Outline classic lines

The first article: classic prose

We need to look for prey like wild animals.

After finding the target, we and our partner (design department) began to make bait (tender) and various capture preparations (answering questions and negotiating).

-"Our requirements are: high efficiency, preciseness and prudence"

Our leader often tells us that the whole idea should be very clear? Is that clear? Will the work be clear in the future? Clear "

(Jiangnan style)

"Happy New Year"

-"Oh, your face is so big."

-"Big Face with Face"

Chapter Two: Count the classic lines of Zhao Benshan's sketches.

1. Life is numbered, up to 36,000 days; There are thousands of houses at home, so it takes three feet to sleep.

Without working people, what do you eat and wear? No labor force

People, what are you bragging about? The working people are the greatest!

The mouse is the maid of honor of the cat, and you earn money hard.

4. Change it, change it, change it again, change it again.

5. With the next meal, and finally with gastroptosis; /first use the cup, then use the cup, and then blow the bottle with your small mouth.

6. I'm afraid no one will teach me. Whether the sticky bean bag falls from the sky/whether the cat can walk in a straight line depends entirely on the mouse.

7. Eyes are spinach in autumn.

8. As a result, when I went upstairs, the distance widened and the beauty disappeared! .

9. Baiyun and Black Soil apologize to you. Please open your eyes and see how pathetic I am. Can you and I be heavier today?

After yesterday's story, can my old boat ticket still board your wrecked ship? !

10. Since my nephew has changed from a township head to a three-fat man, we can't give him another stick. People at this time need understanding and comfort most.

1 1. Next, I'm going to travel, find a bigger city and go to Tieling.

12. She is uglier than you, she is not as ugly as you, and you are uglier than her.

13. Don't say that you are not qualified to drive, you look illegal.

13. Fool! Keep fooling!

14. This style is very unique. It happens to be six plus seven.

15. Did the pig hit the tree ~ ~ Did it hit the pig ~ ~ Did it rear-end ~ ~ ~

16. Everyone who has had sex with people knows that under normal circumstances, if you say the word "stupid", that's 80%.

17. Don't say that you are not qualified to drive, you are illegal; He is calm (in the mirror). Can you calm down?

18. Whether the cat walks in a straight line depends entirely on the mouse.

19. Two steps, two steps without disease;

20. Big head and thick neck. Either a rich man or a chef. Fate.

2 1. My heart is cold to the ground.

22. You are so talented!

23. People are like flowers in a flowerpot; Life is a mess!

24. Do you know what is the most painful thing in one's life? That is, people die and the money is not spent.

25. People have more painful things in this life. Do you know what this is? Is that people are not dead and money is gone!

26. How short life is. As soon as your eyes are closed, the day passes; Once you close your eyes, if you don't open them, your life will be over. ...

27. The peddler crippled him, and the peddler cheated him. If I don't finish him in ten minutes today, I can't be a teacher with you two!

28. As soon as I opened the door this morning, the old sow ran at a speed of 80 miles per second and ran into a tree-dead. Why?

29. If you let a blind man go to the South Pole, he will never find the North; You let the cerebral thrombosis on the fork, he can't hook his leg at all; You let the monkey wear cheongsam, it can't see beauty at all; You asked Pan Changjiang to kiss Zheng, but he couldn't reach his mouth.

Just because you young people jump and hug, we old people can only rely on it.

3 1. I am going to have a home, so I am homeless again.

32. "Are you Rainbow No.2 Primary School, Pan Dongzi and Private Zhang Ga?" "Why are they all children?" "Can an adult do such a thing as you?"

33. You once carried water for widows in the village and donated money for widows outside the village. You have the fate of a widow in your life.

34. Fear is love and love is fear.

35. Ah, what posture is this? Very chic, very 6+7!

36. If you let a blind man go to the South Pole, he will never find the North. You let the cerebral thrombosis on the fork, he can't hook his leg at all; You let the monkey wear cheongsam, it can't see beauty at all; You asked Pan Changjiang to kiss Zheng, but he couldn't reach his mouth.

37. How can there be such a big gap between two cohabiting couples?

38.you must be looking for something to smoke.

39. The rooster that lays eggs is a fighter among roosters.

40. Your aunt is not the aunt six years ago, and your uncle will always be your uncle!

4 1. The world is crazy, and mice are the bridesmaids of cats.

