Traditional Culture Encyclopedia - Travel guide - Seek a sketch script about humorous travel! !
Seek a sketch script about humorous travel! !
[Character: A collects junk. ]
B Both foreigners and foreigners sell rubbish. ]
[Male, cheating male. Female, cheating female. ]
(Note: According to the order of appearance, B. The derailed man and foreigner can be played by one person. )
{Background: As soon as A came on stage, he pushed a cart with a recording horn for small business, and the horn shouted: Garbage needs money. . . . . A is reading a book while pushing a broken car, with a book in his hand. )
Garbage collector! (A didn't hear the book, but B shouted again) Garbage collector!
Call me?
what are you reading? I called you several times before I heard you! What book fascinates you so much?
Oh, nothing. Do you have any secondhand goods to sell?
B: Don't interfere, demo! It's all rubbish. It's quite luxurious! Is this book Jin Ping Mei or Pan Jinlian? (Talking about a grabbed book and reading it) English self-study series. Why did you learn this? Are you going abroad to collect junk?
What are you talking about? Why does everyone talk to me like that? I'm from China! Go to a foreign country to collect garbage! My motherland needs me, and I also need my motherland. Serving the people of the motherland is my lifelong wish and pursuit! (B means to throw up, patting his chest) (A tells the audience) As far as I'm concerned, I threw up several times.
A: (A says to B) Why, why don't you show it!
Oh, you almost threw up on me!
A: What's wrong with this man now? How many patriots gave their lives for the liberation of the country in the past? Just like you, if Dong Cunrui had something at home that day and didn't go to work. If you want to blow up the bunker, I think you have to go crazy under the bridge!
B: All right, all right! People's patriotism is for universities and the rich. What does this have to do with you, a junk collector?
What's wrong with collecting garbage? Why do you look down on me? Now that China is rich and powerful, foreigners flock to China. For example, a foreigner has second-hand goods to sell. I speak a foreign language to him like this, and foreigners see it like this. Oh! "Big" China people are really amazing! All junk collectors know English! ! ! What an impact this is. On the one hand, I am making a contribution silently in the front line of labor! On the other hand, we are constantly arming ourselves with science and culture! I love our country!
Ah, ah, what a noise!
A: That's it. . . . . . It's over! English learning to a certain extent, out of control! Sneak out while you're talking! What can I do after I speak English so well? Oh, my God.
Ok, let me ask you: do you still want that rubbish?
Oh, my God! I went too far and forgot my sacred profession. What kind of rubbish? Be careful.
B: How much is a bottle of vinegar?
Answer: the bottle mouth is deducted by five points, but not a dime!
B: These ten have buttons, and those ten don't.
A: One yuan and fifty cents. Here you are (B takes the money).
Oh, my God! How can a man like you still live in the world! (b is leaving soon. A said to B.
A: Good Bay!
What are you talking about? You throw up all over me, I'll let you see a doctor! (a) Push up the garbage truck and honk the horn: garbage for money! Walking forward for a while, I saw a stool with double backs, and a man and a woman were sitting behind the stool. They turned their backs to the audience and A sat down facing the audience. )
A: (To the audience) The ancients said: Monday is a rare day to do business. That's right. I've been out for almost half a day and I haven't received anything. Let's have a rest here and recite some words! (Men and women with their backs to the audience are talking)
Man: Does your husband know that we are dating like this?
Woman: Can he know? Just like that fool in my family. I know how to make money in one day, but I can't make much. (Woman to man) You should be careful, too! Don't let your wife know
Don't worry, my wife is a straight shooter. Not as much as I thought! If I sell her, she will have to count my money! Ha ha. . . . . . . . . . (A puts his hand over his ear and listens to the book)
Woman: Big Brother, you are really good! What education do you have in mind so much?
M: I am a junior college graduate majoring in tortoise. . . . . .
Woman: I see, the Internet cafe you mentioned is a computer major!
M: Yes! I graduated from Peking University majoring in computer science. What about you?
Woman: I am lower than you. I graduated from technical secondary school. Like a bitch.
