What is it like to immigrate to the United States and be a housewife?

What is it like to immigrate to the United States and be a housewife?

Yang Ni has friends around her. She was once a Shanghai girl who was a top student in a prestigious school and a great workplace. Now she is in Silicon Valley in the United States and has become a full-time housewife. Raising two children, she is responsible for doing laundry, cooking, growing vegetables, and other chores every day?

Having lived in the United States for nearly half a year, she shared her story with Yang Ni

In the United States To be a housewife, you must have a strong head and six arms

When I first came to the United States from Shanghai, I felt really tight in my chest for a while, and my heart felt a little bit different. A highly educated intellectual woman suddenly became an out-and-out housewife.

It’s as if one minute you were in the office dressed up, talking clearly about the contract, and giving directions; the next minute you were suddenly busy with firewood, rice, oil, salt, pots and pans, and dealing with the crying children’s feces and urine all day long. . Compared with the American housewives around me, my ability to survive is really shameful.

American mothers seem to have three heads and six arms. They are all strong and clever. It can carry items weighing dozens of kilograms and go, and it is effortless to take three or five children out shopping. Driving a car, taking care of a baby, and cooking are just basic skills. In addition, you can also sew clothes, change engine oil, and change tires.

The mother of her son’s classmate takes care of her two children alone and has to go to school every now and then to do volunteer work. I asked her how she had so much time, and she said, "It's too busy to stay at home. I have to find something to do."

We also have two kids, so why do I feel like I don't even have time to sleep? not enough?

As for my female classmates who stayed in China, after becoming mothers, they are still working hard in the workplace.

That so-and-so got the certified public accountant certificate; that so-and-so got the first-class construction engineer qualification; that so-and-so became a partner of a law firm; and so-and-so, he used to open a small company. , now the annual profit is several million.

Every time I see good news about them, I feel envious but also feel sour in my heart.

It’s really unrealistic to go to work.

For example, domestic high-end private kindergartens cost at most one to two thousand dollars a month, while in the United States, private kindergartens cost $1,600 a month. Although public schools are free, they only get out of school for three hours a day. After school ends at 12 o'clock, there is nothing to do, and there is no meal.

If you want to hire an aunt to cook and take care of the children, the cost is 3,000 US dollars per month. If the two children go to private schools, the monthly cost is at least 5,000 US dollars.

If he is a single young man, 40% of his monthly salary must be used to pay taxes.

Calculating this way, my value as a housewife is actually as high as more than 10,000 US dollars per month. Therefore, until I find a job with a salary of $10,000, I still have to stay at home to make daily necessities.

Their strong hands-on ability comes from their lifestyle

The labor cost in the United States is particularly high!

In New York, if your electrical appliance breaks down, the manufacturer will provide free replacement service during the warranty period, but you have to pay the repairman high labor costs. This is the case for a friend of mine, who replaces the heater for free, but The labor fee for the repairman is $1,500.

Because labor is expensive, all my American friends are DIY masters.

They repair roofs, pipes, paint walls, and take care of lawns themselves; when sewers are clogged, they go to a cleaning company to borrow equipment to fix them themselves; when carpets are dirty, they rent carpet cleaning machines; when moving, they rent trucks and move by themselves. If you really can't move it, ask an old Mo to help you.

My neighbor is a mechanical enthusiast. When you open the garage door of his house, you can find a small car repair shop. He even used his spare time to assemble three weird motorcycles! Different Values ??Later I discovered that the hardworking and courageous American people are actually cultivated from childhood.

American-style family education

I have a neighbor who has two daughters. She goes to community college every day and goes to bars at night.

I asked her what her secret was, and she said: "My eldest daughter is already 12 years old. According to the law, she can stay at home alone, and she can also bring her younger sister, and they can do it by themselves. If your family needs them to do any odd jobs, they can also do part-time jobs to help you take care of your children to earn pocket money.”

Another time I saw a mother with 6 children in the park. There was a child, and she walked in the front easily pushing the stroller. The long string of children behind her cried and laughed and didn't care, relying entirely on the boss and the second child to take care of it.

In China, which child is not followed by his grandfather, grandmother, grandma, father, mother and nanny?

I have been deeply inspired since then, and now my son can help his sister wash her face and dress her.

In fact, children are not as incompetent as you think. It’s just because of the Chinese parents’ education method. If they do everything for their children, then the children will naturally feel that they don’t have to do anything. Even parents feel that their children are too young to help, so the children naturally feel that they can't do anything.

Began to discover the joy of being a housewife

I am used to living in the United States, and I find that there are some lovely places here.

For example, our community is full of trees that are too big for one person to hold. You can see large forests within half an hour's drive. There are clear rivers, lakes, blue and transparent seas, and beautiful starry skies.

California has hundreds of kilometers of coastline with unparalleled sea views, the Rocky Mountains are winding, and there are free large parks everywhere. So Americans spend their weekends either hiking or camping, or riding horses, boating, and surfing.

In the United States, many people hit the road with a broken car that has never been repaired. Behind the pickup truck, there is often a luggage compartment, which contains sleeping bags, food and drinks, cats, dogs and children. There was a bicycle slung out front and a kayak strapped to the top.

At domestic tourist attractions, I often see many hurried tour groups. Everyone hurriedly gets off the car, took pictures and ran away.

When I came to the United States, I was far away from my hometown, but closer to my family.

We study recipes together, cook together, sing songs with our children, go on weekend outings, and travel on holidays. Slowly, I learned to grill steaks, make desserts, and cook various complex Chinese dishes. I could also plant vegetables, flowers, water and fertilize, and catch slugs by the way. The most amazing thing is that I also learned to give haircuts to the whole family.

Slowly, I learned to slow down, appreciate life, learn to enjoy the time with my children, learn to cultivate for a long time, and then wait for a flower to bloom slowly.

You can be happy without money

When I was in China, I was often very anxious, forcing myself to work hard, and often felt insecure, because at that time I felt that I would be happy without money. Will not be happy.

In the past, my husband always said that work was tiring, and he also said that there were nannies and elderly people to help him anyway. After returning home, he would often sit with his hands full doing nothing, or just go to dinner parties, and there were often dinner parties in the evenings and weekends. I was also very busy. I went shopping with my best friends and watched early morning movies.

It's good now. Shopping malls and supermarkets have closed early, and there are not many restaurants that can catch the eyes of us Chinese people. The almost zero American nightlife sent us all back home.

When I arrived in the United States, I began to feel that I could still be happy even if I didn’t have much money. That night, I stood at the door and looked at the stars. My neighbor, an American aunt, happened to be out and stopped to look up at the stars with me.

She told me which one is Mars and which one is Jupiter. The planets do not blink before the stars blink. She told me the names of each constellation and described the spectacular meteor shower in August? In fact, the American aunt is just an ordinary person. His only job is to help his nephew take care of his children.

At that moment, I suddenly discovered that even if I am a housewife, I can still be stylish, fashionable and cool!