42. Sleeping with backache, eating with nausea, and being confused. What's the matter? After a lifetime of happiness, I understand what happiness is. Answer: Happiness is pain!

43. Now I'm not telling the truth, but saying something.

44. In this life, I can't be happy if you don't bully me.

45. "I'm not nervous."

46. Give you a little sunshine and you will be brilliant.

47.stupid

Article 3: Quotations from Zhao Benshan's classic prose.

sketch

■ 1990 CCTV Spring Festival Evening, the sketch "Blind Date" (Zhao Benshan, Huang Xiaojuan) won the first place in the drama genre of "Double Star Cup".

Classic lines: Everyone who has had sex with people knows that under normal circumstances, if you say "stupid", that's 80%!

■ 199 1 CCTV Spring Festival Evening, the sketch "Xiao Jiu Lao Le" (Zhao Benshan, Yang Lei) won the first prize of the best program.

Classic lines: fear is love, and love is fear.

■ 1992 CCTV spring festival evening, the sketch "I want to have a home" (Zhao Benshan, Huang Xiaojuan) won the first prize in drama.

Classic lines: men are half women;

My name is not nervous.

■ 1993 CCTV Spring Festival Evening, sketch "Happy New Year to the Old" (Zhao Benshan, Yan Shuping, etc. ) won the second place in the drama category.

Classic lines: I am the director of the art room, which is equivalent to one meter. Drag me here. It's Sunday seven days a week.

■ 1995 CCTV Spring Festival Evening, the sketch "Uncle Niu" (Zhao Benshan,,) won the second prize in the sketch category.

Classic lines: nonsense;

Use the cup first, then the cup, then blow the bottle with a small bowl.

■ 1996 CCTV Spring Festival Evening, the sketch "Three Whips" (Zhao Benshan, Fan Wei, Li Hai) won the second prize in the sketch category.

Classic lines: don't say you are not qualified to drive, you are illegal;

He is calm (in the mirror). Can you calm down? ;

Look at your rotten stomach. Who will believe you if you don't eat it?

■ 1997 CCTV Spring Festival Evening, sketch "Red Sorghum Model Couplet" (Zhao Benshan, Fan Wei, etc. ) won the second prize in sketch class.

Classic lines: Whether a cat can walk in a straight line depends entirely on the mouse. ;

I'm worried that no one will teach me, and sticky bean bags will fall from the sky;

Teacher Fan, I think laborers are the most beautiful people! What can we eat without the hard work of all the workers in the world? What to wear without the labor of laborers? What are you bragging about when you have nothing to eat or wear? !

■ 1998 CCTV Spring Festival Evening sketch "Happy New Year" (Zhao Benshan, Gao Xiumin, Fan Wei) won the second prize in the sketch category.

Classic lines: Come down, because of what, corruption! Mice escort cats-making money is not fatal.

■ 1999 CCTV Spring Festival Evening, the essay Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow (Zhao Benshan, Song Dandan and Cui Yongyuan) won the first prize.

Classic lines: Is this a shoehorn face? ! This is authentic pig kidney noodles;

Hello, the meal is ok, come down, miss;

Eyes are spinach in autumn.

There is another kind of household appliance ... flashlight!

■ In CCTV Spring Festival Evening in 2000, the sketch "The Hour Worker" (Zhao Benshan and Song Dandan) won the first prize.

Classic lines: demo, take off your vest, I still know you;

I have been looking for happiness all my life. When I am old, I understand. What is happiness? Answer: happiness is suffering; Walking away hurts self-esteem, and self-esteem hurts self-esteem;

You wear a vest. I don't know you?

■2006 54 38+0 CCTV Spring Festival Evening sketch "Kidnapping" (Zhao Benshan, Gao Xiumin, Fan Wei) won the first prize.

Classic lines: Believe it or not? Do not believe! Take two steps, take two steps without illness;

Big head and thick neck, either rich or cook;

Fate. What kind of bike do you want? ;

How can there be such a big gap between cohabiting couples?

■ In 2002 CCTV Spring Festival Evening, the sketch "Selling Cars" (Zhao Benshan, Gao Xiumin and Fan Wei) won the first prize.

