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Everything about Zhou Lili.

Author: Those helpless nights come from: staring and images.

Green, blue, gray, white, black ......

My eyes are confused, entangled by color and dazzled by darkness. Shunji Iwai spent more than two hours watching movies to stop me from sleeping, so I kept my eyes wide open until 6 am.

After 6 o'clock, it was already dawn, but there was no sun.

It's all gray.

( 1)

"She was born at 22: 50 on February 8th, 1980.

That day happened to be the day John Lennon was killed.

But for me, this accident is meaningless.

What matters to me is the day when she was born.

Her name is Zhou Lili.

Genius

According to these, the universe is the embodiment of the ether. "

-Writer Filja "

1980。 12。 08, the day she was born, 343 days later than me.

1979。 12。 30, the day I was born, that day, it didn't mean anything, just that I existed as a substance, as a child and as a person.

I am grateful for this existence, and I hate this existence.

Just as I once missed my youth, I once wanted to forget my youth.

In fact, when I ran away, I still felt a little like crying, but I just couldn't find that feeling.

Green wheat field, tilted lens, flying flag, white boy standing in the sun.

Zhou Lili's music keeps ringing.

Such a beautiful lens gives me a feeling of confusion, not visually, but internally. My eyes are bright, but my heart is lonely and captured by this scene.

blink

incision

There are big black screen subtitles and keyboard strokes.

At first, I didn't like this form very much, which made people dizzy, tired and impatient.

I said that Yan Junsheng actually began to like to continue his movies in such a boring way.

The second time I watched it, I got used to it. I'm used to feeling the taste of those words from monotonous tapping and black.

So I remembered that when I was a sophomore, I went to the suburbs to take pictures. This is also spring and green wheat fields. I stood on the ridge in a red T-shirt, drizzling and surrounded by mountains. The scene makes people feel blank, simple and blank. It's just that the photos never show it.

Two years later, I lost all the photos and negatives I took at school, and there was nothing left.

Miss.

(2)

"My pain needs etheric treatment."

"There are important things for me, those friends, relatives and lovers, but these will bring a lot of harm, and everyone is enduring it."

To live, we must live, for these important relatives, friends and lovers.

Death from youth may reject the anxiety of growth, but can those souls who die from youth fly to the sky? For a moment, I actually thought of Made in Hong Kong and those children who died young.

Yes, children, children, so many sick children are under the gloomy sky.

The computer speaker plays "Vaccinium myrtillus is never old" over and over again.

"I hope you will never get old, always be young, I hope you will always be young ..." But the phone I just answered was from the office asking about the dubbing of the program, so I was a little tired and sad. I can't help myself.

Sometimes, I hate Shunji Iwai. He always shows extreme cruelty with extremely beautiful pictures. Like a sleepwalker, like a bloody epiphany running on the green grass, like the crack of cervical vertebrae in soft music.

Lily Zhou's music is beautiful, floating in the endless wheat field.

The wheat has grown taller, but the teenagers in the wheat field are still lonely. He looked around, his eyes confused. Communication is still difficult, Lian Jian Hoshino, standing in the same wheat field at different times, separated by time and mind.

In vain, inaccessible. Between each other, what else? Ether?

"I'm Gulu, I'm Duan Liyang, Liz, Asi, Minako, imprisoned, read, Lord, Igasmi, Kalou, S, free bird ..."

So many names, so many symbols, hiding behind the screen, in a dark and safe place, we can't see each other's expressions, those stiff, rigid, polite and polite expressions, only the soft heart is talking. In a place like this, everyone can relax without worrying about whether the sunshine outside will hurt their eyes.

3 minutes and 48 seconds of black field subtitles, sentence by sentence, name by name, long and tired, this is just the beginning. At first, on the road, in the wheat field, Lian Jian's life appeared on the screen. In the wheat field, he didn't know whether it was tears or sweat, so he couldn't see clearly. All he knows is that his eyelashes are so long that people want to touch them. I don't know, is he also eager to have a pair of hands to give his eyes tenderness, not the wind?

The reality is that it is only Zhou Lili's music that touches him, sounding affectionately and far away under the sky.

(3)

In the subway, three children are stealing an old man's bag. They are very calm and not anxious at all. In the field, they rummaged, searched and abandoned. The bag thrown on the ground is dirty and covered with dirt, and its mission ends here. In the firelight, three childish faces make people speechless.

I think of the teenage Xinjiang boys I often meet on my way to work. One of them had the same expression when he was found pulling out my schoolbag that day, indifferent, and then walked away quickly.

