If I can't adapt to the environment, I'm sorry, I will choose to leave.

Q: "What should we do when we can't change the environment?"

A: "Change yourself!"

I wonder how many friends will give such an answer when they see this question.

Once, I believed in such an answer and the logic behind it.

But now I have a new understanding.

Of course, there is nothing wrong with this logic, even socially recognized values.

It has positive energy and promotes positive values. It's not chicken soup at all, and it's feasible Many people grew up following this logic.

However, it is not the only answer, or even a good answer.

Life is short and personality is precious. In this world, everyone has his own pride. It can even be said that everyone's life is a stand-alone game of their own, which simply records the process of getting along with the world (good or bad). From this point of view, when we change ourselves because our personality can't adapt to the environment, it is essentially a compromise, a process of watching ourselves be corroded and assimilated by the environment.

We need to realize that the world is very big, and even for us, China is also very big. In 34 provinces and 6,665,438+0 cities, the living area of our whole life may be less than 0. 1%. When we are unable to adapt to the current environment and struggle, we should choose to go out of the world in front of us and look for another world from the world, instead of changing in pain.

Have you ever had such an experience in your life?

● I am eager to realize my inner thoughts, but I am frequently disheartened by "people who think their hearts are very important" and finally think it is "impossible";

● I am very interested in something, but my friends and family don't care, and eventually I gradually forget it;

● Predict that an industry will have a bright future, but there is no intersection with its environment, and finally it will go away.

We always emphasize learning to change in pain, but ignore that the power of environment is often more important than "self-persistence".

The Art of Communication once mentioned a concept:

Smart people don't pin all their hopes on their own efforts. They understand that time, place and people are indispensable. Gold always shines, but in the dark, even 24K pure gold is like briquettes, so they pay more attention to the help of the environment, which is the guarantee of success and more respect for their own efforts.

When we try to enter a new field, a new environment will greatly increase our chances of success.

I found an interesting phenomenon when I got along with my friends:

When a person has many friends who like reading, he will find it not difficult to read a big book, and he will like to go to the bookstore.

● When a person knows many photographers, he will feel that photographic composition is not as difficult as he thought, and he will be willing to share his photographic works;

When a person knows many music lovers, he will feel that it is not impossible to correct the lack of sense of sound, and he is willing to sing in public.

There are always a few people who dare to stand on the opposite side of the public and stick to their opinions. For the vast majority of people, these two characteristics are protective colors to avoid being excessively concerned and maintain the stability of the status quo.

Under this nature, when our ideas are not recognized by the environment, instead of forcing ourselves to bear the differences and strive to move forward when everyone is "not optimistic", it is better to change the environment and be happy and grow crazy with like-minded friends for the same goal.

So, if you want to do something you have never tried before, the best way is to find people who are doing it and make friends with them. You will find that the plan you thought impossible has become horribly feasible.

Birds of a feather flock together. Different environments mean different groups of people, and more importantly, they represent completely different ways of thinking. Because of the different angles of extracting and analyzing information, many times, different environments will have completely different views on the same thing.

It is precisely for this reason that when we want to be recognized in an environment, but we have repeatedly hit a wall, or even been targeted, we must not underestimate ourselves and feel inferior and discouraged. In a different environment, maybe we will become opinion leaders, which is of great significance in the secondary group.

We can find that the vast majority of people who like the second element always have different ways of thinking in formal occasions such as companies and schools, and they are often considered to be unable to share the same frequency. Some severely addicted people may even be considered as "mental disorders", but when they participate in comic-con and COS community activities, the whole person will bloom enthusiastically, and both actions and words will be very independent, as if they were a different person.

Therefore, the failure experience in school or social occasions in the past does not mean that there is something wrong with our personal character, let alone blame IQ and EQ casually.

Personality makes us shine differently, so when you are not accepted by the environment, or the existing environment can't meet your growth, please protect it and find a suitable environment to make you happy on the road of chasing your dreams.

I have heard such a sentence:

For the same thing, there is an amazing gap between the angle and depth of thinking of people with different thinking levels. More importantly, the quality of information you get from other people's feedback is also very different.

When you decide to reduce your weight from 160 kg to 120 kg, your friends around you will only tell you, "Shut up and move more, persistence is victory", but when you join a weight-loss group or walk into a gym, everyone will tell you that the span of 40 kg cannot be reduced overnight, and you need to make a clearer plan and split the big goals.

More constructive opinions are the greatest gift given by an excellent environment, which will help us get more long-term positive feedback.

When we want to achieve a goal, it is always the stupidest way to build a car behind closed doors. From the original environment, thinking out and integrating into a group with the same goal, we can help each other, and we have grown unimaginable by staying in the inherent thinking.

There are three steps to putting an elephant in the refrigerator. Open the refrigerator, put the elephant in, and then close the refrigerator.

There are also three steps to joining a new environment:

1 & gt； Can bravely leave the existing environment.

In the face of unaccustomed environment, many times we choose to compromise, not because we are unable to change and have no choice, but because when we choose to compromise, it means comfort, and if we don't compromise, we must face environmental resistance (possibly relatives, superiors, personality and many other factors).

When we can't see that the future will really get better, we are often unwilling to deny the existing achievements and would rather stay put.

But whether lazy or nostalgic, if we make such a choice, we will always wander in a circle and grow up slowly. A year later, we will even see what we are like in 20 years.

Choice determines life. When you choose to break through yourself, you need to have the courage to leave when the current environment is not suitable for us. Sometimes the next environment may be bad, but in the process, you understand what is really suitable for you.

2> Make friends with people with the same goals.

I once met a girl in a book club. She is knowledgeable and elegant. She talks to people in an extraordinary way. I thought it was my family. I've been like this since I was a child, but after I met her at the book club, I found that it wasn't what I thought.

There was once a girl who was a shy girl who loved reading. She usually stays in the library when she has no classes, but for this reason, she is excluded from the dormitory.

Facing the cynicism of her roommate who plays mobile phone in bed after class every day, she feels very troubled, because for her who is not good at communicating with others, the dormitory is almost her whole circle of friends, and even she thought about not going to the library at all, just in the dormitory.

Until one time in the library, she and another girl picked up the same book "The Course of Beauty". The impulse to find organization made her forget her timidity. A sentence "You like this book, too" opened their mouths. Through this girl, she came into contact with the reading club, made a group of new friends who like reading, and became her now.

"Always compete with your peers and don't argue with fools." The era of Internet has arrived. No matter what field you want to enter, literature, courses and e-book learning resources will never be lacking. You can always find peers through forums, groups and friends. When one's state is incompatible with the environment, one is not necessarily wrong, but perhaps the environment is wrong.

3> Choose the right way to get along.

Different environments have different ways to get along with each other, and the new environment also has his temper, so learn to adapt.

Seeing some friends here may make you laugh. You said that changing nature was a compromise. Isn't this adaptation a compromise?

In fact, there is a big difference. We must change ourselves in an unfamiliar environment. Circumstances forced us to make compromises. I need to overcome my personality and do things I don't like. Adapting in an environment with a sense of belonging means that we want to adapt from the heart, give back the goodwill based on the environment with our own goodwill, and hope that people around us will get better together.

To put it bluntly, this matter is the same as falling in love. What you do with people you don't like will be boring. When you get along badly, you will think, "Why should I change?" But with the person you like, everything you do feels meaningful, and you will be willing to change for each other.

I'm Mr. Panda. I hope you, who are very unhappy in the present environment, can go out and break into a new world.

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