Classic lines: fool, then fool. ;

You're finished. A heartless disease is devouring healthy cells in your brain, and a brand-new vegetative state is about to be born.

■ In CCTV Spring Festival Evening in 2003, the sketch Heart Disease (Zhao Benshan, Gao Xiumin, Fan Wei) won the first prize.

Classic lines: my heart, pull out the cold and pull out the cold ground. ;

Life is only a matter of minutes, a * * * thirty-six thousand days. There are thousands of houses at home, which are only three feet wide when sleeping. No matter how well the house is repaired, it is also a temporary residence, and that small box is your permanent home!

■ In the CCTV Spring Festival Evening in 2004, the essay "Sending a Water Worker" (Zhao Benshan, Gao Xiumin and Fan Wei) won the first prize.

Classic lines: I'm fake.

This foreign beer is too strong; Fan Wei: "The eyes are a little flowery, aren't they?" Zhao Benshan: "Ah ~ a few degrees below zero!" ?

Zhao Benshan: "How many years have you been exporting?" Fan Wei: "Huh? Go abroad for 6 years. "Zhao Benshan:" I heard your mother say that you learn from your father there? Fan Wei: "No, study mummies." Zhao Benshan: "Ah, what about aunt's research?" Fan Wei: "Hehehe, it's not an aunt, it's a body found." Zhao Benshan: "What ancient poems did you go there to learn? There are ancient poems in China! There are 300 Tang poems-the foot of the bed is bright, and the mirror loves frost. If you don't rub it often, it will be dirty if you don't rub it well. " ; Zhao Benshan: "Have you made any achievements in studying Mu Yi milk?" ? Fan Wei: "Aunt Mu's milk ... No, it isn't, the mummy. I can use mummies of more than 3,000 years to distinguish between true and false. " ? Zhao Benshan: "Can you tell the truth in three thousand years? I'd better send water. Didn't hit the gun? The mummies of 3,000 years are all true or false. I won't reveal the secret in the future?

■2005 CCTV Spring Festival Evening sketch "Kung Fu" (Zhao Benshan, Fan Wei, etc. ) won the first prize.

Classic lines: don't worry, dial a harassing call first;

As soon as I opened the door this morning, the old sow ran at a speed of 80 miles per second and crashed into a tree-dead, why;

I heard that he changed from a chef to a fraud hotline, and he dared to threaten that he would not be cheated again. The cruel reality has reached the defense line in my heart. If I don't sell him something this year, I can't talk to the topic I promised for three years.

The audience cashed in ~ ~ ~ ~ ~; The kidnapping made him limp, and so did the handlebar. If I don't finish him in ten minutes today, I can't be a teacher with you two.

Turn around for a year and shake your destiny for a year. Thank you. Cross-examination ~ self-study ~ (Fan Wei); The world is so crazy that the mouse is the maid of honor of the cat; You hit me twice.-You can't do this! You scold me-you can't open your mouth; This style is quite unique, very six plus seven (Fan Wei); Pigs have the same idea (Fan Wei)

■ In the CCTV Spring Festival Evening in 2006, the essay "Saying Things" (Zhao Benshan, Song Dandan and Cui Yongyuan) won the first prize.

Classic lines: Isn't that pretty? . It's ... it's hard to be a famous old woman.

Your aunt is not the aunt six years ago, and your uncle will always be your uncle!

■ The sketch "Planning" (Zhao Benshan, Song Dandan and Niu Niu) of CCTV Spring Festival Evening in 2007 won the first prize.

Classic lines: You are so talented!

The cock that lays eggs, the fighter in the cock, yeah!

A rooster, it wants to lay eggs, not its job, it wants to do it, isn't it shameful to lose it? Right? Do you want to lose this chicken? What do colleagues think of him? What does the chicken think of him? What does the duck think of him? What does the goose think of it? How to mix in the literary and art circles in the future? You see .....

■ The essay "Torchbearer" (Zhao Benshan, Song Dandan and Liu Liu) won the first prize of CCTV Spring Festival Evening in 2008.

Classic lines: this and that. Okay!

