After giving birth to a girl, the husband and mother-in-law went on a trip while the woman was in confinement. When she returned, the daughter had a father. What do you think of this?

-01-

In our country, although the country has always advocated that "boys and girls are the same", there are still some areas where the preference for boys over girls is very serious. The idea of ????preferring boys over girls is actually the most stupid and ignorant manifestation.

People who favor boys over girls probably think that boys can carry on the family line and raise children to provide for old age. But more and more examples tell us that daughters can also provide for their parents in old age, and daughters are more careful and take better care of their parents than sons.

When it comes to retirement care, women and men are actually the same. So the remaining issue of continuing the family line is actually a kind of prejudice, or it can be said to be a human obsession.

Is carrying on the family line important to each of our lives?

If you think about it carefully, it seems to have no impact at all. It will neither bring you food nor drink. It is just a so-called false name.

Although the truth is so simple, it is also very difficult for these people to accept it. And I found that the poorer the area, the more serious the mentality of favoring boys over girls; while people in highly developed areas no longer care about the issue of having boys and girls.

It is actually more difficult than reaching the sky to change the minds of people in these impoverished areas. Because of their limited cultural quality, they have never heard of the truth you are talking about. No matter how much you say, it is just playing the piano to others.

-02-

In recent years, I have been focusing on solving marital and emotional problems. Many readers will send me private messages to ask me some questions. I found that the question of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is the most frequently asked question. Moreover, the causes of conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are also varied and confusing.

Although we already know the essence of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, we know that theory often has no effect, and we need to combine theory with practice. And the vast majority of people just stop at practice.

And I found that there are many cases of conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law due to the preference for sons over daughters. Many women are insulted, made things difficult, and even abused by their mothers-in-law just because they gave birth to a daughter. The conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law caused by this reason are often unresolved.

Because you can't change the mind of your mother-in-law who values ??boys over girls, nor can you change the fact that a woman gives birth to a daughter. Faced with this situation, I personally always recommend treating it coldly and trying not to have contact with the mother-in-law in order to reduce conflicts.

And men who can play an important role in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are often helpless when faced with this situation. What's more, like her mother, she will favor boys over girls, and then a woman's married life will be extremely miserable.

-03-

Reader Xiaolu is such a miserable woman. Fortunately, she was able to stop her losses in time and save her life in time. When she told me about her marriage experience, I was full of sympathy for her. After all, if a woman has an unhappy marriage, it means that her life is also painful.

The tragedy of Xiaolu is that she married into a family that values ??boys over girls. Both her husband and mother-in-law value boys over girls. But she gave birth to a daughter after getting married, which also marked the beginning of her miserable life.

Xiaolu is 27 years old this year. She met her ex-husband Abin through a blind date.

When she was young, Xiaolu was not good at studying, so she stopped studying after high school. When she was 20 years old, she went out to work with a few friends. It was also during that time that Xiaolu met her first boyfriend, Aqiang.

At that time, Xiaolu was young, and it was her first love with Aqiang, so she devoted herself wholeheartedly to this relationship. The two had been dating for about five years, and Aqiang was also very good to her. Lu felt that her greatest wish was to marry him.

It’s a pity that things confuse people. Because Aqiang’s family background is not good, Xiaolu’s parents are very opposed to the two of them being together. Xiaolu and her parents quarreled many times, and their parents even threatened death. Finally, in desperation, Xiaolu had no choice but to break up with Aqiang.

-04-

This incident had a great impact on her. When she was 25 years old, she returned to her hometown, and her parents kept arranging blind dates for her. There is no hope for a relationship anymore, and I just let my parents arrange it.

My parents made many choices and found A Bin from the next village for her. A Bin's family is relatively wealthy, and his parents are in the breeding industry. A Bin is also relatively honest. After meeting Xiao Lu, A Bin fell in love with Xiao Lu.

When her parents asked Xiaolu what she wanted, Xiaolu thought it didn’t matter, so she agreed. The two have been dating for a while, and Xiaolu feels that although Abin is a bit chauvinistic, he is more down-to-earth and hard-working, and is a man suitable for marriage.

In this way, the two people got married not long after.

After getting married, the couple has been living with their parents-in-law. Xiaolu’s mother-in-law is a woman with a relatively strong personality. She has the final say in everything at home, no matter how big or small. Xiaolu has a relatively docile personality. Even if she is dissatisfied with her mother-in-law's actions, she will not show it. The mother-in-law and daughter-in-law get along relatively harmoniously.

Less than half a year after getting married, Xiaolu became pregnant. A Bin and her mother-in-law were very happy, and they kept saying that Xiaolu was going to carry on the family lineage.

My mother-in-law, in particular, kept saying things like she must have a boy and I want to hold a grandson. It made Xiaolu feel very uncomfortable.

-05-

Xiaolu saw that everyone in her husband's family favored boys over girls, and her mother-in-law was even more serious. She looked down on women from the bottom of her heart. And A Bin also prefers boys over girls, which makes Xiaolu worried.

During this period, her mother-in-law even gave Xiaolu many so-called "herbal remedies" to eat.

In this way, until just before giving birth, Xiaolu was still a little uneasy. She didn't know what would happen if she gave birth to a daughter.

Unexpectedly, God played a joke on her and she really gave birth to a daughter. It can be said that her status in her husband's family has plummeted.

My mother-in-law was extremely insulting to her. She insulted her every day, scolded her, and called her a "waste" and "a loser for giving birth to a loser." My husband, A Bin, kept a straight face and sighed every day.

During the confinement period, Xiaolu stayed at her parents' house. Her mother-in-law almost never visited him, and Abin only went there twice. Then he disappeared, which made Xiaolu very chilled.

What really made her give up was when she discovered that Abin and her mother-in-law had gone on a trip while she was in confinement. She collapsed. She was in confinement and they ignored her. How could she still live in the future?

-06-

Xiaolu was determined to divorce A Bin. She asked someone to write the divorce agreement and handed it to A Bin when he came back. It was also at this time that her first love boyfriend Aqiang contacted her.

The two people have actually been in contact over the years, and Aqiang also knows her current situation. Moreover, Aqiang said that if Xiaolu gets divorced, he is willing to marry her and does not care whether he has children. Xiaolu was moved to tears and agreed to get married.

When A Bin came back, he received Xiaolu's divorce agreement and found that his daughter already had a new father. After experiencing these things, Xiaolu cherishes her relationship with Aqiang even more.

Conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law and between husband and wife caused by the preference for sons over daughters are difficult to deal with and there are almost no solutions. From what I know, either a woman has to endure it for the rest of her life, or she continues to have children until she gives birth to a boy. Neither of these two methods is acceptable to women.

What women have to do is to keep their eyes open and try to avoid marrying into a family that favors sons over daughters. At the same time, you must be self-reliant and firmly control your life in your own hands.