Full text of lonely seagull spirit

A lonely old man

I live in the suburbs. If you go to work every day and leave early, you will definitely see an old man walking alone on the suburban ring road. He's always

Walking on the separation line in the middle of the expressway, the traffic on both sides is like weaving. He still walks straight and trembling, waving to the roaring traffic from time to time, like reviewing the marshal of the three armies, which is in harmony with the uniform he has been wearing. His bottom coat is for pedestrians, with leggings or trousers stuffed in his stockings and a pair of military rubber shoes. The old man's head does not exist, reflecting the morning light brightly. Sometimes you can see him when you pass by the other side of the city at noon. Still walking alone in the middle of the road, the sweaty bald head is getting brighter and brighter in the big sun. The route he took obviously violated the traffic rules, but no one corrected him, even the traffic police turned a blind eye. It seems that everyone is used to his way of walking.

I walked through the traffic and crowds in the city, and no one who passed by remembered it, but I remembered the old man. Then I sent it.

Now, there is more than one person like him. Although he is not so eye-catching, with a little attention, you can see such a lonely old man on the roadside, under the overpass and on the stone bench in the park. No one accompanied them, no one looked at them, and no dog even came near them. They repeat their habitual actions almost every day. For them, life is stagnant and the sun is getting older every day.

I suddenly thought of my father. He has six children, who live under the same roof, with their children and grandchildren around their knees, but each has his own home. Only on festivals.

On holidays, the two old rooms are hotter. Father likes walking. He goes shopping after lunch every day. We suggested that he travel in the morning instead. The sun is too hot in the afternoon, so it is easy to get heatstroke. But he couldn't change it. He went out when everyone was hiding in the room. He knows everything new. His first stroke was in the street, in the hot sun. On that day, we invited two elderly people to our home. After sitting for a while, he couldn't help walking in the street. Later, he replied "yes" and said that his hands and feet were a little awkward. He always wanted to go out for a walk after hemiplegia. When he was about to lose consciousness, he packed up his toiletries and hung them around his neck, saying that he was going on a long trip. At the age of 85, he finally left his weak body and walked away alone. I have always felt guilty because I didn't go too much with my father. Nowadays, when you see an old man walking alone, you will think of your father. But my father is blessed after all. None of his six children and a group of grandchildren is unfilial. He has many friends. He is open-minded and talkative by nature, and seldom goes alone-until all his old friends leave him one by one. We certainly won't be as lucky as him. Sociologists have analyzed that the "four-two-one syndrome" with four elderly people, two couples and an only child will be the most intractable thing for families in China in the future, and the crux lies in the problem of the elderly. It is estimated that by the year 2000, the elderly over 60 will account for about 20% of the total population. In other words, in the next century, there will be more old people walking alone in the streets of China, including me.

I am not an expert on aging, and even I just look at this lonely old man who left a strong impression on me from a distance. Although I am very

I wonder why these old people go alone. Who is taking care of them? ..... but I haven't really walked and talked with them. Maybe one day I will never see a lonely old man again, and I will feel melancholy, but in the desert-like sea of people, this melancholy is nothing. Until one day, the experience of a lonely old man made me feel ashamed of this indifference.

It was an ordinary winter day, and photographer Xiong Zhi asked me to meet an old man. The old man walks from the suburbs ten times a day.

I came all the way to the Cuihu Lake in the city just to feed the seagulls. He has eaten for ten years, and even seagulls know him.

I don't know if he is the lonely old man I often meet, and I really want to take this opportunity to learn something.

1995 65438+February 4th

When I came to Cuihu, seagulls were flying noisily. Ten years ago, seagulls suddenly flew to Kunming, and Kunming people began to feed them.

Since then, I have come here for a holiday every winter and spring, and it has gradually become a scene in Kunming. Cuihu Park in the urban area is a place frequented by the elderly and a scenic spot where seagulls gather. For more than ten years, seagulls have flown to Kunming every year, bringing a fresh and wild feeling to the dusty city and adding many beautiful topics to busy people.

After more than ten years of human-gull interaction, people have an understanding of seagulls: Where did they come from? Where are you going? Why do you want to fly? How to raise it?

