Why don't Japanese old people need to help their children with their children?

Why don't Japanese old people need to help their children with their children?

Why don't Japanese old people need to help their children with their children? The development of children is a matter of concern to their relatives. It is important to relieve the pressure on children appropriately. Faced with this problem, parents can adjust their mentality, and neither parents nor children can ignore every problem in the process of growing up. Share with you why Japanese elderly people don't need to help their children with their children.

Why Japanese elderly people don't need to take care of their children 1 In China, many families have parents working to earn money, and their children are looked after by grandparents. This phenomenon is very common in China, but it is completely opposite in Japan. Mother-in-law pursues freedom and independence and what she loves, but she will never help her children with their children. Is it very confusing?

Let's see why.

Xiaomei especially likes watching Japanese anime since she was a child. She visited the exhibition again and met her husband Kojiro, a Japanese studying in China. After that, they fell in love, and then they successfully entered the marriage hall. After that, they got pregnant with a baby and lived happily.

Xiaomei returned to China not long ago and chatted with me in her spare time, telling me that her Japanese mother-in-law didn't help her look after the children. At this time, I feel wronged for Xiaomei. How can this mother-in-law do this? Doesn't she like her grandson?

At this moment, Xiaomei interrupted me. She said, "Actually, I think it's good." In Xiaomei's eyes, I also saw her pride in her mother-in-law!

Then Xiaomei analyzed it for me. First, she can avoid confrontation with her mother-in-law in parenting. After all, every generation is like a mountain. What's more, this mother-in-law is Japanese, and the differences in parenting and lifestyle between China people are even greater!

She also told me: "In Japan, we basically live separately from our mother-in-law. After marriage, my husband and I have an independent family. Even if we have a baby in the future, our in-laws will not participate too much, so we have our own independent space. Their parents come to our house occasionally, and we will be particularly enthusiastic and miss them.

Of course, when I really have something to do to take care of the baby, my mother-in-law is still willing to come and help. "I heard that, I admire the way Japanese mother-in-law handles the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law!

Later, she also said that on the other hand, she admired her mother-in-law, because her mother-in-law told her: "In Japan, women have no so-called likes and dislikes from the day they get married. They have worked hard for this family all their lives and have to take care of everyone in the family. Now that the children are married, I can finally get rid of what I have long wanted to do. I'm going to learn a musical instrument, which I love all my life! "

Xiaomei said: "I am very supportive of my mother-in-law's pursuit, so I don't blame her for not helping me with my children!" " "

Leaving aside China's attitude towards Japanese for the time being, I think some places are worth pondering and learning from. In China, mothers and mother-in-law can't wait to run behind their children's buttocks every day, and the concept of "raising children to prevent old age" has taken root in their hearts. As everyone knows, their best belonging is themselves!

Why don't Japanese old people need to help their children with their children? Nowadays, in China, whether in urban or rural areas, the elderly can take care of their children everywhere, and it is normal for the elderly to help them take care of their children. In the community, several old people are together, chatting and looking after the children. When going to school, the old man is responsible for picking up the children's schoolbags. Seeing these scenes, I believe everyone will not be surprised. However, in Japan, on the contrary, it is common for the elderly not to look after their children. It is nothing new for young Japanese mothers to carry one, push one and pull another out. Even if the mother works and the child goes to the nursery, the mother will not easily ask the old man for help when she is busy at both ends, and no one thinks that the old man is disgraceful.

It is a common idea that Japanese people attach importance to self-reliance, take care of their own lives and do not depend on others. In Japan, if it is not for economic reasons or if one party really cannot do without help, young and old couples are generally separated. Even if you live in the same house, the floor, bathroom, kitchen, telephone and even entrance and exit doors are used separately to avoid friction due to too close distance. When young couples have children, they naturally have to take care of them. The old man's job is only to help the young mother when she is really busy, and occasionally look after the child, let her have a rest or go out to relax. Old people are definitely not the main force of parenting. So what are the old people in Japan doing when the young mother is struggling?

First of all, the hobbies of the elderly. Like young mothers now, they have gone through a very hard process of raising children, or they may be daughters-in-law in the era of big family cohabitation, and they have made great efforts for their families. Now I can finally relax and do things I always wanted to do but couldn't, such as traveling. They usually travel together with their wives or friends. They may be old friends or new partners with similar hobbies. To put it more bluntly, Japanese old people who are relaxed and free are like elderly rich and smart college students. They know how to plan in detail in advance, have the financial strength to spend money, stay in good hotels, taste delicious food, and finally don't forget to buy souvenirs or snacks for their families, which makes young mothers who are struggling to raise children at home envious. My mother-in-law once left a "famous saying" to her daughter-in-law, who looks after the house, before going out for a trip: When you are 60 years old, you will be as free as me, and you can go wherever you want. If you want to travel, you have to take advantage of your health, and it costs a lot. When you want to stay at home quietly and do something, handicrafts are very popular with the elderly in Japan. The most representative is patchwork.

In Japan, it is not mainstream for the elderly to help with their children, but they also have to worry about their own lives! Changing diapers, feeding and playing with them all take time and energy. Now the maternal age is also rising, and grandparents are getting older, which shows that many people are exhausted.

Old people in Japan have more money and leisure than young people, but they don't buy a house for their soon-to-be-married children or take care of them. It seems that they are just busy with their petty bourgeoisie life and don't "care" about their children like the old people in China. However, for parents, raising and educating their children is really one thing. If the elderly help their children too much, it will inevitably lead to the psychological and economic dependence of young parents and make it impossible to educate their children independently. Too much interference by the elderly in their children's family affairs will inevitably lead to friction and a series of disputes over the right to education. Japanese elderly people are busy enjoying their own lives, but also for their physical and mental health and delaying aging, so as to give their children as little trouble as possible in the future.