Passers-by hurried by without saying a word. On the other side, the blue glass of the tall digital building shows large clouds, walking slowly. I followed him and left.

Another life, no right to comment.

A video store. Covered with orange. But not warm. The children snatched the CD and ran away when they heard the alarm. The poor shop assistant chased them, but in the end they were doomed to fail.

Shake in the running, shake the lens, the color changes constantly, and start to glare. Dizziness appears at such a speed. If you close your eyes, you may feel the pleasure of anesthesia. This confused youth. This chaotic world, this chaotic child. The heavy body can't fly in the end, only music, plundered music, keeps a purity.

Lotus saw the blue poster of Lily Week coming, so we saw it. On the edge of the vast green wheat field, staggered wires, quiet bicycles and large posters. The music played, setting off this still, exquisite and beautiful picture. Behind this beauty, there is an endless sinking and dirty world, a world that no one understands.

In this way, Shunji Iwai infiltrated his pessimism into the back of the camera, bit by bit, making you feel the pain of being cruelly shattered while enjoying your vision.

There is social news in the barber shop, telling the current situation of juvenile delinquency. Adults watching TV shake their heads and sigh while congratulating their children on their cleverness. In fact, adults don't know anything about children, except material care. In the dark red room, my mother didn't know that Lian Jian had gone out to communicate, which was as insurmountable as a gap.

I think of some friends. They hardly talk at home except when eating. They shut themselves in a small room every day, playing games, listening to songs, playing the piano, watching movies, taking girls home for the night, and leaving quietly the next day, leaving their families completely at a loss.

A ridiculous and pathetic family.

Interesting time.

Finally, on the Internet, the green cat appeared and began to communicate with Lian Jian. There is no meeting, only words, and I also like this way, so that I can hardly deal with real people. Sitting in the office for half a day, you can say no more than 10, bury yourself in a book and then go home. Slight autistic tendency. My friend said that about me.

I like the photo below. Under the green light, three children are riding bicycles. On the road, a strange atmosphere appeared and spread, but it was hard to describe. I just think the lens with filter makes summer night feel cruel.

In the picture, the train crosses the field at night, and the lights show out of the window, like a bright dragon. And every time I take the train at night, I always like to look at the fields on both sides. There is almost no light, and my eyes feel comfortable in this darkness, without the paleness of the day. Only when you pass through the city will you be stung by the neon lights in the distance, and after a few minutes, you will fall into darkness again.

At this time, I will quietly think about many things, and many feelings will erupt at this time, such as youth, such as years, such as love, such as memories, such as forgetting ... Finally, I will fall asleep before dawn.

When I woke up, everything was as usual.

(4)

Breathe is still in the orange video store, but Zhou Lili's Breathe was taken away. Naturally, he took his own things, Lily Week, which was his own.

Subtitles continue, people on the Internet continue, Lily Week continues, and Ether continues. I caught the lotus again and waited for the teacher to take him back. On the tilted train, the teacher asked Lian Jian for a CD. She heard Zhou Lili's voice, but she didn't understand, didn't understand the music, and didn't understand why she wanted to listen to it. She really wants to understand, but she doesn't.

School. The sound of the piano was blurred as white fog across the room. Lian Jian sat alone in the yellow corridor and walked past the smiling schoolgirl.

The mother invited by the teacher learned everything, and the pride of saying "My Lian Jian is obedient" disappeared without a trace. She ran after Lian Jian angrily. The clumsy body with a big belly is slightly unbearable.

The lens of the office replaced the lens of the music classroom. The girl who plays the piano has flexible fingers and quiet expression, which makes people feel much more peaceful. And over there, the teacher said, we don't know what they are thinking. Indeed, it is impossible to know, and none of them understand. They are adults, not children.

The car passed through the wheat field and my mother came down. She was dressed in red and stood under the red stop sign. The wheat field alienated her, so Lian Jian took her home by bike. She is her mother.

My heart is beating, thinking about Xiao Si who is jumping, and a child who can't find a pillar at home, whether from his father or his sister. Lian Jian's emotional outlet is listening to Zhou Lili in the field, while Xiao Si hides in a bed like a narrow closet to keep a diary and meditate. How deep and closed the teenager's heart is, I sigh and then doubt myself.

Lian Jian's room is green and dark, which makes people feel very cold. In the green chill, I saw you, and you saw me ... confusing. Such a melody is always like a tiny thorn, which stings people's hearts again and again. That feeling is as painful as hitting it with a heavy hammer.