Thanks for TV, thanks? All televisions; After I became a torchbearer, this leg is not the leg of ordinary people, but the leg of an Olympic torchbearer. Zhao Benshan: That's ham. Liu Liu: Add two more trees. Zhao Benshan: Double bed. Liu Liu: How about green tea? Zhao Benshan: Green tea; ; Zhao Benshan: Shuffle, code cards, draw cards, watch cards, listen to cards, silly!

■ In 2009 CCTV Spring Festival Evening, the essay "Not Bad Money" (Zhao Benshan, Bi Fujian, yang shen, Mao Mao) won the first prize.

Classic lines: this can have ..

This is really not true. When you close your eyes and open them again, the day passes. When your eyes are closed, your life is over. Howl ~ ~! The most painful thing in life is that people are alive but money is gone.

A long-cherished secret. Actually, my master's surname is also Bi.

■ On ■20 10/0 CCTV Spring Festival Evening, the essay "Donation" (Zhao Benshan, Little Shenyang, Wang Xiaoli, Sun Lirong and Yu Yang) won the first prize.

Classic lines: we are like two piles of dry wood, where you burn very brightly, and you turn around and soak me in urine;

This is not a lack of light. You haven't opened the lens cover yet.

; This is not a live broadcast. This is a scene!

"As far as Americans are concerned, this is not the same as borrowing money from us this year! What is it! " ; "I just want to have a home, and I will make you homeless!" ;

"Are you like Sanmao, Nezha and King Kong Huluwa?" ; "Why are they all children?" "My Lord, who did this?" ;

"fetch water for widows in the village, donate money to widows outside, and this life is destined for widows!" ■20 10 Happy Camp

Classic line: "I have no master, my master is life."

■20 1 1 CCTV Spring Festival Evening, the sketch "You at the same table" (Zhao Benshan, wang xiaoli, Lin Li, Xiao Shenyang), won the first prize in the early sketch.

Classic line: "Omit 10,000 words here!"

Article 4: Classical lines of prose

1. Life is numbered, up to 36,000 days;

There are thousands of houses at home, and it takes three feet to sleep;

To sum up, four sentences:

Say that people are like flowers in a pot; Life is a mess;

No matter how well the house is repaired, it is also a temporary residence;

That little box is your permanent home!

2. Because you didn't stick to the crutch, the virus rose rapidly, with two big tendons on your legs, like two expressway, and the virus moved upward at a speed of 180 km/h. You're finished. A heartless disease is devouring your healthy cells, and a brand-new vegetative state is about to be born.

White clouds and black soil apologize to you. Please open your eyes and see how pathetic I am. Can you and I repeat yesterday's story today, and can my old boat ticket board your wrecked ship! !

I heard that he changed from a chef to an anti-fraud hotline, and he dared to threaten not to be cheated again. The cruel reality has almost reached my defense. If I don't sell him something this year, I won't be able to keep my promise with the audience for three years ~ ~ ~ ~ ~! !

5. Don't worry, dial a harassing call first ~! ~!

6. You hit me twice, but you couldn't ~! ~ You scold me ~ You can't open your mouth! ~! ~

7. 1989 There was a bumper grain harvest, the flood was driven away, people lived and worked in peace and contentment, praised the leadership of the party, and foreign countries were in chaos and intrigued all day. Yesterday, the cabinet stepped down, and today, the Prime Minister was fired, playing with the financial crisis, talking and leading. Looking at the world situation, the scenery here is better! Thank you very much ......？

8. The peddler crippled him, and the peddler cheated him. If I don't get rid of him in ten minutes today, I can't be a teacher with you two!

9. Without the working people, what you eat and wear does not touch the people, and you also boast that the working people are the greatest!

10. The distance has widened and the beauty is gone! Don't shout when eating, call-hello! The meal is ok, come down and take a nap!

1 1. As soon as I opened the door this morning, the old sow ran at a speed of 80 pulses per second and crashed into a tree-dead. Why?

12. You let the blind man go to the South Pole, but he can't find the North at all; You let the cerebral thrombosis on the fork, he can't hook his leg at all; You let the monkey wear cheongsam, it can't see beauty at all; You ask Pan Changjiang to kiss Zhao, but he can't reach his mouth at all. ?

13. None of the people I mentioned are that good. Zhao Zhongxiang's "Animal World" was not broadcast, Ni Ping changed course without being the host, and Cui Yongyuan couldn't sleep.

