Sanmao's last lover

Text | Asia-Pacific Daily Special Reporter Liu Lili

American Rick O 'Shea said that he still thinks of Sanmao today.

65438+ Every year1October 4th is the anniversary of Sanmao's death. On this day 25 years ago, the famous woman writer hung herself on the dripping hook in the bathroom with a pair of brown stockings, leaving her regrets to the readers, her sadness to her family and her hidden pain to the man named Rick.

Sanmao's life is full of romance. The world regrets her love story with Jose and her love affair with Wang, but I don't know that there is another Rick who has known Sanmao for more than ten years. When this relationship is about to bear fruit, he gets the news of her suicide and becomes her last lover.

"Sometimes, when we think of the past, it's like watching a movie. Our acquaintance with Sanmao is like a movie, but I am real. People in China call this fate or predestination, "he said.

"I don't know who she is or why she is famous."

In February, the "King of Western Songs" received a letter from Sanmao, a female writer in Taiwan Province.

"Robin, thank you for remembering that I got engaged to an old British friend, Mr. Oszer, in June 2004 165438+ 10. No news, no notice to anyone, only two people quietly went out to eat. Go back to Taiwan Province and tell your parents that's it ... Robin, I'm leaving. Wish me a peaceful and happy future. Thank you. "

The emotional entanglement between San Mao and Wang is an unsolved case in history. These two men, who are 30 years apart, once had a sweet Hongyan biography. Robin once wrote: "Bernard Shaw has an old umbrella, which has long since lost its function, but he still takes it with him as a crutch when he goes out." I am like Bernard Shaw's old umbrella. " Later, Wang slowed down the frequency of writing letters to Sanmao, and the female writer wrote a letter to blame: "You are so cruel that I lost my crutch!" "

Later, this relationship changed. The old singer still failed to understand Sanmao's loneliness, sadness and romance, and introduced her to the media, which became the "material" to enrich his feature film and attracted a "dear John letter". But even so, he didn't want to believe it, thinking that Sanmao was angry with himself, so he wrote to ask for Mr. O 'Shearer's photo.

Don't say it's the king of old songs Even if I am an irrelevant reader, if I didn't see him in front of Sanlitun Cafe, I would really think that Mr. O 'Shea with roller skates around his neck was just a lover made up by a female writer.

However, this gentleman's name is Rick O 'Shea, not "O 'Shea". He is an American, not an Englishman ... San Mao deliberately provided false information in his letter, I'm afraid he didn't want Wang to have a trace.

Rick is a legend. When he was young, he set out from his hometown Detroit and traveled to Europe and Canada. 1979 came to China and worked as a DJ in Taiwan Province province, Hongkong and Shanghai. Now he has settled in Beijing.

198 1 year, Rick, a DJ in Hong Kong, took advantage of an opportunity to go to Taipei and met Sanmao through friends. Walking in Taipei night market, the air is filled with the smell of roasted corn and roasted quail. Rick didn't know that this female writer, who is ten years older than him, has a high reputation in the Chinese world. Sanmao's works are all in Chinese, but Rick doesn't know Chinese.

Rick said that at first, he was jealous of Sanmao's readers and could judge her works, but he only knew that she was a woman, that's all.

"I don't know who she is or why she is famous," he said. "But it made me put aside the disguise of words and realize a real Sanmao ... presumably this is also her wish."

"You personally accept me."

Some people say that writers are insane and behave like 16-month-old babies.

Shortly after meeting Rick, Sanmao traveled to South America sponsored by United Daily News, accompanied by her friend Rick, an American photographer.

During his stay in South America, American photographers wrote several letters to Rick, saying that 1982 was the year of the dog in China, and it felt like a dog with Sanmao.

He also said that Sanmao's personality is very strong, but her body is very weak, which puts a lot of pressure on herself and others ... She is smart, sensitive and competitive, like a strict teacher, but she always doesn't want to leave the classroom ... He doesn't know if he and Sanmao will shake hands, kiss each other's faces and smile at each other after six months of travel.

After returning from South America, the photographer was seriously ill and took a break before coming to Hong Kong to see Rick. He said Sanmao suggested that he grow a beard. It feels like she wants to turn him into her dead husband Jose. Later, I felt more and more like Jose and learned Spanish.

If Jose, a Spaniard who built a love nest with San Mao in the Sahara desert, were still alive, this woman writer would still be a happy little woman, writing, reading, cooking, collecting strange gadgets and camping with friends every day. ...