I like to type something in front of the computer in the middle of the night and then listen to some songs, which often makes me extremely depressed. I have never understood why I always give myself a chance to comfort myself, but it adds a heavy weight.

The phone rang and the camera shook. Even going out is accompanied by a green light, but this time he is the only one.

Then, under the dazzling yellow light, children's atrocities were staged, and Lian Jian was beaten and punished.

And Hoshino looked on coldly with a cruel smile. They used to be friends, but at this time, the word friend seems humble and worthless.

Lily Zhou's CD was roughly cut in two, and the music came to an abrupt end. There is no way out. No, it can only continue to be cruel.

The camera is still shaking. In the dark corner, Lian saw someone being forced to masturbate. He was silent and endured such humiliation. Until he fell, he remained silent and said nothing. When the song stops, there is only destruction. When the song stops, there is no need for words.

(5)

The camera flashed back. The new student spoke on behalf of Hoshino.

"We freshmen are full of hope from today ..."

That's 1999, 13-year-old children are still young, weak, kind, quiet, very good, really good. I won't argue with others, I will be patient, even the girl who has a crush on me will avoid talking about it.

At the sports meeting, in the stands, Lian Jian quietly looked at the piano girl Kuno beside him.

On the way, I looked back at the girl I like in the rain, a little uneasy and shy.

At that time, Hoshino and Lian Jian were good friends of the Kendo Club. We can chat, fall asleep and talk about the beautiful mother in Hoshino at night.

This is the most tender part of the film, but only this part. Shunji Iwai stingy only gave the audience less than 10 minutes of warmth, and then continued to tell the sharp youth despair with his gorgeous pictures.

Nothing can't be changed. Time and growth are the most irresistible force for change. Sometimes, many changes are for no reason, that's all. Just like when I was 13 years old, compared with now, the old class is already irreparable, but occasionally I will see such a bright and unscrupulous smile and such clear and transparent eyes in the photos of my hours.

I hate this change, but there is nothing I can do. The fear of being thrown into the sea of people dispersed bit by bit, like a cloud, until I gradually got used to it and became numb.

During the trip to Okinawa, the beauty of life and death is perfectly combined here.

Blue sea, blue sky and green island.

Green water, white boats, gorgeous fireworks, burning bonfires and soaring waves have a simple happiness.

In fact, what every child wants is very simple, but the world of adults always makes them complicated. It's always too difficult to stay away unless you stay away.

In Okinawa, it is said that people have seven souls.

But why, human life is still so fragile.

At the seaside at night, Hoshino, who turned on the flashlight, was stabbed by tuna and lost his first soul.

Nature is like this, with a serene side and a scary side. Between them, there is a place where life and death are separated.

The sunlight hitting the water is not clear, but extremely chaotic. At this moment, the lens is covered with water droplets, and there is an unreal sense of isolation.

Hoshino drowned. Someone told him that you don't have two souls, only five.

Seven MINUS two equals five, and the distance between five and zero is really close.

Death was simple. The man they met on Xingye Road was hit by a car and lay on the ground, surrounded by a pool of blood. After the hectic rescue, everyone was silent and had nothing to say.

/kloc-when I was 0/4 years old, a girl in my class committed suicide, and my roommate's life instantly turned into a soul, which made me realize the impending death for the first time.

And myself, I'm afraid of death.

(6)

1999 summer.

Hoshino, who came back from the summer vacation, is completely different. In the face of this boy who usually bullies himself, the quiet star field suddenly broke out.

A chair seems easy to hit people, but it is the beginning of a very heavy change.

In the purple mud pond, the boy was forced to swim naked, raised his head and begged for mercy. He is muddy all over, and purple medicine generally makes me sick. He rolled to the shore like a dog and was kicked away by Hoshino, giving a ferocious laugh.

Has this situation changed?

This feeling is very sad. I don't know why or for whom. Thunder roared outside the window, and it was sultry. I hope there will be a heavy rain to wash this sad world.

In 2000, 14 years old, the gray age.

Wheat field, then look at the wheat field ...

On the road in the field, Shiori appeared. She 14 years old, with a childish appearance and a mature body, was killed by a strange man kisses and hugs. ...

Her heart should be bitter. What should she think after receiving the money from that man? Her body got the money.

She can't escape, Hoshino has her picture ... She is manipulated like a trapped fish, and can only be played in the palm of her hand, without water, waiting for a suffocating day.