14. Since my nephew has changed from a township head to a three-fat man, we can't give him another stick. People at this time need understanding and comfort most.

15. The mouse is the maid of honor of the cat, and you are desperately making money.

16. The spring breeze of reform is blowing all over the earth, and the people of China really live up to expectations. Qi Xin joined hands to cross the century, and a flood was not smooth.

17. Next, I'm going to travel, find a bigger city and go to Tieling.

18. Another household appliance-flashlight

19. If you make a change, you make a change. If you make changes, you will make changes again.

20. She is uglier than you, she is not as ugly as you, and you are uglier than her.

2 1. My name is not nervous

22. Accompany the next meal, and finally accompany the stomach to droop/use the cup first, then use the cup, and then blow the bottle with the small mouth.

23. Don't say that you are not qualified to drive. You look illegal.

24. Nobody taught you how to worry. Whether the sticky bean bag falls from the sky/whether the cat can walk in a straight line depends entirely on the mouse.

25. Come down, because of what, corruption! /A mouse escorts a cat-it's not bad to make money.

26. Who says my face looks like a shoehorn? This is a typical pig kidney face /leer, even spinach in autumn is ok. Come down and find missy.

27. Look, I still know you without a vest/I have been seeking happiness all my life. When I am old, I understand what happiness is. Answer: Happiness is pain/leaving, which hurts self-esteem.

28. Ruthless diseases are devouring healthy cells in your brain, and a brand-new vegetative state is about to be born. Don't do that, just dig out our IQ and weigh it, which is two kilograms heavier than you.

29. This foreign beer is really strong. /The foot of my bed is shining with such bright light that the glass loves frost. If you don't rub it often, you have to dirty yourself.

30. This style is unique. Very six plus seven. /So is the pig.

365438+

32. noisy, noisy, noisy. What is its ending? I was eating in the next room, and I just listened to the chatter and noise in this room. Why did we fight again?

33. 1.8 million That's a lot of money! In the whole village, town and even county, we are the boss. Look at the third child next door. This guy spends 10 to 20 thousand yuan a year in the greenhouse, and his daughter has been sent to the Foreign Languages Institute. Last time I came back, I said a few good words to him. I said your daughter came back, and she didn't talk to my people. "I'm teasing the cat, I'm teasing the cat!" Let's see him this time and I'll tell me where the dog is!

34. Destroy the village committee and build a two-story building with a fence one foot and two feet high around it with barbed wire. There are four watchtowers in four corners, which are guarded day and night by militia with spears. The whole two iron gates locked the door, and two big German shepherd crouched behind the door. Customize a lock of eight and a half pounds to smash the door to death. Nobody can go in, and you can't get out. ""It's a bit like a prison, isn't it? " "noisy! "

35. As a result, when I went upstairs, the distance widened and the beauty disappeared! You don't call me for dinner every day. You make a phone call and speak a foreign language. "Hello, the meal is ok, let's dilute it!"

36. Sleeping with backache, my stomach turned straight, my head was confused, and I didn't know what was right. After a lifetime of happiness, I understand what happiness is. Answer: Happiness is pain!

37. "I remember I gave you a pen, a table and a big blame for your family. When did I make eyes at you? Is the leer over? " "Eyes are young men and women-""You don't know what eyes are, so you have no culture. Eyes are spinach in autumn. "

38. Attention from South to North! Watch your legs. Oh! See if there are any problems. Oh! Take two steps without illness! I'll kidnap you when you get well! Turn around! Turn around!

39. This is the source of nonsense!

40. Zhao Benshan: I greeted him kindly, and he told me the whole sentence: Hit the cat ~ Gao Xiumin: If he dares to take the cat out in an ostentatious manner again, we will let the dog pinch him!

4 1. If you want to live a decent life, you are not afraid to take some green on your back. Horizontal batch: Ninja Turtles

Chapter Five: Classic lines of Zhao Benshan's prose over the years.

On February 6th, 2008, on New Year's Eve, China comedy superstars Zhao Benshan and Song Dandan staged an Olympic-themed sketch "Torchbearer" for Chinese people around the world at the 2008 Spring Festival Gala of CCTV. The program uses humorous words to describe the important position of the Beijing Olympic Games in the eyes of ordinary people in China. China News Agency issued Yang Kejia photo

-1990 "blind date"

Wonderful lines: Just because you young people jump around and hug each other, we old people can only rely on each other/have sex. As we all know, under normal circumstances, if you say the word idiot, that's 80%.