Children? Seagulls bring various discussions on their policies, regulations, ecology, biology, aesthetics and literature, bring hot spots of tourism, vacation and sightseeing, and even bring seasonal prosperity to new industries that specialize in making seagull bread and taking photos with people and seagulls.

After ten years of interaction between people and gulls, seagulls also learned about people: some primary school students went into the water to help sick seagulls despite the cold, and some caught seagulls for pickling.

Dried meat farmers; Some people regard seagulls as relatives, while others spread rumors that seagulls spread diseases; On the one hand, "seagulls forget the machine", on the other hand, "seagull bread", which is becoming more and more pocket-sized and ethereal. ...

It is easy to recognize the old man among the people feeding seagulls. He huddled with people wearing colorful clothes and threw bread balls into the air.

Watching seagulls fly is different from pecking. He is wearing a faded and outdated dress, and the hand-sewn stitches and rough texture can tell his family. He carried a bulging blue cloth bag on his back, and no one picked it up when he threw it away. The big plastic bag for bird food was wrinkled and even the trademark was worn away.

He is not the lonely old man I often see. There is nothing unusual in his behavior.

The sparsely populated area is his territory for feeding seagulls. He feeds the seagulls in a different way. He doesn't eat in the air, let alone in the water, but

Put some carefully broken biscuits, just big enough for seagulls to swallow, carefully put them on the park fence, then step back and pout and call to the flock. Seagulls seemed to really listen, and immediately a group of people answered, stopped on the fence to peck, and cleaned it up in a few times. The old man grabbed another one from his bag and put it by the railing. Seagulls followed him up and down, forming a roaring white. The old man pursed his mouth and mumbled a lot to them. Seeing them eating happily, I couldn't help throwing a piece into my toothless mouth and chewing it with relish for a long time. I don't know whether to swallow it or remind seagulls not to be in such a hurry.

Seagulls saw that he chewed with relish and slowed down, so they opened their red mouths and shouted at him like greedy children. He was ten years old then.

Fen proudly took out another handful from his pocket, pressed the beans, nodded, and walked with exaggerated steps, like a marshal reviewing the three armies.

Seagulls are beside him, rising and falling according to his rhythm, flying into colorful music.

Listening to the old man singing cadently in the sound of seagulls, I guess it should be a March. Listen carefully and identify intimate relationships.

Old Kunming dialect —— "Jiao Du", "Grey Head", "Red Mouth", "Lao Sha", "Huang Jiao", "Princess", "Xiao Nan" ... "Have you named the seagull?"

I can't help asking

When the old man was in a good mood, he heard someone interrupt him and glanced back, which was not surprising. He just leaned over to the seagull and said, "Sure, which one?"

Everyone has a name. "

"Do you recognize them?"

The same white wings are flashing rapidly in the sun, and I doubt whether the old man can see clearly.

"Look, look! The one wearing the ring is Lao Sha, the czar of Siberia! "

The old man showed it to me ostentatiously. "According to a professor of Yunnan University, this is the ring of Moscow Environmental Records Center."

A burst of flying white, where can you see who is who!

"You don't believe it?"

The old man came to the scene and searched in the flying Bai Niao like a bet. The sun made his eyes narrow and his face wrinkled.

My face is crowded.

"Forget it, old man, keep the change."

I can't bear to see him like that.

The old man ignored me and continued to look for water, but there was still no result.

"It was there just now!" He was in a hurry and had to shout at the water: "A foot! Lao Sha! Get up when you come! "

There was no more or less on the water, and two seagulls jumped up and flew to the old man. A seagull's feet really have metal reflections flashing, which should be

It's Lao Sha! The other flew very close and pecked at the old man's hand. Different from other seagulls, it does not fold its wings when it lands, but keeps flapping its wings. Now I can clearly see that it has only one foot. In order to stand firm, it had to flap its wings to keep its balance when it stopped. The old man seems to have a soft spot for "one leg" and fed a lot of food. That look is like grandpa to grandson, lover to lover.

Let's take a step back and let them stay a little longer.

Suddenly, "One Leg" flew away with a bang and flew back to the flock. A fashionable "little half" (as Kunming people call bold guys) came in.