How happy it is to live a life without being manipulated and arranged. We can smile on the road, in the fields and in all beautiful places, instead of just wandering in the music, and get short-term comfort from Zhou Lili's music.

"You say very noble? What about Hoshino? " Shiori suddenly asked.

Lotus was speechless. He couldn't say that his task was to send Shiori home. His heart is equally bitter.

Shiori threw the money in Lian Jian's face. At this time, the music sounded, with a depressing taste.

Shiori pushes Lian Jian, and her pain has no outlet. She is just a poor and beautiful puppet, unable to struggle inside. You can only endure and obey until you run out of energy in your life.

Lian Jian just dodged silently. He and Zhou Lili. What about Shiori? What does she have?

Shiori crushed the paper money scattered on the ground, which was a kind of trampling full of disgust. Of course, she hates it, but she can't do anything except burst into her own pain for these inanimate things.

Lian Jian next to me is still watching silently. There is burning smoke in the distant sky. Who is it, begging God?

God is sleeping, and he can't see the ugliness of this world. He is getting old.

Shiori jumped into the water, crying and walking, tears streaming down her face. Between heaven and earth, so boundless.

A moment's outbreak will be followed by long-term patience. Shiori's white clothes and socks are covered with mud. She washed with cold water and then calmed down. However, cold water can wash away the stains on the body, but it can't wash away the wounds on the heart.

Lotus see said, but now, that kind of ether split.

(7)

Piano, girl, room with misty lights.

The wheat field has turned yellow-green, and the lotus stands upright. Lily Zhou's music is as addictive as opium, and everything remains the same, including the camera that always captures the picture in the wheat field. It's just that time has slipped away.

Goodbye to the scene, jump and cut. In this time gap, I don't know if there will be a shadow of youth passing away, or I am still at a loss in the helpless search.

In the choir, Kyuno, who can play the piano, is the envy of the girls. They began to be dissatisfied with this and began to provoke. The beautiful Shenqi took these girls away, and she couldn't see the brilliance of Cangye.

The quiet and elegant girl, when playing the piano, the music flows on the piano into a soft dream.

Jiuye is very calm to the girl who is hostile to her, and she does not dispute anything.

In the dark, everyone is practicing the song that has been changed for a long time. There is no piano accompaniment, only beautiful harmony, flashing like light, and the figure walks on the blue background.

I like sounds and colors.

I like it.

In the auditorium, the chorus competition began. At the piano, Kuno just stood quietly, standing in a stagnant painting. And over there, those girls' eyes are triumphant and arrogant.

But they are still singing songs adapted by Kuno.

Lian Shu looked at Nagano silently. Can he see through this seemingly weak girl? Yoko hisano.

She is still jealous, unless, of course, she is destroyed.

Outside the warehouse, the houses and grass in the sun are beautiful and have a warm luster.

Lian Shu looked down at the girl he liked who had been staring at Cang Ye for a long time, an innocent girl. He knew that her fate could not escape, but it was himself who brought her down.

Kamizaki appeared beside him with a gloating look in his eyes. She has been looking forward to the destruction of Nagano for a long time, and perhaps even she herself can't explain why. Many times, I hate someone for no reason. Many people will do this, but I won't turn this dislike into destruction in such a cruel way.

In the warehouse, the color turned blue, and the camera began to shake rudely, flashing for a long time with an expression of fear. It hurts when you shake it.

Struggle, struggle, feathers flying, blue feathers flying.

White dazzling, black dazzling, all kinds of colors.

struggle ......

Out of the window, Shen Qi looked at and smiled. She looked at Kuno's pain and smiled.

Lotus saw crying under the blue and pure sky. He finally cried, and now Zhou can't treat his wound.

Hoshino smokes, puts on his hat and has the dark posture of the devil. In this way, he broke the wings of an angel, thus killing purity, and in this way, youth darkened in cruelty.

(8)

Shiori's room has a girl's warmth and a big teddy bear. It is similar to mine and looks warm.

Lian Jian's room is cold and green, and lonely worries are spreading.

A phone call between two people, a few simple words, is already a luxury. He and she are both helpless children. Under the casual appearance, it is a fragile and untouchable heart.

Lianhua Jian and Shiori were running in the street and took the guests' money to eat. Shiori has a beautiful smile, which makes people love her. In fact, the bottom of the smile is the source of crying.

Are you happy? Don't say unhappy, my heart is still bitter.

As Shiori said, who can protect who?

I can't even protect myself.

beautiful

Red train seats, blue sky outside transparent glass, pink flowers, yellow fields and green grass. Almost all the solid colors were used incisively and vividly by Shunji Iwai, and the music wandered between the distant colors until it was temporarily intoxicated, and I didn't know where to go.

