Meet by chance, fall in love with each other, and love for a lifetime from now on - To my dear you

When I was in middle school, many of my classmates were obsessed with reading romance novels and worked hard to the point of staying up all night. I didn’t understand it, so naturally I wasn’t infected.

In my impression, the plots of these idol dramas and romance novels are mostly all kinds of emotional entanglements, all kinds of counterattacks, all kinds of hatred, and so on. In middle school, many students do not have these life experiences and relatively correct judgment standards. In other words, without establishing a relatively correct three views, they can easily imitate their favorite characters without discrimination. style.

And a more serious phenomenon is that many girls expect the prince to fall under her skirt unconditionally and live a happy life from then on. Same goes for boys. I think this may explain why so many teenagers are easily addicted to romance novels.

Even if the plot is full of twists and turns, the ending is often the beautiful one you expect. And if the ending doesn't go as you want, at least it affects your emotions and allows you to experience a life experience. However, I can’t help but wonder what happens next?

Reality and fictional stories are always different. Sometimes when people get too involved in the drama, the boundary between reality and fiction will be blurred, and people will easily become paranoid. Of course I’m not saying that reading romantic novels and idol dramas is bad, but people should learn to “stand on the sidelines”. What does that mean? It means looking at the problem from the perspective of a bystander and thinking about the parts worth learning from. This is my standard for judging whether a romance novel or idol drama is worth watching.

Yunjia's new book "To My Dear You" also has a part that is more like a fairy tale and a more bloody plot. However, I don't dislike it because there are parts in it that are worth pondering.

Like many stories, the book describes a group of very good-looking people with good family backgrounds. They spend money like water, go to high-end places, travel abroad at will, and act boldly. , you can risk having your credit card deactivated by confronting your parents and then asking friends for help.

As you might imagine, this is also an example of birds of a feather flocking together. Rich and powerful people tend to become friends and family friends.

The main plot of this book is the story of the heroine Liao Xinxin passing by Song Nanchuan, whom she has been secretly in love with for four years, but receiving the most sincere love from Lu Xicheng.

Reading this book in one sitting made me think about the two aspects of "love" and "friendship".

1. About love

1. Does love require a good match?

This is a commonplace question. I think that in love, we need to pay attention to being well-matched.

In the secular world, being well-matched may refer to material and family background. But this is not comprehensive enough. There is another more important part, which is the spiritual level, that is, whether the values, outlook on life, and world view are consistent. The concrete manifestation is the ability to communicate and get along harmoniously.

Liao Xinxin and Lu Xicheng are well matched in appearance, education, and family background. A big reason why they had a flash marriage was because they were very suitable in all aspects.

Coupled with the fact that Liao Xinxin thought Song Nanchuan was married and her mother wanted her to go on a blind date, everything seemed natural and fell into place.

Later, as they continued to get along, what brought the two of them closer was their harmonious communication and relationship style.

The two of them are together because they are suitable for each other on the outside, and they promise to stay together for a lifetime because of their love for each other. Even if there was a slight misunderstanding in the process, they did not let go. That is because the inner love has been deeply rooted, and its protection system is enough to resist external interference.

The story also includes the story of Liao Xinxin's cousin Su Shi and Xia Tong, who has no family background but is more than good enough to match Su Shi in all aspects, in order to gain the approval of Su Shi's mother.

In the eyes of Su Shi’s mother, one must have the right family background to be her daughter-in-law, and Xia Tong was obviously not the candidate she approved of, so she took various means to break them up. .

Fortunately, Su Shi and Xia Tong loved each other enough and had the same beliefs, and they continued to work hard to gain the approval of Su Shi's mother. This is a protracted battle, and it is also a test question to test the degree of love between two people. Later, Su Shi's mother finally agreed that they could be together.

Isn’t there a saying that says: Love is not a temporary good feeling, but the urge to persist despite knowing that there is no result. I know it's not easy to meet you, and it would be a pity to miss you.

If we have this same understanding, how can we not be spiritually matched?

Therefore, it is really important to be well-matched, not only on the material level, but also on the spiritual level.

2. When love comes, should we pursue it at all costs?

For Song Nanchuan, Liao Xinxin counterattacked from a scumbag to a top student and was admitted to MIT. Later, because he learned that Song Nanchuan was teaching in London, he gave up his degree from MIT and followed him to London to study comparative planetology.

Because of her pride and reserve, she has always concealed her love for Song Nanchuan. Later, she learned that Song Nanchuan had a fiancée, so she deliberately avoided Song Nanchuan.

Song Nanchuan also liked Liao Xinxin, but he did not dare to express his opinion because he was already engaged.

One day Liao Xinxin asked him: "Professor Song, do you have a girl you like?"

Song Nanchuan shook his head: "No."

"Really not? It shouldn't be right? I feel like you have!"

"Really not." He lied to her.

Later, under the sunset by the Thames River, Song Nanchuan said to Liao Xinxin: "If you find that someone has lied to you in the future, you can marry the person who lied to you. He lied to you because he loves you. ."

Liao Xinxin asked her: "Why does lying mean love?"

"Because... he may want one more chance to confess to you."

