For girlfriends, mourn their misfortune and anger their indisputable.

The girlfriend I'm going to write about now is the most important, sincere, intimate and the only one with a very important position in my life. It is important that when she is in financial trouble, I will call her directly, and I will call her Alipay 23 thousand. I gave 3 thousand red envelopes for her birthday. My financial situation is much better than hers, but the money is not small for me to stand on my own feet in Shenzhen.

However, for such a close friend of mine, I can't help but want to spit out her behavior recently. Before I spit, let me talk about her advantages.

1. I am very good at and familiar with dressing, skin care and beauty, manicure and eyelash, which are very women's businesses. I am full of enthusiasm to talk about the "beautiful face". This is complementary to my straight female personality. She will help me choose a mask and buy skin care products.

2. For my life, work, emotional experience, family of origin, etc., * * * is so strong that I think it is very useful and decompression to confide in her. When I was at the bottom of my life, she never left me. When she saw that my predecessors were unkind to me, her heart ached and she taught me how to love myself.

3. She has her own set of thoughts on dealing with love relationship and ordinary interpersonal relationship. In these respects, she has influenced me a lot. Let me be stronger and stronger on the road of feeling and loving myself.

well, now I'm going to pour out my negative energy. Recently, I've been "mourning her misfortune and angering her." Unexpectedly, one day, I actually used this famous saying of Lu Xun on her.

There is a specific background for wanting to vomit her now.

That is, in 219, a few months before marriage, her husband suddenly got into debt of 8, yuan. In the first year of marriage, I lived on a credit card in order not to worry about her financial problems. As a result, the debt has increased. To make matters worse, the epidemic in 22 caused her husband's monthly income of 1,-2, to drop sharply. Economic problems are getting worse. It was in the second half of 22 that my best friend got to know the cruelty of the present situation little by little, because the creditors actually contacted my best friend on the glory of the king and told her that her husband couldn't pay back the money.

Then, when her husband was heavily in debt, she deeply felt that it was meaningless to work. A month's work was only a few thousand dollars, but the interest and principal that needed to be repaid in installments were all in the unit of "ten thousand". This is a vicious circle. More and more in debt, the more I feel that working is useless, but I can't find a way to make money without working. My best friend herself used to be the anchor of Taobao JD.COM's favorite shopping platform in a clothing company, selling clothes. After working for half a year, I feel that there is no future, my salary is low, I can't sell it without traffic, and I want to resign. Finally resigned. Both of them lost their income.

Then a short-term project appeared. My boyfriend and I took them and taught them from scratch. Later, her husband was quite successful in this project and made 9% of the power output. This project lasted for 5 months, and basically everyone earned 3,-5, yuan per month. During this time, their relationship between husband and wife has eased a lot.

However, the disadvantage of this project is that it lasts for a short time, so I don't know when it will be over immediately, so let them be psychologically prepared to accept and plan a work plan after the project is over. During the project, my best friend was admitted to the hospital because of illness, and it was really raining all night, and she was admitted to the hospital twice a month. During that time, the expenses were very high. She just signed up for an HPV vaccine (which cost thousands of dollars), and then in marriage, she had to bear the daily expenses of her husband's family and her family. Because I felt bad for her, I gave her Alipay 5, yuan, so that she could feel at ease and stop worrying so much about life.

then, at the beginning of June, the project will be finished. It means that the couple will start to face the state of no job and no income again. Then my best friend immediately fell into deep anxiety and quarreled with her husband several times. This is what I expected. Therefore, when I started in March and the project was progressing well, I took a lot of vaccinations and psychological construction with my girlfriend, so that the couple could think about what option they could have for working and making money after the project was over. Natural eggs. It happened as promised. The anxiety, too.

so far, I haven't wanted to spit out my best friend, but I have provided her with specific methodology and encouraged her to do it. First of all, for her husband, who said he didn't want to go to work, I encouraged him to develop his old business and mobile phone business. However, he doesn't want to do it either. I have also tried to look at some positions that may be suitable for her husband from platforms such as BOSS's direct employment, and I have also sent him links to introduce some positions. However, at present, her husband still has no job and no income. In addition, for my best friend, I talked with her deeply about what she can do to make a living if she doesn't want to go to work. Finally, it is discussed that there are two ways to go. 1. She keeps fit and strengthens her body, while taking the qualification certificate of fitness instructor. 2. Apprentice in the nail and eyelash shop, learn the technology and also learn the operation of the shop.

As for the coach's certificate, I set her up and asked the coach in my current fitness studio. At the same time, I also asked a new girl who had already passed the coach's certificate. I sorted out the process and sent it to my best friend. It's very simple. Go to an institution that is qualified to train fitness instructors, take classes and take exams according to regulations, and conduct textual research. She can just do it. There is nothing to wait for.

Open a shop for manicure and eyelashes. What I can help her is to give her money to invest in him to open a shop after she finishes her studies. I don't know anything about other technical problems about how to do manicure and eyelash, because I am a straight girl, I can't help her much. She loves to dress up herself, so she does better than me in how to find a manicure and eyelash shop as an apprentice.

ok, the point I want to vomit begins.

when she has sorted out what she wants to do in the future, she doesn't start to work hard. I see her life every day like this: I will spend the next two days with my family. Because I haven't taken my family out to play for a long time, my mother and my sister's two children have started their summer holidays, so I want to accompany them to play. Then, today, my sister and I went to a friend who runs a restaurant in Shunde for dinner. We ate until two or three in the morning. When everyone drank wine, we stayed awake alone and drove everyone home. Then, tomorrow, I will accompany my nephew and niece to see the movie "Dr. China" and tell me that this movie is so uncomfortable that I cried from beginning to end. The day after tomorrow, I'm going to make an appointment with a thyroid doctor to analyze the results of filming, and I'll treat you if I'm sick. Today, I met my friends for dinner again, because I haven't seen them for a long time.