Step in, with a naughty smile on your face. But his frivolous face immediately changed shape, and the rough hand of the old seagull twisted on his ear and pushed it out like a thief: "What on earth are you doing!" " The old man growled angrily. I don't know if the old man pushed too hard or the people around him stared at the guy too spicy. The fashionable guy made a fool of himself in public, but he didn't dare to fight back and ran away in despair. The old man's popularity has not disappeared, and he is still cursing: "These bastards! There's worse. Grab it with your hands! Seagulls fly at high speed, grab their wings and break, and touch their feet and break. Once a foreign girl reached out and grabbed a seagull. I went up and grabbed her hair, and her face turned white with fear. If you think she is young, you have to knock her a few times! "

"You see, they are afraid of you." I smiled.

"I can't do it if I'm not afraid. I have the support of the Public Security Bureau and the Environmental Protection Bureau. " The old man is very proud.

"Bird food is issued by the Environmental Protection Agency?" It is said that many organizations have organized some activities to distribute bird food and encourage the protection of seagulls.

"I don't have that luck," the old man was a little depressed, "so I have to pay for it myself. 4.5 1 kg, cookies made by Potou Jiqingxiang,

Seagulls like to eat. "

I calculated in my mind that even if I buy 1 kg every day, I have to pay 145 yuan every month.

"How much pension can you get in January?"

"It used to be more than 200 yuan, but it rose to 308 yuan last month." The old man happily put his hand on my ear. "I also reissued 198 yuan! This seagull

This is also a blessing. I can buy them two kilos more biscuits. "

"At the current price, how do you live with a hundred dollars?" As soon as I calculated, I realized that the money the old man fed the seagulls was almost half of his salary.

"Of course, you have to be careful! Fortunately, people are old and can't spend a few dollars. Two steamed buns a day, a bowl of dry rice and some side dishes.

I sent it. Sewing clothes by yourself, ugly and really dressed. If I don't drink, I'll smoke a cigarette, smoke the Jinsha River, and draw my own money. It's really good. Although I drink a lot of tea, it doesn't cost much to bring my own. "

He took out an old plastic beverage bottle with big leaf tea from the rag bag, took a few mouthfuls in a generous gesture, and touched it again, but found several cokes the size of a fist. "The road is not good, the charcoal car jumped down. I'm not afraid of your laughter. You have to walk for two or three hours every day to see seagulls, and you rarely take the bus. One is to exercise, and the other is to pick up something to burn. A person's meal, the dry branches blown down by the wind are enough to burn. "

"Are you alone at home?"

"Bachelor, one person can feed the whole family!"

"Where do you live?"

"Sister Ma." The old man replied faintly that there was no commonly used next sentence in old Kunming: "Come and sit at home when you are free."

Ma street is in the suburbs, a few kilometers away from here. Thinking of those old people who walk alone, I suddenly have a desire to walk with them.

He said, "I will call on you when you are free."

"Mo Lai Mo Lai!" The old man simply refused to do it. Seeing my embarrassment, he added, "Thank you for your kindness. However, my nest ... don't give the unit a bad name. Besides, I have complicated historical problems and should not harm you. "

Somehow, the conversation turned from seagulls to people.

After the story was finished, the old man was no longer shy, dragged me away from the seagulls, as if afraid that they would hear me, and whispered to me:

"I have been through labor reform and have been in prison."

I was a little surprised, not because of the old man's life experience, but because of his frankness. After all, this is the first time we have met.

So, the old man told me his experience for most of his life like telling other people's stories:

My youth was associated with the war: first, China fought the Japanese, and then China fought China. I

Although I don't hear many gunshots in Kunming where I live, my life is boring. I smoke a lot. In the 1950 s, the task force came, mobilized us to get rid of drugs, and said, "Be a new person after liberation and stand up voluntarily!" I stood up, quit drugs, and went to college, revolutionary university. At that time, people had an ideal in their hearts, like Gorky's seagulls, flying through the wind and rain to the light. I feel that I have been thoroughly remoulded, from a heavy smoker to an ideal person. After graduating from college, I volunteered to work in the frontier, and I did a great job. I also began to fall in love with a woman. Who knows she is a married woman! I felt guilty and took the initiative to check my thoughts with the organization. Organize a check, the woman is a soldier's family. You deserve six years for ruining the military marriage this time. After I came out, I tried to make up for it. I just recovered and met with the "Cultural Revolution".

