What should I do to be worthy of you?

Ajing called me in the evening, and she was very depressed. It turned out that her boyfriend was bidding for a project and needed to calculate a quotation. She asked Ajing to help, but Ajing didn’t know how to do it, so she Ask me, "Do you think I should study accounting?"

I can understand A-Jing's mood. A-Jing's boyfriend is an entrepreneurial man. He is very young, but quite capable. They work very hard, and all the tender documents their company goes out to bid for are made by themselves. Ah Jing is the kind of person who is lazy and casual. She has good taste, outstanding clothes, and is very interesting. She is a good communicator.

In the eyes of outsiders, these two people are really a complementary match. A Jing's male partner can drive A Jing to be serious and motivated, and A Jing can also make the male partner get good results when he is tired from starting a business. Relax, because she is someone who can create that kind of "slow environment" and healing atmosphere. In addition, A-Jing's business needs social interaction, A-Jing is completely helpful in this aspect, and her good taste makes it very suitable for her to attend some formal occasions.

But sometimes Ah Jing is a little worried. For example, this time Ah Jing’s male ticket needs to be calculated, but Ah Jing can’t do it. Ah Jing will wonder if she is not good enough for him and whether she should improve herself.

Improving yourself in your emotional life must be a very important thing, but such improvement must be for yourself first, and must be based on a reasonable assessment of your own abilities. For example, Ah Jing is learning accounting now, not for herself at all, but because she thinks that men need it, not to mention the time and money cost of learning, and whether it will be really useful after learning. That is, if you really learn accounting and use it, and you have to make a cost list tomorrow, do you have to study engineering?

This kind of life of following the other person’s needs will cause pain, and it is not beneficial to yourself. What's even more frightening is that you may feel that you have sacrificed and dedicated yourself, but the other person feels that I didn't ask you to do this, and it doesn't exchange for gratitude, cherishment, and love for you.

So in a relationship, we should not think about what I need to do to match you, but how to become a better version of myself and how to manage this relationship well.

For example, A Jing doesn’t like doing calculations at all. She really doesn’t want to learn to be an accountant, but she can use her communication skills to recommend reliable accountants to give her male votes. And A Jing likes photography and traveling. She should put some effort in this area so that her husband can have a relaxing journey when he is tired, enjoy the beautiful scenery and leave beautiful photos, which will make this relationship more beautiful. good.

Be yourself first, and then become the unique one standing next to the other person.