Perhaps, when he was with Jose, Sanmao was also sensitive, fragile and lonely, but this sensitivity, fragility and loneliness were surrounded by deep happiness, or life was too rich and full to show pain. When Jose's death took away happiness, Sanmao was "exposed", just like the low tide of the sea exposed the rocks.

After the trip to South America, the American photographer alienated Sanmao, but Rick established contact with her and kept their friendship for ten years. Rick and Sanmao drink tea, chat, walk and visit antique shops together. They like to hang out in the street together and pay attention to the lives of ordinary people. Rick will reach out and hug her when she remembers the past and cry bitterly, and will tell her seriously that if she doesn't want to die early, she has to quit smoking!

"What kind of woman is Sanmao?" I asked Rick.

"I think it's easy to communicate with her. She is smart, sensitive, imaginative, strong, firm, kind, caring, independent, open-minded, down-to-earth, humble, mysterious and talented ... in short, very special! "

In San Mao's eyes, Rick is also a very special existence. She said to Rick, "It's very comfortable to be with you. Many people can't give me this feeling. Too many people expect me to be a famous writer and celebrity, but you personally accept me. We get along as two real people, not two roles. "

"From friends to lovers, we have escaped for many years."

Every time I miss you, a grain of sand falls from the sky, and the Sahara has been formed since then.

Every time I miss you, a drop of water falls from the sky, thus forming the Pacific Ocean.

……

Sanmao gradually found herself more and more inseparable from Rick. 1987, she said to Rick, "When we haven't met for a while, I will miss you very much, which makes me very nervous and uncomfortable." Rick replied, "Call me when you are lonely. Make a phone call and I will be by your side. "

1990, San Mao created the only movie script in her life, Rolling the World of mortals. 165438+ 10 In October, she came to Hong Kong to attend the film premiere and called Rick to say that she wanted to see him very much.

They came to Queen's Pier and took the Star Ferry. Through the port, a total of * * * but ten minutes, rick felt and SAN MAO has left the past, to the future. He stroked her long hair, hugged and kissed, and the relationship between them finally broke through friendship.

Rick told me that this was the last time he saw San Mao in his life. This farewell took place at the right time and place. She came to Hong Kong to attend the film premiere, and he just ended an eight-year relationship.

"San Mao and I are friends for ten years. We never thought that our lives would intersect. The transition from a friend to a lover is sudden and dramatic. We know this is the beginning of deeper communication, and we have been avoiding it for many years, "he said.

After San Mao returned to Taiwan Province Province, he often talked to Rick on the phone. They have endless words. They plan to travel to the mainland together and talk about getting married ... 199 1 Chinese New Year. Rick called Sanmao to wish her a happy New Year, but no one answered. The next day, he called again, but no one answered. At that time, he was not very worried, thinking that she would call back soon.

104, a message from TVB reached Rick's ear. "Today, San Mao, a famous writer in Taiwan Province Province, was found dead in a hospital in Taipei, apparently committing suicide ..."

Rick was shocked and collapsed, and then he fell into pain and confusion ... He knew that all his plans and dreams with Sanmao had disappeared. ...

Until today, San Mao's death is still a mystery. Some people say that she committed suicide because she missed Jose too much, some people say that she is afraid of cancer, and others say that she failed to win the Golden Horse Award for Best Screenplay. ...

I asked Rick the same question.

"Just a month ago, she said she wanted to be with you. Why do you think she committed suicide? "

"We never know what the reason is. I'm afraid she thinks it's time to do it. The last person the suicide contacted should be her relatives, but I didn't get any information, "he said. "

Twenty years later, Rick came to Chinese mainland as agreed with Sanmao, and settled in Beijing, but he still can't speak Chinese. He sometimes buys a Chinese book that he can't understand at the bookstall because it has a picture of Sanmao on it.

Rick said that he often recalled the last meeting with San Mao. "She is my inspiration and encourages me to understand the world with creative thinking. She knows my heart and encourages me to believe in myself. "

In 20 1 1 year, Rick published an autobiography entitled "Echo of San Mao", in which a chapter tells a little-known love story between him and a female writer. He even created a play of the same name, hoping that one day, it can be made into a film by a great director like Ang Lee.

"I think she might want me to tell our story in some way, tell her last legend, write it, or make a movie," Rick said. "She wants others to know that in those years when she lost Jose, she was not in pain, and she has returned to normal. She is responsible for her own life, and so should each of us. "