",to a ghostly. I've been in prison, belonging to nine kinds of bad guys, and I'm being eliminated. Not convinced, I made several arguments and didn't know which one was wrong. I was immediately arrested and turned into an "active counter-revolutionary". I was arrested and locked up and sentenced to 20 years. I've been stuck in prison all my life. Later, I was rehabilitated and found that my case was unjust, so I was "acquitted" and arranged to work in a chemical plant. However, I am old and have no children, only seagulls to accompany me. Speaking of seagulls, the old man's eyes came to life at once. Seagull came as soon as he retired in 1984 (note: all kinds of records say that seagull flew to Kunming for the first time in 1985 to feed in the city, but the old man always insisted that he came when he retired in 1984). I think they're after people like me. We have been apart for 50 years! I saw them when I was a child, flying in the grass sea of Dianchi Lake, free and spotless, and now thinking of them is like dreaming. A poet wrote a pair in Daguanlou, which read' seagulls are awesome'. " "Awesome" means teasing and joking. Really! Seagull is very smart, people get along well with it, and it will come and play jokes on you. I had a good time with seagulls. Although it is a bird, it actually knows a lot about friendship. The year before last, there was a seagull. The day before flying out of Kunming, it stopped on my hat five times again and again. I thought it was a joke, but later I realized it was goodbye. Didn't come last year, and didn't come this year.

The old man was a little sad and murmured, "It's saying goodbye to me! Seagulls are the most affectionate and cautious. I've known since I was a kid.

Children, the elf is very clever. It knows what people have done to it. Later, when the Japanese plane arrived and there were no seagulls, they said,' Seagulls are killing people.

There is no room for poetry. It's been 50 years, and it's either war or "movement", and it's all gone, all gone! Their news is very clever. If someone hurts their partner, the whole group will fly to save them. If we can't save them, they will all fly away and never come again. One year, Kunming people were not nice to seagulls, and the seagulls had already flown away. I'm afraid they will never come again. In this half century, I can see that the days with seagulls are beautiful, but the days without seagulls are boring. Seagull is a symbol of closeness between people and between people and nature. The ancients said that' white gulls fly to bring poems', and I said that white gulls fly to bring blessings! 1984 when the seagull came, I knew my blessing had come, and the blessing of Kunming people had come. I have been very satisfied these years, and I don't want to go anywhere, just thinking about them. My sister is in Guizhou, and wrote to say, come and live with us, so as not to be alone. I said I was not alone, so many beautiful seagulls accompanied me that I could not bear to leave them. They are lucky birds, happy birds and love birds! Look at their little faces, they are all funny and painful! Hint hint hint ... "The old man pursed his mouth and called for seagulls, while grabbing some biscuits and putting them on the fence again and again as compensation. When seagulls saw the old man's cry, they immediately flew over, surrounded the old man and flew up and down, which was very spectacular, attracting passers-by to stop and watch and admire.

Several gull feeders saw this scene and rushed to join in the fun. They imitate the old man and put bread balls on the fence. They also want to see the scenery. Seeing this, the old man withdrew from the circle exaggeratedly, tilted his head back and looked at several imitators with a childish face. Sure enough, seagulls don't trust strangers, so they bow their heads and hover, looking at the empty space, grab a piece and leave, never staying long. At this time, the old man showed a triumphant smile on his face, strode forward to feed, and let seagulls fly around his hands, which attracted another burst of admiration.

When the sun sets, the biscuits in the old man's plastic bag are empty. He had to stand by and watch others feed him, looking jealous. Seeing someone throwing food into the water, he advised: "The water is not clean, and it is not good for seagulls to eat bread dipped in that water." Or blow to some gull feeders: "I have seen the king of seagulls! It is twice as big as the average seagull, wearing a crown on its head, and it is very majestic. Every flock of seagulls has a leader. You see, flying alone in the sky is the head of this group. As long as it gets up, others will follow. It's getting late, and they will go back soon. " It is said that they are resting in Wan Hui near Dianchi Lake, but unfortunately I can't go there. "The old man looked at the flock hovering high in the sky, his eyes shining with rays of hope in the sunset.