-1992 "I want to have a home"

Wonderful lines: I'm not nervous

-1995 "Uncle Niu".

Wonderful lines: accompany me at last meal, accompany me at next meal, and accompany me at last with gastroptosis/first use the cup, then use the cup, and then blow the bottle with your mouth.

Wonderful story: nonsense

-1996 Three Whips

Wonderful lines: don't say you are not qualified to drive, you seem to be illegal.

-1997 Red Sorghum Model Team

Wonderful lines: I'm afraid no one will teach me. Whether the sticky bean bag falls from the sky/whether the cat can walk in a straight line depends entirely on the mouse.

-1998 "Happy New Year"

Wonderful lines: come down, because of what, corruption! /A mouse escorts a cat-it's not bad to make money.

-1999 Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow

Wonderful lines: Who said my face looks like a shoehorn? This is a typical pig kidney face/eye, that is, spinach/rice in autumn is ok. Come down, miss.

-Hourly worker in 2000

Wonderful lines: I can still recognize you without my vest. I have prayed for happiness all my life. When I am old, I understand. What is happiness? Answer: Happiness is pain/leaving, which hurts self-esteem.

-200 1 "Kidnapping"

Wonderful lines: big head and thick neck, either rich or cooking/believe it or not? Do not believe! How can there be such a big gap between two cohabiting couples? /Fate, Fate-Selling cars in 2002

Wonderful lines: ruthless diseases are devouring healthy cells in your brain, and a brand-new vegetative state is about to be born. /Don't do this, just dig out our IQ and weigh it, two catties more than you.

-Heart disease in 2003

Wonderful lines: cold heart.

-"Water Delivery Man" in 2004

Other wonderful lines

This foreign beer is really strong/the foot of my bed is shining brightly, and the glass loves frost. If you don't rub it often, you have to dirty yourself.

Life is numbered, up to 36 thousand days; There are thousands of houses at home, and it takes three feet to sleep;

Say that people are like flowers in a pot; Life is a mess!

No matter how well the house is built, it is also a temporary residence! That little box is your permanent home! It's okay. Take two steps!

The Year of the Pig is popular: You are so talented!

Eyes are spinach in autumn.

I don't even know you in a vest.

I'll have two glasses first ~ ~

Did the pig hit the tree ~ ~ Did it hit the pig ~ ~ Did it rear-end ~ ~ ~

That's what pigs think ~ ~ ~ What to do when choosing pigs ~ ~ That's what donkeys think ~ ~ ~

I said you are not particular ~

You don't play cards according to the routine ~ ~ Guess the sharp turn, but you press 3 ~! Oh, my God, my God, which angel sister helped me! ~

Very 6+7 ~

I broke my fucking letter and my mouth, and I was almost not tired ~ ~ I also carried water for the widow ~ ~ I turned around for a year and shook my fate for a year ~

Thank you~

Horizontal batch: self-taught ~

The distance has opened, and the beauty is gone! Don't shout when eating, call-hello! The meal is ok. Let's come down and miss the west.

Kidnapping made him limp and the car cheated him. If I don't get rid of him in ten minutes today, I can't be a teacher with you two!

Without the working people, what you eat and wear will not touch the people, and you also boast that the working people are the greatest!

The distance has opened, and the beauty is gone! Don't shout when eating, call-hello! The meal is ok, come down and take a nap!

As soon as I opened the door this morning, the old sow ran at a speed of 80 miles per second and ran into a tree-dead. Why?

Relax and use my forehead as a lens.

Don't say that you are not qualified to drive, you look illegal.

Whether the cat walks in a straight line depends entirely on the mouse.

I don't even know you in a vest.

With a big head and a thick neck, he is either a rich man or a chef.

You let the blind man go to the South Pole, and he can't find the North at all; You let the cerebral thrombosis on the fork, he can't hook his leg at all; You let the monkey wear cheongsam, it can't see beauty at all; You asked Pan Changjiang to kiss Zheng, but he couldn't reach his mouth.

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