Man: Bitch?
Woman: Yes, it's the watches on the car, one after another!
Man: Oh, that's called one meter.
Woman: Yes, it's a musical instrument. Big Brother: I am a literate person, but the one at home has no culture. We are not in the same class at all!
M: Me too. We both have culture to talk about, and we can do something big after that!
A: (A interrupts) The whole bastard or something!
Man: (looking back) Who are you talking about?
A: I'm not talking about you. I am reciting words. I'm just saying: (reading Chinese pinyin pronunciation) Z G Y Z S D in English means fart. (The man turns around and continues to talk to the woman. ) I almost forgot. When I came out, my wife said, let me send her a message when I get back.
W: Then send it quickly before your wife gets suspicious.
Man: (takes out his mobile phone to send a message) I'm-I'm-I'm doing it. . . . . . Why are you calling?
Woman: What do you want to type? Let me tell you something.
M: What's the word for doing things?
Female: Pinyin is run by the class.
Man: I know how to spell it Which of these two is B and which is D?
W: This is B and that is D.
M: What you said is wrong. B, where does the head go? Where does d head go?
Woman: I'm sure I'm right, B. This way!
Man: I'd better ask him (the man turns to ask the way) Hey! Dude, let me ask you something.
A: Go ahead!
Man: Where does head B go and head D go?
A: (A) My brain is rushing to other places. That's called crooked neck!
Man: (The man turns to the woman and says) It's in vain! Neither will he. This man has no culture, and he also said that his head is a lollipop! Forget it, I won't send it first. We'll talk later. (A's cell phone rings)
The phone is coming (answering the phone) yes! It's me.
Woman: (the woman asks the man) Brother, what do you think of us interacting with others like this?
A prostitute! (The man stands up and turns to talk, A says to the phone) I don't want a whore, it's too cheap! The man saw it and sat down on the phone. )
Man: (answering woman) As long as we are willing to care about what others say, this era doesn't matter.
Woman: (the woman says to the man again) Big Brother: You said you fell in love with me at first sight. What do you love about me?
What a pity! (The man turns back, and A goes on to say to the phone) I don't accept worn-out shoes. It's shameless of you to make me accept it!
Man: (The man says to A) Why do you always talk to me on this stupid phone?
A: (A hangs up the phone and says) Sorry, bitch!
M: What did you say?
Oh, I was wrong again. It's the prostitute that makes me angry, not you. You're not a prostitute!
M: All right! Stop it, I'm too lazy to talk to you. Look at your rags! (The woman tugs at the man and the man sits down)
Woman: (The woman asks the man again) Big Brother: What does your wife do at work?
M: My wife cleans the streets.
Woman: Oh!
Man: You never said what your husband does.
Woman: Didn't I tell you that my husband collects junk! (A fell to the ground from the stool at that time)
Oh, dear! It's her. (A turns around and grabs the woman and shouts) Wife! (at first glance, it turned out to be not a's wife, so apologize quickly. Sorry, I mistook you for someone else. . . . . . . (Man grabs a handful)
Man: I think you are deliberately giving me a hard time, right? Believe it or not, I'll beat you! (The woman said forget it, let's go somewhere else) Stay away from me! Do not let me see you again! What the hell!
A: (A to himself) What bad luck! How much junk was confiscated, and a prostitute scolded me! Don't accept it today, go home! (A pulls up the tattered car and is about to leave when a foreigner walks in front of him)
Foreigner: (speaking in fluent Chinese) Are you-are you-are you-are you-are you broken-are you rotten?
A: (excited) Oh, my God, something big is coming. (Nodding to answer) Yes, yes!
Foreigner: I have a lot of broken and rotten things to sell!
A: Good!
Foreigner: But-yes-I don't accept-dollars-only-people-people-coins!
A: So-why-why?
Foreigner: Because-for the people-people-currency-appreciation-quick!
A: OK! Beauty-circle-mine-does not exist, people-people-money-mine-big-big-land!
Foreigner: Let's go!
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