Xiong Zhi asked me to visit the old seagulls in Cuihu again, saying that he visited the old seagulls in Cuihu last week and found that the old man was in a bad mental state. The old man caught a cold and only ate a bowl of noodles for two days. He looks rather weak, and his back is bent even more. Xiong Zhi saw that he couldn't stand up, so he helped him to sit down and rest in the park. He sat on the stone bench, feeding the food hard, and didn't stay long before he bought a bag of biscuits and went home.

A few days later, Xiong Zhi worried and went to Cuihu to find it. I didn't know until the evening that the old man hadn't come for several days, so I was busy calling.

It is estimated that the old man is very ill. A person, whether he likes it or not, decided to look for his home. 199565438+February 2 1

Early in the morning, several friends who had seen the old man once drove the "Bison" of the Exploration Association to the Majie Chemical Plant to look for him. I searched several places and asked the factory union retired workers management Committee where the "old man who feeds seagulls every day" lives. The people in the office looked at us in surprise and asked, "Who are you?"

When we explained our purpose, they sighed, "The old man who feeds seagulls every day is Lao Wu Shi Qingheng. You are late. Teacher Wu passed away yesterday. "

We froze and couldn't speak for a moment. Half a month ago, the old man's attitude of feeding seagulls was still alive in front of my eyes, how could he leave! The reason why we found an SUV to see him is that if the old man gets well, we will take him to Wan Hui to see the resting place of seagulls and give him a wish. Now it's too late, too late!

"Where is the old man?" Someone asked softly. "Freezing to death, waiting for his sister in Guizhou."

"Can I see where he lives?" Someone asked again.

The people in the office hesitated: "Our factory is not profitable. Forget it. " "We understand. Just look at where the old man lives. " We stick to it together.

In several rows of old bungalows, we found the old man's home. Although we said hello long ago, we didn't expect the old man to be so humble when we opened the door. The low bedroom is dark and narrow, only room for a single bed and a table. There are some old books, newspapers, letters and photos scattered on the bedside floor, which have been placed outside the bedroom door. I guess it was torn from the old man when he was carrying his body. The kitchen is small, too, but empty. There are no tables and cabinets, only a small stool and a few bundles of dry branches. There is a small stove at the door with a small pot on it. A pot of herbs soaked in water must be used by old people to treat colds these days. There is a bottle of soy sauce soaked in garlic on the windowsill, some eggs, clothes soaked in the washbasin, an old straw hat, a blue cloth bag that we are familiar with, and a broken biscuit in a plastic bag.

Neighbors looked out when they saw someone coming. A middle-aged man surnamed Bao said, "Teacher Lao Wu shouldn't have left so early. Although he is 7 1 year old, he is in good health. He walks to the city every day without getting sick. This time, he caught a cold ... "

"Comrade Wu Qingheng rarely reimbursed medical expenses in the factory for so many years." Knowing that the factory was in trouble, he didn't want to disturb the collective. When he was sick, he paid for Chinese medicine and cooked it himself. "Factory union people added.

"I think he is too frugal." Mr. Bao went on to say, "I live next door to him, and it is rare to smell meat in his kitchen." He got up in the morning, boiled water and made a cup of hot tea. Eat some noodles at noon, or go to the canteen to make some steamed bread, eat half and leave half, and feed the seagulls back at night, and the meal will be hot. He eats sparingly, doesn't cook much, and even cooks pickles himself. He thought it was expensive to buy ready-made pickles, so he weighed garlic, peeled it and soaked it in soy sauce. In fact, he didn't buy these eggs for himself. But when he was short of money and couldn't afford cookies to feed the seagulls, he bought some flour, beat some eggs, put them in and steamed them. He said seagulls like them, too. He burned the branches he picked up on the road and sewed them himself. I said, master Wu, don't save it. He said there was no way. If we don't save it, the seagulls will have nothing to eat. He risked his life for seagulls. A little cold won't kill anyone. He is frugal all year round, which makes him so weak! "

"Comrade Wu Qingheng never bothered to organize," praised the workers of the factory union. "He said the factory was in trouble, but he also promised to pay retirement wages. It's already hard for him. At most, he asks people for some old books and newspapers, and after reading them, he saves them and sells them to junk collectors for a few dollars.

