but the result is small. The dog licked the chicken's butt and you fainted. The dog happily said: Let's see who is cruel.

11. Legend has it that tonight, the ghost is lingering, the dead light appears again, and the ghost is wandering around! May the ghost hear my call and come to celebrate your birthday in the middle of the night, with a pale face, green eyes, and dry hands touching your face, and say to you on my behalf: Good night!

12. A man always has a smile on his face and his eyes are sparkling. He is either being mean or cheating! A woman with enlarged breasts and slim waist, who is slutty and coquettish, will either pick your pocket or put a black knife on you! These days, men, monsters, and witches, be careful!

13. You were walking on the road, and a female dog pounced on you, bit a piece of meat from your foot, and quickly swallowed it. When you stretched your foot and was about to kick it, the dog said with tears: You Fight, I already have your flesh and blood in my belly anyway!

14. The mouse was very depressed when he didn’t have a girlfriend. Finally, a bat agreed to marry him, and the mouse was very happy.

Others laughed at his lack of vision. Mouse: What do you know? She is a stewardess after all.

15. A friend asked a bat how he could marry a mouse. The bat had tears in its eyes and said meaningfully: Alas! That day he took Viagra, which gave him strong firepower, and he jumped up to the ceiling, allowing him to get it.

16. I spend a dime to send you this text message to tell you that I am not a penniless person. For example, this dime text message is my birthday gift to you.

17. The ant is lying lazily in the soil with one leg stretched out. Your friend asks you what you are doing? Ant: The elephant will come later, trip him up.

18. When a magpie comes, mother says it is a happy bird and a guest; when a swallow comes, mother says it is a beneficial bird and a guest; when a crow comes, the child asks, are you also a guest? The crow cries: Yes, I am a hacker!

19. A beautiful woman found that her lipstick was too heavy, so she wiped it with a wet tissue and threw it on the road. An old man picked it up, looked at it for a long time and suddenly realized, he caught up and said: Girl, this ultra-thin one is easy to fall off!

20. Cucumber cried in love, and Eggplant comforted her: love is not only sweet and intoxicating, but also heartbreaking and tearful. well! Who made you fall in love with onions?

21. Yesterday I dreamed that God said he could grant me a wish. I took out a globe and said I wanted world peace, but he said it was too difficult to change to another one. I took out your photo and said I wanted this person to become beautiful, and he After thinking for a while, he said, "I'll take a look at the globe."

22. A girl is so ugly that she cannot marry and hopes to be trafficked. My dream finally came true, but I couldn’t sell it for half a month.

The kidnappers sent her back, but she refused to get out of the car. The kidnappers gritted their teeth and stamped their feet: Let’s go, I don’t want the car.