After Song Nanchuan returned to China, because he also peacefully terminated his engagement with his fiancée Yang Siyu, he could have been with Liao Xinxin with the help of Teacher Tong.

But who knew that Lu Xicheng originally liked Liao Xinxin, but with his encouragement, Liao Xinxin became more and more notorious because of the incident of beating her ex-boyfriend's girlfriend, and she was also afraid that her mother would arrange it for her. Unsatisfied with her, Liao Xinxin rejected her mother's arrangement and pretended to be a couple with Lu Xicheng, even going so far as to discuss marriage. Since the news was published in newspapers, Song Nanchuan had no chance.

It is really helpless for God to play tricks on people. The secret love that I had for several years was unrequited, and ended in vain in the end.

3. Is there such a thing as missed love?

In the eyes of many people, Song Nanchuan and Liao Xinxin are a pair who have missed each other. They once loved each other. On the one hand, they did not want to cause harm to others because of the constraints of the marriage contract. On the other hand, they did not want to be the one rejected due to their own pride. They always hid their love for each other and dared not express their opinions.

But this is clearly not love enough!

In love, not hurting others is a good moral principle. But if you know that you like someone else before you get married, but you keep hiding it, is this irresponsible to both parties? How to run a marriage without love as the foundation? Although marriage is dull in the end, it is dull after love has retreated, which is completely different from a marriage that had no foundation of love from the beginning.

So, when we saw the end, we couldn't help but regret that Song Nanchuan finally broke off the engagement with Yang Siyu, so why not break it off earlier?

But! This is fate. All misses are actually "should haves", and there is no such thing as misses. Because what is yours is yours after all, and it will be useless even if someone forces a match if it is not yours.

Lost something in the east and gained something in the mulberry tree, as if it was already destined in the previous life. For Liao Xinxin, Lu Xicheng was the beauty she encountered unexpectedly.

4. What is love?

Meet by chance, fall in love with each other, love for a lifetime - this is love, the love that Liao Xinxin believes in.

Love is actually very beautiful and mysterious. There is no standard answer to the definition and understanding of love, because you know whether it is hot or cold.

Just like the moments when we fell in love with each other were so wonderful and different.

At the wedding ceremony of Liao Xinxin and Lu Xicheng, the emcee asked them: "When did you realize you fell in love with each other?"

Lu Xicheng said: "When I saw her crying At that moment, I felt that I should not be the one to wipe her tears, but the one to stop her crying!" Liao Xinxin said: "When I no longer dare to look directly into his eyes! That moment."

Lu Xicheng said to Liao Xinxin: I never looked forward to marriage before, because I never thought I would meet you. Who knew I would meet him? Fortunately, I did. I think this is the love that belongs to Liao Xinxin and Lu Xicheng.

2. About Friendship

For each of us, we may not have love, but we must have friendship. As I grow older, I feel more and more that friendship is also very fragile.

Friends who once talked about everything, like conjoined twins, break up due to distance in time, space or misunderstanding, and may even forget each other and never have anything to do with each other again.

It is because friendship can be so fragile that I envy the friendship between best friends Liao Xinxin and Tong Yuqian even more.

They talk about everything, know each other's deepest secrets, consult each other as soon as possible when encountering confusion, and protect each other without hesitation.

There is a paragraph in the book where Liao Xinxin talks about friendship: My friends, what I cherish is the right and wrong of you standing by my side unconditionally and without reason. View. I violate morality, you only need to scold me, "You are such a weirdo, why don't you take me with you?" Because blaming me is what defenders should do; when I rob homes, you only need to be shocked, "What kind of treasure is this?" "It's worth breaking the law" because arresting me is what the police should do; when I beat someone, you only need to wonder "What did he do to provoke you to beat him?" because you sympathize with him and even vent your anger for him. It's what his friends should do; I've become a rut, and you only need to curse, "I'm so worthless, how did I end up in this situation", and then pull me up, because I lamented, "It's better to forget each other than to help each other." "Being in the arena" is what mediocre people in the arena should do.

Anything I do will definitely not be completely right, but there must be a reason why I have to do it, and it can be understood by you, because you are my friends, because you, like me, are among "our own people" There is no absolute concept of right and wrong in this concept. What I need is a friend who can put himself in my shoes, not a good friend.

In fact, the meaning of a friend's existence is to "be needed". Sometimes you don't have to solve anything for me, you just need to be with me. You don't have to worry about being dragged down by me, because a normal person would not let his friends get hurt.

What is a truly lasting friendship? I think it means not putting the shackles of "being lifelong friends" on each other, letting each other feel "needed", being honest with each other, and not Forget to keep in touch.

Conclusion:

The main line of "To My Dear You" is love, and there is no competition and hatred that destroys three views. Some are letting go and blessing.

Should we find love or wait?

In fact, looking is waiting, and waiting is looking. The right time, right place and right people are still crucial, otherwise it will just be a miss that "should have been".

I always believe that "you will meet whoever you are." If you want to meet a suitable and satisfying partner, then you must first make yourself meet the standards you set.

Perhaps the love that many of us are looking forward to is: watching the morning light and then watching the sunset with the person we love, morning and night, we have it for a lifetime.

Finally, I wish you all a blessing with a sentence from the book:

The love only blessed by God, to my dearest you.