Yesterday, another garbage collector came to see him. When he heard that he was dead, he left in a hurry without asking. "

Mr Bao picked up a photo of Zhang Haiou from the ground and said thoughtfully, "The night before yesterday, he came to me and said,' Mr Bao, I'm going to England. I said,' Well, is there any letter on the other end? Let's go. It is not surprising to hear that he had relatives abroad before. He shook his head, sighed and said, "Alas! I'm just worried about these seagulls. I joked:' Then don't go. His tone was heavy and he looked helpless:' I can't do it without going. I joked,' That's easy. If you take some photos of seagulls, you can watch them every day. I know that he has some photos of seagulls, which he bought for 2.50 yuan the year before last. Hearing this, he repeatedly said,' Oh, yes, I can't remember! He put his hands together, thanked him again and again, and then said goodbye to his family. I laughed at him for making a mountain out of a molehill, which was too exaggerated. I didn't expect him to say that he would go to the' Yin Country'! "

"He obviously knew it was time to go, so when he went to bed the night before, he opened all the doors. Yesterday morning, we saw his door wide open, but nothing happened. When we went in, we saw that the old man had passed away. He turned out these photos and put them beside him. "

I took this picture of seagulls, with their footprints printed on it. People don't take the time to take care of a poor old man's legacy. In a few days, they will be cleaned and incinerated. Even garbage collectors may not want these things.

With the consent of the people in the factory, we put away the photos.

Tomorrow is the funeral of the old seagull. It seems to us that something should be done.

In Cuihu, where the old seagull used to go, we posted the obituary of his death on the fence where the old man used to feed the seagulls. Seagulls are hovering above the obituary, and I wonder if they can read it. People who can read are silent when they read obituaries. No one knows the name "Wu Qingheng". The old man is too ordinary, has no title, has no fame, and has never even seen a piece of popular paper with a name on it.

Xiong Zhi developed and enlarged the photo of the old man feeding the seagulls for the last time and took it to the place where the old man fed the seagulls. Many people should recognize him immediately-"the old man who comes to feed the seagulls every day!" " People don't know his name, but they are familiar with his smile. Looking at the seagulls flying all over the sky, people can't express their respect for the elderly and regret for life and death, so they signed their names on the photos of the elderly. It is not clear whether they want to add a gull feeder to the elderly or accompany the lonely elderly. The signers are old people, children, soldiers, professors, "foreigners" and ethnic minorities. There are also a few foreigners who don't want to leave their names, leaving only a few tens of dollars. Let's buy a wreath for the elderly-in memory of Gull Friends. A girl who is engaged in photography is in tears. She met the old seagull at the beginning of the year and wanted to take a group of photos of the old man and seagull. The old man was afraid that she would disturb the seagulls. Maybe she was not only ignored by the woman, but also taught her a friendly lesson. When she had a hard time getting close to the old man, he had already left. ......

We put the photo signed by the old man on the lawn, ready to lay food for the seagulls again on behalf of the old man.

We just packed up the old man's portrait, but before we had dinner, something unexpected happened-a group of Bai Ou suddenly flew in, hovering around the old man's portrait, screaming and flying around in a different way from usual, as if something big had happened.

We hurried back without paying attention to the spilled food.

Seagulls flapped their wings quickly and took turns to stay in the air in front of the portrait of the old man, like relatives who came to mourn.

The old man in the portrait solidified with an action they are most familiar with; But they are definitely not looking for food at the moment, but more like a sacred farewell. Soon, some Bai Ou landed one after another, standing neatly in the front and back rows of the old man's portrait, standing quietly, like a winged angel holding a wake for the old man.

This scene lasted for a long time, and everyone who saw it couldn't believe it was just a coincidence.

When we finally had to put away the portrait, seagulls came at it like frying pans. They opened their mouths and sang songs, flapping their wings so close that their fellow photographers subconsciously tightened their bodies and finally came out of this dancing white whirlpool.

It suddenly occurred to me that this scene was familiar, and the expressions of those seagulls were familiar-that's what the old man often did when he fed the seagulls: when he was full, the old man grabbed a biscuit and threw it into his toothless mouth, chewing it slowly and muttering to the seagulls for a long time. As a result, seagulls will yell at him with their big red mouths like coquetry, and their wings will flash white. ...

At the moment, I really believe that seagulls know obituaries, understand this black-framed photo, believe that everything in the world is of one root and one heart, and believe that there is a language that is * * *.