Recommend a few classic jokes.

1. Four tragedies in life: long drought meets rain; When you meet an old friend in a foreign country, you are a creditor; Wedding night, next door; When nominating a gold medal, dream.

The mouse never found a wife. One day a bat finally agreed to marry him. He was very happy. Others laughed at it for having no eyes, and the mouse said, you don't know anything, and you are also a flight attendant.

3. A young couple, sleepy in the morning, the wife exclaimed: Husband is back. My husband immediately grabbed his underwear and jumped out of the window.

4. How did you ride yesterday? Not too bad. The problem is that my horse is popular. A: How kind of you? B: Yes. When I rode to the fence, it let me pass first!

Looking at the toilet from a distance, you can see how spectacular the toilet is and there is no paper in your pocket.

6. Fart is the residual gas in the abdomen, so there is no reason not to let it go. This gas swims around and always comes out. Those who let go are proud, and those who hear are depressed!

7. Thirty people are Pentium, Rhapsody in July is Microsoft, fifty people are Panasonic, and sixty people are Lenovo. ......

8. When the nurse saw a patient drinking in the ward, she went over and whispered, "Sweetheart!" The patient smiled and said, "Little Baby".

9. A fool saw a pile of poop in front of him. He leaned over and smelled it, as if it were poop. He thought it was poop when he dug it, but it must be poop when he tasted it. The fool said happily, fortunately, I didn't step on it!

10. A girl named Yang Xiaochun lives upstairs. A boy looked for her downstairs and shouted, "Spring, spring ..." The girl upstairs probed and said, "Who is spring downstairs?" "me!" The boy answered loudly.

1 1. The mother advised her daughter to marry a rich old man, and her daughter shouted excitedly: I won't marry that man, he is too old! Mother comforted: What does it matter? We're not cooking!

12. A farmer's daughter was so ugly that she had to be a scarecrow in the corn field. As a result, not only did she scare away the crows, but even three crows were scared to send some corn back.

13. Robber: Tell me the password of the safe! Don't say kill you! Salesgirl: I won't tell you if you kill me! You ruined me, and I won't tell! The robber looked her up and down and said, you must be beautiful!

14. I like a girl and have never had the courage to contact her actively. Later, I finally got up the courage to invite her to dinner and confessed. Unexpectedly, I opened my mouth and said, shall we sleep together?

15.a: Yesterday, the bus driver stared at me as if I didn't buy a ticket. What about you? A: Very simple. I stared at him as if I had bought a ticket.

16. While waiting for the bus, a MM kept staring at me and laughing, thinking that she was handsome and brave. After a few laps, MM's smile became more and more charming ... As a result, an aunt said, don't step on shit, young man.

17. I said: You are a pig. You said: I am a pig. From then on, I called you a pig, and finally one day you couldn't stand it anymore, shouting at me in front of everyone: I'm not a pig!

18. Sick child: Mom, why does the aunt who gave medicine wear a mask? Mom: The medicine I gave you is delicious. The dean is worried that they will steal it. Sick child: Do you wear masks for those uncles with knives because you are afraid of eating?

19. A university professor told his students that the ancient word Lu means to kiss, which is very vivid. At this time, some students asked: where are the words? What are four people and a dog doing?

20. Weather forecast: RMB will be deposited in most parts of Beijing tonight, with checks in the northwest and gold bars in some areas! The meteorological department reminds the public to prepare big sacks and get ready to make a fortune!

2 1. Someone cursed in the office: The director is a ball! The director just came in: I am a ball, what are you? This man has a flexible mind: we count the hairs of the ball and unite closely around you.

Late at night, Bush was surprised to see bin Laden standing in front of his bed and said, How dare you break into the White House at night! Bin Laden shook his chest-high beard and said with a grimace, "It's so soft and confident!"!

23. A drunk said to his wife: Our house is haunted! When I went to the toilet just now, the light came on as soon as I opened the door, and a gust of wind blew out. His wife slapped him and said, this is the third time you got drunk and peed in the refrigerator!

24. The young man farted, and the woman next to him put three bah, bah, bah! The young man asked unhurriedly, Comrade, why did you spit out the nuts when you ate fart?

25. Don't be so tired, don't be so tired, take a rest when you are uncomfortable, eat when you are hungry, don't be afraid of being expensive, work is stupid, don't object to him, go to bed on time while eating, and want your friends to come to the party!

26. In the vast sea of people, my heart is broken for you. You seem indifferent, but you make me feel boring. Your indifference makes me afraid to confess, but I can't extricate myself. Now I want you to understand ... you're stepping on my foot!

27. Two farm children are chatting. One suddenly asked: Can your cows smoke? Another said: How can cows smoke? First child: Oh, well, maybe your cowshed is on fire.

28. The scholar wrote a poem: The heavy snow falls one after another, which is a royal soul! What's wrong with another three years? The beggar who avoided the cold probe scolded: put your shit!

29. A psychopath sang in bed, turned over and continued to sing on the pillow. The attending doctor asked him why he turned over. Psycho said: idiot, of course you have to turn over after singing A-side!