What is behind this beauty?

Who is the strong one?

In class, the teacher called the roll, Yoko Kuno? No one answered, and the seat was empty.

Hisano ...

A few minutes later, the bald Kuno came in. She walked through the crowd, through her eyes and sat down quietly. No one knows what price she paid to resist the tragic destruction of her youth.

It's amazing to lift your seat.

And I, seeing here, have the shadow of tears in my eyes, although only for a moment.

"Want to die, several times, but die not good-looking, fell, fell.

Forever story

Continue to decline. Help me. who is it?

Please take me out later ... "

In the piano, everything seems to be yesterday, but everything has changed beyond recognition.

Nobody can help anyone.

The green cat said to ophelia, I am as miserable as you.

Music, breathing

Survival, survival, we survive.

Breathe, breathe, breathe.

* * * Ming, * * Ming, * * Ming.

Wings that can't fly, feathers that are wet by rain, angels that fall into the world. ...

In the sky, kites are flying, outlining a tall iron shelf and a gorgeous rainbow cross. What a pure feeling.

Shiori watched, looking for that feeling, but it still hurt. It hurts too much to stand.

And Hoshino, the same miserable green cat, stood in the sun, listening, listening. ......

In the blue sky, red and white kites are dancing. Line, line, line or line, the unprofitable line, the tangled line is broken, free and dead.

Shiori ran, looked at the kite and smiled happily. Then he flew, flew, flew in the sky, and fell.

I want to fly to the sky by kite. In this cardamom age.

Tall towers, flying kites, dead girls, and colorful mobile phones hanging on the wires. ......

The end of the flight has arrived. With its cold smile, the years swaggered past. I don't care about the blood on the ground at all, just let it fade away.

Huang Chengcheng sky, the funeral crowd, are walking slowly, but no matter how slow, also can't keep up with the pace of death.

There are flowers on the table, but there are no lights. ......

Lian Jian began to vomit. He said there was a voice that sounded in his head. I don't know what that is.

Maybe it's not the sound.

(9)

In February 65438, Hoshino shouted, wept and became hysterical in the open field.

Music, only music, in the passage of youth, growth, change, cruelty, life and death, only music, no future, no dream, no hope. ...

In front of the concert

Hoshino has a green apple in his hand. He saw the lotus, and the lotus saw the stars.

"I see you, you see me"

Green Apple-Green Cat-Hoshino-Filja-Lily Week ...

Lian Jian was asked to buy coke. The green apples and red coke in his hand are so bright.

He searched in the crowd and finally saw the distant star field. He saw it, saw Hoshino raise his ticket, smashed it, and then threw it into the distance.

Lotus also raised the red coke, vacant and self-effacing. All the imaginary romance and warmth were finally broken, and there was no possibility of cleaning up the mess, and the gap could never be bridged. ...

I spilled my coke, damn it.

It was getting dark, and Lian Jian stood there, with a blue light on the big screen, reflecting his lonely shadow.

Everything stopped and the screen was still for a long time until Lily Zhouzhou appeared.

Zhou Lili, Zhou Lili. ...

After the rest, people walked by, Hoshino walked by, patted Lian Jian on the shoulder and left easily.

Collapsed, unable to escape fate, teased by youth, and finally at the moment of collapse, this is the moment.

Lian Jian shouted "Lily Chow" and the crowd began to surge. In the crowded crowd, Lian Jian swam against the current, looking for the stars. What he once comforted, what he once comforted in reality and network, is now a mirage, recalling the past and leaving nothing behind.

Hoshino, Hoshino, look back at Lian Jian. Their faces were very close, and after staring at each other for a few seconds, Hoshino's expression was calm.

And then fell.

When Lian saw her leaving, the crowd was in turmoil.

On the train, even seeing him pull out the knife on the apple, as if he had completed the mission entrusted by fate, he remained calm.

On that day, another soul was lost and a teenager died. Can death bring hope or more despair?

Lian Jian clumsily played the piano, the curtains fluttered gently, and the light was bright but comfortable.

200 1 year, 15 years old.

Hisano is playing the piano. In the room, the teacher and Lian Jian are talking.

"What's bothering you?"

"no"

"Are you? Just let it be, work hard, if you don't work hard, then ... "

Still don't understand, never. ......

No one can understand this teenager.

( 10)

Everything about Zhou Lili.

Everything about Zhou Lili.