Seeing her recent life, I feel silently: There are some people who have no career, can't make money, and their lives have not improved. There is a real reason. They always have a variety of things to do in life, but they can't work hard to achieve their goals (taking the coach's license and opening a nail salon), and they don't have the time to work hard.

Besides, after that project, I arranged a very free job for him, which was not bound by anyone's time. It's the more work and more pay type. Let's take it as Wechat business. I provide products to her. Teach her how to make materials, how to manage the group, and so on. His job is to constantly send friends and develop customers. However, I didn't see her working hard for this matter either. She just told me, "I'm devastated. I didn't get a single order." My inner monologue is really hehe. I have taught her hand in hand, but she gave up immediately when she encountered a little difficulty and didn't want to work hard at all. Such a person is doomed to make no money. Even winning the lottery and getting rich overnight may be zero. Because she didn't even try to buy a 2-yuan lottery ticket, how can she win the prize? ! It's a ghost to make money! ! ! !

and when I look at myself, I really don't want to brag about how good I am. My own conditions are much better than those of the couple. I have a high degree of education, various skills, many work experiences and a deposit in my hand (they also lent me 1, yuan to pay off my debts). Like them, I find it boring to work and get a dead salary. However, while I am anxious about my career and making money, I am constantly trying all kinds of possibilities to make money, inquiring about all kinds of businesses with different people, and digging up business channels and information.

throughout July, I tried to go to Amazon service company to learn new business and want to do sales. It took others a month or two to learn the business knowledge, and it took me three days to basically understand it. Later, I didn't do it because I didn't negotiate the commission with the female boss. Then I went to learn and understand an intelligent anti-collision system for cars, and wanted to sell this product in Shenzhen as an agent. At present, the difficulty coefficient of this business is extremely high, but I haven't completely given up and am still working hard. In addition, I learned about the export of e-cigarettes from my friends, so let me look for American resources. I also inquired in many ways, chatted with people who do foreign trade, searched for information on the Internet, and went to Huaqiang North for field research. I haven't done the last two things very well, and I haven't improved yet, but I'm at least trying. I am working hard for my goal every day. Hard work does not necessarily pay off. However, if you don't work hard, you will definitely not have a good result.

Look at myself, day by day, I am also very tired. Really, no one's money is blown by the wind. Many people have a hard time making money. Look at this couple who are still deeply in debt and can't escape. What substantial efforts have they made?

another important point is that I have tried to persuade my best friend. Before she got married, her mother took care of her daily life, earned money to support herself, and gave a few hundred yuan a month for household use. After marriage, her husband took care of her daily life, washing, cooking, doing housework, pouring tea and handing water, all for her. As for herself, she used to make money at work as a contribution to the economy. Now, I have no job, I can't contribute anything, and I still do nothing at home. There will be a very objective problem here, that is, if daily chores always occupy her husband's time, then he won't have much time to fight for his career and make money. Her husband's career is even more difficult. Therefore, it is really important for a man with a good career to have a wife at home. The details of her daily life depend on her husband to take care of it, and at the same time, this small family needs her husband to earn money to support her family, so her husband really can't do it well. She is counting on her husband for everything. Although she said she had a plan to make money, she didn't put it into action at all. I can't make money myself, and my husband is also delayed by her, which is double anxiety.

I will think of this matter. Woman, it's a pleasure to have someone to take care of you all your life. But most of the time, we don't have which is most of the women (I believe, need to rely on self-dependence), so we have to rely on ourselves. I woke up my best friend. Is the current dilemma of life to make her realize that she can't rely on her husband for everything, and she has to stand on her own two feet? You depend on others for everything, economy and daily life. Once others have limited ability and are not 1% reliable, yours will be in an extremely passive state as it is now. I have no money in my hand, and I can't make money by my husband. I have no choice but to be tortured by fate.

I also tried to analyze their current environment.

1. They both have average work skills and are not confident about finding a job. Background ability, ability to match the job in the world, and salary are basically low. Only sales jobs, which are not very academic and work experience, pay attention to ability and get commission, have more room than fixed wages. However, my best friend is not suitable for and doesn't want to do sales. Her husband used to do it, and now he doesn't really want to do it.

2. They all live in the countryside of Guangzhou. Such a big environment has led to the fact that people around them are greedy for comfort. This seems to be the characteristic of most local people in Guangzhou. With a roof over your head and a mouthful of food, you have no intention and motivation to fight hard at all. Eating and drinking with the people in the village every day is poor and happy, and there is no thought of wanting to struggle at all. Boil frogs in warm water.

3. They can't leave their original homes and go to other cities to work hard, just like mainlanders (in the eyes of Cantonese, all parts of the country are mainlanders and northerners except locals) who go out to make a living and break into the world. Before they have any plans to make money, they don't have the courage to rent a house in another city and make a living. They also feel that this is of little significance. To make matters worse, now living with my parents in the village, without paying rent, and going out to work hard to rent a house is another aggravating expense.

in view of the above situation and reasons, it is really difficult for them to solve the current debt problem. After I have these thoughts recently, I don't want to give money to my best friend for some time to come. If both of them don't work hard, then wait until the end of their tether and let the cruel life push out their potential. Really, saving the poor is not saving the poor. I deeply realized it again.